DANGER SIGNS:
1. AM I TRIPPING UP MY BROTHER OR SISTER IN CHRIST?
- Romans 14:13b, 15b.
- In church arguments and fights, so often our focus is on showing everyone how right we are.
- Here, though, in v. 13b, we are instructed not to put a stumbling block in front of a brother or sister.
- Let me pause, as I have throughout this series, and say once again that we are discussing disputable matters, not core Biblical principles. What might it look like to put a stumbling block in front of someone on a disputable matter?
a. Let’s say they’re a new believer. As they interpret a passage, they get one part right but a couple parts they don’t fully understand. In response we mock them and make them feel stupid. It creates a feeling within them that they can’t read the Bible right, so they stop trying. We’ve tripped them up spiritually.
b. Let’s say it’s someone who has been a Christian for a while but not as long as us. They share an opinion we disagree with and are vociferous in our reply. They feel badly and don’t want to come back to a church that treats them like that, so they quit going to church. We’ve tripped them up spiritually.
c. Let’s say that I get into an argument at work with a fellow believer from another church about a disputable matter. We lay into each other with our denominational arguments. Another person who is just getting started spiritually listens in and thinks, “If this is how mature believers act, I’m not sure that’s who I want to become.” She continues to go to church but the fire she had has been dampened down. We’ve tripped her up spiritually.
d. Let’s say I get into a heated discussion with a believer in my church about a secondary issue. Because I am so strong in my arguments, it leads that other person to go start studying how to prove himself right into such debates. His attention has been diverted from spiritual growth onto arguing skills and I’m the one responsible for the shift. I’ve tripped him up spiritually.
- The common denominator in all these is my concern is for proving myself right and trying to get everyone else to see things my way. I’m not really concerned about the impact I’m having on the other person.
- My focus is on “Am I right?” not on “Is he alright?”
- Going back to v. 13b, I need to pay attention to whether my actions and words is causing someone around me to be tripped up spiritually. Am I putting a stumbling block before someone?
- Verse 15b furthers the same point.
- The “by your eating” reference points us to an issue we’ve discussed in this sermon series: the concern they had back then for whether meat had been sacrificed to idols. There was a strong difference of opinion on whether it was acceptable to eat such meat. We can insert there any disputable matter.
- The word here is stronger than “tripping up” or “causing to stumble.” The word is “destroy.”
- There are a number of points to make off that, but let me limit myself to one. We don’t often think about the long-term damage we might cause from the argument we enjoy engaging in.
- But we all know of so many people who used to come to church, who used to walk with the Lord, who used to sit beside us in worship, who used to have a vibrant relationship with God – and now their spiritual lives have run into a ditch. In an uncomfortable number of those situations, the reason for that is the negative impact of someone else’s spiritual life. Now, certainly, it’s not always disputable matters. For instance, it might be blatant sinfulness of a Christian leader. But too many of them fall into this category. We’d never put it like this but the outcome sometimes is essentially, “I won the argument and all it cost was someone quitting church for 20 years!” Put in those terms, the high price is starkly revealed.
- There are so many people who no longer come to church because of the negative witness of a fellow believer. It’s so common that we cannot dismiss this point.
- Examples from NewPoint’s launch.
2. IF I'M DISTRESSING MY BROTHER OR SISTER IN CHRIST, AM I ACTING IN LOVE?
- Romans 14:15a.
- Here we again have the “eating meat” example, so let’s run with that. Some believers think it’s ok to eat meat; others don’t. I do whatever I want and cause someone in my church to be distressed about it. They’re troubled by my actions. Am I acting in love toward them? Not really.
- This creates a standard that’s worth thinking about. Am I distressing him or her? Am I bothering him or her?
- The reason I think this is worth pondering is because under the last point we talked about the damage that may eventually result. That damage isn’t visible in the here and now when things are happening. But their discomfort is. If we can see them getting uncomfortable or bothered or upset by what we’re saying, we need to pay attention to that.
- Some people love to distress others and then they brag, “I’m just honest – what can I say? Sorry if you were offended!” The truth is, though, that the core of what they’re being is not “honest” – it’s “unloving.”
- I am to act toward my brothers and sisters in Christ in a loving way. When I see that I’m distressing them, I’m not doing that.
- This is important to keep in mind in the heat of the moment concerning the arguments we have.
- Now, this doesn’t mean that I have to just go along with what others think and can’t have a mind of my own. This doesn’t mean I can’t have a mind of my own.
- Let’s direct our thoughts back to the first sermon in this series for a moment. You’ll remember that one of the points Paul makes here is that rather than focusing on arguing, instead each person should be fully convinced in his own mind. We went on to discuss how that means we should primarily talk to God about these issues rather than arguing with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
- So on these disputable matters, I shouldn’t be out there throwing around what I think and demanding that everyone else believe like I do. I can hold my thoughts and try to grow in my maturity with God. At the same time, I can encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ as well.
- Now there may be some times when my belief is in public and I need to talk to my brother or sister about it. Even then, how I speak about it makes a huge difference. I can go to them in a loving, conciliatory manner and try to encourage them as well.
- I don’t want to be arrogant in throwing out my beliefs and then laughing a self-centered laugh when a brother or sister struggles with that.
3. DO OUTSIDERS SEE THE DAMAGE I'VE CAUSED?
- Romans 14:16.
- This is a challenging verse to interpret, but let’s dig in.
- What does this sentence mean?
- When we are only considering ourselves and focusing on what I want and what I believe, we inevitably end up with disagreements with our fellow believers. If we’re all trying to prove how right we are, it’s going to end up in an argument. You’ll remember we discussed this a couple sermons ago when I talked about proving your point versus proving your love. When we are focused on proving our point and therefore we are getting into arguments, the church is not a great witness. So the point he is making here about “what you consider good” is referring to all the theological and spiritual beliefs we have that we hold dear. Those things we hold dear, though, can end up being “spoken of as evil” if the world only hears us arguing with each other, missing the beauty of the truths we might be talking about because the tone of dismissal and disdain is too loud.
- It is in some ways the height of irony to say that our goal is to see people come to know Jesus and then have what we say about Jesus (or the way we say what we say about Jesus) push people away from Jesus!
- The goal is not to talk about Christ stuff. The goal is to be Christlike. And that includes how we talk about Christ stuff.
HOW TO BE MORE ENCOURAGING TO OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST:
1. BEING SPIRITUALLY STRONG MEANS PROTECTING, NOT DEMANDING.
- Romans 15:1-2.
- There is a caricature of a “mature Christian” that most of us could think of an example of. He’s a deacon or a preacher, maybe. He’s powerful within his local church. And because he sees himself as a leader of that church, he is adamant about doing things his way. He’s been around a long time and he knows best. And when a newer believer suggests something that isn’t the way he likes to do things, he quickly and forcefully bats it aside. He’s the “mature Christian,” so they need to do things his way!
- His attitude is straightforward: I’m the mature Christian so we need to do things my way!
- Romans 15:1-2 teach us that attitude gets things almost exactly backward.
- We are taught here that the strong believers are to “bear with the failings of the weak.” We are to protect them and be considerate of them and want to make sure they don’t stumble.
- We should want to build him up.
- Being spiritually strong means protecting, not demanding.
- Now, let me be clear, the passage here is about disputable matters, not about core doctrine and belief. So if a new believer comes to me as the pastor and says, “I’m uncomfortable with you preaching that there is a heaven and a hell, so I’d like you to stop it,” that’s not something I can agree to. Certainly I want to try to compassionately sit down with the new believer and try to walk him through those ideas and why they’re important and why they’re wonderful. But if he still says, “My mom died 20 years ago and she never knew Jesus and I don’t like the thought that she might be in hell, so quit preaching about heaven and hell,” that’s not something I can agree to.
- What might this look like if we lived it out correctly? Let me give two examples:
a. What songs to sing in worship.
- There is a newer believer in the church who really gets a lot of our Chris Tomlin songs. They speak to her deeply. She attends a church that pretty much does hymns. She asks one of the church leaders if they could maybe do some newer songs. He doesn’t like the newer songs. He’s been around forever. But he doesn’t first ask, “What do I want?” Instead he first asks, “What would help this new believer?”
b. Drinking alcohol.
- I shared in the first sermon in this series about why I choose not to drink. I think I have a Biblical right to drink in moderation. But I do not want to trip up a newer believer who might see me drink and think I’m a hypocrite for that. Now, this might be a different situation in a different culture, but in our culture it’s an issue.
- I am putting the new believer first.
2. OUR GOAL IS A UNIFIED FAMILY, HONORING GOD.
- Romans 15:5-6.
- Romans 14:19.
- Looking at Romans 15:5-6, we get a clear picture of the goal here. Pieces of these verses:
a. We need God to give us endurance and encouragement as we deal with each other.
b. We want to have a spirit of unity within the church, not divisions or factions.
c. We are all supposed to be following Jesus.
d. When all this is in place, we should have one heart and mouth.
e. All of that leads to us glorifying the Father and Son.
- What a beautiful picture of what the church should be.
- Looking at Romans 14:19, we get the encouragement that this should be a priority. “Make every effort” makes it sound pretty important.
