Sermon - The Building Blocks of A Happy Home
Scripture: Proverbs 24:3-4 “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.”
Introduction: With so much division in the world, you may wonder, can anything be done? Today, many families seem to be falling apart and the world has become a very angry place. Reading a recent article on The Ten Building Blocks for a Happy Family, Jim Burns, the president of Home Word, suggest ten ingredients for building a happy home:
1. Be there for your kids. Your children regard your presence as a sign of caring and connectedness (even when they don’t seem to do so!) Presence provides kids with a greater sense of security than almost any other quality parents can offer.
2. Express affection, warmth, and encouragement. Families with a sense of A.W.E. – as opposed to shame-based parenting – is a home where children and spouses will feel more secure.
3. Build healthy morals and values. The decisions kids make today will often affect them for the rest of their lives. Parents have significant powers of influence – through modeling and teaching – over the morals and values their kids carry into adulthood!
4. Discipline with consistency. Clearly expressed expectations and consistent follow-through produce responsible kids. Make your goal of discipline one of teaching kids responsibility not evoking obedience.
5. Ruthlessly eliminate stress. The unbalanced life will not be kind to the areas we neglect. Parents must make the difficult decisions of reducing the effect of our culture’s breathless pace on their family.
6. Communication is key. Positive communication is the language of love for our children. Parents must take the initiative to set the tone for family communication – which includes the important skill of listening.
7. Play is necessary for a close-knit family. There is nothing like play to bring about family togetherness and communication. Play builds family memories, reduces family stress and produces support and affirmation.
8. Love your spouse. A loving marriage brings hope and security to your children. At times, this means putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your children’s needs.
9. Let your life reflect the understanding that the best things in life are not things. Healthy stewardship and financial decisions produce positive family priorities.
10. Energize your family’s spiritual growth. Your greatest calling in life is to leave a spiritual legacy for your children. Pay close attention to your own spiritual health and model a healthy spirituality for your family.
What a great list of suggestions. Our text from Proverbs is pointing us to the good life. Solomon is not interested only in helping individuals construct a building to eat and sleep in, as important as that is. Instead, the word house is used to represent a happy home, a good family, a sweet life. If a happy home and good family are built on wisdom, that is a willingness to align our lives with what God’s word says, the results will be beautiful, and life will be sweet. What are some principles that God tells us in these verses?
First, a home must be built. A beautiful family doesn’t just happen. Creating a good home takes work. The person who thinks they will not have to work at building a happy home is in for a rude awakening. The phrase, “And they all lived happily ever after” only happens in the movies. Any good home must be built and established. This is a great beginning, but a loving happy home takes effort, perseverance, and skill.
Second, to build a home, you need an understanding of the plan. The text says, “by understanding it is established.” You need to know in your mind what it will look like. Wise house builders start with a blueprint. Otherwise, they are just building haphazardly.
Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.
Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding
Thankfully, God’s word provides a plan for what godly relationships will look like in a good family. Yes, each house is unique to its builders and decorators. But all well-built houses follow the same principles.
Similarly, not every godly family looks alike. There are many differences in culture, family of origin, and values. However, godly homes must practice similar biblical principles. Every family needs a head, every family needs to practice humility, every family needs loving cooperation and every family member need to value one another. If the family members trust the Lord’s good design, they will build a home that honors the Lord and that values one another. Families who ignore God’s design will have trouble. Allow God’s word to be your rock, all other ground is sinking sand. There are some cheaper ways to build, but it is more costly in the end. (Jesus’s parable on building) Matthew 7:26-27 “And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.” Sand may be cheaper and faster, but it will not withstand the storm.
Third, to build a home you need to have the right tools and the right skills. Just having the right plans is not enough. A natural house is built nail by nail, brick by brick. Solid building plans with the required skills and tools is necessary. It requires perseverance. It means putting in quality work that is not visible when the house is finished. But the person constructing the house knows it is well-built. So, pour in the love, confidence, and acceptance early on, it will pay dividends later in life. Do you remember the 3 little pigs tale? "The Three Little Pigs" is a fable about three pigs who build their houses of different materials. A Big Bad Wolf blows down the first two pigs' houses which are made of straw and sticks respectively but is unable to destroy the third pig's house that is made of bricks. Bricks were more expensive, and progress was slower, but it withstood the pressure of the storm. Storms will blow against every home.
I recently helped a friend finish our kitchen floor with ceramic tile. He had tools and skills I don’t have. Even more importantly, I watched him do quality work that is now hidden. Only he and I know about what a good job he did under the tile.
Similarly, God’s word can give us the wisdom to understand His plan, the skill to communicate His plan to others, the grace to forgive one another and the love to help one another get up and move on. God’s grace helps us overcome our natural tendency to self-centeredness. God’s people, His church are here to walk with us and coach us through the ups and downs of this journey. How sad it is that many have chose to walk away from the help God has provided.
Fourth, as you build your home, don’t worry about those who are not building according to God’s plan. We live in a culture where many are attempting to build their homes and live their lives apart from God’s good design. There are sandcastle builders on every side. Many do not realize that the tide is coming in. Sometimes they flaunt a new method of building as the way. At other times, they are naively building according to their own wisdom. It never crosses their minds they need the wisdom of God to build a good home. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In the same way, a house can look good on the outside for a while. What looked good on the outside may not pass a rigorous inspection. After our home church was remodeled, we had a great celebration. Everyone marveled at how beautiful it was, until we had the first storm. After the first year, a few shingles blew off. Then more shingles came down. The contractor refused to do anything because the one-year warranty was gone. The Insurance company refused to pay the claim because of poor workmanship. The church was stuck with repairs. It looked good but the quality was lacking.
Similarly, many families can present a good front to others. But often they are not building their relationship with the Lord’s tools. Although this may be hidden for a while, it eventually comes out. The many homes that are collapsing today are evidence that some relationships were not being built according to the Lord’s wisdom or plan.
Fifth, a beautiful home needs maintenance. “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.” Many houses had not kept up with the maintenance. And while maintenance can be deferred for a year or two, eventually, all these items have an effect on the house. In Ecclesiastes 10:18 it says, “Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house.”
In the same way, good relationships need maintenance. Neglect your relationship with the Lord, and your spiritual life starts to leak. Neglect relationships in your family and the love starts to leak, your fellowship starts to sag. Your family starts to scatter. You see, it is not just enough to have a good start, but a godly family requires constant attention even as we become busy with other demands on our lives. Too much deferred maintenance will lead to problems. What we see in the culture may be the results of neglected maintenance.
Similarly, in such a significant endeavor as building a happy home and the sweet life, it takes everyone in the house doing their part. Here is where we meet the reality of sin. Everything is not within our control, and everyone has their own mind. But remember working together works. You will need his forgiveness, his power, and his wisdom. Then cover your family in prayer.
By God’s wisdom a beautiful happy, godly home is built. You have worked hard over the years to come to this moment, we all are able to see the beautiful result of what God has done. Please know the best is yet to come. “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 24:3-4
I know there are wars and rumors of wars, disagreement and violence, and a society full of unrest. But all hope is not lost. You and I can change our personal world one relationship at a time, one family at a time. We must keep building on the rock of God’s word; by understanding and passing on Godly principles, and with knowledge we can fill our corner of the world with precious and pleasant richest. Please know that we are here today because the Lord is with us and will never leave us. God has called you, blessed you and is proud of you, He is happy with you and celebrates his great work in your life. You are in the best position to pass on your rich spiritual inheritance to your family. You can help them find the sweet life and the abundant life Jesus came to bring. “May The Lord bless you and keep you; May the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
