Where Are You?
Pt. 4 - Adulting
SERMON BUMPER
I. Introduction
I remember learning in school that there are a lot of types of question. There are loaded questions. There are leading questions. There are the ones we hated on tests . . . multiple choice questions. Let's not forget the type of questions I use all the time in preaching called rhetorical question. This type of question requires the person asking the question to make an assumption. The person posing the question assumes that the person being asked the question already or should already know the answer. One of the rhetorical questions I will never forget being asked as a child and that I swore I would never ask and then did is . . . "Do you want me to spank you?" My parents asked this knowing that the answer was already settled. No I don't want you to spank me so therefore, I will alter my actions or attitude so that you are not forced to spank me. Rhetorical questions are a great tool to help us snap back to reality and to become aware of what is happening. I think the first question God ever asked was a rhetorical question.
Text: Genesis 3:9 (NIV)
But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
Adam has messed up. He has gone from living openly and shamelessly before God to hiding in the bushes and so God asked a question that He knew the answer to and that I think He assumed Adam would know the answer to. I think He asks it to force Adam to admit and acknowledge the obvious . . . he wasn't where he once was and he wasn't where he should be. We have been asking that same question to start of this year as it relates to our spiritual journey. The truth is I think it is still a rhetorical question because unless we have lied to ourselves and fooled everyone around us in the process most of us should be able to answer somewhat accurately. However, I don't want us to assume that we know because that could be dangerous if it causes us to fail to grow and I think it is necessary to force us to honestly take stock and evaluate our own spiritual condition.
Where are you? We have identified that there are basically 4 stages in our journey of spiritual maturity. (SLIDE 3) Infant, Teen, Adult, Parent. Each stage is a necessary part of the journey. Each stage has some characteristics about them that we need to use to evaluate where we are in this journey. There is also an essential skill that is needed in each stage that enables us to move to the next stage. Until we develop, hone and operate in that skill we cannot move forward.
We are thankful for the infants in our midst. We love spiritual babies here. Don't stay a baby. We are thankful for the spiritual teens here. Don't stay a teen. In the natural you would look funny as a spiritual 40 year old wearing parachute pants or skinny jeans - or whatever it is that teens wear now. The same is true spiritually. We must continue to take steps forward. It is time to start adulting!
We are called to mature in faith throughout our lives. When you graduated as a 17 or 18 year old you may have moved away to go to school or work but the truth is there were still areas in your life where you had to mature!
Peter makes it abundantly clear that we never actually arrive in our maturity. Listen to what he says . . .
Text: 2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV)
“…Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
The Message version says "So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith . . ."
Add to your faith. Build on your basic faith. Increase in measure. That is the idea of growing up in our faith.
None of us are granted instantaneous Christ-like lives the minute we believe in Jesus as our Lord. We are responsible for growth.
God wants spiritual maturity/growth for you but He won’t do it for you. Noah it is going to rain now build an ark for yourself so you can survive. We must participate in our survival by growing.
One of the concepts that moves us from teen to adult is that we add to our faith. We master the basics. We become more adept at the walk. So, now we add to our walk. We don't stagnate. We don't stay in rut. We handle more! This is often where we also identify what isn't right or isn’t working correctly in our faith and we mature enough to admit it and address it by finding a solution. Seeking counsel. Adulting requires increasing in measure. Not decreasing in measure.
Dr. Erik Erikson, in 1958, developed what he called the 8 stages of Psychosocial Development. I don't have time to deal with all of the stages he lists. He did say that "according to the theory, successful completion of each stage results in a healthy personality and the acquisition of basic virtues. Basic virtues are characteristic strengths which the ego can use to resolve subsequent crises. Failure to successfully complete a stage can result in a reduced ability to complete further stages and therefore a more unhealthy personality and sense of self."
In Stage 6, he said the adult stage has 1 of 2 descriptors intimacy or isolation. I think he is right in the natural and I also believe that in the spiritual journey he is correct. One of the ways we know that people have graduated from teen to adult in their spiritual walk is that they have matured enough to handle community/body with all of its challenges, conflicts and disappointments. If we don't deal with the crisis in the teen stages of our journey, then when we graduate to the adult stage we often opt for isolation to our own demise! I say to our own demise because if you opt for isolation, then you can never graduate from that place of isolation to the final stage of spiritual maturity which is parenting. For some of you in the room today, you have reached the highest level of maturity you will ever reach until you learn to deal with community. This will require you to get out of your comfort zone. It will require you to operate in grace. It will require you to let down your guard. It will require you to heal from any pain you experienced in your past. A lot of times (remember I am one) we want to blame our inability to do community on things like being introverted or being independent (I'm grown - I don't need anybody. All I need is Jesus) when the truth is we just didn't learn the lessons on how to operate in community in a healthy way when were spiritual teenagers. So, we remain isolated in suspicion, anger, mistrust and like a teen we are awkward! We fail to embrace the body life that Scripture clearly outlines as beneficial and necessary for us! Intimacy is available as an adult. We must choose it. We must grow into it! We must take that step. It is our choice.
This is why Paul states in 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV), “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
Notice Paul says he made the choice to put childish ways behind him. It was a conscious decision and choice on his part. That is what adults do!
Here are the characteristics of an adult.
Pay/pave their own way. Although they may need help at times, they work for what they need and they walk their own way. They are . . .
Responsible. They can handle more. Don't expect a child or a teen to be able to cope, deal with or handle what an adult can handle.
Wants solid food. Adults begin to think about and pay attention to their diet and how it effects health.
Disciplined. Not tossed to and fro. Don't chase the shiny.
Cleans up after themselves. Own the consequences and refuse to lay the blame on others.
They know who they are. They have dealt with insecurities in their teenage years and don't allow those to follow them into every other stage. Their worth is found in Christ! No longer controlled or control by feelings/emotions.
Has a vision. This is why graduation prompts the questions . . . "What are your plans? What are you going to do?" An adult knows where they are going and have a plan to get there.
- Maturity begins with a vision
- Maturity grows one goal at a time.
- Maturity requires occasional assessment
So, the essential skill to enter and operate well as an adult spiritually is . . .
An adult must LEVERAGE!
Paul is dealing with a young Timothy and he tells him in 1 Timothy 4 - Set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift,
Then he makes this statement to a young man who is trying to adult.
1 Timothy 4:15?Put these abilities to work; throw yourself into your tasks so that everyone may notice your improvement and progress.
He is essence saying leverage all of the basics you have been learning and listening to. Master them. Practice them. Own them. Grow in them. It is as you leverage this stuff and as you actually put what you have learned and heard into practice in your own life that you adult.
In other words, we know enough to win. We may not know everything we want to know but we know enough to win. We adult when we execute on what we know. We adult when all the seeds that have been sown into us are allowed to produce fruit! This is why the Word tells us that we know each other by our fruit. This is no longer just repeating what I learned. This is no longer just regurgitating what I heard. This is the fruit of my life. I am leveraging all of that and it is producing change in me that is visible and tangible. We adult when we begin to live what we have learned. We adult when we begin to live what we have heard.
Adulting = Actually Living it!
So, as I said one of the traits of an adult is that they have vision and part of having a vision is to constantly access where you are in the process. This is a biblical concept. 2 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT) Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves.
I remind you that the standard is not someone else other than Jesus. It isn't the person on the row next to you.
2 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV)?We do not dare to classify ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
So, here we are at the testing moment. There is still one week left when we will discuss what I believe is the most desperately needed level of spiritual maturity. But let's stop and make sure we actually have a clear understanding of where we are in the journey.
I remind you that in order for this test to reveal accurately you cannot operate in isolation. You must take this test and then allow someone who is really intimate with you and who will be honest about you to also take the test about you and compare the answers so that you get a very precise and clear understanding of where you are.
