- Sermon series: “How to Disagree.” Last week we established that there are disputable matters, which is an important category to understand. There may be theological issues about which sincere believers can have honest disagreement.
- Having established that, we move today onto the next logical subject: how do we treat those believers that we disagree with?
HOW WE NORMALLY HANDLE THEOLOGICAL DISAGREEMENTS WITH OTHER BELIEVERS: I’ve got it figured out and you’re an idiot.
- This, of course, is the overarching ethos of far too many arguments between Christians. Each is fully convinced of their truth and righteousness and is absolutely dumbfounded that anyone would have the audacity to disagree with them.
- What you end up with at a practical level is two people arguing past each other. Neither is really listening – they’re just waiting for a pause long enough to start telling you what they think. They’re not listening to learn; they’re listening to reply.
- At one level, this is a joke: two believers arguing to prove how right they are. But at a deeper level, there is a lot of damage done by these kinds of fights. Among the damage:
a. Many unbelievers hear these displays and think, “I don’t want any part of the church if this is how they treat each other.”
b. Believers can come to believe that it’s a spiritual productive activity to prove how right you are and think that they are doing Kingdom work when they do.
c. Believers can think that the point of gaining Biblical knowledge is to be able to prove how right you are, rather than growing to be more Christlike.
HOW GOD WANTS US TO HANDLE THEOLOGICAL DISAGREEMENTS WITH OTHER BELIEVERS: Accept him.
- Romans 14:1, 3a.
- Start with “accept” (v. 1).
- Not argue with him, not prove him wrong, not excommunicate him, not look sidelong at him as questionable, not condemn him. Accept him.
- What’s that mean, exactly, to “accept him”? I think it’s really simple: you treat him like a brother in Christ. You accept him as part of the family.
a. But his view is immature.
- It says “accept the weak.”
- v. 1.
- It’s easy to respond to the call to accept the brother we disagree with by objecting and saying, “But his view is immature.”
- That response doesn’t hold, though, because Paul specifically says to accept the one whose faith is “weak.”
- Now, what’s that mean, that someone’s faith is weak? It’s an interesting way to put it because it could go in a variety of directions.
- To use the example here, let’s talk about vegetables. This issue means nothing to us. Back then, though, some believers didn’t want to eat meat that had been sacrificed to idols; others would. What was the thinking in each direction? The one eating only vegetables would say, “I don’t want to eat the meat sacrificed to idols because it’s been contaminated in some sense by that action.” The one who was ok eating that meat would say, “Those idols aren’t real so it didn’t actually change anything about the meat, so it’s ok to eat.” The one eating only vegetables might say, “Those other guys are weak because they’re not concerned enough about those who are sacrificing to idols to be willing to abstain.” Those eating the meat might say, “Those other guys are weak because nothing really changed there but they are acting like something did.”
- The point is simple: we all tend to think the person who disagrees with us is weak in their faith. If only they understood things like we do!
b. If he’s weak, can I at least look down at him? No, v. 3 says not to look down.
- v. 3.
- Even if I accept all of that, there is still a part of me that would like the feeling of superiority that comes with knowing how right I am. So I might look at the one I disagree with and think, “I’ll accept him, that poor stupid idiot.”
- But v. 3 tells us not to condemn him. That isn’t too difficult. But it also tells us not to look down on him. That part is more difficult. I’m not supposed to think of him as lesser than me.
- This, I think, is most difficult when you get into the mental part of it. We might not find it incredibly difficult to act civilly toward that person but in our mind we might hold onto the thought that we’re being nice to someone who is less insightful or mature than we are. We’re being gracious to someone lesser than us.
- No, we’re not supposed to look down on them.
- How can I do that? How can I accept him like that? That leads us to the next point.
HOW CAN I ACCEPT HIM IF HE'S WRONG? Because God has.
- Romans 14:3b.
- We struggle with accepting those with whom we disagree for a whole host of reasons. We might not trust them. Or we might think they’re leading people astray. Or we might like showing we’re right. Or we might think we’re standing up for God by rejecting anyone who doesn’t stand for truth like us.
- So we struggle with accepting the one who holds different beliefs than us.
- How can I accept him if he’s wrong (according to me) on several issues? It really simple: because God has.
- If they are a Christian, God has accepted him, right? If God has accepted him, shouldn’t I do the same?
- Now, it’s worth pausing here to note some details of what we’re discussing. As we referred to last week, we’re talking here about disputable matters. That is, issues in Christianity that are not of primary importance. We are not talking, for instance, about someone who says they’re a Christian but denies that Jesus came in the flesh or that He really died or that the Bible is God’s Word. Those are deal breakers because they are central issues, not disputable matters.
- So let’s pick a relatively simple example. You’re a Baptist and you have a Pentecostal co-worker. They believe in speaking in tongues and do it in worship on a regular basis. You’ve studied the Scriptures and don’t think that spiritual gift is operational for today. In fact, it really bugs you when they talk about that because you feel like they’re saying something that doesn’t match the Bible. How can you accept him? Because God has. You might disagree on that issue but you know that he loves Jesus and is trying to serve him through his life. You would acknowledge that his faith in Jesus is sincere and that He believes Jesus was born, died, and resurrected. To say it another way, you believe that they are a Christian, even though you disagree on speaking in tongues. Alright then, if God has accepted him in the family of God and, even if he’s wrong on speaking in tongues, hasn’t kicked him out of the family for that, then why can’t you accept him? If he’s a Christian and therefore God has accepted him, you should accept him too.
- [Note: next week’s sermon will get into God being the final judge, so don’t get into that here.]
A HELPFUL ENCOURAGEMENT ABOUT HIM: He is doing what he is doing for the Lord.
- Romans 14:6.
- Let’s talk about one way to think more highly of your brother in Christ that you disagree with.
- Verse 6 reminds us that what they are doing, they are doing for the Lord. We can get so caught up in the theological differences and wanting to prove ourselves right that we distracted from why they’re doing what they’re doing.
- It’s worth pausing for a moment from our desire to argue and think about what they’re doing.
- Let’s return for a moment to some of the examples of disputable matters I shared last week:
a. What songs to sing in worship.
- Maybe they only want old hymns. But it’s because it reminds them of the long years of faithfulness they’ve experienced in the Lord. They might not be your favorite but they’re singing to the Lord.
- Or maybe they want new praise choruses. It’s because those songs speak meaningfully to their heart in a way that lifts them toward the Lord. They might not be your favorite but they’re singing to the Lord.
b. Public school, private school, or homeschooling.
- Whichever option they choose, let’s presume they’ve thought it through and have a good thought behind why they are doing that. If so, then they are trying to do what’s best for their child to grow up to love the Lord.
c. Tattoos.
- If they don’t think getting a tattoo is prohibited Biblically, maybe what they are getting inked is a Bible verse or a symbol that reminds them of someone meaningful in their life. So their motive is to permanently show on their body something that really means something spiritually deep to them.
d. What we just discussed: speaking in tongues.
- Maybe I don’t agree that speaking in tongues is for today, but it’s worth stopping to think about why he is doing that. It’s because he believes it is ok for today and it’s a way for him to express his love for God and closeness to God. Even though we might disagree on the theological point, I should be able to see that his actions there come from a desire to be as close to God and as in-tune with the Holy Spirit as possible.
THE HIGHER PRIORITY: Proving your love over proving your point.
- Romans 14:20.
- This provides a nice summary of a lot of what has been said up to this point. Let’s unpack v. 20 to make the point.
- First of all, it talks about the “work of God.” What is the work of God? It’s the believers you see all around you and what God is doing in them. That’s the work of God!
- That’s an incredible thought and one that’s crucial for our subject this morning.
- First, it’s incredible to think that we are the work of God. That we are the primary thing He is building in the world today. It’s an important truth for us to remember when we consider how to spend our lives: we should focus on pouring our lives into the people around us, rather than pursuing position, power, or possessions.
- Second, it’s important on the point we’re making this morning. If people are the “work of God,” then if I destroy my brother’s faith in order to prove I’m right, what does God think of that? If people are the “work of God,” then if I never encourage anyone because I’m so busy policing their beliefs, what does God think of that?
- Our focus is supposed to be on people coming to know Christ and people becoming more like Christ. Again, that people are the “work of God.” If, on the other hand, what we do impedes their growth or discourages their faith or pushes people away from faith, that’s a serious error on our part.
- I’m not supposed to be focused on proving to everyone at every opportunity that I’m right. Rather, I’m supposed to prove my love to those around me.
- How can I pray for them?
- How can I encourage them?
- How can I praise what they’re doing right?
- How can I comfort them in their struggles?
- How can I partner with them in serving?
- How can I share with them what I have to offer?
- I want them to know that I love them and am lifting them up, not that I have argued so long and hard that I’ve shown I’m right.
HOW FAR DO I TAKE THAT? It’s better to inconvenience yourself rather than trip up a fellow believer.
- Romans 14:21.
- This is a challenging teaching and it’s our closing point this morning.
- Verse 21 tells us how far to take it.
- Rather than proving I’m right and asserting my spiritual intelligence and getting everyone else to do what I said is the best option, instead I should be willing to give up my preferred option if it avoids tripping up another believer.
- This is one of the most misunderstood points on this whole issue. So often we believe that the most mature believer is the one who vociferously argues for their viewpoint and stands firm to get everyone to do things their way. The stereotype might be the small church deacon chair who demands that everything be their way because they know best.
- In contrast, this verse presents us with a different vision of maturity. The most mature Christian is not the one who demands that they always get things their way because they know more than everyone else. No, it’s the one who is the most concerned about their weaker brother in Christ and wants to do all he can to make sure his brother doesn’t get tripped up.
- This is a very different vision of Christian maturity.
