Intro
Self-awareness is a part of the human experience. Managing our inner consciousness of self can be challenging. Watch a young toddler. At times, he will act out of sense of confidence, maybe even over confidence. At other times, he will withdraw out of a sense of shame or fear of embarrassment. Self-awareness is a fact of life. How do we manage it so that we grow as a person and enjoy a fulfilling and meaningful life? Some people are more aware of this issue than others. But it is an issue for every one of us.
The Bible offers counsel on how to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Alternatively, the world has its own counsel on the matter. Interestingly, most of us have encountered in the church a mixture of the ideas. In Colossians 2:8, Paul cautioned Christians about the influence of worldly concepts: “Don't let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the evil powers of this world, and not from Christ” (NLT). Human thinking can be very appealing to our natural minds. It can easily lead us astray if we are not staying in the Word of God and listening to his counsel.
Our in-depth study of the Beatitudes has heightened my awareness of how the Gospel of Self-Esteem is robbing people of God’s best. The attraction of the Gospel of Self-Esteem is that it offers some relief from our insecurities and low opinions of ourselves. We want to feel good about ourselves. We know that if we are thinking right about ourselves, we can function more effectively in life. What is commonly referred to as low self-esteem can impair our ability to relate to others and accomplish meaningful goals.
However, we must realize is that the world’s solution to that problem is very different from God’s solution. And trying to mix the two does not work either. It is like mixing oil and water. In 2 Corinthians, Paul was addressing some of the deception that teachers had injected into the church there. He wrote, “But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (2 Cor. 11:3 NIV). Something about the teaching was leading them astray so that their focus and devotion was being turned from Christ to something else. The next verse implies that these teachers were preaching “another Jesus” or “another gospel.” Here is what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 11:4: “For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough” (NIV). They were receiving those messages and substituting them for the pure gospel of Christ. Paul’s message kept the focus on Christ and salvation through his atoning death.
In 1 Corinthians 2, Paul was confronting those who were moving away from the simple gospel of Christ. In verse 2, he made a clear statement about where he kept the focus: “For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified” (NKJV). In the previous chapter, he confronted the tendency to move away from that central message toward man’s wisdom: “For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, 24 but to those who are
called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God” (1 Cor 1:22-24 NKJV). The problem people were having with the true gospel was its focus on the cross. That was a stumbling block for the Jews; it did not fit their concept of Messiah. And it was foolishness to the Greeks/gentiles because it was not based on human reasoning. But Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:24 the real gospel carries in it the power of God, the power to meet your needs, and the wisdom of God, the counsel as to how to meet those needs.
So, in Paul’s day and in our day, there is a competition of ideas, even in the church. On the one
hand, Paul was preaching the simple message of Jesus Christ and him crucified. On the other
hand, others were teaching the philosophies of men and passing that off as a better gospel.
In this message, I am cautioning you about alternative messages that do not square with the New
Testament. I am cautioning against mixing the world’s wisdom with the simplicity that is found
in devotion to Christ. Specifically, I am addressing a Gospel of Self-Esteem that competes with
the Gospel of Jesus Christ and him crucified.
I will first share what I mean by the Gospel of Self-Esteem. I will then compare that with
Scripture and highlight some of the problems with that system of thinking.
The Gospel of Self-Esteem
The Gospel of Self-Esteem offers a solution to what is commonly called low self-esteem. Low
self-esteem is a state of mind in which the person feels bad about himself, struggles with
insecurities and sees himself as inferior. It is primarily about the feelings associated with self-perception.
i
The Gospel of Self-Esteem offers its own answer to that problem. And when a person is led
down this path, they usually get some temporary relief. If that were not happening, the
movement would soon lose its momentum. But the temporary relief is much like that which the
false prophets of Jeremiah’s day were administering. In Jeremiah 6:13-14 God said, “And from
the prophet even to the priest, Everyone deals falsely. 14 They have also healed the hurt of My
people slightly, Saying, 'Peace, peace!' When there is no peace” (NKJV). A person must be right
with God and others for there to be real peace in the soul (Isa. 57:21). But feelings follow
thought. So, if a person is led to think positive about himself (whether that is warranted or not),
he will get some temporary relief from the negative feelings. But just because he feels better,
does not mean all is well from God’s perspective.
The Gospel of Self-Esteem incorporates concepts developed by humanistic psychologists. For
example, the famous psychologist Carl Rogers believed that “the individual possesses a ‘selfactualizing’
tendency, something like an innate homing device that directs us so that intuitively
we know the path that will lead us to self-actualization or fulfillment.”ii The theory does not say
God knows the path we should take and will lead us into fulfillment if we follow his lead. The
power to find fulfillment rests within the individual soul. All the person has to do is look inside and follow their own inclinations.
In Roger’s theory, this process of discovery gets disrupted when significant others do not give us unconditional acceptance. Then we start feeling bad about ourselves and have to work past those negative thoughts. The unconditional acceptance “is accepting the person as he is, not necessarily requiring change.”iii
Imagine how a person who has bought into this thinking will react to a biblical call for repentance. Instead of acknowledging the sin and turning from it, the person is thinking the call to repentance is disturbing his capacity to reach self-actualization or fulfillment. In other words, Roger’s system of thinking injects a barrier in the mind to repentance.iv That makes it difficult to lead the person into repentance. Instead of acknowledging their own sin, they are thinking the messenger is wrong for not accepting them unconditionally. So, you can see how this undermines biblical evangelism. But it undermines the Christian’s spiritual progress as well. When there is sin in my life as a believer, progress is only made when I acknowledge it and turn from it.
Paul Brownback made this observation about Roger’s philosophy: “The heart of his theory is that I know what is best for me. No one else does, and no one should try to tell me or to influence me. He should only show me respect and support.” This mindset is completely self-centered with a strong emphasis on my unconditional lovability.”v The lovability is simply based on me being human and my performance has nothing to do with it. For Rogers, “unconditional self-love or unconditional self-acceptance is the ultimate trigger that releases the self-actualizing tendency. Therefore, not only may I love myself, but it is a must, a necessity for fulfillment.”vi
I have only touched upon Roger’s theories. But you can see that it is based on humanism and supports a philosophy of relativism. Whatever feels right for me, is right. There are no absolutes. My guidelines for fulfillment are in me, not in a book called the Bible. The emphasis is that I must love myself and follow my own inclinations. You can see how this would appeal to the carnal mind.
Evangelical writers have gathered from Rogers and other humanistic thinkers to produce multitudes of self-help books to enable people to fix themselves and feel good about themselves. The theories come from ungodly humanists who consider man as the ultimate, not God. The evangelical writers use a few proof texts, throw a little God-talk in the mix, and market it as valid Christianity: the Gospel of Self-Esteem.
Not everyone who uses the term self-esteem is preaching the Gospel of Self-Esteem. Esteem in this context simply means “to regard in which one is held.”vii “Self-esteem” is a commonly used English term. The Gospel of Self-Esteem incorporates philosophies taught by Rogers and other secular psychologists and turns the focus from Christ to self. In the Gospel of Self-Esteem emphasis is on feelings rather than truth, and faith shifts from Christ and his transforming discipleship path to faith in myself and in my worth.
Here are a few of Bible texts that are twisted and used to support the Gospel of Self-Esteem.
? Matthew 22:39: “'You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (NKJV).
The logic in the Gospel of Self-Esteem begins with the assumption that Jesus is telling people they must love themselves. The reasoning is that we cannot love our neighbor as ourselves if we do not first love ourselves. So, we must first focus on self. We must work on loving ourselves. Then we can start loving our neighbor.viii
That is a strange twist of the text. If Jesus had intended that, especially with the emphasis given to it by self-love advocates, he would have said something like. “There are three great commandments. (1) Love yourself (2) Love God and (3) Love your neighbor. The starting point in the Gospel of Self-Esteem is loving oneself. The logic given for that is that you cannot give what you do not have. So first of all, you must love yourself. Work on that. Of course, any self-absorbed creature will immediately accept that reasoning and turn his efforts on loving himself.
However, a natural reading of the text does not give three commandments because only two are needed. You do love yourself. You don’t have to be told to do that. In fact, the problem is that you are consumed with a love for self. Instead of just loving yourself, you need to love God with all that is in you and love your neighbor the same way you already love yourself. Jesus is not trying to get people to love themselves, he is trying to get them to love others like they already love themselves.
? Psalm 139:14 is another favorite: “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (NKJV).
The Gospel of Self-Esteem calls on the reader to celebrate himself as an awesome creature. Their message from this text is: “You should feel so good about yourself. This verse should boost your self-esteem. Use it that way.”
But when you read that verse in context, it is not about celebrating ourselves. It is about celebrating God for his marvelous works. It is a call to worship God, not self. “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” In 1 Corinthians 1:31 we are instructed: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord” (NIV).
? John 3:16 is also quoted by the self-love movement: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (NKJV).
The Gospel of Self-Esteem weighs the value of Christ and his sacrifice, then says we must be extremely valuable for God to be willing to pay such a high price for our redemption. The assumption is that God knows a bargain when he sees it, and he has made a good deal. They understand the verse to be about how valuable we are.
But that is not the point of the verse. The point of the verse is “For God so loved.” The point is not “For you are so loveable.” The verse is declaring the goodness God to provide a way of salvation for sinners. God paid the price because of his love, not because our worth compelled him to do it. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast” (Eph. 2:8-9 NKJV).
Problems Associated with the Gospel of Self-Esteem
Here are a few of the problems in the Gospel of Self-Esteem, This is why we must view it with extreme caution even if Christian leaders are preaching it.
1. This is “another gospel” that presents itself as an alternative to the way of salvation in the Bible. The secular psychologists offer it as a way to reach self-actualization or fulfillment. The salvation being offered is that the person becomes a great human being and in reaching that goal enjoys a sense of personal fulfillment. It is an alternative to the transformation that occurs through faith in Christ. It is ultimately faith in self. Those who offer this in Christianity offer it as compatible with biblical salvation. They may believe you must be born again. But after that, you need to rescue yourself from low self-esteem. And you do that by following these humanistic principles. Instead of taking up your cross, denying yourself, and following Christ (Matt. 16:24), you affirm yourself and find self-satisfaction by following your own inner inclinations.
2. This belief system for all practical purposes ignores the impact of sin and focuses on self-perception. The worth of an individual is celebrated based on the fact that he has been created in the image of God. There is enough truth in the theory to make it attractive. We know that God gave to man dignity by creating him in his own image. Genesis 1:27 tells us that. But Adam’s sin in Genesis 2 marred that image so that man needs a transformation through Christ. In fact, sin so changed humanity that, rather than being worthy of eternal life, he is worthy of death and destruction—for the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23). In his fallen state, his heart is deceitful and desperately wicked (Jer. 17:9). It is not a reliable guide toward fulfillment.
3. This belief system points the person in the wrong direction for fulfillment. It turns the person inward in a quest to love self, more and more and more. But the problem is not that we do not love self enough. The problem is that we are so self-absorbed that we fail to love God in the way he deserves and in the way that brings true fulfillment. The problem is that we love self so much that we fail to love our neighbor as we should.
The exhortations in Scripture are not that we must love ourselves more. The Bible tells us to deny ourselves and love others more. For example, Philippians 2:3 commands, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (NKJV).
Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives. It doesn’t exhort them to love themselves more. They are to love their spouse. In fact, verse 29 says, “no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it” (NKJV). Self-love is a fact of nature. The passage does not even say, “Love yourself more so that you can love your wife more.” The force of the argument is that by loving your wife you are demonstrating that your love for yourself is proper; it is not excessive and warped.
The caution in Romans 12:3 is that we would not think “too highly” of ourselves. The self-love movement would reverse that and caution against thinking “too lowly” of ourselves. People sometimes think they hate themselves because they have feelings of angst against themselves. In reality, they feel that angst because they think too highly of themselves and are self-absorbed. They are so focused on themselves that the flaws are magnified and extremely disturbing. That’s an oversimplification of the problem, but to say they just don’t love themselves enough is not only an oversimplification but points in the wrong direction for the solution. The solution is biblically found in repentance and faith in Christ. It is not found in trying to feel better about myself.
When a person embraces the biblical truth of being crucified in Christ, he is not haunted with those feelings (Gal. 2:20). He does not expect anything out of a dead self. Paul said in Romans 7:18, “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells” (NKJV). Paul has reconciled himself to that reality. He is not searching and searching to find something good in his carnal nature. It has been corrupted by sin. The only thing that can be done is for it to be crucified with Christ so that the believer can be raised a new creature in Christ wherein dwells righteousness.
So here is an essential flaw in the Gospel of Self-Esteem. The person is looking and looking at himself trying to declare it all good and trying to find fulfillment in himself. This inward orientation exalts the flesh which can never be the source of assurance and fulfillment. Biblical fulfillment is found by reckoning self dead and thereby living in Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 6:11). The Bible solution is not to esteem our carnal selves more highly. The Bible solution is to esteem it dead and worthless. And in doing that live a life in full dependence on God and for his glory. These subjects are so vast that I can only touch upon them in this brief message.
4. The Gospel of Self-Esteem leads to an “inward” orientation. Biblical love leads to an “other” orientation. God is not a self-absorbed inward individual.ix God is three person who go out toward one another in love and extend that same other orientation to us and the angels. God is love.x Love is not self-absorbed. Love extends and expends itself for others. We cannot deal with all the problems associated with the Self-Esteem Gospel. But having just completed a study of the Beatitudes, we will relate the problem to what Jesus taught in that Sermon on the Mount.
Incompatibility of the Gospel of Self-Esteem with the Beatitudes of Christ
The Gospel of Self-Esteem obstructs entry into the pathway of fulfillment that Jesus teaches in the Beatitudes. It is in direct opposition to the way Jesus teaches us to progress. We will only deal with each beatitude briefly.
The first beatitude calls upon us to be “poor in spirit.” To be poor in spirit we must recognize our utter inadequacy. Rather than trying to esteem ourselves more highly, we are to acknowledge our moral bankruptcy and need for God’s mercy and grace. When this pathway is offered to someone who has bought into the Gospel of Self-Esteem, it sounds completely wrong and the person is likely to reject Christ’s directive.
The second beatitude says, “Blessed are those who mourn.” Oh no, says the one who is trying to find himself in self-esteem. Looking at my sins and mourning over them will not make me feel better about myself. I need to celebrate my own worth. I’m not going down that path of self-degradation. So, the tenants of self-love block entrance into the way of true blessing.
The third beatitude celebrates meekness. We learned that the key element in meekness is surrender to God, an abandonment of one’s own agenda, and full submission to God and his agenda. But if I already have the honing device in me for finding fulfillment, I don’t need God, and I am certainly not going to surrender my agenda to him. Do you see how the thinking in the self-love movement is directly contrary to what Christ taught in the Beatitudes?
The fourth beatitude says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” (NKJV). But why should I hunger and thirst for something I already have? I am such a loveable creature. I don’t need to change. I don’t need a transformation. I don’t need God to give me righteousness. I just need to discover by self-examination how great I really am. My salvation is found, not in God, but in following my own inner inclinations.
The fifth beatitude calls on me to be merciful. But the agenda in the Gospel of Self-Esteem is to get everyone to be merciful to me. Accept me just as I am. Love me unconditionally regardless of my self-center irresponsibility. So according to the self-love movement, Jesus got this one backwards as well.
The sixth beatitude blesses the pure in heart. But again the goal in the self-love movement is not a purification of the heart. Instead it is a full realization of all that is in the fallen heart. There is not in that movement a call on God to search the heart and see if there is any wicked way inside (Ps. 139:23). There is not in that movement a cry unto God asking him to create in me a clean heart (Ps. 51:10). It is simply let me have free reign to do all that is in my heart whether you think it is right or not. I know best.
The seventh beatitude blesses the peacemakers: those who minister peace to others. It is an other-oriented endeavor that yields rights for the sake of others. But the self-love movement is focused on what you need to do for me. You be peaceable toward me. You accept me as I am and
appease me so that I can feel good about myself. Biblical peacemakers are ambassadors calling sinners to be reconciled to God. But the Gospel of Self-Esteem is about reconciling myself to myself rather than to God.
Finally, the blessing on the persecuted makes no sense in the Gospel of Self-Esteem. How can I build up my esteem when you are putting me down? I cannot rejoice in such an experience. What I need is affirmation, not persecution.
Conclusion:
The Gospel of Self-Esteem goes in the wrong direction because it begins wrong. It begins with a humanistic philosophy that sets humans on the highest pinnacle, whereas the true gospel begins and ends with God, not man.xi
In the Rocky Mountains is the Continental Divide: the highest elevation on the continent. The rain that falls on the east of that divide flows to the Atlantic Ocean including the Gulf of Mexico. The rain that falls west of that divide flows to the Pacific Ocean. Two very different destinations that may begin only a foot apart.xii At first glance the self-love movement may seem relatively harmless. It may not even appear to be all that different from the true biblical gospel. But it takes everything in the wrong direction. It leads to self-glory whereas the path Jesus taught in the Beatitudes leads to God-glory. God will ultimately exalt the humble followers of Christ. It does not happen through them esteeming themselves highly. It happens as they glorify him.
Jesus told the story about two men who went to the temple to pray. One had high self-esteem. He said in his prayer, “God, I thank You that I am not like other men — extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess'” (Luke 18:11-12 NKJV). He felt really good about himself. The other man was poor in spirit. The text says, “And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me a sinner’” (v.13). Did Jesus commend the Pharisee who had built up his self-esteem? No, Jesus commended the tax collector and set forth the principle: “for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" (v. 14).
We will close with one story of a man who had high self-esteem. His name was Nebuchadnezzar. One day he was walking around in his palace affirming his own worth. He was saying to himself, “Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for a royal dwelling by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?" (Dan. 4:30 NKJV). According to the Gospel of Self-Esteem that would be a wonderful moment of self-actualization. But what happened next? Daniel 4:31-33 tells us: “While the word was still in the king's mouth, a voice fell from heaven: "King Nebuchadnezzar, to you it is spoken: the kingdom has departed from you! 32 And they shall drive you from men, and your dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field. They shall make you eat grass like oxen; and seven times shall pass over you, until you know that the Most High rules in the kingdom of men, and gives it to whomever He chooses." 33 That very hour the word was fulfilled concerning Nebuchadnezzar; he was driven from men and ate grass like oxen; his body was wet with the dew of heaven till his hair had grown like eagles' feathers and his nails like birds' claws” (NKJV).
Instead of affirming his quest for self-esteem, God corrected him and brought him to the entrance of the kingdom: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”xiii
ENDNOTES:
i “Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what they can do. They often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate.” Smitha Bhandari, “Signs of Low Self-Esteem,” WebMd. Accessed at https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-low-self-esteem.
ii Paul Brownback, The Danger of Self Love (Chicago: Moody Press, 1982), 80. Since this thinking can be found in ancient eastern religions, the secular psychologists may have been influenced by those writings.
iii Emphasis Brownback’s. Brownback, 80-81. Time does not permit in this message to contrast God’s unconditional love with Roger’s unconditional love and acceptance. God is unconditionally committed to our highest good (2 Pet. 3:9), but that does not mean he is unconcerned about our behavior.
iv Cf. 2 Cor. 10:4-5.
v Emphasis Brownback’s. Brownback, 82.
vi Brownback, 82-83.
vii Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 10th ed. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 1993(), 397.
viii Of course, many never get past this first step. They proceed from one counselling session to another trying to love themselves more and more.
ix The doctrine of the Trinity and the revelation of the nature of God found in that doctrine is an important foundation for understanding the necessity of an other orientation instead of self-obsession.
x For a fuller explanation of this, see Richard W. Tow, Authentic Christianity: Studies in 1 John (Bloomington, IN: WestBow Press, 2019), 248-262.
xi Cf. Rom. 11:36.
xii Brownback, 95.
xiii Matt. 5:3 NKJV.
