Ever notice how when a man and a woman want to get married, they go to God and have a church wedding? But when they want a divorce, they go to man? They go to church to say, "I do", but they go to court to say, "I quit!". They go to a judge, who is a man or a woman, whatever the case may be, and petition the court to dissolve God's Holy covenant of marriage by signing a piece of paper that decrees the marriage is terminated. Jesus said in Matthew 19:6, "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
"What GOD has joined together." What does that mean? That means when you stand before God on His altar before the man or woman of God and vow to be married to one another, God SEALS those vows in Heaven and establishes the covenant between you, your spouse and Him. God has literally joined you together when you pledged your vows to one another. Jesus said, "What God has joined together, let not MAN separate!" Now, what does that mean? That means simply this, what God has ordained, man has no authority to overturn. Regardless of what the world believes or says, when you go to court to divorce your spouse, you are going to man to overrule what God has established. You are going to man to overrule God Himself. And you can't do that. Even if you get a divorce decree from the court that says you are no longer married to each other, that in no way means that God acknowledges that. Unless you divorce your spouse for the reasons Jesus and Paul laid out in scripture.
Matthew 19:1-10, "Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (that would be adultery for example), and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Okay, Jesus says here that whoever divorces his wife, except for adultery, he will be guilty of adultery if he marries another woman. He causes his wife to commit adultery if she marries another man. And the people they marry will be guilty of adultery as well. How is that possible? Simple, because God never terminated the covenant between you and your wife. In God's eyes, you are still married. No matter what piece of paper you have from the courts, no matter what the laws of the land say, no matter what any judge, lawyer or legal expert will tell you, your marriage in still in force with God unless you divorced for adultery. That's the only back door Jesus gives us here. But there is another way out that Paul teaches us under the anointing of God and the Holy Spirit. Remember 2 Timothy 3:16 says, "All scripture is given by God by way of the Holy Spirit."
1 Corinthians 7:12-16, he says, "But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"
Paul is saying here that if you marry an unbeliever, and they are willing to stay with you and be your spouse, stay with them. But if they choose to depart later down the road, let them. You're not going to be judged for that because the one who left didn't believe in the first place. So, we have adultery and abandonment. Those are the two exceptions for divorce in the eyes of God. Now, if you file for divorce citing "irreconcilable differences", well that just won't do. That's not going to cut it with God. That is an illegitimate divorce. God will not recognize it and He will not acknowledge it.
But so many people in both the world and the church are divorcing today because of those very reasons. Irreconcilable differences. What is that even supposed to mean? Irreconcilable differences? I'll tell you what it means to God, sin. It's just that simple. If you divorce your spouse citing irreconcilable differences, you have just broken covenant with God Himself! You have gone out and gotten an illegitimate divorce! And God is not going to acknowledge that! He's not going to release you from your vows in such cases. The covenant remains! They may not be what you thought they'd be, but you still chose them! They may not achieve what you think they should achieve in life, but you still chose them! They may not be that trophy wife or trophy husband you thought they were, but you still chose them! You made the commitment! You vowed to love in all things! Good and bad! Rich or pour! Sickness or in health! You can't just take all the good qualities of those vows and go with that! You have to take the good with the bad! You can't just take your ball and go home just because the bad shows up! Why? Because the covenant remains.
So, how do we fix this problem? First of all, you need to repent and go to God for forgiveness. Then you need to go to your spouse and make amends with them. Because remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24? "Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother (ladies, that would be your husband in this case.) has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
So, you need to repent and ask God for forgiveness, you need to be reconciled to your brother or sister aka, your husband or your wife. And you need to put aside what you want and what you think a marriage should be and let God show you what marriage really is!
Do you know why so many people get married and then get divorced mostly rather quickly if at all? Because they have taken the covenant of marriage and flipped the script on what marriage is for. People get married because they want to be happy, they want to have joy, they want to feel fulfilled. Well, guess what? Surprise! Surprise! That's not the purpose of marriage! Everything you're looking for in a marriage is not the purpose of marriage, it is the benefit of marriage! And when you get married to be happy, to have joy and be fulfilled in life, what you have done is you have taken God's blueprint for marriage and flipped everything upside down!
When you make the benefits of marriage the reason for getting married, you have disrupted God's natural order for marriage. So, what is God's purpose for marriage? I'm so glad you asked! God designed marriage to spread the reflection of Himself throughout the world. Go to the book of Genesis and I'll show you.
Genesis 1:26-30, "Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So, God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food. Also, to every beast of the earth, to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, in which there is life, I have given every green herb for food”; and it was so." Now go over to Genesis chapter 2.
Genesis 2:15-25, "Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So, Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
God created man in His own image, put him in the Garden to tend it and keep it, then saw that man was lonely and made a woman from the mans rib to be a helpmate that was comparable to him. Notice how God CREATED man but MADE the woman? To create means to make out of nothing. When you MAKE something, you make it out of something else. What did God make woman out of? The man's rib. Why? To signify that the woman is equal to the man, that she is made FROM the man, and she is to be a helpmate, the Bible says, for the man. In other words, man needs the help of a woman. Why? Because the first woman was made from a man's rib that was taken out of him. So men, that means when you marry your wife, you have reunited with what has been missing in your life all this time.
Wives are not your slaves, they're not your maid servants, they're not beneath you in any way. They are your partner. They are your other half. The half you were born without. They are your equal in every way. They are the very reflection of you! So, don't disrespect her! Don't let anyone disrespect her! And don't treat her like a piece of meat, a piece of eye candy, or anything that would be considered beneath you! She is your teammate, your partner, your equal in every way! Don't ever forget that!
Malachi 2:10-17, "Have we not all one Father? Has not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously with one another by profaning the covenant of the fathers? Judah has dealt treacherously,
And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, for Judah has profaned the Lord’s holy institution which He loves: he has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off from the tents of Jacob the man who does this, being awake and aware, yet who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts! And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; so, He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” You have wearied the Lord with your words; yet you say, “In what way have we wearied Him?” In that you say, “Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and He delights in them,” or, “Where is the God of justice?”
God hates divorce! Now, it doesn't matter how you feel about that, it doesn't matter if things aren't working out the way you thought, it doesn't matter if you're not getting your way. God hates divorce! Plain and simple. The only two outs we have for divorce is adultery and the abandonment of an unbeliever. That's what the Bible says. That's God's Sacred Word! And there's no changing that because God has said in His Word, "I am God and I change not." The Bible says, "Heaven and Earth may pass away, but My Word NEVER passes away"! So, ladies, men, it doesn't matter to God that marriage isn't working for you like YOU thought it would! It doesn't matter if the "magic" is gone! Magic has nothing to do with marriage or love and never should have had anything to do with it in the first place!
I heard about a woman the other day who said, "I was looking for the "ideal", the "ideal" became an "ordeal", now I want a new deal!" That is worldly minded thinking! And if you think along those lines, you are not operating in the faith and Spirit of the living God! One man described marriage like this, "First, there's the engagement ring, then there's the wedding ring, then there's suffering!" People who think of marriage along lines like these are of a worldly mind and shouldn't be a source of sound advice! You can't get marital advice from someone whose never been married or has been divorced 5 times! What do they know about marriage? Absolutely nothing!
Another problem is people outside the marriage union are way too involved in that marriage! Family, friends, co-workers, all want to throw their "two cents" into every subject about relationships, love and marriage! What's worse is the people in the actual relationship or marriage let them! Not only that, but they actually listen to what these people are saying! When you allow any voice other than God's to have reign and influence in your life, you are standing on the proverbial border of idolatry! People who can't mind their own business should be kept at a distance! They may not think they're causing a problem, but they I can assure you they are causing more than a problem! The Bible actually talks about that, too!
Colossians 2:4-10, "Now this I say lest anyone should deceive you with persuasive words. For though I am absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ. As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power."
The enemy will stop at nothing to destroy a marriage. Marriage is the most sacred institution God has ever established. Marriage is designed to reflect the image of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. If the enemy can destroy a family, it's like shattering a mirror! Satan will stop at nothing to accomplish that. Why is he so interested in destroying a family? Hold on to your hats, the enemy is not really after the husband or the wife! He's after the children. Why? Because if he can corrupt the children, he can corrupt the world through the next generation. Just look at what's going on in the world today.
Why are being persecuted so severely from groups like LGBTQ, politicians who are attacking the church, and the news media who's putting the bad mouth on the people of God? Because the enemy has attacked the home and has caused division between the husband and the wife, leaving the children vulnerable to his influence. And now, who's making the most noise over abortion, over same sex marriage and everything God's Word forbids or condemns? The children of the generation that fell away from the faith.
The late Sam Kinison, before he was the controversial comic he came to be, was a Pentecostal preacher. Saved, on fire for God, full of the Holy Spirit. What happened? Divorce happened. His wife divorced him and it hurt him so bad, he turned his back on God. Imagine that. Divorce took a fiery, spirit filled, man of God and turned him into one of the most vulgar, controversial men in history! Divorce did that to him! Kinison's wife left him broken and devastated. That's when the enemy crept in and twisted things all around in his mind. And the man we all knew before he died is the result of that manipulation. Still think divorce is such a good idea?
We need to get back to the Bible! We need to stop letting this world tell us how things are! The Bible lays it all out, people. Marriages are crumbling before our eyes! The divorce rate is higher than it's ever been. And not just in the world, but in the church as well. People in the church are getting divorced just as easily and frequently as the world! When are we going to stop doing this to each other? When are we going to stop letting this world and the people around us who are bitter, angry and resentful have so much influence in our lives? When are we going to stop?
Ladies, stop looking for your "dream guy". He's a dream guy for a reason. Men, stop looking for the "Perfect Ten"! Stop looking for your dream mate and start looking for your help mate! Stop looking for the man or woman of your dreams and start looking for the man or woman of God that will intercede for you in prayer. The man or woman of God that will encourage you in God's Word. The man or woman of God that will edify you in Christ.
I want to close with a story I heard about a godly woman who was married to an alcoholic. Every Saturday night, the husband would go to the bars, get drunk as a skunk, come home in a drunken stupor and just be a full blown mess! Now, most wives would've divorced that man and never look back. But this man was married to a godly woman who was faithful to God and her marriage. Every time her husband would come home in a cab needing help inside, she would take him to bed, lay him down, take his shoes off and tuck him in for a much needed night's sleep. The next morning, being Sunday morning, she would make him breakfast, get him his coffee, his newspaper and made sure he was all set before she left to walk to church as she always did every Sunday morning. One Sunday morning, the wife woke up. Her husband was not in their bed. So, she assumed he was in the bathroom and went to make sure. Sure enough, he was. Naturally, she thought he was sick from another night of drinking and partying. She waited patiently for him, ready to help him back to bed. To her surprise, the husband comes out of the bathroom clean, shaved, dressed in a suit and tie, ready to go somewhere. Bewildered by this, she asked him, "Where are you going?" The husband replied, "I'm going to church with you." He was sober, he was in his right mind, he was right as rain. They drove to church and that husband went to the altar at the altar call and gave his heart and life to Jesus. He renounced drinking. God delivered him from alcoholism. And he became a preacher and pastor of that same church!
What happened here? What happened was because the wife was such a faithful and devoted wife and Christian, she never talked down to her husband about his problem. She never scolded him for coming home drunk out of his mind. But instead, she took care of him. Helped him to bed, made breakfast for him the next morning, made sure he was alright before she left, and went to church every Sunday praying and believing God would heal her husband. And because of that devotion, the husband saw the hand of God on his wife, went to church with her, repented of his sin and gave his heart and life to Christ and dedicated his life to serving the Lord!
What am I saying here? I'm saying even if you're in a marriage like the one that wife was in, even if you're marriage is on the rocks, even if the storms of hell are beating at your home day and night, God is still a waymaker! He is still a miracle working God! He's still the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! And if God can do that for an alcoholic who was married to a woman of God, imagine what He can do in your marriage? Even if you're divorced for irreconcilable differences, God can still heal that broken marriage! God can still make all things new! God can still make a way where there seems to be no way! No one is saying you have to go back to the way things were when you were married. If God wants to heal that broken marriage, He'll make it whole! He'll make it new! He'll make it better than it ever was! He'll make it indestructible! He'll make it work! All you have to do is trust in the Lord! The Covenant does indeed remain!!!! HALLELUJAH TO THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!!!!!!!
