A. In the last two sermons in our sermon series on the Gospel of Mark, we have been watching Jesus privately teaching His disciples some very important lessons on discipleship.
1. The topics He discussed with them were about prayer, the passion of Jesus, pride and prejudice.
2. I trust that we have needed Jesus’ teachings about these subjects as much as the apostles did.
B. Today, as we start into Mark chapter 10, we notice that Jesus moved back out into public and was again doing His teaching with the crowds.
1. As Jesus was teaching in that public setting several things happened that gave Jesus the opportunity to address a number of serious societal problems facing humanity.
2. If you had to guess, what do you think were some of the most pressing societal problems facing people in Jesus’ day?
a. Would you guess things like crime, poverty and politics?
b. And what would you say are the societal problems facing people in our day?
3. My guess is that somewhere in our list of problems facing people in their day and in our day, would be the problems of divorce, the treatment of children, and materialism.
4. Jesus addressed all those problems in Mark chapter 10, but we won’t try to address them all in today’s sermon.
5. Today, we will focus on Jesus’ answer to the question about divorce that the Pharisees asked Jesus in order to test Him.
C. You are familiar with the fact that I like to begin my sermons with something on the humorous side, but as I considered the topic of divorce, I decided that jokes about divorce would be out of place.
1. But I must tell you, it was really tempting to share a joke about divorce lawyers.
D. Divorce is one of the hardest and most stressful things a person can go through in life.
1. Margaret Atwood, the Canadian poet said: “A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.”
2. I want us to take a moment to realize that many people in our congregation have lived through the terrible experience of divorce.
3. Let’s try to grasp the pain, heartache, and trauma that so many of our brothers and sisters in Christ have gone through and let’s be ready to offer compassion and grace.
4. And let’s remember that the devasted ones include the adults who were the husbands and wives involved in the dissolution of the marriage, and the children who experienced the dissolution of their family.
5. Although divorce is sometimes necessary it is never without pain, heartache and loss.
E. As I’m sure you are well aware that the state of marriage in our day has fallen on hard times.
1. The traditional definition of marriage and the God-given purpose for marriage has been lost with the legalization of same sex marriage.
2. The value and necessity of marriage has been lost in the minds of so many people today, and so living together without marriage has become the rule rather than the exception.
3. For that reason, both the rate of marriage and the rate of divorce have declined over time.
a. If you have less marriage, then you will have less divorce.
4. For those who choose the marry, the average length of marriage is 8 years.
a. We’ve heard that 50% of marriages end in divorce and that’s an accurate general fact, but here’s more detailed statistics that give a clearer picture about marriage and divorce.
b. 41% of first marriages end in divorce.
c. 67% of second marriages end in divorce.
d. 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
5. You would think that a person would get better at choosing a mate and also get better at making their marriage successful with each subsequent marriage, but that is not the case for many reasons; including these two reasons:
a. First, the problem in their marriage is often a problem with them, and unless they get help with their own issues, they take their problem with them into the next marriage.
b. And second, once a person has given up on one marriage when it wasn’t making them happy, then it is easier to give up on the subsequent marriages for the same reason.
F. I have shared these statistics with you this morning to help us to grasp the societal challenges we are facing with marriage and divorce in our day.
1. The society of Jesus’ time also had their challenges with marriage and divorce.
2. Mark reports: 1 He set out from there and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Then crowds converged on him again, and as was his custom he taught them again. 2 Some Pharisees came to test him, asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” (Mk. 10:1-2)
3. So, we see that Jesus left Capernaum of Galilee and went to the region of Judea and across the Jordon, which is the area of Perea which is the district ruled by Herod Antipas.
4. Here we see Jesus reopening His public ministry and the Pharisees reopen their public attack.
5. Mark informs us that the Pharisees came to test him, not with an honest question, but with a trap, an intent to do evil.
6. Questions about divorce have always been tricky and controversial, but because this region was ruled by Herod Antipas, this question about divorce was also a dangerous one.
a. John the Baptizer had been beheaded for preaching the truth to Herod Antipas about his divorce and remarriage, so perhaps the Pharisees were trying to get Jesus into the same trouble with Herod.
b. But there was more than politics involved in their trick question, because divorce was a very controversial subject among the Jewish rabbis.
7. In Jesus’ day, there were two dominant schools of thought on the divorce question.
a. On the one side, there was the lax view or “easy” divorce view that was headed by a rabbi named Hillel who taught that a man is allowed to divorce his wife for any reason.
b. On the opposite side, there was the “strict” view that was led by a rabbi named Shammai, who taught that only sexual infidelity justified divorce.
c. The debate between these two camps hinged on the interpretation of Deut. 24:1 and the key phrase “he finds something indecent about her.” (That we will examine in just a minute)
8. One thing was for sure, no matter how Jesus answered their question (Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?), He was sure to displease someone and it might even lead to His arrest.
G. Wisdom and experience had taught Jesus to lead the Pharisees into their own trap by asking a counterquestion rather than by giving them a direct answer to their question.
1. Jesus ignored their current debate and legalistic, hair-splitting controversy, and focused their attention on the Word of God.
2. Mark wrote: 3 He replied to them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away.” (Mark 10:3-4)
3. Let’s take a minute to look at the words from Moses that the Pharisees pointed to in their reply.
4. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 says: 1 “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. 2 If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, 4 the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.”
a. The first thing we notice from this passage is that it was the man who had the right to divorce his wife and not the other way around; for women did not have this right in Israel.
b. The second thing we notice is that this official certificate of divorce was given to the wife so that it was clear that she had the right to remarry.
c. Apart from giving this document to her, the only other guideline given was that the man who divorced his wife was not allowed to remarry the woman he had divorced.
5. Jesus will point out in verse 5 that Moses gave them those instructions because of the hardness of their hearts.
a. Moses’ law was an attempt to protect the wife by restraining the husband from impulsively sending her away without the ability to remarry, or then remarrying her when he wanted.
b. Without a certificate of divorce, the woman would easily become a social outcast and be treated like a prostitute.
c. No man would marry her and she would be defenseless and destitute.
d. But with a certificate of divorce in hand she was free to remarry.
6. So, the question wasn’t: May a divorced woman remarry because remarriage was permitted and even expected.
a. The important question was: what are the legal grounds for a man to divorce his wife?
b. The law of Moses didn’t give adultery as grounds for divorce, because in Israel, the adulterer and adulteress were supposed to be stoned to death (Dt. 22:22; Lev. 20:10).
c. So, whatever Moses meant by the husband finding “something indecent about her,” it could not have been about adultery.
H. Let’s look at Jesus’ complete response to the Pharisees.
1. Mark wrote: 5 But Jesus told them, “He wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts. 6 But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. 7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother 8 and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mk. 10:5-9)
2. Jesus took them back beyond Moses and his time to the very beginning when God created male and female for marriage (Genesis 1:27; 2:24)
3. God’s purpose for marriage is clear and it has not changed.
4. Moses’ provision for divorce was not God’s norm, but was in response to human sin.
5. Rather than debate about divorce, Jesus chose to elevate the sacredness of marriage by reminding them of God’s intentions in creation.
a. It is God who created all things and therefore, it is God’s right to make the rules.
b. Two distinct sexes were created by God and were made for the purpose of marriage.
c. God’s plan was for one man to marry one woman for life.
d. Male-male and female-female sexual relationships go against the very design of God and are forbidden by God.
e. Here are two passages that declare God’s judgment against same-sex sexual relationships.
1. Lev. 20:13 says: If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have both committed a detestable act. They must be put to death; their death is their own fault.
2. Romans 1:26-27 says: 26 For this reason God delivered them over to disgraceful passions. Their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 The men in the same way also left natural relations with women and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error.
f. According to God’s plan, a man and a woman are to break away from their parents and become a new entity.
g. God’s arithmetic goes like this one man plus one woman equals one flesh.
h. No human relationship is as sacred as that between a husband and wife where the two are combined into one spiritual and physical union and entity.
I. The firmness of Jesus’ teaching about marriage amazed even the disciples and when they got away from the crowd they had some questions for Jesus.
1. Mark reports: 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples questioned him about this matter. 11 He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mk. 10:10-12)
2. In private, Jesus answered their questions and brought them the clarity they needed.
3. Mark gives us a very concise summary of what Jesus taught them.
a. We notice in Mark’s rendition that there is no “exception clause” for divorce, whereas in Matthew’s version the exception is for “pornea” (sexual immorality).
b. The most likely reason that Mark and Luke didn’t include the exception clause is that there was no dispute or disagreement among the Jews, or in the Greek and Roman culture at that time, that adultery was a legitimate ground for divorce.
c. What Jesus did was to give a blanket statement about all the other causes of divorce without addressing any of them specifically.
d. Also, I believe that the conciseness and clarity of Jesus’ statement is meant to emphasize that God’s original intent for marriage is one man and one woman for life, anything beyond that is a failure or departure from God’s perfect plan.
4. We notice that in verse 12 Jesus granted to women a status that was virtually unknown in the Jewish world and this statement must have been shocking to the disciples.
a. When Jesus said “if she divorces her husband…”, He was suggesting that a Jewish wife had the right to put away her husband, which was a right that Roman women had.
b. Jesus’ teachings during His earthly ministry and later through His inspired writers sought to communicate that men and women are equals (fellow heirs in Christ) that they have equal rights and responsibilities in Christ.
c. Men and women are made differently and play different roles but have equal value and equal access to a relationship with God.
5. What did Jesus mean when He said that if a man or woman divorces their spouse and marries another that they commit adultery?
a. If a divorce is obtained for any reason other than because of adultery (sexual immorality), then the second marriage begins with adultery.
b. The fact that Jesus says “and marries another” implies that the second marriage, though it begins with adultery in God’s eyes, is still a marriage.
c. The big question facing interpreters over the years is the question of whether the adultery of a second marriage is considered a one-time sin or an ongoing sin in God’s eyes.
d. I personally believe, although many might disagree with me, that a second marriage should not be thought of as continually living in adultery, because the man and woman are now married to each other and to no one else.
e. We have one example in the Old Testament of a time when some Israelite men had married foreign women and they were required to separate themselves from those women.
f. But that question is never addressed explicitly in the New Testament, which is interesting because surely many of those first Christians had been divorced and remarried, but there is never an instruction that they have to put away second or third marriages in order to become a Christian or to be a faithful Christian.
J. Let’s bring today’s sermon to a close by drawing some appropriate conclusions.
1. In today’s sermon, I have not attempted to look at everything the Bible says about marriage, divorce and remarriage.
a. There are many important texts that should be studied as a part of any attempt to declare all that the Bible says about this subject.
b. What I have tried to do today is to look at the context of Mark 10 and the encounter that Jesus had with the Pharisees concerning the question they asked Him about divorce.
2. So, what primary conclusions should we draw from today’s section from Mark?
K. First and foremost, we should conclude that God is for marriage between a man and a woman.
1. God has created us for this very purpose and it is God’s ideal and will that no divorce occur – “what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
2. God’s perfect ideal is for a man and a woman to leave, cleave and believe in each other.
3. It is a beautiful picture of two people totally investing in each other and living out a life-long promise to be faithful to each other and to the promise they made before God.
4. A Christian marriage should be an unparalleled picture of true loyalty in this world.
5. The human race cannot live or prosper without the trait of fidelity (commitment) and in this regard, marriage is the foundation and bedrock of society – which is one of the reasons that our world is falling apart today, because of the breakdown of the family.
6. Until Jesus came and provided the example of His love for the church, people could not completely grasp the love that God wants a husband to have for his wife, nor a wife for her husband.
7. But how beautiful marriage can be when a husband and wife learn to love each other with the love of Christ!
8. Since God’s intention is that marriage should be for life, this provides good reason to make every reasonable effort to achieve restoration and forgiveness in marriage before taking steps dissolve a marriage through divorce.
9. And so, first, we should conclude that God is for marriage between a man and a woman.
L. A second thing that we should conclude is that divorce is always a symptom and byproduct of human sin, weakness and failure.
1. Every single person is imperfect and sinful in so many ways and for that reason relationships of all kinds, especially the relationships in marriage, are so hard.
2. Our imperfections and sins can cause great harm – emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
a. And the great harm and pain that takes place in a difficult marriage should never be minimized.
b. However, we live in a throw-away society and so when marriage becomes difficult or broken, many people think that the best thing to do is to throw it away and start over.
c. But God’s will for us is to hold on to our marriages and to keep working on themselves and their marriages.
3. For the Christian, it is God’s will that each of us take responsibility for the difficulties that we are personally bringing to our marriage.
a. Our personal imperfections and sins must not to be excused, but are to be acknowledged and addressed with the help of God and others.
b. Those striving to be healthy and mature individuals must be ready to face their imperfections and sins, take responsibility for them, and commit to growing and overcoming them.
c. And because there are no perfect people, there are no perfect marriages, but the most satisfying and healthy marriages are the ones where the couples keep working on them.
d. But it takes both people working hard and accepting responsibility to make marriage work.
e. If your mate won’t take responsibility for the sin and harm they are causing and won’t seek help to change, then separation is reasonable, and divorce may be inevitable.
4. Robert Anderson, the American playwright and screenwriter, best known for “Tea and Sympathy,” said: “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.”
5. Part of the continuing grounds for marriage, rather than divorce, has to be the commitment that we have made to God and to each other.
6. And that commitment includes the commitment to love each other – not with the warm and fuzzy feeling of love and is very pleasurable, but the agape love that is an action, not a feeling.
M. I read a story about a woman and her husband who came to their minister and said, “We’re going to get a divorce, but we want to come to make sure that you approve of it.”
1. They were hoping that their minister would say: “Well, if your marriage is too difficult or if there’s no feelings left, then the only thing you can do is split up.”
2. But instead, the minister said to the husband, “The Bible says you’re to love your wife as Jesus Christ loved the church.” But the husband replied: “Oh, I can’t do that.”
3. Then the minister said: “If you can’t begin at that level of love, then begin on a lower level. You’re supposed to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Can you at least love her as you would love a neighbor?” The husband said: “No. That’s still too high a level.”
4. Finally, the minister said: “The Bible says to love your enemies. So why don’t you begin there.”
5. Love is the key to healing a hard marriage and the key to maintaining a healthy marriage.
a. I pray that all of us will continue to live out our commitment to be disciples of Jesus who love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbor – including our closest neighbors our spouse and children.
b. I pray that all of us will be faithful to carrying out our commitments in marriage.
N. Before I finish, I want to say a final word to those who have gone through a divorce – I want you to know that God loves you (and so do we) and I want you to know that God can forgive you.
1. Please know that we are not here to judge or condemn anyone; you’ve been through enough trauma already and we don’t want to add to it.
2. Whatever sin was involved in your divorce, God is able to forgive – divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
3. None of us can unscramble the egg once it is scrambled, but what we can do is start from where we are and try to walk in obedience and faithfulness to God from where we are today.
4. I pray that all of us will repent and turn to the Lord, whether for the first time in baptism, or the thousandth time since our baptism.
5. Being a disciple of Jesus means that every day we are supposed to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Jesus.
6. Included in that daily process is the acknowledgement of where we failed yesterday and a commitment to live better today.
7. May God bless and help us all!
Resources:
• Truth for Today Commentary: Mark 1-8 and 9-16, Martel Pace, Resources Communications.
• Jesus Addresses His Society, Sermon by David Owens
• Mark – Be Diligent, The Bible Exposition Commentary by Warren Wiersbe, Victor Books.
• Mark, The Communicator’s Commentary, David McKenna
