THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT
YOU HAVE HEARD IT SAID – DIVORCE
MATTHEW 5:31–32 “IT HAS BEEN SAID, ‘ANYONE WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE MUST GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE.’ 32BUT I TELL YOU THAT ANYONE WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE, EXCEPT FOR MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS, CAUSES HER TO BECOME AN ADULTERESS, AND ANYONE WHO MARRIES THE DIVORCED WOMAN COMMITS ADULTERY.
INTRODUCTION: I HAVE TO SAY IN 40+ YEARS OF PASTORAL MINISTRY, THIS IS PROBABLY ONE THE HARDEST SERMONS, OR THE HARDEST SERMON I HAVE EVER PREPARED. I CAN REMEMBER IN BOTH BIBLE COLLEGE AND SEMINARY, THIS TOPIC WAS NEVER SUFFICIENTLY DEALT WITH, WHICH RESULTED IN A “VIEW WITHOUT CLARITY”. THIS LEFT THE ISSUE TO BE DECIDED BY INDIVIDUAL CHURCHES. EVEN WHEN ATTENDING SEMINARS TO SPECIFICALLY DEAL WITH THIS ISSUE, I LEFT WITH THE CONCLUSION THAT I WAS NO BETTER OF IN GRAPPLING WITH THIS TOPIC, AND IN MANY TIMES WORS OFF THAN I WAS BEFORE I ENTERED THE SEMINAR.
WELL, AS WE PROGRESS THROUGH THE SERMON ON THE MOUNT, I AM NOW FACED WITH TAKING A DEEP DIVE LOOK AT THE ISSUE OF DIVORCE WITH REGARD TO THE FOLLOWER OF CHRIST. AFTER ALL, I AM SURE THAT ONE OF YOU HERE TODAY WOULD NOTICE IF I JUST SKIPPED OVER THIS PASSAGE AND SIMPLY WENT ON AS THOUGH I HAD A CLERICAL ERROR.
TRANSITION: SO, PERMIT ME TO LEY OUT WHAT I BELIEVE THE BIBLE IS SAYING ABOUT THIS ISSUE AND DRAW SOME CONCLUSIONS BASED ON THE TRUTH OF SCRIPTURE. I AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO BE INFALLIBLE, ONLY FAITHFUL TO THE WORD OF GOD.
I. WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE
a. GOD SAYS MARRIAGE WAS FOR OUR WELFARE
b. IN GENESIS 2 GOD SAID IT WAS NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO BE ALONE
c. THIS IS PERHAPS THE FIRST CRISIS IN THE BIBLE, AFTER ALL WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU CALL SOMETHING GOD CALLS, “NOT GOOD”
d. MARRIAGE WAS CREATED TO RESPOND TO A CRISIS GOD DECLARED
e. WITH THE CREATION OF EVE, GOD INSTITUTED MARRIAGE
i. IT WAS A SEPARATE FAMILY UNIT
ii. IT WAS A PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP
f. THE ENTRANCE OF SIN INTO THE WORLD AFFECTED AND CONTINUES TO AFFECT OUR ABILITY TO HAVE A MARRIAGE THE WAY GOD INTENDED.
i. MARRIAGES STRUGGLE
ii. FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION ARE THE MEANS WE HAVE TODAY TO STRENGTHEN MARRIAGES
g. IN SPITE OF OR BEST EFFORTS, HARDNESS (THE ATTITUDE OF NOT FORGIVING OR RECONCILING) LED TO THE DECREE OF DIVORCE
II. WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT DIVORCE
a. GOD SAYS HE HATES IT -- MALACHI 2:14–16 YOU ASK, “WHY?” IT IS BECAUSE THE LORD IS ACTING AS THE WITNESS BETWEEN YOU AND THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH HER, THOUGH SHE IS YOUR PARTNER, THE WIFE OF YOUR MARRIAGE COVENANT. 15HAS NOT THE LORD MADE THEM ONE? IN FLESH AND SPIRIT THEY ARE HIS. AND WHY ONE? BECAUSE HE WAS SEEKING GODLY OFFSPRING. SO GUARD YOURSELF IN YOUR SPIRIT, AND DO NOT BREAK FAITH WITH THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH. 16“I HATE DIVORCE,” SAYS THE LORD GOD OF ISRAEL, “AND I HATE A MAN’S COVERING HIMSELF WITH VIOLENCE AS WELL AS WITH HIS GARMENT,” SAYS THE LORD ALMIGHTY. SO GUARD YOURSELF IN YOUR SPIRIT, AND DO NOT BREAK FAITH.
i. NOTICE GOD HATES DIVORCE
ii. NOTICE GOD ALSO HATES VIOLENCE IN THE MARRIAGE
iii. GOD ALSO TALKS ABOUT THE ISSUE OF DIVORCE AND VIOLENCE IN THE CONTEXT OF BREAKING FAITH
b. JESUS IN FULFILLING THE LAW ADDRESSED THE ISSUE OF DIVORCE
i. THE CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE
1. ONLY THE HUSBAND COULD GIVE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE
2. WHAT IT DOES NOT SAY, AND NOR SHOULD WE INFER THAT IT IS THE WIFE WHO HAS BEEN UNFAITHFUL. THE TEXT DOES NOT SAY THAT.
3. IF A MAN WAS UNFAITHFUL, HE WOULD STILL HAVE TO GIVE A BILL OF DIVORCE TO HIS WIFE. AT TIMES HE WOULD REFUSE TO DO THIS AND WOULD BE DISCIPLINED UNTIL HE DID
c. PAUL WITH THE AUTHORITY OF THE INSPIRED WORD OF GOD ADDED TO THE DIVORCE DECREE OF JESUS
1 CORINTHIANS 7:10–15 TO THE MARRIED I GIVE THIS COMMAND (NOT I, BUT THE LORD): A WIFE MUST NOT SEPARATE FROM HER HUSBAND. 11BUT IF SHE DOES, SHE MUST REMAIN UNMARRIED OR ELSE BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND. AND A HUSBAND MUST NOT DIVORCE HIS WIFE. 12TO THE REST I SAY THIS (I, NOT THE LORD): IF ANY BROTHER HAS A WIFE WHO IS NOT A BELIEVER AND SHE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HIM, HE MUST NOT DIVORCE HER. 13AND IF A WOMAN HAS A HUSBAND WHO IS NOT A BELIEVER AND HE IS WILLING TO LIVE WITH HER, SHE MUST NOT DIVORCE HIM. 14FOR THE UNBELIEVING HUSBAND HAS BEEN SANCTIFIED THROUGH HIS WIFE, AND THE UNBELIEVING WIFE HAS BEEN SANCTIFIED THROUGH HER BELIEVING HUSBAND. OTHERWISE YOUR CHILDREN WOULD BE UNCLEAN, BUT AS IT IS, THEY ARE HOLY. 15BUT IF THE UNBELIEVER LEAVES, LET HIM DO SO. A BELIEVING MAN OR WOMAN IS NOT BOUND IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES; GOD HAS CALLED US TO LIVE IN PEACE.
i. PAUL REPEATS THE TEACHING OF CHRIST THAT MARRIAGE SHOULD BE PERMANENT
ii. MARRIAGES WITH AN UNBELIEVER WAS NOT GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
iii. THE DEPARTURE OF AN UNBELIEVING SPOUSE
iv. THE UNBELIEVING PARTNER WANT TO LEAVE THE MARRIAGE
1. THE BELIEVER WAS NOT THE ONE TO INITIATE THE DIVORCE
2. THE BELIEVER WAS TO BE A CHANNEL OF GRACE IN THE MARRIAGE
a. SANCTIFYING THE UNION
b. SANCTIFYING THE CHILDREN
c. POSSIBLY WINING THE UNBELIEVING SPOUSE TO CHRIST
3. MARRIAGE IS MUTUAL NOT UNILATERAL
4. PAUL HAD ELSEWHERE TAUGHT RECONCILIATION AS THE FIRST COURSE OF ACTION
EPHESIANS 4:32 BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, JUST AS IN CHRIST GOD FORGAVE YOU.
5. IF THE UNBELIEVER LEFT, THE BELIEVER WAS NOT BOUND AND AT PEACE
v. WHAT IS OFTEN MISSED IN THIS PASSAGE IS THE FOUNDATIONAL REASON – PEACE
1. THE SPECIFIC CONTEXT IS THAT GOD DOES NOT DESIRE ENSLAVEMENT IN A MARRIAGE BETWEEN A BELIEVER AND AN UNBELIEVER.
2. THE MORE GENERAL PRINCIPLE IS THAT GOD DOES NOT DESIRE A MARRIAGE TO BE AN ENSLAVEMENT
III. THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE -- EXCEPT FOR MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS
a. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
b. THE WORD FOR UNFAITHFULNESS IS “PORNEIA”
i. THIS IS A “JUNK DRAWER” WORD
ii. REFERS TO ALL KINDS OF SEXUAL IMMORALITIES
1. SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
2. SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE
3. INCEST
4. HOMOSEXUALITY
5. PEDOPHILIA
6. OTHERS I WILL NOT NAME
iii. BACK IN 1 COR 7 PAUL TALKS ABOUT THE ISSUE OF ABANDONMENT AND USES A PHRASE, “IN SUCH CIRCUMSTANCES”
1. IN CONTEXT, A BELIEVER IS NOT BOUND WHEN ABANDONED BY AN UNBELIEVING SPOUSE
2. I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT AND LOOK AT THE ISSUE OF ABANDONMENT IN LIGHT OF BIBLICAL AUTHORITY
IV. SEEING MARRIAGE IN THE LIGHT OF BIBLICAL AUTHORITY
a. THE INTENT OF MARRIAGE – HOW GOD SEES IT
EPHESIANS 5:22–28 WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS AS TO THE LORD. 23FOR THE HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF THE WIFE AS CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH, HIS BODY, OF WHICH HE IS THE SAVIOR. 24NOW AS THE CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST, SO ALSO WIVES SHOULD SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS IN EVERYTHING. 25HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES, JUST AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER 26TO MAKE HER HOLY, CLEANSING HER BY THE WASHING WITH WATER THROUGH THE WORD, 27AND TO PRESENT HER TO HIMSELF AS A RADIANT CHURCH, WITHOUT STAIN OR WRINKLE OR ANY OTHER BLEMISH, BUT HOLY AND BLAMELESS. 28IN THIS SAME WAY, HUSBANDS OUGHT TO LOVE THEIR WIVES AS THEIR OWN BODIES. HE WHO LOVES HIS WIFE LOVES HIMSELF.
i. WIVES ARE TO RESPOND TO THEIR HUSBANDS – THE MEANING OF THE WORD SUBMIT
ii. HUSBANDS ARE TO PROVIDE THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THEIR WIVES ARE TO RESPOND IN
1. LOVE THEIR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH
2. TO BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE HIMSELF FOR HIS WIFE
3. TO LOVE HIS WIFE AS HE LOVES HIMSELF
b. THE ISSUE OF SUBMISSION IN SCRIPTURE
i. ALL BELIEVERS ARE REQUIRED TO SUBMIT IN A VARIETY OF SITUATIONS
1. CHILDREN TO PARENTS
2. CITIZENS TO GOVERNMENT
3. WIVES TO HUSBANDS
4. EMPLOYEES TO EMPLOYERS
5. CHURCH MEMBERS TO CHURCH LEADERSHIP
6. ALL CHRISTIANS TO EACH OTHER
7. ALL BELIEVERS TO CHRIST
ii. WHAT I WANT YOU TO SEE IS THAT SUBMISSION IN THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP ALSO REQUIRES SUBMISSION TO JESUS AND HIS DESIRE FOR MARRIAGE.
iii. WE ARE ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE TO JESUS FIRST BEFORE ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIP. SUBMISSION TO JESUS TAKES PRIORITY
c. AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND OR WIFE FOR THAT MATTER HAS DISOBEYED OBEYED CHRIST
i. THE ONE ABUSED CAN AND SHOULD SEEK REFUGE FROM OTHER AREAS OF SUBMISSION
1. THE CHURCH – THROUGH DISCIPLINE OF THE ABUSER AND PROTECTION FROM HIM
2. THE CIVIL SYSTEM IF THREATENED WITH HARM -- ROMANS 13:4 FOR HE IS GOD’S SERVANT TO DO YOU GOOD. BUT IF YOU DO WRONG, BE AFRAID, FOR HE DOES NOT BEAR THE SWORD FOR NOTHING. HE IS GOD’S SERVANT, AN AGENT OF WRATH TO BRING PUNISHMENT ON THE WRONGDOER.
d. ABUSE LIKE ABANDONMENT IS ITS OWN KIND OF “PORNEIA”, AS IT IS
i. ABANDONMENT OF THE BODY
ii. IT IS CONTRARY TO SUBMISSION TO GOD REGARDING THE NATURE OF MARRIAGE
iii. UNREPENTANT ABUSE DERIVES THE MARRIAGE PARTNER OF INTIMACY, FELLOWSHIP, EDIFICATION, AND IMAGE OF MARRIAGE GOD INTENDED.
iv. THEN ABUSE THAT IS NOT REPENTED OF NOR RECONCILED FROM WOULD FALL WITHIN THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE OF THE LORD
I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT THE “ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM IS WHETHER OR NOT PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, ABUSE IS AN ABANDONMENT OF THE MARRIAGE AS IT HAS VIOLATED THE FAR MORE FOUNDATIONAL ACT OF SUBMISSION OF EITHER OR BOTH IN SUBMISSION TO GOD REGARDING HOW A MARRIAGE SHOULD BE
CONCLUSION:
GOD INTENDED MARRIAGE TO BE A PERMANENT ILLUSTRATION OF CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH
SIN AFFECT THE ABILITY OF MARRIAGES TO REMAIN AS GOD INTENDED.
DIVORCE DEFINED BY THE PHARISEES WAS NOT WHAT GOD WANTED.
JESUS AND LATER PAUL TAUGHT ON DIVORCE AND OFFERED TWO EXCEPTIONS – ABANDONMENT AND IMMORALITY
EITHER PARTY CAN BE AT FAULT
ALTHOUGH GOD’S INTENT WAS FOR MARRIAGES TO LAST, HE DID PROVIDE RELIEF.
AND AS I HOPE WE HAVE SEEN TODAY, ABUSE FALLS INTO THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE PERMITTING THE END OF A MARRIAGE AS IT VIOLATES THE ACT OF SUBMISSION TO GOD REGARDING THE MARRIAGE.
