Sermon – Taking Authority Over Your Words
Scripture: Ephesians 4:29-32 “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
INTRODUCTION: Verbal abuse seems to run rampant on television, social media platforms and in cell phone conversations. Verbal abuse is intentionally using gestures and language to cause harm. Like all forms of abuse, the ultimate goal of verbal abuse is to exert power and control over another person. Words are used to threaten, intimidate, confuse, or criticize. Verbal abuse can look different from person to person. A lot of times when people use dirty words against others, it might be an indication of their frustration level. Abusing or cursing is a unique way to express their anger, desperation or even defeat. Believers are called to a higher standard.
Ephesians 4 reminds us to live a life worthy of the calling we have received in Christ Jesus. We are called to unity as a body of believers through one Lord, one Spirit, and one hope. God has given us apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers to prepare God’s people for works of service so the body of Christ may be built up and obtain the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. We are reminded to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Since we are not our own, we belong to God. We must adopt a new attitude of self-control. One of the most difficult challenges of the believer is to control their tongue or their conversation to work God's way. We use words to express what we think and how we feel. We use words to ask questions, give directions, and explain things. We use words to encourage people and challenge people. We use words to communicate disapproval and disappointment, and we use words to express approval and appreciation. Words are a vital part of all we are and all we do. Our words are powerful and dangerous. We must use them with care. Words are powerful. Whether you write or speak them, they do have an impact on you and others. They express feelings and share knowledge. They can change someone’s mood completely and ignite a spark in them for good or bad.
The Bible says, “the tongue can no man tame.” Man has the power to subdue the largest, strongest, and wildest beasts in nature, yet he has not the power to tame his tongue. All that he can do, is to keep the tongue with a bridle and cause his tongue to speak wholesome words. (James 1.26) We must be slow to speak, swift to hear and slow to wrath.
James 3:2-7 says, “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.”
We are a sound bite and acronym generation. So when it comes to really communicating we are not very good. It can be tough to communicate effectively in sound bites. Communication is shared with the tongue but comes from the heart.
“Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
In the NLT that verse reads, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”
Our key verse today is Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.”
Paul warns believers to choose their words carefully. Let no word come out without careful thought. Corrupt communication literally mean rank words, foul words, rotten words, worthless and unproductive words. Your words are a direct reflection of your heart. In other words, rotten words come from rotten hearts.
Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight.”
Our words and communication as Christians are important because all people need to be heard, appreciated, and respected. Ephesians 4:15 cautions us “to speak the truth in love.” Christians who do it well, are those who learn how to discuss their differences in a Christlike manner, humbling themselves as they listen to others and work through differences of opinion without destroying one another or tearing down one another.
Ephesians 4:29, “do not say harmful things, but say what people need.” Believers are God’s witnesses in the world. We walk in obedience to God remembering that all people need respect. All people need to feel appreciated. All people need honesty and acceptance. As we represent Christ and His kingdom, we must recognize that each person is different, from different backgrounds, different upbringings, because God loves variety. As believers, let’s strive to communicate clearly. Communicate lovingly, Communicate encouragingly. Communicate in various ways until we find the right approach. Why? Because we belong to God and His people are important. Three things in the text: first, as credible witnesses, learn to communicate with an honest, and gentle tongue. Second, learn to eliminate unwholesome words from your communication. Finally, learn to make encouragement a major part of your communication.
Do you ever have a problem with your tongue? If we are honest, sometimes we all do. It might be a little white lie. When we were children, we might have said, "It wasn't me!" "I didn't do it." When we became adults, we might have said, "I'm feeling under the weather today, so I won't be in to work." "I'm going to be working late tonight. It might be gossiping, “Did you hear about so and so?" "Don't repeat this, but I heard" "I probably shouldn't say this, but I heard". At other times our words might even be hurtful, "I hate you!" "Shut up!" "Can't you do anything right?" "I can't stand them." "You’re just crazy."
If we admit it, we can have all kinds of problems with our tongues. Christians can do better and should do better. This is why Paul tells believers to season their conversation with salt. He means that our words should be tasty and delightful to people who may hear them. Our words can also be used as a preservative—to build and to strengthen relationships. Jesus Christ is our example. Under his greatest test and trial, he controlled his tongue and said only what His Father commanded. That spirit indwells every believer. By God's grace we can start new habits in our speech. By taking authority over our words, believers can control their tongues to work God's way. Let's explore the text to see what God wants us to do about our tongues. We must bridle our tongue constantly and guide our tongue in the right direction. Taking authority over our words is an individual responsibility.
Being raised on a farm in eastern North Carolina, it still amazes me how I could drive a wagon, plow a field, and guide those mules with a little tug on a rope attached to the bridle. I was only a small boy, those mules were massive, yet I had all that power under my control. My dad taught me how to take control over those mules with my words and the bridle. With the word gee and haw, woe and get up, along with the slightest tug on the bridle, the mules obeyed me, and the work was done. The tongue is more powerful than any other member of the body. It has power to do good or harm, to speak life or death, to build or to kill, and it’s under our control. After telling believers how to walk, Paul tells us how to talk.
First, as Credible believers learn to communicate with an honest and gentle tongue. God wants believers to have honest and gentle tongues. An honest tongue speaks from an honest heart. We see this truth in vs. 25, where Paul said: "Therefore, putting away lying, each one speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another."
Before they speak, believers should asked themselves: Is what I’m about to say Good? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Believers should not speak until their words pass the test of those three questions. As credible witnesses of Jesus Christ, the believer’s words should be helpful, honest, and gentle. Don't lie, speak with a credible, honest, and gentle tongue. Thou shalt not bear false witness is one of the Ten Commandments, and it's one of the first Commandments we break. The child says, "He hit me first!" "She started it!" "I didn't break it." Gary Huckaby talks about the time he caught his little girl eating jelly out of the jar. Little Nikki was about four years old at the time. And Dad asked her, "Nikki, are you eating out of the jelly jar?" "No sir," she answered. "Are you sure you are not eating out of the jelly jar?" Church, she had jelly all over her face, on her fingers, and even in her hair! But again, she said, "No sir, I'm not eating jelly out of the jar." We learn to lie at a very young age. And it turns out that dishonesty is a very serious problem. It's serious because all relationships are built on trust, and trust is destroyed by lies. Thank God that trust can be rebuilt over time! But no wonder God made being honest one of His Ten Commandments. It says, Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” Ephesians 4 says, "Therefore, putting away lying, each one speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another." God wants us to establish a credible, honest, and gentle tongue. Then others will know we can be trusted and that we have their best interest in mind. Truthfulness must be fundamental to our Christian lifestyle.
Second, learn to eliminate the unwholesome words from your communication. God also wants us to eliminate the unwholesome words from your communication. One translation says, “Eliminate the trashy talk.” Believers should take authority over the unwholesome words they permit to flow out of their mouths. As we see in vs. 29: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." That word "corrupt" means worthless and rotten. Then, vs. 31 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." The word "evil speaking" there is where we get the root word for "blasphemy." But this kind of evil, abusive language can be against both people and God. God says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth." "Let all evil speaking be put away from you." Take the trash out of your mouths, -- like cussing. How long has it been since you said a cuss word? I almost never hear people cuss around me who know me, because most people just don't like to cuss around the preacher. But sometimes Christians do fall into the bad habit of using cuss words. And that's a problem because it disguises who we are as believers, and it does not reflect the character of God.
People need to see Christ in us, who is the hope of glory. But they probably won’t, if we have a foul mouth. Well, you may say, I have not said a cuss word in 5 years, but what about gossiping? What about murmuring and complaining? What about criticizing? I know you get the idea. God considers all of it trash. Let’s get the trash out of our mouths. The idea is to pick it up and throw it away. So, before we speak, believers should asked themselves: Is what I’m about to say Good? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Believers should not speak until their words pass the test of those three questions. Eliminating the trash from your conversations is a personal responsibility. This can be and must be done by every believer. And Christian, if you need some help getting started, think back to the fact that people generally don't like to cuss around a preacher. If you want some help taking out the trash, consciously focus on the fact that Jesus Christ is right there with you. That ought to help. Whether it's cussing, gossiping, complaining or something else, God wants us to eliminate trashy talk. (my wife was singing the other day, “A little bit of Chicken fried, cold beer on a Saturday night, a pair of jeans that fit just right”) Without even thinking about it, while cleaning up the car, that line from a country western song stuck in her head. Satan has a thousand ways to influence our words, but you and I have the control. If Satan cannot warp our attitude, he seeks to control our tongue. He knows the power of our words.
James 3:6-8 “And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.” Not only should we cultivate an honest, gentle tongue, we must get rid of the trash in our conversation! Notice the strong words in the text, “Put away”, Rid yourself, Don’t allow, the tongue is under our control. We can harness its power or let it lose like a mad dog. An unharnessed tongue will injure and destroy; a harnessed tongue can build up, encourage, and produce life.
Thirdly, we must learn to make encouragement a major part of our communication. God also wants us to start encouraging other people. Verse 29 says, "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification." The word "Edification" means "building people up." The NIV says it this way, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." The New Living Translation says: "Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." God wants us to use our tongues to encourage and build each other up. Are you doing that? It can make an amazing difference in people's lives. Our communication is both verbal and non-verbal. Our body language speaks volumes. I’m amazed at how bad some preachers make the good news sound so bad. And how some can make a loving God sound so cruel.
1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” This verse commands Christians to continue to encourage and lift fellow followers of Jesus. Encourage one another by embracing every opportunity, at a convenient time to introduce anything that is good and will build up believers and be of spiritual benefit of those on this Christian Journey. In other words, search for the right words, and find the most appropriate way and right tone of voice to build up and encourage others on this journey with you. Why do we need to build up one another? Because our journey is long, difficult, and discouraging. Encouragement makes it easier to live holy lives in a fallen world. Encouragement makes it easier to love others as Jesus loves us (see John 13:34-35). Encouragement gives hope to others in time of despair. (Romans 15:4).
Encouragement helps us through times of discipline and testing (Hebrews 12:5). Encouragement nurtures patience and kindness (see 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and Galatians 5:22-26). Encouragement makes it easier to sacrifice our own desires for the advancement of God’s kingdom. In short, encouragement makes it easier to live the Christian life. Encouragement builds up the body of Christ! Life can be difficult, and we all make mistakes. It is easy to become critical and negative. It is easy to be down on people and down on yourself. God knew encouragement would be a necessary ingredient for a wholesome life.
So, encourage others, but don’t forget about encouraging yourself! Some remember to encourage others, but they are down on themselves, critical of themselves and even hard on themselves. The Psalms of David show us over and over how David encouraged himself, so must we. “This is the day that the Lord Has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Yes, Christians must walk the walk, but we must also talk the talk. We do that by learning to communicate with a credible, honest, and gentle tongue. By eliminating the trash from your communication. And by learning to encourage others and yourself. Looking for the right opportunity, searching for the right words and speaking them in the best way. When we control our tongues to work God's way, we will be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you! Remember, each of us has a control switch or bridle for our tongue. You cannot control mine and I cannot control yours, but we can keep our tongues under control with the help of the Holy Spirit. Our tongue is like a controlling bridle, a rudder of a ship or a steering wheel on a car, guiding us into the future. We set the course and choose the direction and destination. If we handle our speech with care, we can visit many places leaving blessings and encouragement as we go!
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Amen.
