CHRISTIAN PARENTING: PARENTING AMIDST CHAOS
Deuteronomy 6:1-25 | Ephesians 6:1-4
#parenting
INTRODUCTION… sympa.com/insights/blog/company-culture-in-chaos [adapted]
Chaos is complete disorder and confusion. Chaos is behavior that is unpredictable due to small changes in conditions. I was doing some reading this week and ran across an article about “Five Signals That Your Company’s Culture is in Chaos.” I was about to dismiss it, but decided to read it anyway. The reason I ended up finding this article was because I was praying and reading and thinking about the word “chaos.” Our emphasis today is “Parenting Amidst the Chaos of Culture.” I am going to share a few of the points of the article with you because it is relevant to our discussion and the principles the author presents apply to businesses and organizations, but also to culture and I would say even families.
Culture is all about people. It is a constantly evolving social artifact that results when people decide to live, work, and socialize together. It is the knowledge, customs, and values that guide daily actions. I happen to think our culture is in crisis. The word I would use is “chaos.” That results from small changes that creates unpredictability. What are some ideas about chaos and culture? How does one know they are in the midst of chaos?
#1 You have many benefits and good things happening, but burnout and motivation are big issues.
We live in a fantastic country where we have many freedoms that many in the world do not enjoy. Most folks in our culture have a place to live, income, education, entertainment, leisure time for hobbies, the ability to retire, and so many more blessings. We have safe convenient places of worship and can worship in freedom. Americans, you and I, enjoy many many blessings and goodness and freedoms and plenty and yet, stress and burnout and apathy are very present in our culture. We know this to be true which is why the term “self-care” has been trending in our culture of late. “Self-care” is a big deal and an often talked about idea because burnout and stress among all ages are very real issues pressing on us.
* When good things are happening and yet people suffer, there is chaos.
* When life is good, but that goodness causes stress, there is chaos.
#2 You have values, but you don’t see them play out in daily life.
Values are often not the nice, shiny words found on the lips of politicians or preachers, but rather values are actually the collective behaviors and decision-making principles that are commonplace and aren’t even thought about. We act what we value. We celebrate what we value.
What do people really value?
How do people in our culture behave on a regular basis?
And, more importantly, who are the standard bearers for setting and acting out our values?
Social media and TV are places where many of the standard bearers and influencers of our society share values. We often say we value children, truth, compassion for others, freedom of thought, family, letting people be who they are, right thinking, and being wise. And yet we often behave selfishly, harshly, value political correctness over common sense, share thoughts without checking the truthfulness, cancel people who disagree with us, force our opinions on others in the name of tolerance and compassion, spend more than we earn, and divorce at the drop of a hat. Our values as Americans do not often play out in daily life.
* Many times, we behave contrary to the values we espouse and this creates chaos.
* When we believe one thing and yet do another, this creates chaos.
#3 We have a culture code, but nobody knows what it is.
What does it mean to be an American?
What does it mean to be a man or a woman?
What is the meaning of marriage?
When does life begin?
What does it mean to be a Christian?
I ask those five questions because we think we know the answers to those basic questions, but there is absolutely no consensus in our culture on the actual answers to those questions. Preachers say one thing and politicians say another while the civil laws of the United States establish one thing while the UCMJ establishes another. Movies and TV tell us one thing while our family traditions may teach us something else.
* When there are not settled agreements among people about the most basic foundations of society and meaning of life, there is chaos.
I thought those three areas were quite insightful as I related them to our American culture and families and not just businesses. American culture is in chaos because burnout and stress and apathy are a big issue; we have stated values, but we do not see them lived out in daily lives; and there is a code of culture, but no one knows what is true anymore.
* Chaos is a big deal.
* Chaos impacts us and how our families relate to the culture.
* Chaos impacts the Church and beliefs and creates doubts and questions.
* Chaos means whatever is normal is no longer normal because no one knows what is normal.
ILLUSTRATION… VBS Material, Pets Unleashed VBS, Group Publishing, page 5
Yesterday we had our annual Vacation Bible School led by Melanie. If you see Melanie today and she looks tired, it is because VBS is a whole lot of work. Make sure when you see her you tell her how proud we are of her… because it is true. Please tell her how much we appreciate her.
I mention VBS because I volunteered to serve and Melanie gave me the opportunity to share the Bible story in the morning. I was reading over the lesson this week and I wanted to share with you what the lesson-writers wrote to the lesson-givers as the person prepared for the lesson. This is background for the lesson-giver before the lesson even starts. Page 5 says:
“Children may receive mixed ideas about what is right or wrong. Friends, parents, teachers, and even social media sources don’t always agree, and the resulting message can be confusing. Kids want to know which way to go in this dark, confusing world.”
We live in a society where we do not even know what is right and what is wrong and our children receive mixed messages about this most basic value. The lesson-writers used the word “confusing.” I am using the word “chaos.” It is the same truth in my opinion.
SERMON SERIES AND CHALLENGE
Finishing up this week (3 weeks total), we have been digging into Deuteronomy 6 as well as some other passages as we focus on the topic of parenting. Even if you are not a parent or grandparent, make sure you do not tune out because the principles and truths that we find in the Bible apply to us no matter the life stage we are in because all of us need wisdom for living in the chaos of our culture.
The first week we talked about Christian Habitudes.
The second week (last week) we focused on having Spiritual Conversations.
This week, we will dig into parenting amidst the Chaos of Culture.
These three sermons are not the complete conversation by the way. Each week there will be a time after the sermon to follow-up and sit down and dig deeper into the topics that were discussed and think and pray how to apply these principles specifically to your family. I challenge you to make time for these times. For today (7/9) the follow-up is today at 4pm and we will discuss further issues in depth that our children and grandchildren are facing in today’s chaotic culture.
TRANSITION
So, it is in the midst of chaos that you and as parents and grandparents must be ready, willing, and able to answer the call of raising our children in the Lord, have inevitable and expected spiritual conversations, and lead them through the chaos of culture so they have a firm foundation in Christ. Let’s read from Deuteronomy 6 and focus on verses 4-15:
READ DEUTERONOMY 6:4-15 (ESV)
“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is One. 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 10 “And when the LORD your God brings you into the land that He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you—with great and good cities that you did not build, 11 and houses full of all good things that you did not fill, and cisterns that you did not dig, and vineyards and olive trees that you did not plant—and when you eat and are full, 12 then take care lest you forget the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 13 It is the LORD your God you shall fear. Him you shall serve and by His Name you shall swear. 14 You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you— 15 for the LORD your God in your midst is a jealous God—lest the anger of the LORD your God be kindled against you, and He destroy you from off the face of the earth.”
DEUTERONOMY 6:4-15 EXPLAINED
There are two truths presented in these verses that we need to notice as we think about chaos and our culture and parenting and living as believers in our culture.
The first comes in verse 12 when Moses writes, “then take care lest you forget the LORD.” Those words are both odd and important. We notice that God wants us to take care in not forgetting because it is something that comes very easy to us as human beings. When I think about forgetfulness, I often think about forgetfulness because of being busy, distracted, or not paying attention. Those are types of forgetfulness. We forget that we were supposed to pick someone up because we got busy and distracted or we forgot to make an appointment on time because we lost track of time. God knows we get distracted by busyness or that chaos will mess up routines or normal ways of thinking.
Forgetfulness also comes because we deem something as more important than the object or person we are remembering or focusing upon. We forget the less important. God knows we tend to put people or events or things out of our mind that we deem not important at the time in favor of what makes sense to us at the time. This why the Old Testament is filled with reminders of Who God is and why in the New Testament Jesus instituted communion to make sure we remember Him properly. God knows we forget Him as most important because we are sinful. Jesus knew we would forget Him and not keep our eyes and hearts and minds on Him because our sinful nature often overrides everything else.
ILLUSTRATION… LACRAE LYRICS, ‘BACKGROUND’ 2010
Lecrae Is an American rapper, singer, songwriter, record and film producer, record executive, actor, Christian speaker, author, and entrepreneur. He mentions this tendency to forget God and put God to the side all throughout his 2010 song, ‘Background’:
I could play the background
'Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
…
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs
…
I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
…
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in You, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothin'
God says in verse 12 to take extra special care to make sure we don’t forget Him because that road only leads to destruction and pouring your life out for nothing. God is emphasizing that more than likely forgetting will happen and He will be forgotten and relegated to the background. God knows we put Him out of our minds. God knows we put Him on the back-burner of our lives. God knows we opt for other ways of living and accidentally or purposefully forget His ways. God wants our full attention. The opposite of giving God our full attention is forgetting Him. Often in the struggles of life or in what we learn from our chaotic culture, God goes by the wayside.
Israel would do this over and over. Joshua (Joshua 24) commanded the people at the end of his life not to forget God, but that he and his house would serve the Lord. The Book of Judges is full of a cycle where the People of God dismissed God from their lives over and over again. 1 and 2 Kings is full of people who just didn’t make God a normal part of their lives and “did what was evil in the eyes of the Lord.” How could Israel forget the God Who brought them out of Egypt and parted the Red Sea and did miracles and led them to the Promised Land?
* Being distracted by life and their needs.
* Carelessness.
* Stress and pressures of life.
* They didn’t like what God said.
Because of these reasons and so many more, Israel is commanded to be very careful to remember God. If we are honest, we see ourselves very clearly when it comes to remembering God and forgetting and chaos and life. We too forget God. We too get distracted by life and pressing needs and we go our own way and leave God behind. We too are careless and just skip God. We too may not like what God has to say on a particular matter and so we lose His Words as we think over issues and make decisions.
The second truth from this passage comes in verse 14 which says, “You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are around you.” In the cultures of the Bible, everyone believed in some god or goddess or spiritual reality. There was no one without a supernatural world view. In the world in which Moses’ people lived, there were options for what or who to believe in… Baal, Asherah, Molech, Dagon… are four that are often mentioned in the Bible.
Moses was commanding the people to keep their attention on God because the nations and the people around them and the cultures of their neighbors would lead them away from God. There were other options for belief and Moses wanted the People of God to remember that it was God Who forgives and gives life. He wanted them to remember God’s commands were the best way of living. Other paths led to destruction and sinfulness and loss of life. Idol worship involved carving and worshipping physical idols, cutting and slashing flesh while praying, consulting ancestral spirits, burning children alive as sacrifices, and sexual acts beyond what God would term wholesome. Idols were not best for people.
Jesus says we should follow the narrow way rather than the broad road and says it this way in Matthew 7:
READ Matthew 7:13-14 (ESV)
Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
If we are honest with ourselves, we may not have a physical idol that we worship, but we do have spiritual influences, horoscopes, entertainment, jobs, activities, and even people that take the place that God should occupy in our lives. We too go after the wide road of things and people and money and jobs and influence because we think that they will make our lives better and more fulfilling and blessed. We too often follow after something else for a better life and find only emptiness.
SUMMARY
It is quite a challenge to raise children and grandchildren or even to be a person of solid faith in a culture that is filled with chaos that tempts us and leads us to forget God and offers many false paths to a good life. Moses knew that which is why he wrote what he wrote to the People of God after receiving the Ten Commandments and the other Law. He wanted to remind the people to keep God in the forefront of their lives and to not let Him slip away as the #1 priority.
As I was thinking about this, another passage from the New Testament came to mind because it speaks to parents and children and mentions the commandments of God bringing promise and life. The Apostle Paul writes to children and parents in Ephesians 4:
READ EPHESIANS 6:1-4 (ESV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
EPHESIANS 6:1-4 EXPLAINED
What we see in Ephesians 6 is two sides of one command. In an uncharacteristic manner, Paul addresses children and tells them to obey their parents. I say uncharacteristic because in Paul’s day and culture most of the time children were not addressed in letters like this or thought of much. It is quite telling and significant that he points out children because children are extremely important. Children are valued by God. Even in the Gospels Jesus shows great love for children:
READ MATTHEW 19:14 (ESV)
“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
We also see Paul addressing parents and specifically fathers that they are to bring up their children in the discipline and knowledge of God. The word that Paul uses is the word for “nourish” and “bring to maturity.” Parents and grandparents are an important and essential influence in the lives of children. It is literally a command from God to bring up our children in the Lord.
We need to make sure we see this verse correctly because there is a huge misconception at play with parenting and church and Christians. The misconception is that if you take your kid to church that they will become a Christian and will mature in faith. The misconception is that the longer a person is in church the more mature they will be in Christ. That is NOT the case. It is NOT the church’s job to raise your child to be a mature Christian. It is NOT the church’s job to raise your child to be a Christian. It is YOUR job as the parent and if you want to get technical… it is the father’s job. It is our job and calling and responsibility to mature our children in Christ as a parent. The church can help and is an essential element, but the average student spends 2 hours a week or less at church and that is not nearly enough time or effort to mature in the faith. Maturity in Christ starts and ends at home.
TRANSITION
So, how do we raise our children and grandchildren in a way that fights against the chaos of culture fueled by the forgetfulness of the human heart and the temptation of false idols and beliefs? This afternoon, we are going to talk more specifically about certain cultural trends that draw us and our families away from God, but for now, how do we raise our children and grandchildren in a way that fights against the chaos? We take to heart the words of Moses and obey the Word of God.
FIGHT AGAINST CHAOS
I could mention many things, but I’d rather be incredibly helpful and practical. One way that we can fight against the chaos of culture fueled by the forgetfulness of the human heart and the temptation of false idols and beliefs is prayerfully managing our time well. Time is a key. It is not the only key, but it is a key. Time. Time. Time.
We need take to heart the command in 6:12 that we should “take care lest you forget the LORD.” It is essential that we ourselves do not forget God in our daily lives and we then teach and model for our children and grandchildren to always keep God at the forefront of our minds. We must have one God and one King and push all others and self to the side. Time. Time. Time.
* Lack of time in the Bible breeds forgetfulness.
* Lack of time and energy worshipping God makes for forgetting.
* Lack of commitment in Church helps forgetfulness.
* Letting your kids and grandkids skip out of the spiritual side of youth group makes for chaos.
* Lack of time praying leads to forgetfulness.
* Over-committing our time with sports and school makes for chaos.
* Lack of time discussing God, Jesus, the Spirit, and the Bible as a family creates forgetfulness.
Time. Time. Time.
A key for pushing back the chaos of self and culture and forgetfulness is to give God the time and attention and worship and energy and effort HE DESERVES. We have got to take honest examination of our hearts as adults and see where we spend our time and energy and effort in order to understand what we are really modeling for our children and grandchildren. They will do what we do. They will do what we let them. Whatever or for whoever we spend the majority of our time, effort, breath, and resources on is what we are ultimately worshipping and what we are basing our life upon. Therefore, we must ask, is Jesus our master, or something or someone else?
PRAYER
INVITATION
