CHRISTIAN PARENTING: SPIRITUAL CONVERSATIONS
Deuteronomy 6:1-25, Matthew 7:24-27
#parenting
INTRODUCTION… Communication Issues (tvtropes.org)
I want to share some TV shows and movies with you this morning as we begin to warm up to the topic that we will eventually find in the Scriptures. All of the movies or TV shows have something to do with communication and families which is why they caught my attention.
I am pretty sure that in the late 1980s everyone watched ALF. ALF was an alien life form that crashed into a house and became part of their family. Much of the humor of the show was ALF trying to adjust to life on earth and trying not to eat the family cat. In one episode of ALF, Alf wants to be the leader of the newly formed neighborhood watch against crime and Willie, the dad of the family, keeps refusing. It leads to this exchange:
“Alf: Why not? Give me a reason.
Willie: Because you don't put responsibility in irresponsible hands.
Alf: That's not a reason! That's a platitude!
Willie: Then, because I said so!
Alf: And that's dogma! Actually, that's worse than dogma. That's dog manure.”
In 1994, a funny western came out called ‘Maverick’ starring Mel Gibson, James Garner, and Jodie Foster. It also starred James Coburn which is always a favorite of mine. Anyway, in the movie, the character Bret Maverick, plated by Mel Gibson, repeatedly quotes things that "my old pappy always used to say" which from what I gather is from the old black and white TV show in the 1950s. This plays out for laughs in the final scene when his pappy visits and complains that he never said most of the things that his son, Bret, claims he said. The characters say:
“Bret's Father: I never said that once. You've misquoted me all your life. I'm sick of it.
Bret: The things you said were always so dumb I had to improve on them.”
In 1998, a cinematic comedic masterpiece for the ages from Adam Sandler, ‘The Waterboy,’
came out and dazzled audiences with humor and wisdom. It is absolutely one of those movies that probably could not be made today. In ‘The Waterboy,’ Bobby's mother gives him lots of advice, but it's all intended to keep him under her thumb and at home and out of the world. She mostly does this by saying everything she doesn't like is "from the debbil!" At one point, Bobby is in class and they are discussing emotions and Bobby lays out wisdom he heard from his mother:
“Bobby: Mama says alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
The wisdom is not well-received and a fight ensues between Bobby and his teacher.
In 2017, ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ came out and has Tom Holland’s Spiderman learning the super hero ropes under Iron Man Tony Stark as he faces off against the bad guy, Adrian Toomes, played by Michael Keaton. In one scene, Tony Stark tells Peter Parker to stop chasing Adrian Toomes and let the deputies and police get him. When Peter asks for a reason, Tony says:
“Tony: Look, forget the flying vulture guy, please.
Peter: Why?
Tony: Because- why? Because I said so!”
I mention these fun and hopefully thought-provoking scenes from entertainment because communication between people is often difficult. Communication in families and with children and preteens and teenagers and adult children is often complicated and unsettling and sometimes is filled with tension:
* It might be we have set up boundaries and children constantly want to know why and they disagree with us about our decisions.
* It could be they feel like the things we say are old fashioned and need to be improved upon.
* It is also possible that as we raise our children and grandchildren that something we teach them brings them into conflict with those around them because the world or culture changes.
* Our kids and grandkids may have questions to aspects of life that press on them that we never had to deal with when we were their age.
For all these reasons and more, we are talking about communication in the family today and looking to the Bible for answers and help and encouragement. More specifically, we are talking about the importance of spiritual conversations in the life of a family and the purpose of those types of conversations and the truth that the Bible shares with us about them.
SERMON SERIES AND CHALLENGE
Continuing today and then also next week (3 weeks total) we will be digging into Deuteronomy 6 as well as some other passages as we focus on the topic of parenting. Even if you are not a parent or grandparent, make sure you do not tune out because the principles and truths that we find in the Bible apply to us no matter the life stage we are in because all of us need to be having God-honoring Jesus-centered and Holy Spirit-led conversations with the people around us.
Last week we talked about Christian Habitudes.
This week we are focusing on having Spiritual Conversations.
Next week, we will dig into parenting amidst the Chaos of Culture.
These three sermons are not the complete conversation by the way. Each week there will be a time after the sermon to follow-up and sit down and dig deeper into the topics that were discussed and think and pray how to apply these principles specifically to your family. I challenge you to make time for these times. For today (7/2) the follow-up is today at 4pm. Please come. This morning we are going to talk about the need and the reason for spiritual conversations and this afternoon we are going to talk more specifically and practically on how to actually have a spiritual conversation. By the way, the principles that we will talk about this afternoon apply to anyone in any situation when you want to have a spiritual conversation, so everyone please make plans to come. Please come.
WHY DO WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PARENTING?
One of the first questions we might ask is… why do we need to talk about parenting? Why dedicate some time to this particular topic? The reason we need to talk about parenting and maturing our children and grandchildren in Christ is because it is our calling and responsibility as parents and grandparents to mature our children in the Lord. God-honoring Jesus-centered and Holy Spirit-led conversations, as we will see in a minute, is absolutely part of that maturing process.
All of us need help in maturing our children along in the Christian faith in order to train them up in the best possible way so that their hearts are open to the Lord. It is no easy task to raise a child to be a Christian in a world that pushes back against the truth of Christ in school, socially, with regards to identity, gender, sexuality, entertainment, music, literature, and almost every aspect of culture. What is often communicated as important from our culture is self-centered, human-centered, money-centered, or politically-centered and so talking with our children and grandchildren about all the issues they face keeping God and Christ and the Spirit and the Bible in mind is extremely important. If you are not talking about these issues and establishing a sound God-informed base then someone else is and building a different foundation.
TRANSITION
Maturing children in the Lord is important now. It has always been important. It was important when Moses wrote to the Israelites. We will begin in the book of Deuteronomy. Chapter 6 comes on the heels of chapter 5 which contains the 10 commandments and the desire that God’s people follow Him and do not turn to the right or the left, but follow Him on the narrow path for their whole lives. Chapter 6 jumps in after chapter 5 and lets us know that these commands are not just for us, but for our families and children and everyone around us. We read all of Deuteronomy 6 last week and focused on verses 1-7. This week I’d like to focus on verses 20-25.
READ DEUTERONOMY 6:20-25 (ESV)
“When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the LORD our God has commanded you?’ 21 then you shall say to your son, ‘We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the LORD showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. 23 And He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in and give us the land that He swore to give to our fathers. 24 And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as we are this day. 25 And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the LORD our God, as He has commanded us.’”
DEUTERONOMY 6:20-25 EXPLAINED
The first important truth from verses 20-25 that I noticed is the very first word of verse 20. The word seems inconsequential, but really is not. Verse 20 begins with the word “when.” The situation that Moses is addressing is not theory or a possibility or something that is questionable, but is a sure event or exchange that will happen. Moses identifies an exchange that absolutely will happen for the people to whom he is writing.
The people of God are about to enter into the Promised Land of Israel that was given to them by divine decree (6:3). God will be with them and they will take the land and have cities they did not build and fields they did not clear and will be a blessed people among all those on the earth (6:10-12). They will be a people who are marked by the Name of God and Moses tells the Israelites that it is an absolute certainty that conversations will happen because their lives and their culture and their way of life will be different than those around them. They are the people of God and so eventually spiritual conversations will happen about how they got there.
By the way, this is not the only place where the adult believers in God were prepped with the eventuality that children will ask about spiritual realities. Just one book later in the Old Testament in Joshua 4, the same situation occurs as the people actually enter the land and Joshua and the people are instructed on what and how and why to share about how the Israelites crossed into the Promised Land. The ultimate reason is given in Joshua 4:24:
READ JOSHUA 4:24 (ESV)
“so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever.”
SUMMARY: These spiritual conversations are a “when” not an “if.”
The second important truth from verses 20-25 that I noticed is the identity of the person doing the asking and the seeking when this type of spiritual conversation happens. Moses, in verse 20, points out specifically that the children of the people of God will want to know why they live where they live, dress as they do, eat according to certain laws, and live a life differently than the nations around them.
The. Kids. Will. Ask.
Moses could have instructed the people to prepare to share with the nations around them about their way of life and why they follow God in the manner that they were commanded, but the first responsibility given to Godly people is to explain to their children about God. The children are the priority. The grandchildren are the priority. That certainly does not mean that the Israelites were not to speak to others about God, but they were charged with raising their children in the Lord first.
By the way, this emphasis is not just in the Old Testament. In 1 Timothy 3, as the Apostle Paul is explaining to Timothy about church leadership, he gives some principles that will guide him. In 1 Timothy 3:4, Paul states about elders that the children in their home should be a priority. 1 Timothy 3:4 states:
READ 1 TIMOTHY 3:4 (ESV)
“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?”
These types of God-honoring Jesus-centered and Holy Spirit-led conversations are a normal eventuality with our children and grandchildren that should be prepared for, looked forward to, and treasured.
On another note, Christians should always be prepared to talk about spiritual matters with anyone we come across. The Apostle Peter says this clearly:
READ 1 PETER 3:15 (ESV)
“But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect”
SUMMARY: These spiritual conversations are a “when” not an “if” with our children.
The third important truth from verses 20-25 that I noticed is that it is the calling of parents to fully answer their children’s questions about God’s intentions. This takes preparation and thought and an understanding and faith in God on the part of the parents and grandparents because God is not fully known to us. God is far beyond us and yet He has shared Himself with us. Not all questions have answers, but the most important questions do have answers from the mouth of God. These are conversations to prepare for on a regular basis and are extremely important.
Verses 21-25 show a parent or grandparent that focuses on some very specific truths when it comes to God:
* Verses 21-23: God’s actions and His will in the history of their family
* Verse 22: God’s almighty power and the existence of miracles by His Hand
* Verse 23: God is a promise maker and a promise keeper
* Verse 24: God is worthy of our love and fear and respect
* Verse 24: God is always good
* Verse 25: God’s righteousness and what that looks like in a fallen sinful world
* Verse 25: Obedience to God and what that looks like in a fallen sinful world
The Israelite parents and grandparents were given the responsibility to share and explain and prayerfully talk about all these issues and more with their children and grandchildren. God is sometimes a mystery and His will and His character and His actions and His Word must be talked about and explained and discussed and questioned and studied. This is part of spiritual maturity.
SUMMARY: These spiritual conversations are a “when” not an “if” with our children all about God.
TRANSITION
As I was thinking about this topic and the issues of family communication and spiritual conversations, I see Deuteronomy 6 stating that such conversations fall squarely into our laps as parents and grandparents. Also as I was thinking and praying over these verses, a word picture from Jesus came to mind that I believe is important and appropriate as we think about these truths.
Jesus often taught by parables and word pictures because that was part of their culture (first), but also (second) such things are effective in teaching and helping people to remember. The word picture which connects nicely with Deuteronomy 6 comes from Matthew 7 at the tail end of what we traditionally call the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7).
What does Jesus say?
READ MATTHEW 7:24-27 (ESV)
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of Mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
MATTHEW 7:24-27 EXPLAINED
Jesus tells a short and important parable in which the characters are two builders who construct similar buildings with different results. One builder is wise. One builder is foolish. In the passage we just read, Jesus is quite clear about the foundation of each of the buildings and makes the foundations of each of the buildings important for the foundations are the point of the parable.
Remember, Jesus of Nazareth was a carpenter by trade and so He knew about construction, wood, brick, mortar, tools, and everything needed to build a house. We need to realize that it is Jesus the Son of God that is giving us this parable, but also Jesus of Nazareth Who is an experienced carpenter. Foundations are important.
Jesus says that anyone who builds their house must first put it on some kind of foundation. Jesus tells a parable about two builders in which one chooses a solid foundation; the other a soft foundation. The parable is not rocket science and it is not difficult to understand. The principle is that if you build your structure on a solid foundation it will weather the storms and if the foundation is upon something soft or malleable; the storms will get the better of the structure.
Again, not rocket science.
What we need to realize is that Jesus is telling us this parable for a reason. The building principle applies not only when building a structure such as a house or a tower, but also our lives and our families and as I thought more about it… as we raise our children and grandchildren.
Jesus says very clearly without any guessing in verse 24 that the foundation needs to be Him. The foundation needs to be faith in Jesus Christ. Faith in His words. Putting into practice the way of life described in the Bible. Not just mouthing it or faking it or getting around to it, but actually “putting it into practice.” The foundation in Jesus Christ is the foundation that matters for our lives, our families, our careers, our businesses, our society, and even our nation. This morning we are most concerned about our children and grandchildren and they are our focus.
SUMMARY
So, the word picture that Jesus gives us to encourage us and challenge us is that we must help our children and grandchildren build their lives on Him because He is the only solid foundation. This is the same message from Deuteronomy 6 in which children are asking all about life and the parents are to direct them to proper thoughts about faith and God and His character. The principle is one and the same: Parents and grandparents must be ready, willing, and able to have inevitable and expected spiritual conversations with our children and grandchildren all about God in order to help them build a solid foundation for life in Jesus Christ.
Parents and grandparents must be ready, willing, and able to have inevitable and expected spiritual conversations with our children and grandchildren all about God in order to help them build a solid foundation for life in Jesus Christ.
I want to encourage you to come back this afternoon and learn a specific way to have spiritual conversations with your children and grandchildren and then even by extension anyone else in your life.
TRANSITION/CONCLUSION
As we head towards the conclusion this morning, I want to conclude with some more reasons why having spiritual conversations with your children and grandchildren are important.
MORE REASONS TO HAVE GOD-HONORING JESUS-CENTERED HOLY SPIRIT-LED CONVERSATIONS
#1 If you do not have spiritual conversations with your children about God, Jesus, or the Bible, then someone else will and will have a greater influence over your children than you. I don’t know about you, but if anyone is going to mess up my children or be of benefit to them, it is going to be me.
#2 As you prepare to have good spiritual conversations with your children and grandchildren, you yourself will grow as a believer. As you and I press forward in helping another in their faith, we ourselves always grow.
#3 If you do not have spiritual conversations about spiritual matters or meaning of life, other influences will fill that empty space. Our society has a false answer for every question or concern your child has and they will find an answer if we are not there.
#4 According to Barna Research, self-identified Christians who have attended a worship service within the past month and strongly agree their faith is very important to their life — half (51%) are “very” concerned about their children’s spiritual development. Please be part of the half that cares very much about your children and grandchildren as it relates to faith.
(barna.gloo.us/articles/childrens-faith-formation).
PRAYER
INVITATION
As we close today, I would like for all of us to reflect on the foundation we have for our lives. The reflection is a very simple one. Do you have Jesus Christ as the foundation of your life? That’s it… that is the reflection. The beginning of that foundation is accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior by confessing Him and being immersed into Christ for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38). Is that a decision you need to make today? Do you need Jesus as the Solid Rock on which you build your life? Confess Him today!
