Every Careless Word
Matthew 12:36-37
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
In short: we need to be careful what we say because God will judge us by the things we say.
We would expect Jesus to condemn profane or vile uses of the tongue, but idle words?
What are idle words? Very simply put, are those words that we say without concern for their impact upon others:
• The words we use in venting our anger.
• The words we use when we do not accept responsibility for our own actions.
• The words we say out of jealously or envy.
• The words we use just to inflict hurt upon another person.
And these words relate to:
• The things we say to friends and family.
• Those things we say in church when certain groups come together.
• Those things we say to give a subtle hint of criticism of another person.
• And yes, gossip!
Gossip is one of the most dangerous things inside the church as well as outside of the church. Gossip is the type of thing that causes much pain and grief, all because we cannot keep things our brother and sister say in confidence. And the dictionary defines gossip as idle talk.
Who is the man who desires life, And loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
Psalm 34:12-14
Let us be aware that our mouths can speak an abundance of blessings as well as a truckload of curses. So, let us keep from evil, allowing peace to be about us always.
We need to be aware that God will judge us for those things we say casually, especially if those words bring hurt to another person. Remember that God looks upon the heart and as Matthew 15:17-20 tells us:
“Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”
So, we see that those careless words are what our heart truly feels. And this is the very thing that Jesus was speaking about in verses 36-37 of chapter 12 when he was speaking against the Pharisees, that the words of their mouths showed the true nature of their heart.
An old proverb goes like this: “It is better to remain quiet and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt.”
One of the worst things that we can do is to say something hurtful to another person and than say “I was just kidding.” Or “Can’t you take a joke?”
As the Bible tells us, no you were not kidding, because that was what your heart was truly feeling. And no, I can’t take a joke, because to me it was not funny. We need to think carefully about what we are about to say, because in venting your thoughts you may cause another person great pain.
Every Careless Word; be careful because they can bring hurt.
Jude 1:9 tells us that even God’s angels reframe from saying careless words against others.
Yet Michael the archangel, in contending with the devil, when he disputed about the body of Moses, dared not bring against him a reviling accusation, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!”
So, what makes us believe that we can say anything we want and not receive judgment for our actions?
Proverbs 17:28 puts a clear picture on what we should do when we feel like uttering a casual comment about another person:
Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.
This scripture encourages us to speak less, rather than saying something offensive.
I have found that it is best to think before you speak. As one of my teachers used to say: “Put brain in gear before opening mouth.”
So, think before you utter those careless words:
• T – is it Thoughtful?
• H – is it Helpful?
• I – is it inspiring?
• N – is it necessary?
• K – is it kind?
Sometimes we get so caught up in only thinking of ourselves that we do not give concern to the feelings of others. And in doing this we injure another person by what we say because no thought about them were put into what you said.
But there shall by no means enter it anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.
Revelation 21:27
Heaven is a place that will not allow those of us who cannot control our tongues to enter. Moses was not allowed to enter the Promised Land because he could not control his tongue, when God asked him to speak to the rock to bring forth water; but instead yelled at the people and struck the rock. In his anger he disobeyed God. That is what happens to us when we cannot control out tongues, saying words of hurt causing another to stumble.
There is a saying that goes: “Blessed are they who have nothing to say and cannot be persuaded to say it.” And it means that although we may have a thought in our mind about something or someone, we reframe from saying it. In our speech we sometimes believe that what we say is well-meaning, but who is it well-meaning to?
Proverbs 10:19 tells us:
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
James 1:19-20 also tells us:
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
If we follow these scriptures, we will be in less danger of saying something offensive. As proverbs is warning us to think before we speak and use our words very carefully. And James says that if we are putting more effort into listening, then it becomes hard for us to speak much!
Let us look at some words and phrases of importance:
• The six most important words: “I admit I made a mistake.”
• The five most important words: “You did a good job.”
• The four most important words: “What is your opinion?”
• The three most important words: “If you please.”
• The two most important words: “Thank you.”
• The one most important word: “We.”
• The least important word: “I”
So, when we give thought to the other person we are less likely to speak an evil word against them or toward them.
Again, in James 3:2 he cautions us about the careless words that flow from our mouths. Here he speaks of being self-controlled in our speech.
For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.
James is telling us that we will stumble in many areas because we have not yet reached perfection, but the person who has learned self-control of the tongue has reached a level of perfection because they are now able to restrain the member of the body that proves the most resistant to correction. The tongue resists control more than any other area of our behavior.
Every careless word; pours judgment upon your head. (Tell Bruce Almighty scene)
As Christians, we should only be speaking words that uplift and edify each other, words of encouragement that glorify God. Because Ephesians 4:29 tells us:
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
And Proverbs 15:4 says this:
A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
Do you need to speak less and listen more?
Do you need to be more careful about the kind of humor you use?
Do you need to be more considerate to others with the things you say?
When tempted to say something destructive, read Proverbs 15:1-4
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you figure out if your words build up or tear down others.
