In Forrest Gump, Forrest's lifelong friend Jenny had endured a childhood of abuse and neglect at the hands of her father. In one scene, Forrest and Jenny visit her old house, and Forrest watches as Jenny throws stone after stone at the weather-beaten old house which held so many painful memories for her.
When Jenny finally quit throwing rocks and began to cry, Forrest said, "Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks."
In the book entitled, Head Trash we are told that there are 5 emotional wounds that we all suffer from:
a) Betrayal- We all have been lied to or had someone who did not live up to our expectations.
b) Injustice- We all have someone who has done us wrong
c) Humiliation-We’ve all had someone criticize us, make us feel inferior, treat is with disrespect
d) Abandonment- We’ve all had someone in our life walk away
e) Rejection- We’ve all had someone not show up or unplug and disconnect from our life
I was listening to a Pastor once preach and he made a statement I will never forget. He said: “On every church pew is a broken heart.”
Transition:
As we meet Joseph today, we read a simple statement. It says: “When Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them...” vs. 7
Initially see how he responded to literally “facing up” to his brothers. The Bible says: “and he spoke to them harshly.” Vs. 7
The bottom line is that pain triggers our emotions. It did with Joseph and it does with you and me.
Yet, Joseph is a guy that shows us how to face up to our emotional wounds.
This morning, let’s probe into Joseph’s life and look around a bit. As we do let’s look into a place in our hearts that is as invisible to our eyes but not to God’s.
I Samuel 16:7 says: “Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart. “
In Genesis 42 God lets us look at Joseph’s heart from His viewpoint. As we look at Joseph’s heart we learn a lot about ours, as well as, how ours can be healed.
What’s the pathway to emotional heart healing? Joseph shows us. God heals emotional wounds through walking with us through a process. We see each step in Joseph’s life experience as God merges His steps with ours.
Transitional Sentence: What are the steps God takes us through to heal our emotional wounds?
I. Step #1- We Step Up and Face Up To Our Pain
vs. 7-9a- “When Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them, but he disguised himself to them and spoke to them harshly. And he said to them. Where have you come from? And they said, From the land of Canaan, to buy food. But Joseph had recognized his brothers although they did not recognized him. Joseph remembered the dreams which he had about them...”
Explanation:
Twice in this passage we read the statement,; “Joseph recognized them.” It is obvious that Joseph knew he would have to face up to his brothers at some time in his life.
In Genesis 37:2 scripture tells us that Joseph was 17 when his brothers sold him to the Ishmaelites. Likewise, in the previous chapter we read that Joseph was 30 when he was placed in the position of Prime Minister of Egypt. In the meantime, there was 7 good years of harvest followed by 7 years of famine.
We are not sure how many years passed before Joe’s brothers made their way to Egypt but if you do the math you will understand that famine began when Joe was 37 years old. Therefore, 20 years; two decades had passed since he saw his brothers.
A lot of time had passed. A lot of pain had been endured. He endured slavery, prison, and problems all stemming from his brothers choices.
Now, the time had come for him to face up to them. He had to address his abusers. He had to face the boys who sold him and remembered that some had wanted to slaughter him. If it had not been for Reuben’s suggestion to sell him; they would have slaughtered him. ( Genesis 37:21)
In verse 9 we read something else interesting. After seeing his brothers, not only did he speak harshly to them but the Bible says that he “remembered the dreams which he had about them.”
Many nights were spent remembering. In the day, his conscious mind thought about them. In the night, his subconscious mind dreamed about them. Bottom line: He had many nightmares about them, as well as, daytime memories about them.
What is interesting is that it was dreams and the interpretation of Pharaoh’s dreams that got him to the palace; yet all the time; Joseph was struggling his own dreams and nightmares.
God records this because He wants us to know that he is not absent or ignorant of our pain. He doesn’t devalue or depreciate our pain; as a matter of fact, He deadeyes our pain.
Listen: God knew Joseph’s pain and He knows your pain.
Psalm 56:8 says: “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each on in your book.”
Do you want to know where God is when you hurt? He’s right next to you just like he was with Joseph. He is the shepherd of our hearts and souls.
Illustration: The upside-down sheep
Phillip Keller was a shepherd and a Christian writer. He told about the nature of sheep. He said, “When sheep get overwhelmed and “cast down” they have a tendency of laying down on their back. Not only does this make them easy prey for predators, but gas builds up in the sheep’s stomach and cuts off its air passage and they suffocate.”
For this reason, the shepherd has to keep his eye closely on every individual sheep. If he sees a “cast down” sheep he restore the sheep yet it takes patience. If he picks the sheep up immediately it will fight and make things worse.
His process is to massage the sheep’s legs restoring the circulation back in its legs so it will be able to stand, then he speaks reassuring words saying things like “you’re going to make it.”
Then at the right time he will gently turn over the sheep and it will be stable and ready to stand on its own. From this, the sheep will trust the shepherd and follow him most naturally.
Application:
I find it interesting that Jesus calls Himself the “Good Shepherd” and refers to us as “sheep of His pasture.”
He knows our breaking points, but He also knows how to restore us when we are “cast down.”
The process might seem a bit lingered and labored yet the restoration process is just as important as the rescue.
One thing I know about emotional pain is that it takes time to process through it. There are not short cuts in restoring and healing emotional wounds.
David said in Psalm 109, “My heart is wounded within me.” Internal wounds are always more serious than external wounds—always. Emotional wounds always take longer to heal than physical wounds.
For years God was preparing Joseph to see his brothers again. God had him going through process to restore and heal the wounds his brothers inflicted on him. Yet, like a “Great” Physician, he was present and part of the process.
We often get frustrated because we know God can heal and restore immediately. Yet, you, I, and Joseph are like sheep; and our nature and healing is sheep-like.
This is why we need to “Cast all our cares upon Him” I Peter 5:7. God’s process of healing physical wounds is two-fold: They require special attention and time. The same is true when it comes to our emotional wounds. They take time and attention.
If your heart is bruised and wounded today; do like Joseph; trust God’s process. His desire is always to heal and deliver. Step up and face up to each step of the process God takes you through.
Transitional Sentence: What are the steps God takes us through to heal our emotional wounds?
II. Step #2- Don’t Side-Step The Benefits of Your Pain
vs. 11-24-“We are the sons of one man; we are honest men; your servants are not spies.”
Explanation:
As we read the conversation between Joseph and his brothers, something should strike you immediately. Notice how these brothers introduce themselves. Notice they say: “We are honest men.” Vs. 11
Yet, immediately notice what they do. They lie.
In verse 13 they say: “Your servants are twelve brothers in all, the sons of a man in the land of Canaan; and behold, the youngest is with our father today, and one is no longer alive. “
Do you see what they are doing? They are perpetuating the lie that they told their Dad twenty years before. They are sticking to their story. They are refusing to come clean. Yet, in poetic justice the person they are saying is dead is standing right in front of them!
As the story progresses Joseph demands Benjamin be brought to him, throws all but one of them in prison (where by the way he spent a series of years) for three days and then Simeon was bound (vs. 24) and the brothers were sent off to fetch Benjamin.
Yet, notice what happens in the meantime. The brothers got honest.
Look at verse 21: “Then they said to one another, Truly we are guilty concerning our brother because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen; therefore the distress has come on us.”
Look at verse 22: “Rueben answered them saying against the boy; you would not listen? Now comes the reckoning for his blood.”
Do you see what is happening? God is at work. He’s convicting. He’s dealing with their hearts. He’s at work. They not only came face to face with their brother; but they were coming face to face with the obstacle between them and God. They knew God was bringing truth to the men who were living a lie.
Yet, likewise, God was working in Joseph’s life. Here we have a man that they thought was an Egyptian say something dumbfounding. He said in verse 18: “I fear God.”
The title here is not for the god or gods of the Egyptians, this is the word “Elohim.” He was saying, “I believe, respect, follow, and fear the God of Israel!”
Listen: God was at work in the pain of the brothers as they were being contained and convicted; and God was working in the pain of Joseph who was being confronted and called to serve God in a foreign land.
God was at work in their pain!
Illustration: Corrie Ten Boom shakes hand with Nazi Prison guard
Corrie Ten Boom who was a woman who suffered in the concentration camps under Nazi control because she helped Jews escape Nazi persecution during the Holocaust in WWII.
Years later she told her story all over the world. Yet, little did she know that the day would come when she would come face to face with one of the prison guards who persecuted her. In a church in Munich he showed up to her talk and this was her experience:
“I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. It was the first time since my release that I had been face to face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze,” she said. “‘You mentioned Ravensbrück in your talk,’ he was saying. ‘I was a guard in there.’ No, he did not remember me. ‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein’–again the hand came out–’will you forgive me?’ “I stood there–I whose sins had every day to be forgiven–and could not. Betsie had died in that place–could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?” she added. “It could not have been many seconds that he stood there, hand held out, but to me, it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. “For I had to do it–I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us.”
Application:
God is always at work in wounds, pain, and scars. Think about the cross of Jesus- God’s greatest work was done through Jesus’ wounds, pain, and scars and the same is true in yours.
God did not waste Jesus’ pain and He doesn’t want you to waste yours as well.
The Bible says God will intersect your pain and use it.
The Bible says: “In our trouble God has comforted us—and this, too, to help you: to show you from our personal experience how God will tenderly comfort you when you undergo these same sufferings. He will give you the strength to endure.” 2 Corinthians 1:6 -7 (TLB)
God expects you to use your pain to help others. Whatever mistake, failure, trouble, trial, or bad decision you’ve experienced, God says, “I’ll still use it for good in your life.
This is called redemptive suffering.
God doesn’t want you to waste that hurt; he wants to redeem your suffering. You can always help people more through your weaknesses than through your strengths.
Telling someone all the things you’re good at won’t help someone in pain. But sharing with them how God has walked with you through your pain could change their life.
That’s how God recycles pain. He’s a expert. He endured the pain of Calvary and redeemed us through it, and he can use the pain you experience as well.
Listen: Don’t waste your pain. Give it to Jesus and trust Him to redeem it and use it instead of you wallowing in it. Don’t let your pain label you as a victim; let Jesus take your pain and use it for victory.
Joseph took that second step and God showed up and redeemed the suffering!
Transitional Sentence: What are the steps God takes us through to heal our emotional wounds?
III. Step #3- Step Out of the Cage of Pain
vs. 25-28-“What is this that God has done to us?”
Explanation:
Unfortunately, there are many people with pain who refuse to be healed. It is easy to be paralyzed and to pause. Often this leads us to a victim mentality rather than a victor mentality.
Joseph could have allowed his 20 years of pain to define his life. He could have sunk down and sat around and labeled himself as a victim. Instead, he became a victor.
He began taking steps based on who he really was: God had made him the Prime Minister of Israel, and he had made his brothers subservient to him.
Therefore, in verse 25 he gave orders to deal with his brothers. In verse 25 he gave orders to fill their grain bags with grain and restore every man’s money back to them.
In verse 26, he sent them out and when they came to the next rest stop and examined their bags they noticed what had been done. Their money had been restored!!!
Notice what Joseph did. He chose to bless them. He stepped out of the cage of pain.
Listen: Imagine going to Kroger this afternoon and buying a month’s supply of food and getting home and finding enough cash in your shopping bag to cover what you just spent. How would you react?
Most of you would say, “Praise God! The Lord has provided again!” but these brothers said: “What is this that God has done to us?” They didn’t know what was going on but they knew whatever it was; God was in on it.
Listen: God is in on a whole lot more than you think He is.
These guys were confused by this thing called grace. They didn’t have a clue of what was going on---but what was going on was that Joseph was exercising his spiritual authority and position. He had the upper hand and he chose grace. He chose to step out of the cage of pain.
Years before they had the upper hand. They threw him in a well. They sold him to slavery. They made him a victim; but now that he had the upper hand he refused to stay where they put him. He would exercise His victory by blessing them instead of cursing them.
Listen: Maybe God is telling you its time today to quit being a victim and celebrate the victory God has given you. It’s time to let it go. It’s time to choose grace.
Here’s a wise truth to remember: The people who hurt you in the past can no longer hurt you unless you choose to allow them to do so. Every time you rehearse it, you’re still allowing somebody in your past to control your present.
Psalm 37:8 says, “Let go of anger and leave your rage behind. Do not be preoccupied. It only leads to evil.”
Resentment and bitterness result from holding on to your hurt and being preoccupied with it. Don’t let your mind repeatedly return to the scene of the crime. Don’t become preoccupied. Choose grace.
You can’t face the future with confidence if you’re always rehearing and rehashing and reacting to the past. It’s impossible. You can’t get on with your ministry if you’re still living in the past and you’re holding on to hurts.
How do you do that? How do you let go of your wounds? The only way to let go of your wounds is forgiveness. There is no other antidote to your hurt and pain.
You might say, “But they don’t deserve to be forgiven!” Neither did you, and yet God has forgiven you. You don’t forgive people because they deserve it.
You forgive people for two or three reasons:
1. One, God says to do it.
2. Two, God has forgiven you.
3. And three, it’s the only way to let go of your pain.
Resentment doesn’t hurt them. It hurts you. Job 18:4 says, “You are only hurting yourself with your anger.” You’ve got to release it for your own good. You’ve got to let it go.”
Ask yourself the same question the brothers asked one another. Ask: “What is this that God has done to us?” I tell you what he’s done to us. Calvary. If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed! (John 8:36) He gave you a new identity. He is in you and me!
Conclusion: The story of the eagle and the prairie chicken
Perhaps you’ve heard the children’s story about the eagle and the prairie chicken?
It goes like this:
“One day a prairie chicken found an egg and sat on it until it hatched. Unbeknownst to the prairie chicken, the egg was an eagle egg, abandoned for some reason. That’s how an eagle came to be born into a family of prairie chickens. While the eagle is the greatest of all birds, soaring above the heights with grace and ease, the prairie chicken doesn’t even know how to fly. In fact, prairie chickens are so lowly that they eat garbage. Predictably, the little eagle, being raised in a family of prairie chickens, thought he was a prairie chicken. He walked around, ate garbage, and clucked like a prairie chicken. One day he looked up to see a majestic bald eagle soar through the air, dipping and turning. When he asked his family what it was, they responded, “It’s an eagle. But you could never be like that because you are just a prairie chicken.” Then they returned to pecking the garbage. The eagle spent his whole life looking up at eagles, longing to join them among the clouds. It never once occurred to him to lift his wings and fly. The eagle died thinking he was just a prairie chicken.
The moral of the story? If you are an eagle, don’t spend your life in a chicken coop.
Listen: You were born to fly! Isaiah 40:31: “They that wait upon the Lord (pursue God) shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.
Joseph would not stay in the coop of his pain; he knew who he was and flew with grace. How about you?
