Dads Who Disciple
1 Thessalonians 2:10-12; Ephesians 6:4; Malachi 4:6
Rev. Brian Bill
June 17-18, 2023
A couple months ago, Beth hosted a baby shower for our youngest daughter Megan. BTW, Megan and Lucas have been entrusted with a new baby named Mack Josef!
Guys, how many of you have ever been roped into going to a baby shower or a wedding shower? I’ve only attended one and immediately started looking for the exits. They played an awkward shower game and just served finger food and Quiche. I kept looking for the pizza or the taco bar.
A couple of my sisters were planning to come to the shower and let me know they were bringing my dad. I immediately called my dad, thinking he was going soft on me. We get right to the point when we talk on the phone. I said, “Hey, what’s the deal with you going to a baby shower?” He replied, “What? I’d never go to one of those things. I’m driving down with your sisters so you and I can go out and do guy stuff!”
When my dad arrived, he didn’t even want to go in the house because it was filling with shower guests. He cautiously entered the front door, greeted Megan, and then gave me a head nod and said, “Let’s get out of here!” That’s all the encouragement I needed.
We went straight to Steel Plow for some deep-fried cheese curds and $15 hamburgers. When we were done, we headed to Hy-Vee so he could stock up on some Boetje’s mustard. Then we went to Menard’s and stumbled around for about 45 minutes (how many of you know Menard’s has a second floor?). Can you tell we were burning time? After we started doing laps in Menard’s, my dad declared, “Let’s go to Whitey’s. My treat.” I said, “I’m in.”
After being gone nearly three hours, we thought it would be safe to return home. Unfortunately, our timing was off, and my dad had to go in the house while shower shrapnel was still going on. He sniffed at the quiche he was offered and before long, he was outside by his truck, waiting for my sisters to haul him back to the Promised Land. I thanked him for coming and he thanked me for getting him out of the shower. We gave each other a manly handshake and grunted that we’d see each other soon.
Dads, we want to say thanks today. Normally the pattern for preachers, me included, has been to magnify moms on Mother’s Day and to diss dads on Father’s Day. One article captures this sentiment, “Many men say they are tired of the ‘put-down’ cards and would like some affirmation for a change…”
I hope you will find this sermon affirming for a change. I celebrate the commitment to fathering that I see in a number of young dads, most especially in my four sons-in-law – Matt, Jamie, Brad, and now Lucas. They’re all much better dads than I was and very involved with their children. I see the same here at Edgewood. There are many devoted dads in this church who play and pray with their kids as they live on mission in their family. We see you, dads. We celebrate how you are making young disciples and we want to give you some affirmation for a change.
I recognize that for many of you this day is difficult because your dad is no longer here or has dropped the ball somehow. The U.S. Census Bureau stated recently that we have become a fatherless nation. About 10 years ago, 33% of children in America went to bed without their biological father in the home. Today, according to James Merritt, 43% of American kids live in a home without their biological father. Sadly, the U.S. owns the title of the world’s leader in fatherlessness.
Some of us have been blessed with tremendous models of what fatherhood was meant to be. But there are others who have been ignored, neglected, abused, or abandoned. Perhaps the father of your children is absent or emotionally distant. For you and others, Father’s Day is anything but happy.
I sincerely hope that you will allow our Heavenly Father to meet what is lacking in your life. May you experience the truth of Psalm 68:5: “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.”
On this Father’s Day weekend, let’s turn to Scripture and pray the Lord’s Prayer together.
Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.
Amen.
My aim is to both encourage and exhort dads to be about the task of making disciples in your families. If you’re a dad, you are called to live on mission as a missionary to your kids. Here’s our main idea: Dads and granddads are designed to disciple the next generation of disciples.
Fellow disciplemaking dads, here are 5 ways we want to say thanks today.
1. Thanks for being a good example. Notice in 1 Thessalonians 2:10 how Paul and his ministry partners point to how they behaved among the believers: “…how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.” They were “holy,” which means they were set apart from sin so they could serve God’s people. They were “righteous,” meaning their character was upright. And they were “blameless in their conduct” which is literally translated, “not able to find fault in.”
This verse makes me think of Pastor Chris, our youth pastor. For the past 23 years, Chris has served in the Rock Island Fire Department. Chris will be retiring from this role and will be able to devote even more time to our growing student ministry. Listen to part of a tribute from Greg Marty, the Fire Marshall:
As EMS Coordinator, Lt. Rogers has drastically changed the service delivery model of the Rock Island Fire Department Paramedic Ambulance Service. By expanding our capabilities through new training, techniques, and equipment, Lt. Rogers has successfully increased the survivability of pre-hospital cardiac arrest victims. Cardiac arrest victims in Rock Island now enjoy a chance of survival that is 5 times greater than the national average.
Lt. Rogers quickly became an invaluable resource to the UnityPoint EMS system and was tasked with writing the current version of the EMS protocols which paramedics and EMTs all across the QCA now use for the delivery of care at multiple agencies.
One of the most intangible aspects of Lt. Rogers’ tenure is that he was a friend, a listening ear, and a trusted ally to any member of the department who was having a difficult time.
When I complimented Chris and thanked him for living on mission in our community, he said the most important words came from his son Gabe who posted this tribute: “I am beyond proud of all the hard work and dedication you have put into being an incredible leader, father, man of God, firefighter, and paramedic. You inspired me to chase this career and I couldn’t have had a better role model.”
In short, Pastor Chris is a disciplemaking dad to Gabe and Sarah. Fellow dads and granddads, thanks for being a good model to your kids.
Dads and granddads are designed to disciple the next generation of disciples.
2. Thanks for making a spiritual investment in your children. According to verses 11-12, Paul’s relationship with these believers was like a dad dealing with his own children: “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.”
The phrase “each one of you,” is emphatic, meaning Paul and his team had a personal relationship and rapport with each one of these baby believers. Fellow dads and granddads, thanks for getting as close as you can to each of your kids and grandkids. In order to provide personal counsel, we must know each of their personalities. As you continue to spend time with them, thanks for focusing on these three actions.
• Exhortation. To exhort means, “to come alongside with instruction and insight in order to move someone along in a specific line of conduct.” We all need someone to encourage us, to come close and cheer us on, don’t we? This word is similar to the word used for the Holy Spirit and was used of exhorting troops to get back into the battle. Thanks, dads, for those times you see discouragement in your kids, and you’ve spoken the right words or given a hug or just listened so that they get back in the game.
One of my friends is Mike Friend. Mike is a strong believer and has been leaving me a voicemail prayer every Friday for over 15 years. When Mike’s two children were teenagers, he gave them these words of exhortation every morning:
First, you have what it takes to be a difference-maker. I love you and am proud to be your dad. Second, God has places and situations already prepared for you today where you will have the chance to be a difference-maker, to bring light where it is dark and vibrant life where things are dying – pay attention! Do not miss the opportunity to light it up and bring life! You are not in those spots by accident! He reminded them thirdly what King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
• Encouragement. The next word is sometimes translated as “comfort” and means to come alongside with sympathy and concern in order to pour courage back into kids. Kudos to you, dads, and granddads, for encouraging your kids!
• Charge. The word “charged” means “to beg earnestly” and was used of an anguished appeal from one who is a witness. Our kids need dads who will give testimony of what is right and who will challenge them to go to the next level spiritually: “to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” Disciplemaking dads urge their kids to live not for themselves but for the glory of God.
I’d like to point out that these three words: exhorting, encouraging and charging are in the present tense, which means they are to be our continual practice. Thanks, dads, and granddads, for repeatedly reinforcing these important truths as your mission in life.
Dads and granddads are designed to disciple the next generation of disciples.
3. Thanks for being intentional in your discipleship. Bless you for taking your kids deep in discipleship. Let’s head over to Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” I think Paul addresses just dads here because he knows dads and granddads especially need to hear what follows. In essence, we’re challenged to see the word “fathers” as a verb not just a noun. It’s biologically easy to become a father, but biblically challenging to actually “father” our children.
Chris Bruno writes:
“I believe the truest use of the word ‘father’ is as a verb – an action, an intention, a purpose, a catalyst that sets into motion a series of God-ward results that change the course of history for individuals and society alike. Fathering is the highest calling of God on men; whether or not they have children, all men are designed and called to father. To father is not to fill a man’s genealogical spot, but for him to engage his world with masculine intentionality that speaks life, direction, faith, vision, and delight for generations to come. Father is a verb.”
The Greek word translated “provoke” or “exasperate” means “to rouse to anger” or “to enrage.” The present tense of the verb indicates we are to stop doing something which is common and continuous. As dads and granddads, we’re called to avoid anything which will break the spirit of our children and grandchildren. Paul puts it this way in Colossians 3:21: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” When we exasperate our kids, they can become bitter and bummed out, exhausted by our expectations.
Years ago, a father in Georgia saw that his SUV was being hijacked with his son inside. The dad jumped onto the vehicle and held on tightly as it sped away. Later the son said, “It’s cool and brave for my dad to jump on a car and get his arm broken for me.” To which the dad responded, “I was beating on the window…just holding on. The thought never crossed my mind to just let him go.”
Dads and granddads, thanks for not letting go. This verse gives four ways to hold on.
• Bring them up. The word “but” shows a contrast between what we should not do and what we are to do: “bring them up.” We are to bring our children up because by nature they’ll go down. Dads, you are taking an active role in shaping the character of your children. Proverbs 29:15 says, “A child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” We’re really not just raising kids; we’re bringing them up to be well discipled adults.
• Discipline. The word “discipline” is also translated as “training” and carries with it the idea maximizing “teachable moments.” Literally, it means to “place before the mind.” It’s important to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. The purpose of punishment is to inflict penalty and focuses on the past. The purpose of discipline is to promote growth in the gospel by looking to the future. Punishment is retributive, while discipline is redemptive. Dads, thanks for training and loving your kids by disciplining them. Thanks for having the courage to do this.
• Instruct. The word “instruction” refers to any word of encouragement or reproof which leads to correct behavior. Dads are called to counsel their kids. This idea has been equated with “to catechize.” BTW, I recommend the New City Catechism.
• Evangelize. All this is to be “in the Lord.” To say that Jesus is Lord means He is the rightful king of the universe, He is ruler over the entire world, He is commander of all the armies of heaven, He is triumphant over sin and death and pain and Satan and hell, and He will one day establish His kingdom in righteousness. We’re to bring up our kids to know the path of sin is a dead-end street and the only way to be saved and satisfied is through the gospel and living for the glory of God.
The Puritans were right when they referred to the home as a little church. They were so serious about it that if a father neglected the spiritual training of his family, he could be barred from taking communion. Such an idea seems strange to us, which perhaps says more about our own laxness than it does about the strictness of the Puritans.
Disciplemaking dads provide a nurturing atmosphere in the home where children can grow up to love Christ and live on mission to their neighbors and the nations. Hey, fellow fathers, props to you for not being passive about the faith formation of your children.
Dads, way to go for recognizing you are the point man in your home. You are the coach of your team. One pastor captured the role of a disciplemaking dad well: “Your residence is a launching pad for missiles of missionary zeal aimed at the unreached peoples of the world.” Another pastor writes: “It has been said that as goes the family, so goes the world. It can also be said that as goes the father, so goes the family.”
Our goal is not merely to get our kids to outwardly conform to a list of rules. Our mandate is to develop discipled children who seek to glorify God with their lives. Thanks, dads for not just teaching your kids to do good things but to serve God and live for His glory by gathering, growing, giving, and going with the gospel. You’re doing something countercultural today by making sure you and your family are in church. Studies find that family men who attend church regularly are the most loving husbands and the most engaged fathers.
Dads, thanks for being mighty men of valor and for being the spiritual leader in your home. Thanks for teaching your kids that sports are not more important than gathering with God’s people. Lead on, mighty men of God! Your kids are waiting for you to fight for them and to never let go. Dads and granddads, thanks for knowing that if you don’t disciple your kids, Satan will.
Dads and granddads are designed to disciple the next generation of disciples.
4. Thanks for having a heart for your kids. In Malachi 4:6, the very last verse in the Old Testament, the prophet looks ahead to the ministry of John the Baptist and writes this: “And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers…”
This is God’s last word for about 400 years before the Gospels come on the scene. God’s heart is for my heart to be toward my children and for the hearts of my children to be turned toward me. Dads, this is a specific challenge to us because the heart of the matter is always a matter of the heart.
Dads, if you sense your heart is not really into parenting, and your kids don’t have much to do with you, then make this verse your personal prayer. Ask God to turn your heart to your children and ask Him to turn their hearts to you. While we cannot turn their hearts around, we are responsible to make sure our own hearts are soft toward them.
Dads and granddads are designed to disciple the next generation of disciples.
5. Thanks for praying for your children. Dads and granddads, one of the best things we can do for our kids and grandkids is to pray for them. While we can’t control their beliefs or their behavior, we can control whether or not we will pray for them. I was struck this week by the prophet Samuel’s commitment to pray.
This is what I posted on Facebook: In dealing with the children of Israel, the prophet Samuel knew he couldn’t control their behavior but he could do two things - he could pray and he could teach them the right way: “Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way.” (1 Samuel 12:23)
As a way to help pray Scripture over our seven grandchildren, the Lord led me to prepare 31 prayers for each grandchild after they were born. I simply chose a book of the Bible or a passage to form my prayers for each of them. I typed these out, had them laminated, and keep them right next to my Bible at home. I try to pray these prayers every day. While I’ve missed some days, I don’t want to sin against them by ceasing to pray for them.
We printed out the prayers for our newest grandson Mack and left a blank so you can insert the name of your child or grandchild. You can pick one up at the Welcome Center desk or at the table by the south entrance. The prayer requests for Mack come from 2 Timothy which is the book we’re studying this summer (we’ll be back in it next weekend). This document is also available on the Sermon Extras tab on the website and app.
We wanted to give you some affirmation for a change. That can be taken two ways. Some of you dads and granddads may be encouraged right now because you haven’t received much affirmation. Others of us might feel affirmed to change. That’s good. Remember Romans 2:5 says it’s the “kindness of God that leads us to repentance.”
Dads, before you leave this service feeling piled and discouraged by your own failures and inconsistency, here are some attainable action steps.
Action Steps
1. Take the next step, whatever it is. Malachi 4:2 says that God comes with healing in His wings! Let the bitterness go. Forgive. As someone has said, “One way to correct your children is to correct the example you’re setting for them.” I talked to a dad recently who took a half day off work so he could celebrate his son’s birthday. That’s a dad living on mission.
I spoke with another dad this week who told me he left a job he loved and is now working somewhere else which allows him more time to invest in his family. He’s a new Christian and believed God was asking him to take this step of obedience.
Another new dad who is also a new believer reached out recently and asked how he could listen to the same songs we sing on weekends. I put him in touch with someone younger (AJ Langworthy) since I don’t use Spotify or really understand playlists. Pastor Chad was also able to help him. Here’s his response: “Thank you for all of the help with this! We are just trying to raise Isaiah the way God wants us to and to do that we need to change our ways on some things.”
2. Join a brotherhood of believers. Guys, if you’re not in a group with other guys, can I encourage you to join one? We have four groups available each week.
• Nino Saldivar is leading a Saturday morning group at 7:30 a.m. called, “Better Man.” They’re studying this definition of manhood: “A real man follows God’s Word, loves and protects God’s woman, excels at God’s work, and betters God’s world.”
• Terry Hartley and Larry Wilson are leading a Sunday morning Men’s Group that meets at 9:00 a.m. in Room 054. They’re beginning a new study on the Book of Nehemiah.
• Pastor Kyle leads a men’s study focused on relational discipleship on Wednesday nights during Awana. They’ll begin again in the fall.
• Dell Jensen leads a group on Thursday mornings at 8:30 in Room 042. They’re studying Multiply by Francis Chan.
3. Look for ways to be a father figure to others. There are many single moms in this church who would love to have a guy spend time with her children. Props to those of you who are foster dads or have adopted. Perhaps God would prompt you to serve with Safe Families, become a mentor at Youth Hope, be involved in Intentional Discipleship, or join the team of guys leading a Bible Study in the Rock Island County Jail. In our gender confused culture, we need men who will model biblical masculinity.
Another way to disciple the next generation is by serving in our children’s ministry. Earlier this week I sent an email to Sheila, Liesl, and Becca to get a count of the number of men who are serving on Sundays, in Awana, or on the VBS team. I immediately thought of three guys, but I sensed there were more. After many emails back and forth, the actual number is 10 times that! Way to go, guys! As our children’s ministry grows, we have need for more guys (and gals).
I was very moved to read how a group of dads deployed themselves to make a difference in Shreveport, Louisiana. After 23 students at an area high school were arrested for fighting, one dad called a meeting for fathers and simply asked this question: “Hey, what can we do to get in front of this?” At the end of the meeting, a group of fathers decided to “just go to the school and patrol and walk around and show a strong male presence on the campus…it’s something about seeing a man, a positive male figure…that will make you straighten up and fly right.”
This group of 40 fathers call themselves, “Dads on Duty.” Since the arrival of Dads on Duty there have been zero fights! The leader remarked, “It’s just the little things. We’re talking to them about life skills, about grooming, about self-respect. We’re listening to our young people…our job is to parent.”
I like how Greg Laurie’s perspective: “Certainly fatherhood comes with many pressures. Some of us feel ill-equipped. We don’t think we’re up to the task. But it’s better to be an okay but learning father, than to be an absent one. Maybe you’re thinking, ‘I failed as a father.’ Well, you still have time. You can still change your behavior and attitudes toward your children and try to make up for some of the time you lost. Do what you can while you can still do it.”
If you have guilt about what kind of dad you’ve been, find forgiveness in the gospel.
Have you heard what’s happening on Father’s Day in our community? The old 74 Bridge is being blown up! This old bridge is no longer needed because the new bridge is exponentially better. As I pondered this, it made me wonder if you need to demolish any strongholds and blow up any old patterns that are no longer needed in your life. This old bridge goes nowhere, and your old life is headed nowhere. It’s time to get on the right road and cross over the bridge constructed by Jesus when He died on the cross and rose on the third day. John 5:24 says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.”
Gospel Invitation
Thank you, dads, and grandads, for being on duty in your discipleship!
Closing Video: A Father’s Day Benediction
