Raising children today is more complicated, not only because they live in an era of modern technology or a digital era in which everything is computerized, but because we compete with the world of entertainment, public schools, and even governments who have and propagate values different from ours. Many films expose violence, so "bullying" fights occur everywhere, even murder. There was a 9-year-old boy who was asked by his teacher what he wanted to be in the future; he replied with a smile, "Murderer." His teacher was shocked and thought he was joking. But it didn't. The teacher asked, "Why?" The boy said, "Like in movies and games, killing people is fun." Not to mention the sexual revolution currently targeted at children, the Warson Seven wrote an article titled "Sex Sells. And Our Children Are Prime Targets." The author warns parents to teach their children about biblical sexuality as early as possible because they have become the target of promoting sexual immorality. Netflix also exposed children's sexuality in the movie released last year.
In this situation, how should fathers raise their children rightly? Let's learn what the Bible teaches.
1. He should teach his children God's truth. Deuteronomy 6:4-7 "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
In the Old Testament, teaching children was given to parents, not priests or prophets, or in our context today, not to pastors, ministers, or Sunday School teachers.
2. He should spend time with his children! How can a father teach his children if he doesn't spend time with his children? Father has many responsibilities. In some cultures, he is the breadwinner or provides for his family's needs. Because of that, some fathers work hard and long hours. As a result, they ignore another responsibility: raising their children. They are too busy with their jobs and have no time with their children. As a result, they may successfully fulfill their family's financial needs but not their children's emotional needs. Some fathers, probably because they are too young, immature, and irresponsible, are not ready to have children. Therefore, they ignore and even abandon their children. Research shows that the absence of a father has caused so many problems in their children's lives. This video shows it. (Play: FD 2022 Absence of Father)
3. He should pray daily for his children. As parents, we are limited. We can only watch our children sometimes. When they go to college, we rarely see them. But we can always pray for them. 1 Chronicles 29:19 recorded David's prayer for his son, Solomon: "And give to my son Solomon a perfect heart to keep Your commandments, Your testimonies, and Your statutes, and to do them all, and to build the temple, for which I have made provision." What a beautiful prayer! Job 1:5 also shows a beautiful blessing from a devoted father: "When the days of feasting had completed their cycle, Job would send and consecrate them, rising up early in the morning and offering burnt offerings according to the number of them all; for Job said, "Perhaps my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." Thus, Job did continually."
4. He should not force his children to follow what he wants. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and [or even] when he is old he will not depart from it." 'In the way he should go' is literally 'according to his way.' It may mean according to his personality, temperament, responses, or stage in life. On the other hand, it could tell how he ought to go. The Hebrew grammar permits either interpretation. However, the context favors the latter view. 'Way' in Proverbs usually means a person's path through life, not one's personality, disposition, or stage in life. Consequently, the verse says the parent should train a child in the way of wisdom to live in fear of God.
5. He should be an excellent example for his children. Paul says to Titus, and all of us in Titus 2:7-8, "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us." Children often model their behaviors after their examples. Likely, your kids watch and observe your actions without you even knowing. When they do, what do they see? What do they hear? How do your activities contribute to their interactions with their siblings and friends? How can you guide your kids to set a good example?
An article shared five ways dads can be good examples of great men.
1. Honor the Golden Rule. Follow the Golden Rule and treat others how you want to be treated. This includes how you speak to each other and how you act because sometimes actions speak louder than words.
2. Do what you say and mean what you do. Words mean something; be a man of your word. Be dependable, a person people can count on.
3. Be a "gentle man." Conduct yourself with dignity and strive to leave others feeling positive and respected with every interaction. Be kind and express your feelings openly and honestly.
4. Solve conflict with words, not violence. Anger is a natural emotion. If you are angry, take a minute and cool down before you speak because words are like toothpaste, you can't put them back in the tube after they have been squeezed out.
5. Show how you care. Showing how you feel can be difficult sometimes. Small gestures towards your daughter can go a long way. For example, a simple "thank you," making her favorite dinner, or hugging her. Ask her what you can do to show her that you care.
Closing: Parenting is never easy, but it is worthwhile. Story: A young son of a pastor had become very ill. After undergoing an exhaustive series of tests, the father was told that his son had a terminal illness. The boy had accepted Christ as his Savior, so his father knew that death would usher him into glory. But he wondered how to tell his young son that he would soon die. After earnestly seeking the direction of the Holy Spirit, he went with a heavy heart through the hospital ward to his son's bedside. First, he read a passage of Scripture and had a time of prayer with his son. Then he gently told him the doctors could promise him only a few more days to live. "Are you afraid to meet Jesus, my son?" asked his devout father. Blinking away a few tears, the boy said bravely, "No, not if He's like you, Dad!"
May our lives show Jesus who lives in us. And may God help us all to be good fathers!
