Good Grief
May 28, 2023
John 11:32-35 NIV
“When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 "Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. 35 Jesus wept.”
Most people are not good at expressing grief.
The Bible is full of grief and grieving people. 2/3 of the Psalms are laments – grieving complaints against God.
The Hebrew writers knew that the path of praise often went through the valley of mourning.
Grief and mourning is necessary for other losses in life, too.
Sudden loss of:
• A career
• A house
• A marriage
What happens when we grieve and mourn properly?
1. Our pain is confronted.
Proverbs 14:13 NIV
“Even in laughter the heart may ache and joy may end in grief.”
Grief is the toughest pain for any of us to deal with. For grief to occur, something bad has to happen.
Our first response is to protest. We do want what has happened to be true.
Grief is something we have to enter into voluntarily. There is pain from avoiding pain.
• If we do not learn to grieve and mourn, we will not take the growth steps we need.
Ecclesiastes 7:3-4a NIV
“Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. 4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning …”
2. We become available again.
Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
How do we mourn and grieve?
Psalm 137:1 NIV
“By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.”
1. Admit there’s a new reality.
“By the rivers of Babylon”
We are not in Jerusalem anymore.
When we return to Jerusalem, it will never be the same.
2. Take time to mourn.
“we sat and wept”
Staying busy does keep us occupied, but it does not allow for mourning or grieving.
3. Remember the past.
“we remembered Zion”
Talk about the past.
Remember the great times.
Reflect on the lessons learned from the past.
