All Bible passages are from Bible Gateway.
[Background Information to give context]
Friday March 10, 2023 I was working in my office towards the end of the day thinking about what I wanted to get done on the weekend when my phone rang from my son-in-law. "Dad, Jaron is in cardiac arrest and mom is performing CPR, the Ambulance is on the way."
Jaron we assume had an allergic reaction to the flour dust, as my wife was grinding wheat at the time. They got his heart started back up at the hospital, but too much time had passed. On March 12 he was declared dead due to swelling of the brain from lack of oxygen.
Sudden, tragic, unexpected are all common terms used from those of us who have lost a child. My hope is that this lesson will encourage others who may be going through a severe trial. I hope and pray that no one else will have to go through this, but I know better. It is all too common and if you pastor a congregation, you will deal with this at some point. Hopefully my few words here will help. Now to the lesson.
INTRODUCTION
Scripture is full of examples of life as being a path. Probably the most famous of these passages is the 23 Psalm.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3 He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake."
In Proverbs King Solomon is encouraging his son to walk in the path of wisdom and avoid the path of folly. We see the same concept in Matthew 7:13-14
13 “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
We often get the misconception that if we are on the narrow path and we are following the path of wisdom then we will avoid the hardships of this life. As I look at the examples given to us of Abraham, Moses, Job, Jeremiah, Daniel and on and on you certainly do not see this as being true. As Christians we are foreigners living in a foreign land and that certainly means that in this land we are going to have testing, trials and hardship.
As you all know, the Miller family has gone through some severe testing lately. One of those heart wrenching experiences that no one should ever have to go through, but many (regardless of which path they are on) are still called to go through as we live on this fallen planet named Earth.
Today I want to give you all some encouragement from my thoughts as I am going through the mourning process. I’ve titled my lesson today “Thoughts From a Mourning Father.”
WHEN YOUR WORLD STOPS BUT THE REST OF THE WORLD KEEPS MOVING ON
YOUR WORLD STOPS
The first observation may seem pretty obvious, but is true and that is that your world comes to a complete screeching stop. Work doesn’t cross your mind, neither does food, you don’t even recognize the passage of time. Sleep? What is that! Time just stops! It reminds me of Joshua, in Joshua Chapter 10, when the Lord gave the Amorites over to Israel and Joshua prays that the sun and moon stop and the Lord stopped it for about a whole day. Everything in your life stops.
THE WORLD KEEPS MOVING ON
Your world stops, but you observe that the world around you is still moving on. The sun is still rising in the east and setting in the west. People still wake up get dressed and head off to work. The ants still move to and fro. Businesses still open their doors for business. The birds are still chirping in the trees. Why? Why God? Don’t they realize that tragedy has struck? Shouldn’t the sun stop and mourn with me?
The world continuing to move is actually a good thing. First, it is a reminder that eventually, you will need to restart your world and get moving once again. Ecclesiastes 3 is the “There is a time for everything” passage.
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
There is a time to mourn and a time to rejoice. But not everyone is on the same time schedule. How depressing it would be if everyone hit the time of mourning at the same time! Where would be the support network to help hold you up during the time of trial?
Having the world still moving forward is also good because it allows others to be there to support you during your trial and that support is amazingly important when your world is stopped. We often criticize Job’s friends, but his friends were certainly staying by his side during the trial. Knowing that others are praying, the encouragement from cards, meals and all the other kind gestures certainly is needed and appreciated. That support can only be there if other people are not going through the same trial as you are at the same time. It is good for the world to still be moving forward.
THERE IS A TIME FOR MOURNING AND IT IS GOOD FOR US.
A TIME FOR MOURNING
The next observation is that there is a time for mourning and it is good for us to mourn. Mourning the loss of a loved one is natural. In scripture, we often see a time period set aside for mourning. When Isaac passed Esau hated his brother Jacob because Jacob stole the blessing. Esau planned on killing his brother after the time of mourning was over for his father.
Jacob when he was deceived by his sons that his younger son Joseph had been killed mourned for many days and he refused to be comforted and wept.
Josephs dad got the royal mourning treatment. Genesis 50 verse 3 we see that the Egyptians wept for him seventy days. Typically, we see a mourning period of thirty days. I assume this was 70 days because Jacob was embalmed and it takes 40 days to embalm and then they may have added the 30 days to make seventy days? Not sure, but they mourned 70 days. Then they took Jacob up to where he was to be buried and the mourned and lamented another 7 days.
Of course, they mourned for Moses in the plains of Moab for thirty days.
There is a time set aside to mourn. There are boundaries on the mourning though. It is not perpetual for the rest of our lives. The world continues to move on and after a period of time it is time for those who mourn to start to get back to living once again. That does not mean you forget. It does not mean that you won’t have periods where it hits you and you cry once again even years later. It does mean that the mourner must get moving again and to enter back into living.
MOURNING IS GOOD FOR US.
There is a time for mourning but mourning is also good for us. We have heard it time and time again that we grow during the hard times. Dealing with the passing of a loved one is where we are tested where we are forced to look at our mortality. This is where reflection and course corrections take place in our lives. Ecclesiastes 7:1-4 demonstrates this truth:
A good name is better than precious ointment,
and the day of death than the day of birth.
2 It is better to go to the house of mourning
than to go to the house of feasting,
for this is the end of all mankind,
and the living will lay it to heart.
3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by sadness of face the heart is made glad.
4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
Here a contrast is being made between mourning and feasting, sorrow and laughter. It is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting. Why would this be true? First off the end of all of us is death. We who are living upon the earth who have lost a loved one are faced with our mortality. The end will come to each one of us and therefore when we who are living are in the house of mourning we are able to reflect and grow in God’s wisdom. As we grow in wisdom our hearts are made glad.
We cannot bury our grief and mourning and cover it up with the house of mirth. That is where fools live. The fool will not want to mourn. They will bury it deep inside and try to forget it in pleasure. They will miss the opportunity to face up to the reality of their mortality and turn their heart to God.
Mourning is good. No one really desires it, but it will come to all of us and we should accept it. We should realize that it is for a period of time and we should reflect and grow from the sorrow and pain of loss. James 4:9-10
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
THERE IS HOPE AND PEACE IN JESUS CHRIST
The next observation is that there is hope and peace found in Jesus Christ. When you go through a gut wrenching tragedy of losing a child I am so thankful for being a child of God. I really do not understand how anyone would be able to cope through this without the hope that we have as Christians. Scripture also makes this point abundantly clear.
Romans 5:1-11
5 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith[b] into this grace in which we stand, and we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
1 Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self[d] is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
From my perspective this does not feel like a light momentary affliction, but when this affliction is looked at from an eternal perspective, from the eternal weight of glory, wow! What hope we have in Jesus Christ. What amazing peace is given to us no matter the circumstances we find ourselves in!
This hope and peace comes to us in many ways when we focus on what is unseen. First, I know my son is in a much better place. Paul tells it straight in Philippians 1:21-23
21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.
Jaron is home. He is visiting with those who have gone on home before him. Jesus is his big bro and God is now his father. What a host of people who were there to greet him home. No more pain, no more suffering, no more asthma. What amazing peace that gives to those who are grieving his absence from this earth.
Secondly, I know that we will get to see him again as he welcomes us home. I Thessalonians 4:13-18
13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord,[d] that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
Brothers and sisters the hope that we have in Jesus Christ is amazing and that hope allows us to have peace during these times of trial. Praise be to God for giving us this priceless gift of His one and only Son!
CONCLUSION
There is so much more that I could discuss like the importance of the Church family but time is running out. We will start wrapping this lesson up.
Life is a journey and we all are on a path, either the narrow path that leads to heaven or the broad path that leads to hell. No matter which path you are on you will have trials and heartache in this life. You might be wondering why then would one want to travel on that narrow difficult path? I have been talking about it this whole lesson. How do you deal with tragedy without Christ? There is no hope. There is no peace. You see when we are in Christ Jesus we may still go through amazingly difficult trials in life, but this life is just a vapor that is here one second and gone the next and then we will be united with Christ for eternity. Revelation 21:3-4 tells us the glorious ending:
3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.[c] 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
If you are not a Christian you should spend some time in the house of mourning and reflect on the brevity of life and your eternal destiny. Do you want to live stuffing in the back of your mind your mortality and try to forget it as you live it up or do you want peace and hope? It is found in Jesus Christ. Consider it please, we are here to help as well. As a Christian you will find that mourning will turn into a brilliant Son rise where our mourning will turn into a glorious morning full of hope and peace as God's Son Jesus Christ rises to take us to our eternal home.
