This is primarily for the ladies, but much also applies to the men. Many young people are worried about the dating scene and marriage seems unattainable as they age. Some have said that if you are not married by forty, it is unlikely you will and for the ladies it means they will not have children. I am blessed that I married young back in a time when it was all much easier than today. It has been said that in the next fifteen years most men and women will not be married as the risks are far too great. That is sad and I know many folks that do not want to hear that, but it seems fairly plausible this will be the fact.
It is OK to be single. I have known way too many people who married and wish they had never done so. Some have gone through several marriage failures before they realized that they were never meant to be married. Single and happy is far better than married and miserable especially when kids are involved. There are too many single mothers because the marriages failed. Whose fault does not matter. Sadly, the 50% divorce rate is the same in both Christian and non-Christian scenarios.
1 Corinthians 7:34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
Be more about pleasing the Lord and His things and you may find the biggest reasons for wanting a husband is to please your parents and peers. Besides, you will meet the best Christian men when you are serving Christ. The ones that are not serving now will not change after you marry him. You will become frustrated with him and that will lead to discord and possibly divorce so look to the Lord for the best and do not mess with the rest.
1 Cor 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
A goodly number of the widows I have known are quite content to stay that way. They are also usually busy in Church or community. Lonely? Far better to get a four-legged dog than a two-legged one that might have a worse bite than Fido.
1 Cor 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Now, if you look at nearly every handsome man and get that "warm glow" going on then you may have to ask God either to help you contain or send you a man ASAP. Yes, women can lust like a man. They just do not let it show though I have known some that were not shy about expressing it. Just do not hurry up to marry some lad so you can fan that glowing ember into a ten-alarm blaze. If the lad is a jerk, he will throw more than cold water on it, but not before you are in an ash heap. Studies show that 11% of porn is viewed by women and they are watching the "rough stuff." Ladies do lust.
1 Cor 7:26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
While Paul said man, it also has some applications to a woman. The man was and is still to be the head of the family and responsible for it. In perilous times it is far easier for one person to fend for themselves and escape than to have a wife and four children. It is one thing to endure pain and suffering alone, but to watch those you love do the same it magnifies the pain. No woman would want to see her husband being tortured and abused. At least, if she still loves him. To watch her children suffer and be abused and killed is more horror than she can imagine.
It happens every day in many countries and has happened here. I am reminded of a story from the War Between the States. Seven Union soldiers tied a mother to a chair to watch as they raped her blind daughter and then slit the girl's throat. They were later captured and shot, but can you imagine the pain that woman suffered until the day she died? This is a common scenario around the world that our brethren endure.
I believe it was in China where the police paddled a woman for holding a meeting in her home until her buttocks looked like pieces of raw meat you might see in the market. In Russia, a virgin was tossed into a cell with several drunken men who abused her all night. Some are spared torture because they are shot dead immediately.
Will these things happen here? There have been some very harsh comments made about Christians in the last decade or so. I was told in the '90's that when "they" took over they were coming for pastors, but from the tone I would say that "they" would not stop at just pastors. They never said who "they" were. So looking at a very clear possibly of a "present distress" it may be wise to consider remaining single.
I know some men are reading this. For centuries many evil men have been like those Union soldiers who would tie the father down to watch his family brutally murdered. Then they would pluck out his eyes allowing him to live with that being the last thing he saw. Food for thought as you consider marriage in these times.
There was a meme that said you cannot raise your children like you were raised because that world no longer exists. That can be said about planning and living your life as well. We are clearly in perilous times.
Matthew19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
We may well be in a time when we need to consider being like eunuchs for the Kingdom's sake concentrating on evangelism and holiness. Indeed, it may be very wise to downsize and get out of debt. The less you have to lose will soften the pain of the loss. Preachers, drop the desire to build that huge church as you may lose it and the money could be better spent taking the message to the poor and providing for their spiritual and physical needs. Dying churches need to die so the few left can get into a living church to grow and be equipped for hard times.
We need to leave our Pollyanna norms behind and live like those in a combat zone. We have always been in one, but the casualties have always been "over there." Well, it may be much nearer than we think. It is way past due to be sober and vigilant. Faith over fear is a nice pithy saying, but He has not called us to foolish faith. We are to redeem the time, not just flow with the time or kill time. We were told about the future for a reason. Let us no longer ignore the warnings. Maranatha!
