What is Stress?
Stress is how we react when we feel under pressure or threatened. Distress occurs when stress is severe, prolonged, or both. Distress is stress that negatively affects you and Eustress is stress that has a positive effect on you.
Good Stress and Bad Stress
Examples of negative personal stressors include a lot of events in our lives. Some common example are the death of a spouse, filing for divorce, losing contact with loved ones, the death of a family member, hospitalization (oneself or a family member), injury or illness (oneself or a family member), being abused or neglected, separation from a spouse or committed relationship partner, conflict in interpersonal relationships, bankruptcy/Money Problems, unemployment, sleep problems, children's problems at school and legal problems.
Examples of positive personal stressors include: Receiving a promotion or raise at work.Starting a new job.Marriage.Buying a home. Having a child.Moving.Taking a vacation.Holiday. Reasons.Retiring.Taking educational classes or learning a new hobby. Some stresses are caused by internal thoughts and emotions. Fears: (e.g., fears of flying, heights, public speaking, chatting with strangers at a party). Repetitive Thought Patterns.Worrying about future events (e.g., waiting for medical test results or job restructuring).Unrealistic, perfectionist, expectations. Habitual behavior patterns that can lead to distress include:Overscheduling.Failing to be assertive. Procrastination and/or failing to plan ahead.
In other words, stress is part of life. Without stress, there is no life.
Chuck Swindoll tells about a man who went to see a psychiatrist because he was extremely stressed. The psychiatrist just could not give him any specific advice, because his problems were endless. So he said to the man, “Tonight I want you to go to the circus in town because they have a clown named the Great Rinaldi, he is the funniest clown I have ever seen. Whenever I go to see the Great Rinaldi he always lifts my spirits and feel relaxed.” The man responded. “You don’t understand doctor, I am the Great Rinaldi."
No one is immune to stress. Stress is no respecter or persons.
Whether it is a burdensome responsibility, or a difficult marriage, whether it is joblessness, or a deep loneliness, whether it is a painful sickness or grief of separation, each of us here has faced stress one way or other, or will face some or all of these. There is no question about it. Even the little baby born in to this world is stressed out from the beginning. We live in a stressful world, turbulent with challenges and troubles on our path of life.
So we must learn to how to live productively with stress or else, we will be pulled apart in pieces.
People practice yoga to stretch out your body, slow down your breathing, and relax your mind. They say Yoga can help you feel calmer when life is busy and stressful. Squeezing Stress balls have been around for a long time. There is a new toy in the market called "fidget" toys. Amazon rankings: a recent search revealed that forty-nine of the fifty best-selling toys were either fidget spinners or fidget cubes. Another report claims that the rise in need of the fidget spinner, might mean a lot in the age of covid.
Abraham and Sarah
Someone said, “most of our stresses are about wanting something that we do not have or about having something we do not want.” There are many other examples like David, Paul and Jesus. Abraham (Abram), the father of all believers is an example in the scripture that stands out how he handled stress. (Genesis 21). Abram and Sarai did not have a child after marriage. Sarai wanted a child badly and it was stressing them both and their faith for a long time. So Sarai devices a plan to have a baby through another woman by name Hagar, a servant girl. There were issues between Sarai and Hagar that added to the stress. Ishmael was born in Hagar. Later on Sarai now renamed Sarah who gave birth to the promised son Isaac. Now they have two sons to deal with and the stress multiplied when the two sons could not get along.
"The child (Isaac) grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” 11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring[a] will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.” 14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba." (Genesis 21:8-14).
Running away is not the solution
This a story of how we bring on stress that gets more and more complicated as we plan and device our future. It seems like stress multiplies as we handle them. Is there an end to the stress in life? Abraham was seen as not very smart when making decisions. He looks like a mean old rich man. It is very hard for me to consider Abraham as stupid and mean. "Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.' And he was called the friend of God." (James 2:23). He is commented as father of all those who believe (Gal. 3:16-29; Rom. 4:11).
But if we look deeper into the story, this story is not about Hagar. But it was about Ismail, his own son. Knowing Abraham, a caring, peace loving, and God fearing man, he would not send her away empty and poor. Rather than treating her as a slave, he gave her the option of freedom to do what she would like. Freedom comes with responsibility to choose. We find that Hagar had the freedom to do what ever and go wherever. Gen 21:14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. Hagar went away with the boy and and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba. Hagar wanted to stick it out and do nothing. She has done this before. If you look at Chapter 16, when she was pregnant, and Sarah mistreated her, she ran away to the desert. I wonder if she chose not to pursue productive options, rather she chose to run away from her problems.
The way the story of the expulsion or, we might say, deportation of Hagar and Ishmael is usually depicted in art and common storytelling, we may have the impression Ishmael was a young child (perhaps not much more than a toddler) at the time. The time lines in Genesis, however, tell a different tale. In Genesis 16:16, we read “Abram was 86 years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael” (NRSV). Genesis 17:24 notes Abraham (renamed at his circumcision) was 99 when he was circumcised, and the next verse tells us that Ishmael was 13 years old at that time. Finally, the birth of Isaac took place when Abraham was 100 years old (Genesis 21:5), which puts Ishmael at 14 years old. The deportation, however, happened only after Isaac was weaned. The expected age of weaning in this culture during this time period appears to have been two to three years old (see I Samuel 1:20-24), meaning Ishmael was likely 16 or 17 years old at the time of his deportation.
Physically running away is a commonly used option. Some people will move to another location thinking their problems will be left behind. Others will jump from job to job in an attempt to find a company that isn't filled with bad people . A third approach is frequently changing relationships in search of a situation that doesn't have any problems. We all know people who have divorced and married 3,4 and 5 times. Problems are often caused by how you act and who you are. Therefore, they will follow you wherever you go. There are some problems that may be solved by changing your location. But if you find that you encounter similar problems wherever you go, running is obviously not the answer. Problems will follow you until you deal with them. There are those who turn to destructive behavior in the quest to run away from their problems. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, reckless gambling, inappropriate friendship or any other type of self-destructive behavior, a new set of issues is created. In addition to their original problems, they have dug a deeper hole for themselves. These individuals may even claim that they will stop their destructive behavior once their problems go away. Their problems won't fix themselves and will get worse and lead to death and destruction. Hagar wished she and the boy could die in the desert.
Many of us have wished, if we could run away. David, when faced with stressful situation says in Psalm 55: 6, "Oh that I had the wings of dove, I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee far away and stay in the desert." But God knows where you are and what you are dealing with. Some problems are too much to handle and should be turned over to God. Some problems are big and beyond us. But God is still bigger. We need to turn them over to God. Just like in the case of Abraham, Hagar was also distressed over the plight of her son (v. 16). But just as with Abraham, God hears their cries and comforts Hagar with the same reassurance of future nationhood for her son that eased Abraham's distress. Abraham could provide her only with a skin of water, But God provided a well of water (vv. 17-19).
The story is a telling story of God’s grace to all and is infinite and matchless. It suggests that God is not only concerned with the chosen people of Abraham's descendants. God's initial statement of the promise, was that in Abraham "all the families of the earth shall be blessed," (Genesis 12:3b). The promise comes through Isaac, but there is blessing enough for all! God comes to Abraham to assure him that his son will be protected and that Ishmael’s offspring will be counted among Abraham’s heirs. Like Isaac, Ishmael will become a “nation” in accordance with God’s promise. The “Ishmaelites” became traders. They were a nomadic tribe that thrived in the southern deserts, and their lineage continues to this day in the form of the Arab people. Ishmael is honored by Muslims all over the world as the forebear of the Arab nation and a child of divine promise (information summarized from Wingeier, Keeping Holy Time, Year A233).
Finding short cuts to address a problem worsens it.
Abraham was 75 years old when he started on a journey to followed God's promise of a promised land. They travelled in the desert for over 10 or more years, and Sarah did not have a child yet, and she came up with a plan. Sarah gave Hagar, the servant girl as his wife to have a child, and Ishmael was born. He would be about 86 years old. Abraham thought that things would become easy for them now. "What a tangled web we weave?" The more we try short cuts, the more tangled wen we get. Now we see Abraham, Sarah, Hagar and the boy Ishmail are all tangled in a web. All of them are stressed out, even more so for Abraham.
The God appears to Abraham, and says, “Do not be distressed about this situation.” Sometimes we think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. We seem to think that others are not having problems. If we get what that person has, then the problem will be solved. The reality is that everybody is under stress, but may be with a different problem. All people everywhere have challenges, heartaches, and burdens to bear. In Psalm 23, David sings, "I will fear no evil", he doesn’t say that I will meet no evil. The question is how do we respond when we walk through the valley. Endurance is not enough. The Bible teaches us a way to make victory out of stress by redeeming stress. Make the stress work for us, not against us.
Fear is the most common stressor
Mark Twain said, "over the years I have worried about many things, most of which never happened." A great educator and author William Jones pointed out that about 85% of our suffering is self-induced. A way to Redeeming stress is to acknowledge and not to be afraid of them. God appears to Abraham, and said, “Do not be distressed.” Someone said, the fear of trouble is more crushing than the trouble itself. God appeared to Hagar, and said the same thing “Do not be afraid” 21:17. Jesus said to the troubled many times, “Do not be afraid” We need to have the faith to see above ourselves in stressful times and not panic. "I will fear no evil, because God is with me" . Apostle Paul says, "I can do all things through Christ."
Some of our stress can be used for good
I would never get around to preparing a sermon if I were never 'under stress'. I would put it off. The stress is a friend to me. We can use stressful moments to work for us. You see that in many politicians. When they face any embarrassing or shocking questions from the press they use it as an analogy. When a heckler threw a tomato at a candidate in a major election meeting, the candidate responded, "now we can talk about agriculture." and continued his speech. That followed a standing ovation.
One day a man stepped up to Jesus and tried to trip Jesus with a tricky question. "Is it 'is it reasonable to pay taxes to caesar?' . Jesus turned around and asked them what is it you see on the currency or coin? When they said, the picture of Caesar, Jesus said, "give unto ceasar what is caesar's and to God what is God's".
Ultimately Our stresses must be trusted to God
When stressed out, entrust the matter to GOD. A mother was waiting in a waiting room with a six year old boy. The child has started asking questions, " Why is grass green? why is the sky blue? how do birds fly?. She managed to answer all questions patiently. Then came the question about God, "why is not God tired?" She thought about that for a second, and replied, "because God is love and love never gets tired." Yes, that is so true. God is love and never gets tired.
Jesus said, Matt 6 "Do Not Be Anxious - “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you you will wear. My Father in heaven will provide according your needs" Paul affirms that in Phil 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but pray to God with thanksgiving, so that the peace of God fill your hearts and minds.
A good friend who lost her husband of 30 plus years was in tears when she talked to me. She was hurt as she cannot think of a life without him. He supported her all her known life, and he is gone never to return. I was trying to find the right words to comfort her. We talked about how faith does not exempt us from problems, but God gives us the strength to keep on. Then she wiped her tears, and said, " Sometimes, we just have to walk through the pain, but God walks with us and He is Great." I said, wow, I wish I had said that because it is so true. Christians do not walk alone. All powerful God, the omnipotent and all knowing God, the Omniscient is your companion. He will take care of you. Yes there is life in the stress, through the stress and life will continue after the stress.
Perhaps you’re a parent walking through the stages of childrearing for the first time; a student facing newfound academic challenges; a person grieving the loss of a loved one; or someone experiencing a home, work, or ministry challenge. Sometimes we’re needlessly on edge because we don’t ask God for help (James 4:2).
There is a children’s song that used to be taught in Sunday Schools:
My God is so big, And so strong, And so mighty
There's nothing my God cannot do.
He parted the sea, He helped a boy To bring a giant right down.
Joshua marched, The walls fell to the ground.
But if you want to question My God and His ways
I'll look you in the eye and say: "Yes, My God is so big And so strong
And so mighty There's nothing my God cannot do” AME
Visit my blog: http://gracefulspot.blogspot.com/
