Who’s Your Audience?
Matthew 6:1
NOW – this morning (8/21/22)… we are going to drill down on just a single verse... Matthew 6:1, in a conversation that I am calling, ‘Who’s Your Audience?’
Prayer
A guy named Dallas Willard said there are four great questions of life that everyone has to deal with, whether they want to or not, and
Those questions are…
• What is real?
• What is the good life?
• Who is a good person? and
• How do you become a good person?
AGAIN - everyone has to answer those questions whether they want to or not. They are inescapable.
AND – here’s the deal… You pretty much are answering them by the way you choose to live your life.
AND MGCC - in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gives His four answers to those great questions.
Q #1 - What is real?
What can you count on?
ANSWER - God and his kingdom, his reign, his will. Jesus says that the foundation of existence is not (as widely thought in our day) a random universe; a giant, meaningless machine; atoms and molecules. INSTEAD – the foundation of existence IS… a personal God of immense power, wisdom, and love.
Hallowed be His name.
AND - that's why Jesus says to seek first the kingdom of God, because that is what…
• is most real
• is unshakable and will endure forever
• will remain standing after the waters rise and the winds blow
Q #2 - What is the good life?
AND – we all want to know, right? What is the good life?
AND MGCC - Jesus answers that in the Beatitudes.
UNDERSTSAND - the good life, contrary to contemporary wisdom, is not based on wealth, IQ, attractiveness, thicker hair or whiter teeth.
NO – that is not what the good life is based on…
INSTEAD – the ‘good life’ is based on…
• being ‘poor in spirit’ (acknowledging our brokenness and need for God)
• mourning, being meek, hungering for righteousness, showing mercy, having a pure heart, being a peacemaker.
AND LISTEN – this ‘good life’ is available to anybody who chooses to live in partnership with God in His kingdom.
THEREFORE - you, right there in your life, can be blessed, living the dream, in the good life.
Q #3 - Who is a good person?
NOW – people are really fuzzy on that one in our day.
BUT MGCC - Jesus says a good person is someone who is compelled, consumed… overcome and pervaded by God's love and who routinely works for the good for others being the salt of the earth and the light of the world.
UNDERSTAND - a good person is not a rule-breaker or a ruler-follower.
That's why in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus often contrasts,
"You have heard it said…" (behavioral compliance) with,
“But I say to you…” (inner transformation).
Q #4 - How do you become a good person?
ANSWER…
• BY PUTTING – your full confidence in this Jesus and becoming… His disciple, His apprentice, His student, and…
• BY SEEKING - with sincere intent and the help of God, to creatively, powerfully… obey Him in all things.
UNDERSTAND B/S - the reason the Sermon on the Mount is the most influential talk in human history
(and why we've been unpacking it for the last 17 weeks)
isn't that Jesus got lucky. NO – it’s simply because…
NO ONE ELSE - answers the four great questions of life in a way that comes even close to, (the guidance or wisdom) that Jesus' answers have provided, now for 2,000 years…
AND LISTEN – Jesus’ own life… displayed, manifested, lived out that wisdom in a way that still inspires today.
SO HEY - you picked a great weekend to be here.
I MEAN – like this week, if somebody at school, in your neighborhood, or at work asks you, "What are the four great questions of human existence?" you can tell them the questions and give them all four answers, and we haven't even started the sermon yet.
LIKE - that's all bonus, free material just by way of summarizing the greatest talk in human existence.
AGAIN THIS MORNING – we are going to just look at one verse, Matthew 6:1…
WHERE JESUS - is warning against a common mistake people made back then and still make today, in terms of how they pursue the good life and how they try to look like a good person. AGAIN - it's a warning.
I. The Warning
Here's what Jesus says:
"Be careful
‘Be careful’ – (prosecho… pros ‘before’ echo ‘hold’)
Now the idea is to turn one’s mind and attention to a thing by being on guard against it.
(present tense)
• Mt 7:15 – Jesus (watch out for false prophets, they come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves)
• Mt 10:17 – Jesus (be on guard for those who will both arrest and beat you)
• Mt 16:11 – Jesus (be on guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy)
"Be careful not to perform (and perform is another present tense verb) your righteous acts before men to be seen by them.
“to be seen” – (theaomai… we were get our word theatre)
• To behold, to look upon, to view intently
• It describes a continuous contemplation of some object that remains before a spectator.
Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. – Matthew 6:1
SO – what’s the warning?
TO – be careful, to be on guard against doing things to ‘be seen’ by other people.
QUESTION – do you ever do that?
Do you ever do things or say things ‘to be seen’ by other people, to impress them somehow… to get their approval.
MGCC – so, ‘who’s your audience?’
Now the condition Jesus addresses here (constantly, present tense, doing thing to be seen by other people) is what, is often referred to in our day, as approval addiction.
Approval Addiction – is to live in bondage to what other people think of you, to make your life a performance to be seen by others, it is the disease to please.
NOW JESUS - will go on in Matthew 6:2-18 (which we will unpack next week) to talk about, how in that day, people would often seek approval by showing off (don’t you just love show offs): how much they're giving, how much they're praying, or how much they're fasting.
AGAIN – in Jesus’ day, people often pursued status by flaunting how devoted to God they were.
NOW – I don’t think I need to tell you that… we live in a much less religious culture, so we tend to do that in other ways. HOWEVER - the underlying temptation is still there for us to try to live for other people's opinions, rather than who we actually are before God. B/S – so, ‘who’s your audience?’
UNDERSTAND - we can take something good (It could be giving, praying, fasting. It could be our grades. It could be our work. It could be our body. It could be our family)…
AND – we can use it to try to win the approval of other people, and feed our own ego.
AGAIN - in Matthew 6, Jesus addressees the fact, that people are giving, praying, and fasting, because…
• they want to impress other people,
• they want to be seen by others,
All the while pretending like they were doing it because they loved God so much.
MGCC - that's why Jesus calls this hypocrisy.
AND - it gets into all of us. It gets into everybody.
LIKE - we all do, we all battle this. This pretending, this doing, this saying things…
SO THAT – other people will approve of us.
BUT MGCC – here’s the deal…
Even if other people do approve of us, deep down we know that it is not the ‘real us’ that they are approving of.
INSTEAD – it is the us, that we are pretending to be.
So that approval is not all that helpful, is it?
YEAH – if they really knew who I am…
NOW – this addiction takes many forms…
But here are some of the signs that indicate that you probably suffer from this addiction
• IF - you find yourself getting hurt by what other people say about you, or feel like crying – when people express other than glowing opinions about you – you probably have it.
• IF - you habitually compare yourself with other people, if you find yourself getting competitive in the most ordinary situations – you probably have it.
• IF - you live with a nagging sense that you are not important enough or special enough, or you get envious of another’s person success – you probably have it.
• IF- when others are getting praised and complimented – you get mad, or wish it was you they were talking about, or you begin to feel like the praise other people got somehow devalued you – you probably have it…
• IF – you have trouble saying no even to something you don’t really want to do, because you are afraid someone will get made at you - you probably have it…
• IF – you find yourself apologizing all the time, even when you’ve done nothing wrong for fear of offending someone, you probably have it…
• IF - you tend to disclose only things about yourself that you feel will be viewed positively and you hide or minimize things about you that you fear others may judge negatively - you probably have it…
• IF – you freeze up or feel anxious when someone asks your opinion because you don’t want to risk saying something wrong or that would upset someone - you probably have it…
• IF- the number of ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ you get or do not get on social media either makes you very sad or make you happy – you probably have it…
• IF - you are even now at this moment starting to worry that someone might be thinking you are an approval addict – you probably have it…
AND HEY MGCC – can ask you a question, you are finding this conversation today helpful, right? I mean, like, I am do a pretty good job, aren’t I?
NOW LIKE - other addicts, we will go to great lengths to get a “fix” when we feel desperate.
AND LIKE - other addicts, we find that no fix lasts forever, so we keep coming back for more.
NOW – I think an Henri Nouwen (author, professor and theologian), puts this problem in perspective:
At issue here is the question: “To whom do I belong?
To God or to the world?” Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God.
A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. . . . Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. (end quote)
QUESTION – do you ever feel like small boat tossed back and forth on the waves, a prisoner of other people’s approval and disapproval?
Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them…
NOW - the alternative to this addiction — is a life of freedom.
Lewis Smedes writes, One of the fine arts of gracious living is the art of living freely with our critics. When we have the grace to be free in the presence of those who judge our lives and evaluate our actions, we have Christian freedom.
AND MGCC - this is the kind of freedom that the apostle Paul described in 1 Corinthians 4…
NOW – Paul in this letter is addressing (among many other things) the fact that a bunch of people had come into the church and were saying negative things about Paul, challenging His leadership and authority.
it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. I do not even judge myself. . . .
It is the Lord who judges me. – 1 Corinthians 4:4
I love it… Paul considered it “a very small thing” to be judged by other people… NOW – Paul didn’t say that it meant nothing… LIKE – what other people thought still mattered to Paul — but it didn’t matter too much.
IN OTHER WORDS – negative opinions and criticism could no longer rock his boat. BECAUSE – both his balance and his sense of well-being rested on acceptance from a higher court:
“It is the Lord who judges me.”
“It is the Lord, who is my primary audience.”
MGCC…
• Imagine receiving criticism or judgment as “a very small thing.”
• Imagine being set free from the need to impress anyone.
• Imagine your sense of esteem no longer resting on whether someone notices how smart, or attractive, or successful you are.
• Imagine being able to actually feel love toward someone who expresses disapproval of you.
UNDERSTAND - as approval addicts we are always at the mercy of others’ opinions. Like the old preacher’s story I came across this week, He writes…
“I was leaving my last church, and a woman at the farewell reception was weeping. ‘Don’t be sad,’ I said, ‘I’m sure the next pastor will be better than me.’
‘That’s what they said last time,’ she cried, ‘but they keep getting worse.’”
UNDERSTAND - the primary symptom of ‘Approval Addiction,’ is the tendency to confuse our performance in some aspect of life with our worth as a person.
The result is that we seek a kind of approval from people that can satisfy, only when it comes, from God.
AND LISTEN - Paul speaks to this addiction in a clear and powerful way, when he writes the following to the church at Galatia:
Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
QUESTION…
• Who’s approval was Paul seeking?
• Who was Paul living to please?
• Who was Paul’s audience?
NOW – unfortunately not everyone lived that same way.
IN FACT – in John 12 we encounter some religious leaders who had a severe case of approval addiction.
Many even among the leaders believed in him. But because of the Pharisees they would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved human praise more than praise from God. – John 12:42,43
QUESTION…
• Whose praise do you, love more?
• Whose approval do you, seek more?
AGAIN - I know what this drug of approval tastes like, and I know how it feels when it gets withheld.
I MEAN – often when I stand up here (like today, speaking for God, even talking about a topic like this)
I can hear my own voice in my head asking… wondering,
• “What do they think of me?”
• “Do they approve?”
• “Do they like what I am saying?”
• “Do they like me?”
NOW – let me be clear, approval is not wrong or a bad thing. IN FACT – we are made to seek approval.
We can't help ourselves.
I MEAN - look at a baby. When they're loved, when they're noticed, when they're delighted in, they just beam.
They just radiate joy. We know that's good.
SO - the question isn't…Will we seek approval?
NO - the question is…Where will we seek it?
UNDERSTAND - we have an infinite need for approval. That's part of being human. AND – the good news is, God has an infinite supply. BUT - only God does.
SO – we need to…
• Live, to please God,
• Live, to be approved by God,
• Find, our security in God's love.
• Find, our identity in the image of God.
• Find, our hope in the strength and power of God.
B/L - we live for God's approval, not human approval.
AND – as Paul said you cannot live for both,
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
– Galatians 1:10
Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. – Matthew 6:1
NOW – there is another passage from Paul that I also think is helpful in overcoming our ‘Approval Addiction’…
It is found in Philippians chapter 1…
NOW – Paul wrote these words decades after Jesus knocked him off his horse while he was on the road to Damascus…
YOU KNOW – that moment when God made him go blind, so that he could finally see…
This is one of 4 letters that he wrote while in prison (Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Philemon)…
AGAIN – Paul is in prison. It’s dark. It’s damp. He is in chains. The door to his cell is shut.
He is old, he is weary… no doubt his body is pretty worn out.
NEEDLESS TO SAY – this was not a place that he would have chosen, but nevertheless there he was.
AND UNDERSTAND BY – the time he wrote this letter Paul had been in prison for several years…
AND – while He was in prison a bunch of people came into the church (as they often did) and they started talking a bunch of smack about Paul.
AND – word of this criticism eventually reach in his prison cell…
Let’s start reading at Philippians 1:12…
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.
HEY – can we just pause a moment and acknowledge that this is something pretty mind blowing for a guy chained in a prison cell to say… I mean, like how does something like that even happen.
As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry.
Paul says… “Yeah, I know that not everybody likes me…”
AND B/S – not everyone is going to like you either.
IN FACT - If everybody likes you, you’re not doing it right.”
It’s true that some are preaching out of jealousy and rivalry. But others preach about Christ with pure motives. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel.
NOW – I really like how he said, “I am put here.”
NO - I am not here by accident.
AND YES – I know that I have been ‘sent here’ by the decree of Rome, but I was ‘put here’…
• for the purposes of God
• for the defense of the Gospel
Those others do not have pure motives as they preach about Christ. They preach with selfish ambition, not sincerely, intending to make my chains more painful to me.
QUESTION – have you ever had any people like that in your life? People who wanted to make - your chains, your situation, your hurt, your hardship… your pain, more painful?
OKAY – and now we come the 5 words that I think are extremely helpful in overcoming our AA
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Paul says I rejoice…
• Not because everything is going right in my life, because it isn’t
• Not because everybody is saying nice things about, because they are not.
INSTEAD - it’s ‘because of this,’ that Christ is being preached
HEY PAUL - did you hear about all the negative, critical and untrue things that they are saying about you?
LIKE BRO – they really do not like you, and they are doing everything they can to cause other people to not like you either…
AND – Paul’s response is so powerful, freeing…
I MEAN - he’s not sweating it, he’s not letting it steal any of his joy. He simply says…
But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. – Philippians 1:18
What does it matter…
I don’t care what people think about me or say about me.
That is not what is important to me.
And since I have a joy that they did not give me, then they cannot take it from me…
What does it matter – what people say about me
What does it matter – what people think about me.
WOW – what a way to live, what a way to have joy and freedom!
AGAIN - I am not as good at this as I would like to be.
I MEAN – sometimes I let what people say about me, what they think about me, and what I think they think about me weigh me down to the point that I get so distracted and discouraged.
Can I ask you to pray for me…
“Heavenly Father I pray for Pastor Steve, that he would stop letting what other people say or think about Him, discourage and sidetrack him from what really matters. Help him to live for an audience of one”
AMEN”
Now pray for the person next to you
“God I pray for this person, that they would stop letting what other people say about them or think about them: ruin their day, contaminate their joy, poison their spirit
distract them from their destiny, so they can focus on and live for what really matters. Help them to live for an audience of one. AMEN”
But what does it matter? The important thing is…
– Philippians 1:18
AND UNDERSTAND BROTHERS AND SISTERS
Whatever you put next will determine what your joy, your peace, your hope… is chained to.
YES - whatever you put after; the important thing is….
Your joy will move up and down with that thing….
So – how would you complete that statement
The important thing is…
AND LISTEN…
IF - the important thing to you, is that people like you and say nice things about you…
THEN WHEN PEOPLE - like you, when they say nice things about you… you will like you and you will have joy.
HOWEVER WHEN PEOPLE…
(your spouse, co-workers, family members, teachers, coaches, people who you thought were your friends…etc)
when people don’t like you, when they start talking trash and saying negative and hurtful things about you…
You won’t like you… and you will lose your joy.
Because that is what you joy is tied to.
HOWEVER – if we say that the important thing is…
• God’s approval
• That God loves me
• That God likes me
Do you know how better we would sleep and how much stress would just disappear if we would be able to live this way…
But what does it matter….
Let’s say those words together out loud…
“but what does it matter”
UNDERSTAND – we need to take those 5 words with us this week, and when…
• Some ‘fashion expert’ doesn't approve of your clothes, “but what does it matter”
• the cool kids don't approve of your taste of music, “but what does it matter”
• A coworker doesn't like your idea, “but what does it matter”
• Someone says negative or untrue things about you, “but what does it matter”
When a law enforcement officer doesn't like how fast you are driving, "but what does…” Yeah, that one maybe should matter a little bit to you..
AND LISTEN - when you take, “What does it matter” into this week, it doesn't mean, "that people don’t matter to you."
It means, "I live for an audience of one, and you are not that one."
Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. – Matthew 6:1
MGCC - not everybody is going to like you, so stop trying!
You will never scratch that itch.
Here's the amazing thing. This is life in the kingdom of God. Jesus likes you. Go figure!
"Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells me so."
AND BECAUSE – of that love we can live now in the reality of the kingdom, for an audience of one.
NOW – next week we will look at some practices, some disciplines that Jesus says that we can put into our life that will help us break our approval addiction and truly live for an audience of one.
BUT – in our brief time remaining I want us to look at…
II. The Reward
"Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
UNDERSTAND – Jesus says that there is a reward for us when we choose to no longer live our lives to be seen by others, but instead live for God’s approval.
A) Treasures in heaven
The bible talks often about there are rewards being stored up for us in heaven.
Not exactly sure what they will be, but I confident that they will be awesome, because our God is a great rewarder.
B) Freedom From The Tyranny of Approval Addiction
Freedom from…
• having to be noticed
• from the up and down tide of the approval and disapproval of other people
• being on stage all of the time
• needing ‘likes’ on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or ‘views’ on Tiktok or Youtube… to prove to yourself and other that you really matter and your life counts.
• Generalized other.
John Ortberg writes the following in his book, ‘The Life You’ve Always Wanted.’
Sociologist George Herbert Mead wrote about what he called the “generalized other,” the mental representation we carry inside ourselves of that group of people in whose judgment we measure our success or failure.
Our sense of esteem and worth is largely wrapped up in their appraisal of our worth. Our “generalized other” is a composite of all the Siskels and Eberts in our life whose thumbs up or thumbs down signal carries emotional weight with us.
Think of the problem as a kind of mental jury box containing all the people who rate us like so many judges evaluating an Olympic skater.
Almost certainly our parents are in that box. Probably some school teachers are there, too, and some significant members of our peer group, not to mention our boss, co-workers, neighbors, and perhaps other members of our profession.
It gets pretty crowded, that jury box. Of course, we never really know for sure the totality of what any other person is actually thinking about us. Part of the irony of the generalized other is that it is not really other at all — it’s what we think others are thinking.
UNDERSTAND – part of the reward in choosing God as your audience is being freed from that jury box
And becoming the kind of person, who…
• Receives criticism and judgement as a very small thing
• Is free from the need to impress anyone
• Whose sense of worth or esteem no longer rests of whether someone notices how smart, or attractive or successful they are
C) Greater Intimacy with God
UNDERSTAND – choosing to live our lives for an audience of one, seeking His approval, leads us…
Being more aware of His presence
Understand, the more we develop this intimacy with God, the less we will strive for the affirmation, attention and approval of others… Including strangers via social media.
AND - we will also discover a secret that alludes so many:
Our lives do matter.
Not because someone noticed us, or ‘liked’ our post, but because God is always with us, noticing ever moment of our lives.
"Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
MGCC – who’s your audience?
