(Based on a message preached at First Baptist Church, Chamois, MO, on 2-05-2023. This is not an exact transcription.)
Introduction: This is February and I have to confess I didn’t think we’d ever get out of January! But here we are and the Lord is with us. Now, February is usually known as the month of love, and some other things, so for the next few weeks, the Lord willing, I’ll be bringing messages based on some of the Bible’s love stories. I mean, it’s hard to beat when the Lord brings a man and a woman together and they serve Him together as a family, right?
This morning, we’ll be looking at one of the first true love stories in the Bible, Rebekah and Isaac. We know Isaac as the son of Abraham but we don’t know a whole lot about Rebekah, except she agreed to become Isaac’s wife. It’s kind of like the TV show my wife and I like to see, “Married at First Sight”—have you seen it? In a word, a team of 2 or 3 “experts” announce to a given city that they’re coming to town. Thousands and thousands of singles apply, each wanting (they say) to get married, as none of them have found “the one” by any other means.
The “experts” screen the applicants about as closely as they can and narrow down the many to a few, five couples for each season, currently. They then select whom they—emphasis—they believe who will be a good match. The “chosen few” are notified, in person, “You’re getting married in two weeks!” The catch, though, is that none of the ones selected have any idea who has been selected as their marriage partner! They won’t know until they meet “at the altar” and are, ta da, married at first sight! These, by the way, are legally binding marriages, and the only way to end it, if that what it comes down to, is by a legal divorce. Over the years, a few have actually lasted; most, sadly, do not but that to me speaks more about the chosen than the choosers or the ones who look and match. As someone said, “It takes two to make a marriage work, but only one to ruin even the best one.”
With that in mind, we can see how Isaac and Rebekah were truly married at first sight; they lived 200-300 miles apart, and it’s anybody’s guess how much communication went on between Abraham’s family, living in southern Canaan and his brother’s family way back in Haran, Nahor, or wherever they actually lived. Chances are, not much, but these relatives still knew each other. And that was going to come in handy a little later on.
Oh yeah, before we get started, this wasn’t the first “Married at First Sight.” That honor goes to Adam and Eve! Talk about a perfect match—she sure was!—but from that day to this, every man gets a “ribbing” from his wife every now and then, don’t we? (Some in the audience groaned!)
The text comes from Genesis 24, and it’s a long chapter so I won’t read all of it, but we’ll stop at some highlights along the way. In fact, this chapter is the longest in Genesis and it deals with how a girl agreed to become a stranger’s wife. It’s a beautiful story, as we’ll see!
<Prayer>
1 The instructions
Text, Genesis 24:1-9, NASB: 1 Now Abraham was old, advanced in age; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in every way. 2 Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, "Please place your hand under my thigh, 3 and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, 4 but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac." 5 The servant said to him, "Suppose the woman is not willing to follow me to this land; should I take your son back to the land from where you came?" 6 Then Abraham said to him, "Beware that you do not take my son back there! 7 “The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth, and who spoke to me and who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land,' He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there. 8 "But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this my oath; only do not take my son back there." 9 So the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter.
We’ll need a bit of background to get the context for this story. Abraham was around 140 years of age at this time. He, his wife, and other family members had left Ur of the Chaldees (ancient Sumer, modern-day Iraq) about 70 years before. Abraham, then known as Abram, stopped at Haran and stayed there until his father died (Genesis 11:27-32). Abram’s brother, Nahor, stayed there while, incredibly, Haran’s son, Lot, traveled with Abram on the journey. This group went into Canaan, Egypt, and back to Canaan where Abram settled.
Abram and Sarah, then Sarai, had no children even though God had promised they would have descendants “like the dust of the earth” or uncountable (Genesis 13:16) and more numerous than the stars in the sky (Genesis 15:5, paraphrased). We’ll pass over the birth and youth of Ishmael, son of Abraham and Hagar, his Egyptian servant, and go directly to the birth of Isaac. We recall the time when Abraham was told to offer Isaac as a sacrifice, but God stopped him from doing anything to Isaac except to get him off the altar.
So now Isaac is around 40 years of age, and he’s been grieving over the death of his mother, Sarah. This had been going on for a while, maybe a year or so, and Abraham decides Isaac needs a wife. That makes sense, as Abraham was nearly 140 himself and probably not able to meet all of Isaac’s needs at this time.
Pulling it all together, Abraham decided to send his oldest servant to find a wife for Isaac. The text has Abraham’s instructions and the servant’s ironing out of the details. Abraham, of course, was wise to not find a wife for Isaac among the Canaanites in the area: for one thing, they were descended from a different son of Noah (Ham, see Genesis 9:22 and 10:6) but Abraham and his surviving brother, among others, were descendants of Shem (see Genesis 10: 21-32; 11:10-32).
For another thing, the Canaanites worshiped idols, not the True God, the God of Abraham. They had a whole group, or as some describe it, a family of El, Baal, Astarte, Mot, and any number of other “gods” or pagan deities. Could it be that one or more of Abraham’s household had rejected the God of Abraham in order to marry one of the pagan Canaanites and worship those gods? At any rate, Abraham had lived long enough and had seen enough to never want Isaac bound to one of the pagans living nearby.
And for sure, Abraham didn’t want Isaac taken back to Haran, where Abraham’s brother lived. God had promised to Abraham, and his descendants, the land of Canaan, not the land of Haran. Keeping Isaac close by would perhaps reduce any temptation for Isaac to leave. We may never know all the reasons why Abraham decided the way he did, but he was firm: Isaac needed a wife (how else would there be any descendants if Isaac died childless?) and that wife was to come willingly from a different land.
The servant had his instructions and his information. He prepared for his journey, but he may have had some misgivings or doubts. He did have plenty of time to think, and pray, as he traveled. But how would he know for sure who would be the right choice for Isaac’s wife?
The sign
What was requested
Text, Genesis 24:10-14, NASB: 10 Then the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master, and went out with a variety of good things of his master’s in his hand; so he set out and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor. 11 He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water when it was evening, the time when women go out to draw water. 12 And he said, “LORD, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; 14 now may it be that the young woman to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’—may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master.”
The servant finally made it from Hebron, where Abraham was living, to the city of Nahor, where Abraham’s brother lived. Some commentators estimate this as 300 to 450 miles, one way! He had selected ten of Abraham’s camels, then loaded them with samples of various kinds, and no doubt was relieved beyond measure when they reached a good stopping place. Besides being near a well, they were close to Haran, the city of Nahor (Gen. 11:31) and that meant they were close to the end of their trek.
But I’m sure there was something else on this servant’s mind. He had, we might say, a very tough assignment: find a wife for his master’s son. I mean, he could have resented this assignment and been less than diligent in getting to Haran in the first place! If this servant was Eliezer of Damascus, as some think, he would have had to pass by his home town and who knows what he had been thinking as he approached—and left—Damascus. I wonder if he had ever been married himself and maybe wanted a wife, too! We’ll never know for sure.
Besides these thoughts in his own mind, and surely he had to have some concerns (let’s call it what it really was, worries) about picking the wrong girl for Isaac. It’s easy to make the wrong choice; after all, haven’t we done this many times? Maybe the servant had been wondering all along: how will I know she’s the right one? To go back to our “Married at First Sight” example, there have been a whole lot more “misses” than “hits” or successes! This servant surely didn’t want to risk the wrath of Abraham by bringing an unsuitable bride for Isaac!
Just how he came to this idea of how to find the right bride for Isaac is something we may never know down here. The test was simple and easy to see who was or was not willing to be kind to people and animals: if she was willing to get some water for the man, his companions, and also the camels, she would be the one! Of note, some of the commentators noted that camels were rare, and thus expensive, in those days, so if Abraham had 10 of these to spare for a long trip like this one, that was proof he was rich!
Now it was evening, the day coming to a close, and it was also time for the women of the city to “draw” or get water from the well. This was women’s work in those days, as the men were busy with fields or flocks. Maybe the women knew that they had to help get the water if they wanted any water at all.
The sun was setting, the women were coming, the camels and travelers were waiting by the well, and the servant had asked the LORD, God of Abraham, to show him the right choice for Isaac’s bride. Now all he could do was wait—and pray.
And pray he did, as noted in verses 12-14. Was the LORD going to answer, and if so, how?
What was displayed
Text, Genesis 24:15-21, NASB: 15 And it came about, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder. 16 The young woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had had relations with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar, and came up. 17 Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, “Please let me drink a little water from your jar.” 18 And she said, “Drink, my lord”; then she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink. 19 Now when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will also draw water for your camels until they have finished drinking.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels. 21 Meanwhile, the man was taking a close look at her in silence, to find out whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not.
Isn’t it amazing how the Lord answers prayers, sometimes? The servant is still praying to the LORD for Him to send the right girl for Isaac. As we saw, the test, so to speak, was simple: if she would draw water for the man and the camels, she was the one. I’ve wondered how many, if any, of the other women looked away or flat out said “No!” to the servant’s request.
But Rebekah was different. Even though she was the (only?) daughter of Bethuel, one of the richest men around, she didn’t play the princess and expect others to do her work for her. No, she took her “jar” or pitcher out to the well in order to get the water for her family. We don’t know exactly how big that “jar” or pitcher was, but it was large enough so that she carried it on her shoulder, yet not so large or heavy she couldn’t carry it back. Water has a weight of about six pounds per gallon, so she may have had a two- or three-gallon pitcher.
This also gives us a hint of her age. Younger girls were kept at home, apparently, learning or helping with household chores. Sending a first- or second-grade age girl with a heavy pitcher would be cruel, wouldn’t it? So we can guess Rebekah was in her teens or maybe a little older,
Now we can also get a hint of her personality. When the servant asked her for a drink from the jar, she promptly lowered that jar (she probably had it on her shoulder to head back home) and gave him some water. And that wasn’t all: she also offered to get water for all ten of the camels, too, Note that she poured water into a trough and—get this—she ran back to the well!
This is all the more remarkable when we realize camels can drink up to 25 gallons of water at a time, according to one of the Old Testament commentators! You’ve seen those one-gallon jugs of water in the fridge? Rebekah would have handled nearly 200 or more of them in order to get enough water for all those camels! Figuring her jar or pitcher may have only held 2 or 3 gallons (5 might be a stretch), she spent a lot of time in doing nothing but getting water for ten very thirsty camels. And there is not one single word of complaint on her part recorded in this text.
No doubt the servant was looking on in silence! He had prayed for a specific deed or set of deeds, and here came a beautiful, pure, young woman who did all he asked of her and even more. All of this, and it began before he finished his prayer. Now what was he going to do?
The proposal
Text, Genesis 24:22-27, NASB: 22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half-shekel, and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels in gold, 23 and he said, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room for us to stay overnight at your father’s house?” 24 She said to him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, Milcah’s son, whom she bore to Nahor.” 25 Again she said to him, “We have plenty of both straw and feed, and room to stay overnight.” 26 Then the man bowed low and worshiped the LORD. 27 And he said, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned His kindness and His trustworthiness toward my master; as for me, the LORD has guided me in the way to the house of my master’s brothers.”
We’re not told how the servant arrived at the conclusion that Rebekah was the one. True, he had prayed, and Rebekah had met the tests he had laid out, but he was still wondering, as of the end of verse 21, if she was the one. Now he did a couple of unusual things: first, he gave Rebekah three pieces of gold jewelry. Gold has always been valuable, and, again, this speaks of the wealth that this stranger—at the time—had to give to the person he chose. Then, he asked her, “Whose daughter are you? And, do you have room for us to stay overnight?” How would she respond?
Rebekah told the servant, “I’m Bethuel’s daughter, and he’s the son of Milcah, wife (or widow, perhaps) of Nahor”. That was evidence enough for the servant: Abraham had told him to find a wife from his kin or relatives (verse 4), and this young lady met that condition or, as is said often these days, she “checked the box”. She also said, in so many words, “We have plenty of room and food for you and your companions to stay the night with us.”
That was enough for Abraham’s servant! He bowed low, maybe to the ground, and worshiped the LORD. Either during this worship, or maybe just after, he prayed and praised the LORD again. He knew he was in the right place, and among the right people, and it was all because of the LORD and His guidance.
Much of the rest of this chapter has the story how the servant had been sent on this mission, the tests he had laid out and how Rebekah had passed these with flying colors, and how he would give them the choice, to either let Rebekah go with him back to Abraham’s land, or if they would keep her with them. We know part of the rest of the story: Rebekah’s brother and mother asked her, “Will you go with this man?” and she replied, “I will go.”
Maybe none of them knew it, but history was made with that one decision! Sure, Rebekah could, _could_, have said, “You know, I kinda like it here, and I’d rather get jugs of water at the well, so, thanks for the gifts but here I’ll stay” or something like that. No, she agreed to become Isaac’s wife and—get this—every physical descendant of Isaac could trace their ancestry back to Rebekah. Moses, David, and even Messiah Jesus were all her children!
And all of that goes back to a proposal, and an acceptance. “I will go.”
The epilogue
Text, Genesis 24:61-67, NASB: 61 Then Rebekah got up with her female attendants, and they mounted the camels and followed the man. So the servant took Rebekah and departed. 62 Now Isaac had come back from a journey to Beer-lahai-roi; for he was living in the Negev. 63 Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he raised his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming. 64 Rebekah raised her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel. 65 She said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?” And the servant said, “He is my master.” Then she took her veil and covered herself. 66 The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. 67 Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; so Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
Rebekah and other women got on the camels and began their journey to Isaac’s place. Remember, this was anywhere between 300 to 450 miles and I can only imagine the thoughts and perhaps conversations that took place while on that trip! Eventually they came close to where Isaac had gone out to meditate (there are other translations). Someone observed that being alone with God still means you’re in the best company ever!
Isaac, somehow, was prompted to look up—he “raised his eyes”—and saw camels coming! We’re not told what, if anything, he did at that point, but Rebekah sure did. She too “raised her eyes” and saw Isaac, even though she had no idea who he was. Rebekah then asked the servant, “Who’s that man coming towards us?” His reply, “He’s my master”, even though technically Abraham was the master. At any rate, he showed much respect to Isaac here.
Now that Rebekah knew who Isaac was, at least by sight and name, she modestly took a veil and covered herself. Whether this is the source for women wearing veils at a marriage ceremony or not isn’t the point, the point is that she proved to be modest when meeting Isaac.
Yet, Isaac may not have known who this young woman was, either! Had Abraham told him anything about this arranged marriage? The servant, to his credit, told Isaac everything and for Isaac, that was good enough. He brought Rebekah to his mother’s tent and there they were married. A true marriage at first sight!
Was this a good match? The proof is that Isaac loved Rebekah, and by the way, this is one of the first times in Scripture we’re told a man loved his wife! Unlike “experts” who study questionnaires, conduct interviews, visit singles, and the like for a reality TV show, God was the Expert here, and He arranged the best match possible for Isaac.
In conclusion, God has a mate in store for everyone. Trust Him, and prepare yourself to be a good husband or wife, first by being a believer in Jesus. Then, never marry a non-believer. You’ll have more problems than peace in a situation like that. Finally, once the Lord puts you together, LOVE that mate! LOVE that spouse! And live for Jesus every day of your life!
Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Version of the Bible (NASB)
