:Genesis 29:31-30:24 Lessons from the chaos
Today we are covering a narrative of all the kids that Jacob had. Jacob had 13 kids… with 4 women. Yes. You heard me correctly. 4 women. So we shall see how he ended up with 2 more wives after listening to his 2 marriages last week.
The story of Jacob is about a man striving to get on top. From the time he was born…He and Esau, his twin brother, were fighting. Jacob stole the birthright and blessing and then was sent 550 miles away from Esau so Esau would not kill him. He arrives at his Uncle’s house and I think the first 7 years were fairly good. He wanted to marry Rachel. But then Uncle Laban deceived him and gave him Leah for a wife and now Jacob has to work another 7 years for the wife he loves. He is angry that he has 2 wives. He did not want this. I will give him credit… He might not love her, but he did go in and sleep with her, like a husband should. In a polygamous marriage each woman gets her night with her husband.
And now we are on the narrative of Jacob having children. I mentioned earlier that the 12 sons and one daughter. The sons will be the 12 tribes of Israel.
As we begin…you will notice that Jacob isn’t striving or struggling anymore. He is sitting back. He is yielding to his wives. He is passive.
And his wives? They are struggling to be the number 1 wife. We are seeing how polygamy is not a good thing. It causes strife and chaos. We are also going to notice in this sermon and chapter 30…There is NOTHING we want to duplicate in our own lives. We are going to see 4 emotions throughout this chapter:
(Loneliness, desperation, jealousy , anger )
This is a record but we are not to imitate it. It reminds us that God accomplishes his greater purpose despite our sinfulness. So let’s start
Genesis 29:31-35
31 When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. 32 And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” 33 She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. 34 Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi.5 35 And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name aJudah.6 Then she ceased bearing.
The first verse said, When the LORD saw that Leah was whited…”. I went to see what other versions of the Bible said. It was hated, unloved, or despised. Jacob felt she manipulated him. At this point, we really don’t know if she was forced to obey her dad or not…but you can have a bit of understanding that Jacob did NOT want to have 2 wives. So you can understand that he wasn’t happy. He did not love her. What does a woman desire… “TO BE LOVED and cherished.” God synced women this way. So Leah is seeking her husband’s love.
Before we look at the names of the 4 sons. I want you to know that Leah’s name means weary. Tired. Back then women did not get to choose their husbands and this set up was not easy.
1. Reuben: “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction and now my husband will love me.” BEHOLD A SON
2. Simeon: “Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” TO BE HEARD…. A REPUTATION.
3. Levi: “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” ATTATCHED
4. Judah: “This time I will praise the LORD.” PRAISE THE LORD
Did you notice her spiritual walk? Her thinking has changed. The first 3 she held out hope that her husband would love her for giving him sons. The last time…she just praises God that she has 4 boys. Not many women have the favor of having all boys. She was an exalted woman in the community. Girls were not as valued.
Lesson: Sometimes we can’t change our problems, we need to look for the blessings and be joyful. (Change our attitude)
Genesis 30: 1- 2 When Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, she envied (jealousy) her sister. She said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I shall die!” 2 Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?”
My heart goes out to Rachel. I lost a baby and had a miscarriage. We were wondering if we would ever have a baby. I know other women who have problems getting pregnant… How do you keep positive when your friends are all having babies and you aren’t. Not easy. Especially a sister whom you have to see every day of your life.
But the question here is… what does she think makes her happy? Children? In reality…where does happiness and fulfillment come from? God. Not from a job, from children.
But we must prioritize God first, spouse and family, second. Hebrews 13:5 says , “Your conduct must be free from the love of money and you must be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you and I will never abandon you.” As we rest in this and learn contentment… we have inner peace, because we are resting in Him.
In our society today: Marriage and living together seems so all important. BUT THERE are still times of loneliness. God created us for Himself. Hebrews 13:5 I (God) will never leave you or forsake you.
2nd lesson Where is your fulfillment? If it isn’t God you have your life out of order.
Genesis 30: 3 Then she said, “Here is my servant Bilhah; go in to her, so that she may give birth on my behalf,[a] that even I may have children[b] through her.” 4 So …Jacob went in to her. 5 And Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. 6 Then Rachel said, “God has judged me, and has heard my voice and given me a son.” Therefore she called his name Dan.[c] 7 Rachel's servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. 8 Then Rachel said, “With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister and have prevailed.” So she called his name Naphtali.
So we see again, the temptation to follow culture and make life more chaotic by adding concubines into this war with Leah and having children. Notice Rachel actually says that she is prevailing, more powerful, more successful than her sister, Leah. I just shake my head, because Leah has 4 kids and now Rachel only has 2 through Bilhah. Talk about self-deception.
At this point Leah realizes she isn’t getting pregnant and her insecurities to come out again. She was relaxing and being content, but now she is restless and so she gives her servant Zilpah to Jacob and Zilpah has 2 sons called Gad and Asher.
What is Jacob doing during all this time? He is just going along with the wives. He is trying to appease them. Is it making them any happier? No. Is anyone truly happy? No. All they have is more chaos and now more women who are putting pressure on Jacob. And more jealousy as there are more women to one man.
This story is messy. It is full of jealousy and discord.
I Corinthians 10:6 Paul writes These things happened as examples for us, so that we will not crave evil things as they did.
Each child was born because the wife is trying to gain Jacob’s love and Jacob is doing what? He is sitting back. He is yielding to his wives. He is passive. And no one is happy. What does God want in a marriage? He wants the husband to be the spiritual leader. What did Isaac do when Rebekah could not get pregnant. He prayed for her. Do we see or hear Jacob doing this? No.
Ephesians 5:22-27 talks about marriage and the wife’s and husband’s role:
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Wives…did you notice God didn’t say for you to love your husband’s. He says submit. Why? Because when we love someone, it is easy to submit. When we stop loving our husband…we get high and mighty and think we are smarter than he is and do our own thing. God says submit. You can talk about the issues but final decision is HIS.
Side note: When I talk to girls who are thinking about marrying someone…I ask them. do you find your fiancé wise? Does he make good recommendations and sound judgement… because if he doesn’t you are going to be hard put in following him. Women can’t help but love the man that they admire.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
I have always thought it was interesting that God said to the husbands to LOVE their wives and that the Wives needed to DEFER or SUBMIT to the husbands. Why is it… Because men can love their work and their sports or hobbies… So they are challenged to keep life in order: God first, wife and kids, and then work or hobbies.
(This can also go the other way too…where the wife puts work before husband and kids)
This causes chaos and dysfunction in the family. Passivity in keeping the order correct causes dysfunction.
So with the men we need to be talking about decision making. As a couple you can talk about it but when a decision is made by the husband the wife needs to defer to his choice, unless it is sinful. Notice the verse also says he needs to be the spiritual leader. He needs to be praying for his wife and kids. He needs to encourage them to church and to lean into God.
Pastor Greg Brown put it this way In this case…Jacob doesn’t say no to them when they want to bring in concubines into marriage. His passivity leads to further chaos and dysfunction in the family.
How does God look at it?
God made one man and one woman in the beginning of Genesis. In Malachi, God commands an entire nation that monogamy was acceptable. Those who took additional wives were generally viewed asself-indulgent and sinful. Malachi 2:15
“ Then Pastor Greg Brown made a comparison that struck me. he compared it to Adam with Eve in the garden. You see Adam was next to Eve when Satan tempted her to eat the forbidden Fruit. He did not stop her. He did not say anything. And then when she hands it to him. He also eats it. His passivity…not speaking up against sin…allows a door to be opened. Sin comes in. his passivity or trying to keep the peace…has terrible consequences.
So where does this leave us:
3 pt. We need as families to foster male spiritual leadership. We need to help our sons to realize that they should be mindful of God and what God says is good. And show them in your life and other people’s lives…where chaos is from poor decision and where peace reins is from good decision of following God.
At the same time we need to raise our daughters to be women of God… who also knows their Bibles and follows God’s will.
In the end there are 12 sons and 1 daughter and a lot of unhappy people and kids. They followed the sins of Abraham (Grandpa) with his concubine and instead of learning from it… they repeated the sin. It is called Generational Sin. It can last up to 3-4 generations the Bible states. We not only have the concubines back into the family, but we also have favorites…. Parents choosing whom they love with Esau and Jacob. Now we have a favorite wife. We will also see later Favorite children as they get older. We need to be mindful of our dysfunctional families and what sins keep happening. Be mindful of them and tell your kids to watch out for this. (Ex. Drinking excessively…. Don’t even go there… we have a weak gene when it comes to drinking.) ( Men tend to marry dictator wives…don’t follow this pattern) (Divorce - we don’t seem to choose well or we get married too young.) Talk about the generational sin in your family and point them out to the kids….so they don’t have to go through the pain you did.
Today’s study had many lessons, but I will stop with these.
Takeaways- in the end…
1. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30
a. God first, spouse and family and then the rest. Balance. Keeps chaos from reigning.
2. Sometimes we can’t change our problems, we need to look for the blessings and be joyful. (Change our attitude
a. Grow where you are planted.
3. Families need to foster spiritual leadership with our children. Admire it. Talk about Godly decisions.
a. Point out Generational sins in your family as well as others. You are imparting wisdom. Helping them to see what brings happiness and what brings Chaos in this world.
