A. Ephesians 4:32- “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ
God forgave you.”
ILLUSTRATION:
Charles Swindoll tells the story of a Jewish rabbi named Saul Rosenberg, who one day did something really STUPID that terribly UPSET his wife, Ethel. He APOLOGIZED for it, and his
wife FORGAVE him.
However, from time to time, Ethel would MENTION what he had done. “Honey,” Saul finally asked one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was to ‘forgive and
forget.’”
“It is,” Ethel said. “I just don't want you to ever FORGET that I FORGAVE and FORGOT.”
1. The popular saying we’re studying today that’s not found in the Bible is: “FORGIVE and FORGET.”
a. We have all heard this PHRASE, and maybe have even SAID IT.
b. In years past, I have PREACHED sermons on this saying that “God wants us to FORGIVE and
FORGET”—and I was WRONG. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS!
ILLUSTRATION:
Most often this phrase is used in an attempt to COMFORT someone who has been HURT by
another and can’t get over it, so we say, “Don’t let this get you down. Just forgive and forget.”
Also, it has been used as a REBUKE from the person who HURT you, “Why can’t you just move on? Remember, the Bible says that you are to FORGIVE and FORGET!”
2. But can we really FORGET?
COMMENT:
If someone were to ask you to make a list of the people that HURT you, you can probably write
out a LONG LIST of those who have caused you PAIN.
These may be FAMILY MEMBERS, FRIENDS, COWORKERS, even FELLOW-CHRISTIANS. So many RELATIONSHIPS have been SHATTERED because of cruel WORDS and ACTIONS that have left those who have been HURT feeling BETRAYED. You seldom FORGET
the HURT or the PAIN someone has caused you.
3. And God doesn’t DEMAND that we do so.
COMMENT:
God is REALISTIC about our FORGIVING others. He DEMANDS that we FORGIVE, but He also knows that there are some HURTS that have produced DEEP SCARS that will always be there.
B. Paul said in Ephesians 4:32 that we are to “FORGIVE as God has FORGIVEN us.”
1. God’s FORGIVENESS of our SINS is the BASIS of our FORGIVING others who SIN against us.
a. I want you to take a MOMENT to THINK about the SINS you have COMMITTED in your
LIFETIME. (I know this may be PAINFUL, but it’s good to be reminded from time-to-time
of how FORGIVING God has been to us over the years.)
b. Even the Apostle Paul would refer to his PAST LIFE as a “persecutor of Christians”, and talk about the MERCY that God bestowed upon him, “the worst of sinners”- 1 Timothy 1:12-15.
COMMENT:
GO BACK IN YOUR MEMORY AS FAR AS YOU CAN: Think about the times when you DISOBEYED your PARENTS, when you MISTREATED your little brother or sister, when you LIED to your SCHOOL TEACHER. Think about the HURTFUL WORDS that you have SAID, the
GOSSIP you have SPREAD, the FRIENDS you have BETRAYED.
Remember your first EXPERIENCE with PORNOGRAPHY, the first time you SUCCUMB to the TEMPTATION of SEX before MARRIAGE, the time when you BROKE your MARRIAGE
VOW and committed ADULTERY with your co-worker?
Will you ever be able to FORGET the time when out of uncontrolled ANGER you SLAPPED your little girl and bloodied her NOSE, or when you DRANK too much and HIT your MOTHER or
your WIFE, or the time when you were out of a JOB and you CURSED God?
I haven’t even SCRATCHED the SURFACE listing the SINS that we have COMMITTED over the years, but if we have turned our lives over to Jesus, God has FORGIVEN us of us if ALL of our SINS. Therefore, we are to FORGIVE those who SIN against us.
2. The ISSUE is not whether we should FORGIVE (that is a COMMAND), but it’s FORGETTING!
COMMENT:
There are some SINS committed against ME that I will NEVER FORGET no matter how hard I try—and I have TRIED. Then there are some SINS that I have COMMITTED against others that I
WISH I could FORGET, but can’t. So, what does the BIBLE say about “FORGIVE AND FORGET”?
MESSAGE:
I. GOD DOES NOT FORGIVE AND FORGET
A. I know that someone of you have already turned to a PASSAGE that you believe TEACHES that
“God forgives and forgets”. We’ll get to that VERSE in a moment.
1. First, let me ASK you some QUESTIONS that if you AWARE of—please RAISE your HANDS.
a. How many of you know about the sin of adultery and murder that King David committed?
b. How many of you know about how Peter had denied knowing the Lord three times on the
night Jesus was arrested?
c. How many of you know about how Paul, then known as Saul of Tarsus, persecuted, arrested,
tortured, and consented to the death of those who were FOLLOWERS of Christ?
COMMENT:
How many of you believe that although these three men had COMMITTED horrible SINS that God had FORGIVEN them?
2. If God “FORGIVES and FORGETS”, then how do we even KNOW about these men’s SINS?
a. Our Omniscient (all-knowing) God does not have AMNESIA when it comes to our SINS.
COMMENT:
The reason we know about the SINS of David, Peter, and Paul (kind of sounds like a “60’s Folk Rock Band”, doesn’t it?) is because God has INSPIRED many writers to RECORD the SINS of His people throughout HISTORY—people whom He had FORGIVEN. Yet, their SINS, with all of its UGLINESS, are EXPOSED right there on the WRITTEN pages of the Bible
for people to READ throughout the AGES.
b. So all the SINS you and I have COMMITTED throughout our LIVES, God REMEMBERS each and every one of them—even though He has FORGIVEN us.
B. Let’s go to the VERSE.
1. Hebrews 8:12- “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”
a. Well, it sure sounds like “God forgives and forgets.” Let’s take a deeper look.
b. The Hebrew writer is quoting from Jeremiah 31:34.
COMMENT:
He is addressing Jewish Christians who were beginning to LEAVE the FAITH—to leave
Jesus Christ and return to the “OLD COVENANT”—the Law of Moses.
He is reminding them that 600 years before, God through the prophet Jeremiah “promised to give the Israelites a NEW COVENANT that was enacted in Jesus Christ, and through which
God will FORGIVE their wickedness and REMEMBER their sins NO MORE.”
c. This PROMISE is extended to EVERYONE who gives their LIVES to Christ.
2. Let’s delve into the phrase: “remember their sins no more”.
COMMENT:
We already established the fact that God does not FORGET out SINS—from the first SIN we ever COMMITTED to the one we COMMITTED this morning. He has FORGIVEN us, but He KNOWS every SIN that we have COMMITTED in our LIFE TIMES—even the ONES that
we have FORGOTTEN.
a. The Hebrew idea of REMEMBERING is different from our idea of REMEMBERING.
COMMENT:
To us, “REMEMBER” and “FORGET” are MENTAL ACTIVITIES. However, to the
Hebrew mindset, to “REMEMBER” and “FORGET” are ACTION WORDS.
b. Let me ILLUSTRATE from Scripture from both a NEGATIVE and POSITIVE point of view.
-Hosea 9:9- “They [Israelites] have sunk deep into corruption… God will REMEMBER
their wickedness and PUNISH them for their sins.” (ACTION WORDS.)
-Gen. 8:1- “But God REMEMBERED Noah and all the wild animals and the livestock that
were with him in the ark, and He SENT a wind over the earth, and the waters receded.”
ILLUSTRATION:
Does this mean that God was just taking a nice stroll in heaven one day and all of a sudden He THOUGHT, “Oh, my goodness, Noah! I totally FORGOT about him. …How long has that DUDE been on the BOAT?”? (“God REMEMBERED and God SENT.”)
c. So, when Scripture says that God “REMEMBERS” it means that He RENEWS His effort to
WORK in that person’s LIFE.
COMMENT:
When God REMEMBERS your “wickedness” He ACTS to DISCIPLINE you to bring you to REPENTANCE. Or when God REMEMBERS His PROMISE or His COVENANT, He ACTS to shower you with His GRACE. WHEN GOD REMEMBERS, HE ACTS.
3. What did God mean when He said, “I will remember your sins no more”?
a. It doesn’t mean that He FORGETS our SINS! But for those of us who are in the “NEW COVENANT”—whom have given our LIVES to Christ and LIVING for Him, it means that
“God will not NOW or EVER . . . ACT toward us in the way that our SINS deserve.”
b. Romans 6:23- “For the wages of sin is death [that’s what we DESERVE], but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord [that’s how God ACTS toward us].”
II. WE ARE TO FORGIVE AS GOD FORGIVES
A. Since Paul said that “we are to forgive each other as God forgives us”, how do we personally put into
ACTION—“FORGIVE AND REMEMBER THEIR SINS NO MORE”?
1. Although God does not FORGET our sins, He CHOOSES not to REMEMBER our sins and ACT
AGAINST us.
a. Again, there are some OFFENCES committed against us that we will NEVER forget, but we
can CHOOSE to “FORGIVE and REMEMBER NO MORE”.
ILLUSTRATION:
Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was a victim of a VICIOUS LIE told by a former FRIEND. But she had FORGIVEN her. Years later, another friend had REMINDED Clara of the LIE that was TOLD about her. When she IGNORED the COMMENT
and acted as if she had never heard of it, her friend recalled the CONVERSATION.
“Don’t you remember that?” she asked.
“No,” said Barton. “I distinctly remember FORGETTING it.”
b. So, how do we do that?
2. When I FORGIVE someone who has HURT me, how do I put “REMEMBER NO MORE” into
ACTION?
a. I will not bring it up to you again.
COMMENT:
When God said “I will remember your sins no more,” that means that He will never bring up that AFFAIR. He will never REMIND you of what you SAID and DID in ANGER. He won’t make you RELIVE the HURT you caused your FAMILY during the times you were DRINKING.
When you FORGIVE someone, you do not continue to REMIND that person what he or she did to HURT you?
b. I will not use it against you.
COMMENT:
The Apostle Paul writes that “love keeps no record of wrongs”- 1 Corinthians 13:5. When you FORGIVE someone—not only DO YOU NOT bring it up again, but you don’t seek REVENGE and TRY to HURT the person in return.
c. I will not talk about it to others.
COMMENT:
This is where “REMEMBERING NO MORE” often breaks down.
Why do we forgive our SPOUSE, our FRIEND, our CO-WORKER for something they said or did against us, and then TURN right around and TELL OTHERS about what they DID to us?
Is it because we want others to know what a BAD person he or she is? Is it because we don’t want others to LIKE them, and so we VILIFY them? Is it because we just like playing a VICTIM?
Whatever it is, when we say “I forgive you!”—it STOPS there. No one else needs to KNOW about it. And by GOSSIPING to others about it, we are now SINNING against that
person and we need to GO to him or her and ASK for FORGIVENESS.
d. I will not dwell on it.
COMMENT:
Paul said that God has given us the ability to “take CAPTIVE every THOUGHT and make
it OBEDIENT to Christ”- 2 Corinthians 10:5.
Again, I know there are some HURTS that you’ll never FORGET no matter how hard you try. However, once we have FORGIVEN someone, we ARE NOT to INTENTIONALLY try to
REMEMBER and DWELL on the OFFENSE in an attempt to RELIVE the HURT.
Hopefully and prayerfully those HURTFUL memories will begin to FADE more and more as you REBUILD your RELATIONSHIP with the one whom you have FORGIVEN.
B. FORGIVENESS involves WIPING the SLATE CLEAN.
1. Instead of being “ANGRY, BITTER and HURTFUL”, Paul said we are to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you”-
Ephesians 4:32.
a. The Greek word Paul uses for “FORGIVE” means to “let go, release, or remit.” It is
used elsewhere in Scripture in reference to “CANCELING a DEBT”.
ILLUSTRATION:
A person OWES you a great sum of MONEY, but you RELEASE him from the DEBT and mark it “PAID-in-FULL”. And by so doing, you don’t DECIDE a year from now to COLLECT. He OWES you nothing, and it’s never to be BROUGHT UP again.
b. It’s the same thing when we FORGIVE those who SIN against us. The debt is Paid-In-Full.
2. But please understand that “FORGIVING and REMEMBERING NO MORE” does not come
without SACRIFICE.
a. When you CANCEL a DEBT owed to you, that MONEY doesn’t MAGICALLY reappear in
your POCKET. It’s GONE. You can’t SPEND IT. You have to ABSORB the COST.
b. In the same way, FORGIVENESS requires that you ABSORB certain OUTCOMES of another
person’s SINS.
COMMENT:
Regaining TRUST and rebuilding the RELATIONSHIP with WHOM you have FORGIVEN, will take TIME. And some RELATIONSHIPS may never be the same . . . but you FORGIVE ANYWAY.
3. God CHOSE to SEND His Son to the CROSS to PAY for the DEBT of our SINS.
a. “Jesus ABSORBED the COST of our SINS on the CROSS”- 1 Peter 2:24.
b. We don’t DESERVE it, we cannot EARN it, nor can we ever REPAY it—but God CHOSE to
CANCEL the DEBT of our SIN—to FORGIVE us through His Son Jesus Christ, and He will
“REMEMBER OUR SINS NO MORE”.
4. THIS IS HOW WE ARE TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US!
CONCLUSION:
ILLUSTRATION:
A husband and wife who had been MARRIED for 20 years were beginning to have more than usual DISAGREEMENTS with hurtful things being said. So, they decided that maybe the best thing to do was to LIST each other’s FAULTS on a notepad and then discuss them in a civilized manner.
ILLUSTRATION (cont):
They sat down at the TABLE across from each other and both began WRITING. The WIFE wrote down 5 of her husband’s FAULTS and put down the PENCIL. But then she noticed her HUSBAND still WRITING. In fact, he was WRITING, then ERASING, and then WRITING some more. She thought, “He must be trying to perfect his list. I can do that too!” She then picked up her PENCIL and started writing a LONG LIST, turned the page, and WROTE some more.
After they were done, the WIFE handed her list to her husband. “Leaves the jelly top off the jar. Does not put dirty clothes in the hamper. Watches too much sports on television. Snores too loud.” On and on it went listing one FAULT after another. Her HUSBAND told her how SORRY he was, and said he would TRY his best to IMPROVE on the things she LISTED.
He then HANDED his wife his LIST. On each line a FAULT was listed, then ERASED, and then written in its place were the words “FORGIVEN”.
(I KNOW EVERY TIME I PREACH ON FORGIVENESS;
IT BRINGS UP PAINFUL MEMORIES.)
