We will be looking at why friendships matter, we will look at how Jesus modelled intentional relationships with us, and how to have christ-centred friendships. I want to ask you today, how many friends do you have? I want to point out this verse. Proverbs 17:17 FBV: A friend is someone you may or may not know well that accepts your friend request on Facebook. This person is born to like and comments on your posts to make you feel good about yourself.
Ok, that is the Facebook version, and it is FAKE, but I want to point out that it is what we these days see as friendships. We define it like that. We have friends by the thousands, and they like our things and photos and so forth but only make us feel good. There is no real-life happening here. Nothing not sharing a meal, no doing life or circle or bible study, nothing, but we seem to think that this is friendship on the top surface and as long as you do ok, we good friends, but as soon as life gets tough I am out, I even hear people say this "I do not have time for that negativity in my life."
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity. Would it not be amazing if we had 5 or 6 friends that loved us just as we are? Not only for better but also for worse. I am talking about decades, not only years, where we spend time investing in each other marriages and children, where we do life together, serve Jesus together, go on Swaziland missions together, and build God's kingdom together. Where I learn from you and you from me, where we can love you enough to tell you the truth when you doing something stupid, where I can l love you enough to kick your backside when you are about to do something that is about to hurt you, not playing the not my circus, not my monkeys rule?
But Social media is redefining what friendships are. Let us be honest, none of you phones your friend and goes, GUESS WHAT? YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE what is happening; what happened? I AM HAVING YOGHURT FOR BREAKFAST. You see, we fall into the trap of friendship on social media 5 minutes a day. We do not go out together, we do not help each other, we sit back on our phones and scroll and like a scroll and like, and we are more concerned about how we look in photos than what we feel in real life.
Guys the devil is selling us a lie that friendships are more likes, more Facebook friends, more followers, more retweets, more TikTok, more online but less offline. Still, we are lonelier than ever before, and we are more depressed than ever before. Why? Because we do not have human contact like Jesus wants us to, we replace it with fast food quick fixes only when we have happy friendships.
I clearly want to say that I am not against social media. I am called the social media stalker of the church, but I also love sharing God's word on Facebook and Instagram. We are addicted to Facebook, Instagram and social media, and we need to stop because it is not friendship; it is faked. Social media must not be the replacement but the supplement. In gym terms, you can take all the accessories you want, but if you do not do the work, it will not help. You need to WORK on friendships, and when you do the job, you can use the supplement to further it, not the other way around.
So I want to look at Jesus and how he shows us what an inner circle must look like. Why is it essential for all of us to have an inner circle? So I want to start off by reading Luke 5:1-11 (CSB) As the crowd was pressing in on Jesus to hear God's word, he was standing by Lake Gennesaret. 2 He saw two boats at the edge of the lake; the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. 3 He got into one of the boats, which belonged to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from the land. Then he sat down and was teaching the crowds from the boat.
4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into deep water and let down your nets for a catch."
5 "Master," Simon replied, "we've worked hard all night long and caught nothing. But if you say so, I'll let down the nets."
6 When they did this, they caught a great number of fish, and their nets began to tear. 7 So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them; they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
8 When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus's knees and said, "Go away from me, because I'm a sinful man, Lord!" 9 For he and all those with him were amazed at the catch of fish they had taken, 10, and so were James and John, Zebedee's sons, who were Simon's partners.
"Don't be afraid," Jesus told Simon. "From now on you will be catching people." 11 Then they brought the boats to land, left everything, and followed him.
Jesus modelled having a small group of very close friends. This passage from Luke is the beginning of their friendship. Now, this was not the first part of the conversation. They had had some discussion with him before, which began at John's baptism (Jn. 1:40, 41); they were with him at Cana of Galilee (Jn. 2:2) and in Judea (Jn. 4:3), but as yet they were not called to attend him constantly, and therefore here we have them at their calling, and now it was that they were called into a more intimate fellowship with Christ" (Matthew Henry, Commentary on John 5)
Jesus was intentional about calling these three to his side. According to the passage, they left their nets and followed him. "These three were present for miracles that the others were not. Jesus brings only those three with him to Jarius' house, where he raised his daughter from the dead. 'He allowed no one to go with Him but Peter, James, and John.' (Mark 5:37) They were also taken up the mountain for the miraculous transfiguration of Jesus. 'Jesus took with Him Peter and James and his brother John.' (Matthew 17:1)"
It brings me to my first point. You need to have an inner circle, and you need to go out and be intentional and selective of who your inner circle must be. Look at Jesus. We need to understand that He did not require people to help; he was God, but he intentionally chose his inner circle. You need to realize that Jesus took them to places and miracles, as I just mentioned, where no one else went. We can have 10 or 20 friends, but you need 2 or 3 people to walk the road with us.
The problem is that we look for friends that look like us, talk like us, and think like us, and unfortunately, it is people that live in the world and feels like the world. What I mean about that is We have too many friends telling us as long as we are happy and too little saying as long as that makes God happy.
We all need a friend that can come and tell us the truth. I have a team around me who constantly speak the truth, so I do not live in this bubble. Proverbs 27:5-6 (NIV) Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Genuine friendship provides correction. It is a relationship that manifests love and devotion through candid, even cutting, correction and concern for the good of the other.
Proverbs 27:9 (CSB) 9 Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.
A friend's earnest counsel is as sweet or pleasant as the fragrance emanating from perfume and incense. Genuine advice shows that a person cares.
To sum up, we need friends who make us better, a friend who can help us find spiritual strength and a friend who can speak the truth. Where do you find it, in your circle at church, when you serve at church when you volunteer. Now I can only use mine cause this is where I found friends at this church, volunteering, serving going to circle groups cause that allowed the people around me to change me for Him without me even noticing. So I would dare you to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to send you or move you in a direction where you can make these friends. You need friends like this.
No, I want to state this, your inner circle is not your gossip girl group. And ladies, men also gossip. We just do not tell you ladies about it. But I have seen why people are scared to make friends with Christians because we are very quick to jump and judge people.
Let me use this example. Brian Houston was released from Hillsong a while ago, and I was shocked and ashamed of how well-known Christian preachers condemned him and his family, calling them all kinds of names. I was like, what happens when I do something they do not like? How would they respond?
When I read this, I am glad that David was not living in our time, That Paul was not living in our time, even Jesus. I posted this photo a while ago on Facebook. I want to say that when you seek your inner circle and call yourself a Christ follower, seek people with Wisdom and Stature, and you know you can talk to them without feeling condemned. Maybe hold accountable, and it might sting but does not go behind you and hurt you more.
It brings me to my second point, based on the first point. "Friends must be constant to each other at all times. What do I mean by this? It means that you need friends that are there when you are having the summer months but also in the winter months.
Let me use this example. Not sure if you remember this analogy I did post covid. Can I have 3 volunteers on the stage? Can I ask for men? No, I do not exist. There is a reason for that, and you will see shortly why. Now let me show this example because some of you are visual learners. I am the same. I struggle with books, but I watch movies easier. Is anyone else like that?
Good. When life goes well, it is easy to be in your inner circle, to speak life, and to do things together to give Wisdom because, generally, it is easier if we are on the same page and nothing goes wrong. We all held hands and sang kumbaya. Do not worry; I won't ask you guys to hold hands.
But in any inner circle, even with Jesus' inner circle, things do not always go the correct way or the Godly way. So what happens is that the devil comes and wants to destroy your inner circle. He wants to break up this inner circle, so he infiltrates this inner circle and then, before you know it, you have a friend that has fallen. Now, remember I say that our friends in our inner circle must stay constant. Well, here comes the test.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 (CSB)12 And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. You see the inner circle. Now when one man fails, we can help him up and out as other men. As I said in my first point, we can get him out when we pray for him and speak the truth in love with him. But we need to be careful not to take a photo and put it on social media condemning him for his actions.
Remember Peter and the boat. Peter was in the inner circle and remembers this story:
Matthew 14:28-33 (CSB) Lord, if it's you," Peter answered him, "command me to come to you on the water." 29 He said, "Come." And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" 32 When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 Then those in the boat worshiped him and said, "Truly you are the Son of God."
The problem is when other friends do not help him up or we give advice, what will happen is we will also fall into this trap, and we will also fail. And that is how you break up your inner circle. Let us be honest. We all lost very good friends and lost good friendships because of this very situation.
Jesus helped Peter immediately as soon as he started to sink and fall. He picked him up, held him accountable and then moved on. Peter was held accountable but even had more awe of Jesus. It does not mean when you help once it is done. Remember Peter Denying Jesus 3 times glory right again he has fallen, but look what happened at Pentecost, which we just celebrated recently.
Acts 2:14 (CSB) Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice, and proclaimed to them, "Fellow Jews and all you residents of Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and pay attention to my words. Here with the power of the Holy Spirit. Peter preached, and God used him mightily. Like in a big big way.
Acts 2:37-41 (CSB) When they heard this, they were pierced to the heart and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, "Brothers, what should we do?"
38 Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39 For the promise is for you and your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call." 40 With many other words he testified and strongly urged them, saying, "Be saved from this corrupt generation!" 41 So those who accepted his message were baptized, and that day about three thousand people were added to them.
Man, can you imagine 3000 people? I mean, last week saw so many people walk to be baptized in the Holy Spirit, my mouth was hung open, and I could not believe it, and that was not even close to a thousand. And after that, let us read further.
Acts 2:42-47 (CSB) They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and signs were being performed through the apostles. 44 Now all the believers were together and held all things in common. 45 They sold their possessions and property and distributed the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple, and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with joyful and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. Every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.
Remember the first verse, I shared our vision for 2022. Can you imagine if Jesus gave up on Peter? Can you imagine if Jesus gave up on you? Do you know what is interesting about what Jesus did? He knew Peter would deny and doubt him, but He still used Him and had Peter in his inner circle.
We cannot do life alone. We were not made for it. Jesus had people by his side, he had an inner circle, and if we want to follow and be more like Jesus, we need to have friends and an inner circle. A circle we can trust, a circle of people that can pray with us, read the bible with us, loves us with all our faults, accept us but wants to journey with us to be closer and more like Christ, to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to show the Fruit of the Spirit to others. But Jesus did not wait for them to come to Him. He went and sought them.
We need to go out and seek these friends. Guys, we had it wrong waiting for people to come to us. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to give us Wisdom and discernment in choosing the right friends that will help, guide, and pray for us. And also, when we fall, help us up and not take a photo on social media and condemn them into the hell of social media opinion.
