A. I like the story of a battleship captain who looked into the dark horizon one night and saw faint lights in the distance.
1. Immediately he told his signalman to send a message, “Alter your course 10 degrees south."
2. Promptly a return message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north.”
3. The captain was angered; his command had been ignored. So he sent a second message: “Alter your course 10 degrees south--I am a captain!”
4. Soon another message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north--I am a seaman third class.”
5. Immediately the captain sent a third message, knowing the fear it would evoke: “Alter your course 10 degrees south--I am a battleship.”
6. The reply came “Alter your course 10 degrees north - I am a lighthouse.”
7. Although you or I might be a “battleship,” God is the “lighthouse.”
a. Battleships must learn to submit to lighthouses.
B. Submission is an ugly word in our culture, but it is an important key to spiritual maturity and to experiencing real Christian community.
C. James Dobson, founder and former president of Focus on the Family, shared a marvelous story about the difficulty we have submitting to one another.
1. Dobson tells about a ten-year-old boy named Robert, who was a patient of his good friend, Dr. Slonecker.
a. Dr. Slonecker and his pediatric staff dreaded the days when Robert was scheduled for a visit.
b. Robert literally attacked the clinic, grabbing instruments and files and telephones.
c. His passive mother could do little more than shake her head in bewilderment.
2. During one physical examination, Dr. Slonecker observed severe cavities in Robert’s teeth and knew that the boy must be referred to a dentist.
a. But who would be given the honor?
b. A referral like Robert could mean the end of a professional friendship.
c. Dr. Slonecker eventually decided to send him to a dentist who had the reputation of knowing how to handle difficult children.
3. The confrontation that followed now stands as one of the classic moments in the history of human conflict.
a. Robert arrived in the dental office, prepared for battle.
b. The dentist said to him, “Get into the chair, young man.”
c. Robert said, “Not a chance!”
d. “Son, I told you to climb on to the chair, and that’s what I intend for you to do,” said the dentist.
4. Robert stared at his opponent for a moment and then replied, “If you make me get in that chair, I will take off all my clothes.”
a. The dentist calmly said, “Then go ahead and take them off.”
b. The boy removed his shirt, undershirt, shoes and socks, and then looked up in defiance.
c. “All right, son,” said the dentist, “Now get in the chair.”
d. “You didn’t hear me,” sputtered Robert. “I said if you make me get on that chair, I will take off all my clothes.”
e. “I heard you, and I said, ‘Then go ahead and take them off,’ ” replied the dentist.
f. Robert proceeded to remove his pants and shorts, and finally stood there totally naked before the dentist and his assistant.
5. The dentist then said, “Now, son, get in the chair.”
a. Robert did as he was told, and sat cooperatively through the entire procedure.
b. When the cavities were drilled and filled, Robert was told to step down from the chair.
c. “Give me my clothes now,” said the boy.
d. “I’m sorry,” replied the dentist, “Tell your mother that we’re going to keep your clothes tonight, but she can pick them up tomorrow.” (as you can tell this incident happened many decades ago)
6. Can you imagine the shock Robert’s mother experienced when the door to the waiting room opened, and there stood her son, as naked as the day he was born?
a. The room was filled with patients, but Robert and his mom walked past them into the hall and down to their car in the parking lot.
7. The next day, Robert’s mother returned to retrieve his clothes, and asked to have a word with the dentist.
a. Believe it or not, she had not come to protest.
b. This is what she said to the dentist: “You don’t know how much I appreciate what happened here yesterday. You see, Robert has been blackmailing me about his clothes for years. Whenever we are in a public place, such as the grocery store, he makes unreasonable demands of me. If I don’t immediately buy him what he wants, he threatens to remove his clothes. You are the first person who called his bluff, and the impact on Robert has been incredible.”
D. Like Robert, many of us will do whatever is necessary to get our way.
1. In fact, that is exactly how Philip Crosby described human nature in his book The Art of Getting Your Own Sweet Way.
a. “People are not complex,” he writes. “They really just want to achieve their personal definition of peace and quiet and to have their own sweet way.”
2. Unfortunately, Christians are not immune to the selfish temptation to want to have things their own way.
a. Most church fights and splits occur because people do not want to give in to one another.
b. They usually insist that a critical issue is at stake, and that they are fighting over a sacred principle.
c. Sometimes that is true, but usually it’s not.
d. Often we do not give in simply because giving in would mean not getting our way.
3. Usually our threat is not that we will take off our clothes, but it is something just as foolish – we will take our marbles and go home.
4. We threaten to leave and never come back, or we threaten to leave and take everyone with us.
E. So how do we avoid these kinds of immature attitudes and behaviors in the church? The answer is: We learn to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
1. The verse where this “One Another” command is found is Ephesians 5:21.
2. The CSB reads: “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.”
3. The NIV reads: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
4. NAS reads: “and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”
5. KJV reads: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
6. The Message reads: “Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.”
F. “Submission,” in essence, is a synonym for “obedience” or “deference.”
1. In its most general use, submission means to yield to another’s admonition and advice.
2. In Scripture it appears in contexts describing servanthood and humility, respect and reverence, honor and teachableness, and openness.
3. All of those things have one basic purpose – they fulfill our obedience to Christ.
G. The concept of “submission” is applied by biblical writers to a number of Christian relationships.
1. Wives are exhorted to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22: 1 Peter 3:1-6).
2. Children are admonished to submit to their parents (Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20).
3. Christians are instructed to submit to government authorities (Rom. 13:1; 1 Pet. 2:13).
4. Christians are commanded to submit to the leaders in the church (Heb. 13:17).
5. Servants are instructed to submit to their masters (Titus 2:9; Eph. 6:5).
H. Now, I want to be quick to point out that Christians who are in positions of authority are commanded to function in their positions with a submissive attitude.
1. Husbands are directed to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph. 5:25).
2. Fathers are to deal sensitively with their children (Eph. 6:4).
3. Elders are commissioned to be “servant leaders” and not lord it over others (1 Pet. 5:1-4).
4. Christian masters are to treat their servants fairly and sensitively (Eph. 6:9).
5. And so, husbands, parents, elders, and bosses must all conduct themselves with the understanding that they are in submission to God and to one another as well.
I. This mutual submission, even by those who are in authority, is a distinctive concept made possible by Jesus Christ.
1. When Christ came into the world, He brought into being a whole new approach to functional relationships between people.
2. In the “Gentile world,” as Jesus called it, there was no such thing as mutual submission.
3. Do you remember that day during Jesus’ ministry when the disciples were arguing among themselves regarding who was the greatest?
4. This is what Jesus said to set them straight: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt. 20:25-28)
J. In Christ all believers have the responsibility to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
1. Even those who have positions of authority – such as elders, husbands, parents and masters – they are to relate to others with an attitude of submission.
2. This was demonstrated so beautifully and powerfully for us when Jesus, the Lord of the universe, became a servant to all.
3. Paul described it this way: “your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! (Phil. 2:5-8)
K. The apostle Paul, who recorded these observations about Christ, and who gave us the command to submit to one another, also put this command into practice in his own life.
1. Look with me at something that happened in Acts 21 during Paul’s ministry.
2. The Bible says: When we arrived at Jerusalem, the brothers received us warmly. The next day Paul and the rest of us went to see James, and all the elders were present. Paul greeted them and reported in detail what God had done among the Gentiles through his ministry. When they heard this, they praised God. Then they said to Paul: “You see, brother, how many thousands of Jews have believed, and all of them are zealous for the law. They have been informed that you teach all the Jews who live among the Gentiles to turn away from Moses, telling them not to circumcise their children or live according to our customs. What shall we do? They will certainly hear that you have come…”(Acts 21:17-22)
3. This event took place as Paul’s third missionary journey came to an end.
4. Let’s be clear about the problem – rumors had spread to Jerusalem that Paul had encouraged Jewish Christians to forsake their ancestral faith and customs.
5. It may be difficult for us to understand the threat this posed to some Jewish Christians at the time.
6. A parallel for today might be someone telling Christians in America that “Since you believe in God, you no longer are allowed to observe your nation’s holidays. The Fourth of July and President’s Day are definitely out. Also, the Constitution, don’t pay attention to it.”
7. This, of course, is not a perfect parallel, but for the Jews, their religious and national heritage were intertwined.
8. When Jews became Christians, they still honored the law and observed the Jewish feasts and circumcised their male infants.
9. So when rumors reached Jerusalem that Paul was telling Jewish Christians to abandon their ancient customs, a problem arose, just as you can imagine it would.
L. Faced with this unfounded rumor, the elders suggested a solution, the Bible says: “…so do what we tell you. There are four men with us who have made a vow. Take these men, join in their purification rites and pay their expenses, so that they can have their heads shaved. Then everybody will know there is no truth in these reports about you, but that you yourself are living in obedience to the law.” (Acts 21:23-24)
1. This is the same kind of vow that Paul had taken when leaving Corinth back in Acts 18.
2. A Nazarite vow was quite involved and often was taken to thank God for some blessing.
a. It entailed abstaining from meat and wine for 30 days.
b. Afterward, certain offerings were made, and one’s hair was cut off and burned on the altar with the sacrifices.
3. This vow was costly and was beyond the resources of many.
4. It was, therefore, considered an act of piety for a wealthier person to defray the expenses of someone taking the vows.
5. That is what Paul was asked to do: finance these four men and demonstrate that he was not opposed to Jewish Christians observing Jewish customs.
M. So, would Paul do it?
1. He knew there was no truth to the rumors about him.
2. So why submit to this expense when he was right, and when he had done nothing wrong?
3. He could have “pulled rank” as an apostle, right? He could have dug in his heels.
4. What did he do? The Bible says: The next day Paul took the men and purified himself along with them. Then he went to the temple to give notice of the date when the days of purification would end and the offering would be made for each of them. (Acts 21:26)
5. So in other words, what did Paul do? He submitted himself to the wishes of others.
6. Why did he do that? Luke did not explain, but we conclude that it was for the sake of unity.
7. He willingly set aside being right and defending himself for a higher good.
8. He submitted himself to others out of reverence for Christ.
N. So as we try to finish up this lesson and apply it to our lives, let’s clarify what mutual submission is and what it is not, and then let’s conclude with why it is so important.
1. First of all, mutual submission is not about being a doormat.
a. We do not submit to one another because we have no rights and we are lesser than others.
b. Richard Foster a famous writer and professor of Christian disciplines wrote; “Jesus called us to self-denial without self-hatred. Self-denial is simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have it our own way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want. Self-denial does not mean the loss of our identity as some suppose. Without our identity we could not even be subject to each other. Did Jesus lose his identity when he set his face toward Golgotha? Did Peter lose his identity when he responded to Jesus’ cross-bearing command, ‘Follow me.’ (Jn 21:19)? Did Paul lose his identity when he committed himself to the one who said, ‘I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name’ (Acts 9:16)? Of course not. We know the opposite was true. They found their identity in the act of self-denial.” (Celebration of Discipline, p. 99)
c. Submission is an act of love – love for God, love for ourselves, and love for others.
d. Submitting to one another is certainly not a submission to one another’s sins.
e. It is not loving to allow someone to abuse us or to abuse others in one way or another.
f. And so first of all, we must understand that submission is not about being a doormat.
2. Second, mutual submission is an attempt to put others first.
a. It is a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, and doing what is best for others.
b. Ultimately, submission flows out of our strength, not our weakness.
c. Submission is a sign of strength, not weakness.
d. In John 13, when Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, it says that he knew who He was and therefore He made Himself their servant.
e. Jesus knew how great and special He was, and that’s why He could put on the towel and wash their feet.
f. It is God who gives us the spiritual strength to live in submission to one another.
O. And why is submission so important? Let me offer two reasons.
1. First, submission fosters freedom.
a. Real freedom is the ability to lay down the burden of always needing to get our own way.
b. Listen again to Richard Foster: “The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. People will spend weeks, months, and even years in a perpetual stew because some little thing did not go as they wished. They will fuss and fume. They will get mad about it. They will act as if their very life hangs on the issue. They may even get an ulcer over it. In the discipline of submission, we are released to drop the matter, to forget it. Frankly, most things in life are not nearly so important as we think they are. Our lives will not come to an end if this or that will not happen.” (p. 97)
c. So, submission leads to freedom.
2. Second, submission is the essence of Christianity.
a. Martin Luther said, “A Christian…is the most free lord of all and subject to no one; a Christian…is the most dutiful servant to all and subject to everyone.”
b. We cannot read the NT without coming across the call to lay aside our desires – at times – for the good of Christ and one another.
c. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Mk. 8:34)
d. Paul said of his life, “Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews...To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.” (1 Cor. 9:19-22)
P. Learning to submit ourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ is the best thing we can do for ourselves and for others, and for Christ and His church.
1. May God’s Spirit move in us in a way that molds us and makes us like Christ, who had a submissive spirit.
2. No matter who we are, we must learn to submit to God, and to authorities, and to each other.
3. If battleships are wise, they will submit to the lighthouse; and so will we.
4. If we don’t learn to submit to God, and submit to authorities, and submit to one another, then our ship will surely sink.
Resources:
Building Up One Another, by Gene A. Getz, Victor Books, 1981
“Honor One Another,” Sermon by Adrian Dieleman, SermonCentral.com
“Submit to One Another,” Sermon by David Owens, 2009
