When I graduated from seminary, I had no idea when or where I would be called into ministry. Many of my classmates were luckier. They knew where they were going. They had received a call. I, on the other hand, would not even be eligible to receive a call for at least one year, perhaps two or more. Others of our fellow graduates fall somewhere between these two extremes. Some of our brothers and sisters may find themselves wrestling with God, caught in the limbo of not knowing how to interpret the uncertainty of their position. Why is it, we may ask ourselves, that God should have called us into his service, only to leave us hanging out to dry while districts and congregations review our resumes? Were we mistaken about our call? How are we to respond?
It may be that my position was more comfortable than most, because I knew more or less how long I had to wait, and why. I waited because I chose to become a Presbyterian at the end of my seminary education rather than at the beginning, and their regulations required a two-year examination process. The rules do allow for waiver of one of those years for what they call an "extraordinary candidate," but even with all the reasons I could think of why they should have granted me that status, the board did not agree with me.
In a way, I suppose you could say that I set myself up for the delay; I didn't need to do it. I could have chosen to join the Evangelical Covenant Church, or the American Baptists, or the United Methodists. Why did I volunteer to put myself through it? Wouldn't it have been more in keeping with my sense of calling to have chosen a route that would get me into active service as soon as possible? Was I willing to tolerate this postponement because I was reluctant to engage the enemy? Was it evidence of spiritual cowardice? I have to confess that I asked myself those questions.
While preparing this sermon I found that Paul's example illuminated my own condition. I believe that in the same way it may provide both comfort and direction to those of you who, either upon graduation or at some later date in your ministry career, find yourself facing unexpected setbacks or delays, times when you feel that God is not using you where you believe with all your heart he has called you to serve. By all means, do re-examine your sense of call, in prayer and in conference with peers and mentors. But at the same time do not assume that a delay is God's way of steering you into a different vocation. I am convinced that, more often than not, what seems like delay from our perspective is a gift from God to complete our preparation for ministry. Our preparation, like our ministry itself, is under the sovereignty of God, and we can serve him best not by questioning or chafing under his timing but in developing three important habits.
The first habit we must develop is one of gratitude. I don't mean the kind of sugary piety that seems to require us to pretend that there is no such thing as disappointment or pain or sadness. I'm talking about learning to see the hand of God. Note the way Paul begins today's passage: First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all, because your faith is being proclaimed throughout the whole world. [Rom 1:8] Now, Paul often begins his letters with an expression of thanks. 1 Corinthians 1:4, Ephesians 1:15-16, Philippians 1:3, and Colossians 1:3 all demonstrate this. But I do not believe that we can assume it is an empty social formula just because it is Paul's custom. Where occasion for thanks is lacking, in Galatians & II Corinthians, Paul omitted it. He was no hypocrite; I believe that Paul had, in fact, learned the habit of gratitude, just as he had urged the Thessalonians to do in 1 Thessalonians 5:18. But how on earth can he be grateful and honest at the same time? Why isn't he frustrated? I would have been.
Paul's letter to the Romans was written from Corinth toward the end of his second stay there. He had been actively engaged in the ministry to which the Lord had called him. He has already identified himself, at the very beginning of the letter, as "an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God... to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles." [Rom 1:1,5b] He reiterates his calling in 15:16: "to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles." As the apostle to the Gentiles Paul had planted churches all over Asia Minor, in Macedonia, and right there in Greece. But the mission field was still wide open elsewhere, and the needs in all parts of the known world called out to him. Rome had a special claim, as the center of the Empire; indeed, the evangelist Luke would see it as the culmination of Paul's missionary activity, the fulfillment of Jesus' commission in Acts 1. But Paul himself wants to go even beyond Rome, to Spain. His specialty is "unreached people groups" and someone else had already planted the Roman church. He tells us this in v. 15:20: "And thus I aspired to preach the gospel, not where Christ was already named, that I might not build on another man's foundation." But at this point in his life he is prevented from doing either. Instead, Paul is escorting a delegation of representatives from the Gentile churches carrying an offering to the Jerusalem church.
So how is Paul handling the disappointment? Paul is grateful for the Romans' faith, which is being "proclaimed throughout the whole world." He's not resentful that he won't be the first, that he will be building on another's work. He's not afraid that without his presence God's work won't get done. He's not anxious that there won't be anything left for him to do. And to top it all off, Paul is actually grateful to the very One who is preventing him from getting there - again. He knows that God is in charge of the timing - and accepts it.
Notice Paul's attitude. It's not one of entitlement. You'll never catch Paul saying to God, "Here I've devoted my life to you; now you owe me an exciting ministry." I think that the entitlement mentality of the 1990's has poisoned Americans' ability to give thanks. We're far more apt to focus on what we don't have; we think that we have natural rights to the quite extraordinary benefits God has lavished on us; so we hardly even see them any more. We Americans - even Christian Americans, and I don't exempt myself - often take our wealth for granted, considering ourselves slighted when we can't afford to eat out, instead of being grateful that we can eat at all. How many of us could have responded as the first Pilgrims did at the first Thanksgiving? Remember the condition they were in? Half their number had already died of disease or deprivation; they were facing a winter of severe hardship in abysmal conditions during which more would undoubtedly perish. They had taken incredible risks for God, in order to practice their faith as they believed he had called them to. Weren't they entitled to the land of milk and honey they had hoped for? That's what the 20th century American would say. Those poor Puritans. They didn't have our advantages; they didn't know about entitlements. Instead they praised God for having brought them thus far, and for giving them hope in their ultimate triumph.
Gratitude is partly a matter of what counselors nowadays call "self-talk." What do you tell yourself about what's happening to you? What kind of basic assumptions underlie your reactions? One of my trials at the moment, as I'm obediently jumping through the Presbyterian denominational hoops, is having to take polity at UTS. I was very rebellious about it for a while, and scared, as well. I know what the liberal wing of Christendom thinks of us evangelicals, and I already get enough flak from my Unitarian friends and family about being rigid and intolerant. It's important to me to be liked, and I was quite sure I wouldn't be. At the beginning things were just as bad as I had expected. So I lined up a squadron of pray-ers to uphold me on Thursday afternoons, and to my surprise I started realizing how important this experience was in preparing me for running the ordination gauntlet. I have been learning how to be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove, in preparation for facing the Presbytery's examination board. I am exercising spiritual muscles I will need for the work to which I believe God has called me. So I am grateful.
The reason Paul could be grateful is because he saw what God was doing. What did Paul see, what did Paul tell himself about what God was doing in his life & the life of the Roman church? Look ahead to chapter 15:21-22:
...as it is written, "They who had no news of Him shall see, & they who have not heard shall understand." For this reason I have often been hindered from coming to you.
Paul understood and rejoiced that the delay was for God's glory, to display his sovereignty; whatever work he, Paul, was destined to do would supplement the work of God's Spirit, not supplant it. If Paul had planted the Roman church himself, how many people would have ascribed it to Paul's activity rather than to God's? When Paul heard of the Romans' faith he saw another example of God's power, he understood the purpose behind God's timing, and he was grateful.
When we see God at work, when God shows us that he is in control, we are strengthened not only to give thanks, but to trust. Gratitude begets trust, and trust begets obedience.
For the second habit we must develop is one of obedience. Paul goes on in v. 9-10 to explain to the Roman church why it is that he is not yet on his way to them.
"For God, whom I serve in the spirit in the preaching of the gospel of His Son, is my witness as to how unceasingly I make mention of you, always in my prayers making request, if perhaps now at last by the will of God I may succeed in coming to you."
Here Paul emphasizes for the second time in the same chapter that he is God's servant. He is not free to come to Rome until the Lord sends him there, and that hasn't happened. Paul doesn't tell us why it is necessary for him to escort the offering to Jerusalem before proceeding on to Rome, but he's been planning it for a long time, since before the riot in Ephesus expelled him from that city. Acts 19:21 tells us that "Paul purposed in the spirit to go to Jerusalem after he had passed through Macedonia and Achaia, saying, "After I have been there, I must also see Rome." He had planned to sail directly back to Syria from Corinth, and might have made it back to Jerusalem for Passover if there hadn't been a plot to kill him. He wound up, instead, having to go back over familiar territory, returning to Palestine overland through Macedonia and back down the coast of Asia Minor, and celebrated the Passover feast halfway through the journey in Philippi. But Paul had never let the Jewish rites and rituals stand in the way of his ministry to the Gentiles, so the festival can't be the reason he had to make a detour to Jerusalem.
So where did his priorities come from? His decision, Paul said, was made "in the spirit." I think we can safely assume that God had made it very clear to Paul that it was necessary for him to accompany the offering. I suspect that God had also made it clear to him that he was not to risk his life on the pilgrim boat sailing from Corinth to Syria. Paul was not ordinarily one to let a little danger stand in his way, unless the Spirit stopped him.
So what did Paul do, when God made him take the long way around before going on to his final objective, to preach the gospel in Spain following a short stay in Rome to encourage the saints? Did he do only what was necessary, just marking time? Or did he throw himself with redoubled enthusiasm into his work for the Lord, continuing to preach and teach and encourage the infant churches? I think we all know the answer to that. Paul never let an opportunity to preach the gospel go by, even if his hearers weren't the ones he had originally anticipated. Paul's obedience to the Holy Spirit opened up ministry opportunities which would never have occurred otherwise, from his farewell to the Ephesian elders to his witness in Jerusalem and Caesaria. He did eventually get to Rome, although not, perhaps, in the manner he had once planned.
Sometimes obedience means retracing your steps.
A good friend whom I'll call Mary would have graduated seminary the same year I did. She came here to study Hebrew in preparation for doctoral work in Old Testament studies and an eventual career as a professor. Her denomination, a fringe Lutheran church with extremely conservative views on women in ministry, had trouble affirming even that kind of work. In her senior year, Mary preached for the first time. That experience made it clear to her that she could not let her denomination's views quench the call of the Lord. Last summer, frustrated at the difficulty of obtaining Lutheran field education experience, she walked through the only open door and spent ten weeks doing a unit of CPE. In this intense crucible of ministry to the desperate, the ill, the wounded, the dying, and their families, God spoke through her again and again. In doing so, he spoke to her as well. Mary now feels called into parish ministry, preaching and teaching the word of God and administering the grace of God. She is a Lutheran; a Baptist MDiv will not suffice. In obedience to God's call, Mary left her family church, founded by her great-grandfather and still largely populated by her cousins and inlaws. They consider her apostate. She left the Baptist seminary which had loved her, nurtured her, and encouraged her to recognize and follow her call. She accepted the additional two years of work and study it would take to complete her degree at the nearest Lutheran seminary.
Sometimes obedience looks like an awfully long way around.
Why does God do things that way? Doesn't he know how urgent it is to spread the gospel? You may laugh, but sometimes I think our attitudes imply that very thing. We have no way of knowing why the delay is occurring. Maybe we're not ready. Maybe the time simply isn't ripe. But when we find ourselves shunted off on a siding when we thought we had tickets on the express, we have four choices. We can live entirely in the future, straining at the bit, pressuring God to hurry up and come through, and ignoring the opportunities in the present. Or we can throw up our hands with a "God's will be done" in a pretense of piety, abandoning our hopes for the future, refusing to look ahead for fear of disappointment. We can destroy both the present and the future in endless speculation and analysis. Or we can follow Paul's example, using full participation in the present as a means for preparing for the future.
The third habit we must develop is one of preparation. Up to this point what had Paul been doing? He had been actively planting churches and at the same time actively planning to visit the Roman church and beyond. Let's look at the rest of our passage, starting with v. 13:
"And I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that often I have planned to come to you (and have been prevented thus far) in order that I might obtain some fruit among you also, even as among the rest of the Gentiles. I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish. Thus, for my part, I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome."
Paul considered no one part of his ministry objectives more important than the others. He is equally obligated by the terms of his call and commission to all the Gentiles, whether rural or urban, Greek, Roman, Asian, or Iberian. Where God puts him he will serve, and he has served. But all that Paul has learned up to this point is being hammered into a comprehensive theology which has served for two thousand years as the doctrinal backbone of Christianity. The letter itself is an example of this principle of preparation. The fact that he is writing the letter at all is part of his process of preparing the Roman church for his visit. He is establishing contact, affirming their importance to him, reiterating his hopes for them. The content of the letter is the fruit of his ministry over the previous ten years or so, not to mention the years between his conversion and his commissioning. All that Paul has learned about the conflicts between and among the congregations he has served is distilled in the following pages. Did Paul design the timing of his missionary journeys knowing that the cosmopolitan nature of the Roman community would require the kind of ministry experience which would produce this level of theological discussion? I think not. But God did.
God calls each of us in the way most suited to the ministry for which he has designed us. Today's readings from the Old Testament and the Gospels illustrate this principle. Peter and Andrew, James and John left their nets when Jesus called. Though it appears from John's gospel that they may have met Jesus earlier, the moment of their call and the moment of their response was the same. Their apprenticeship was part of the terms of the call. David, on the other hand, was anointed by Samuel to the kingship of Israel - and then went back to tending his sheep. He went through an extensive training period, as a court musician, where he saw firsthand the problems of the monarchy and the results of Saul's estrangement from God. He developed his military skills, first under Saul as a commander of regular troops and later as a leader of guerilla forces. He developed friendships and alliances and experience in government. But note the two things David did not do: he refused to hurry God by using unlawful means to depose Saul, and he never went to Samuel to have the burden of God's call removed.
How then do we live in the present while at the same time living for the future? It's a delicate balance. The illustration about the plowman keeping the furrows straight by focusing on the horizon, fits just as well here. A perspective that elevates the overall objective enables us to stay on track for each step of the journey of obedience. If we remember that God doesn't waste anything we can take today's experiences and save them for future use. In fact, by having placed an obstacle in our paths God has, in effect, told us that at this moment we are called to minister in the context of the present circumstances, whatever they may be. If we live our lives intentionally, with each part submitted to God for review and correction, all the pieces will grow into a coherent whole that will be increasingly useful for the work of the kingdom.
Nothing God gives you is wasted, unless you throw it away. Everything that God gives you can be turned to his advantage, even the pieces you didn't want or didn't know you needed.
God has called each one of us into his service. I believe we are all eager to serve. But we cannot let our eagerness cheat us of the benefits of a healthy gestation.
I don't know a lot of women who actively enjoy every minute of a pregnancy. My godchildren's mother lost weight during the last two. She had morning sickness twelve hours a day for eight months. But she loves being pregnant because of what is happening. She loves thinking about the baby to come and watching the stages of development. She had her first baby at 37 and her third at 41. Each one is a treasure, an unexpected gift, an impossible dream fulfilled. The discomfort doesn't matter to her because she is focused what's coming. Paul says "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us," [Rom 8:18] and "the momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison." [2 Cor 4:17] Although I am quoting these somewhat out of context the principle remains valid. Gratitude depends on perspective.
And which one of you, or your wives, would actually ask God for your baby to be born early? No matter how uncomfortable it is, we know that it is better for babies to come to term. It's easier, of course, when you know that nine months is the right length of time. Each call has its own gestation period, and we can get pretty frustrated with not even knowing where the starting gate is, much less what time to show up for it. But during that time of waiting it is necessary for your health to continue to get nourishment and exercise.
How many of you do have children? Did you wait to buy diapers until after the baby was born? That's another thing about a baby. There's some pretty tangible evidence that something's on the way, and a lot of incentive to be ready. But the point is, if you believe there's really going to be a baby, you paint the nursery.
So how do we respond when, like Paul, we are asked to take the long way around? We are to follow his example. Recognize God, in gratitude. Honor God, in obedience. And trust God, in preparation. I am convinced that if we are grateful, obedient, and prepared we will, like Paul, achieve the desire of our hearts, and bear fruit for the gospel.
