Avoid the Problems of Miscommunication (I Thes 2:6-12)
Many problems in our relationships grow out of miscommunication. Failure to communicate love, truth and relevance often leads to alienation. Many people mistakening assume they are friends but through miscommunications they have drifted in to a state of indifference, misunderstanding or bitterness with some of their associates.
The problem of miscommunication is illustrated by the fact we often direct our messages not to where people are at in their spiritual immature or mature position on the Engel scale:
The original Engel Scale proposed 13 steps through which people usually travel on their spiritual journey:
+5 Stewardship
+4 Communion with God
+3 Conceptual and behavioral growth
+2 Incorporation into Body
+1 Post-decision evaluation
New birth
-1 Repentance and faith in Christ
-2 Decision to act
-3 Personal problem recognition
-4 Positive attitude towards Gospel
-5 Grasp implications of Gospel
-6 Awareness of fundamentals of Gospel
-7 Initial awareness of Gospel
-8 Awareness of supreme being, no knowledge of Gospel
Illustration: Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. --Ephesians 4:25.
The stepfather, wanting to get close to the boy, took him on a fishing trip. The boy hated it but didn’t know how to tell his stepfather directly. So he wrote him a note saying he wanted to go home. The man looked at it and then stuck it in his pocket.
The fishing trip continued for 4 more days. When they finally returned home, the boy shared his frustration with his mother and told her that his father had paid no attention to his note. His mother said to him, "Son, your father can’t read!"
Good communication occurs not only when we know what we want to say, but when we know the person to whom we speak. And to know one another requires a willingness to let others know our weaknesses and limitations.
Paul urged us as believers to speak truthfully with each other because we are members of one another. He also admonished us to be "kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another" (Eph. 4:32). That’s Christlike love, and it provides the security in which good communication can thrive. --HWR
We ought to speak the truth we feel
With careful thought for those who hear;
For truth and love must try to sense
What others feel, what others fear. --DJD
Words spoken in love need no interpreter. (Our Daily Bread)
1. The Holy Spirit gives the leader a capability to have a sincere interest in their followers’ needs, problems and perceptions. One of the most important qualities for being a good communicator is to begin by being a good listener. Paul wrote, "We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children." (I Thes. 2:7) Mother’s have a radar that is sensitive to the needs of their children. For nearly two years until a child can talk, a Mother has to figure out the needs of her child by observing and listening to every little clue of communication given by the baby. Ask the Lord to increase your ability to really listen to peoples’ needs, problems and perceptions.
2. The Holy Spirit helps us avoid the problems of misinformation by staying in close touch with our people. Paul wrote, "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." (I Thes. 2:8) Ask the Lord to help you avoid the problems of false rumors, misinformation or lack of communication among your people.
Illustration: After two senators argued fiercely about religion, the one said, "I’ll bet you $10 you can’t even say the Lord’s Prayer correctly." The other guy
started out, "And now I lay me down to sleep..." -- and while finishing that child’s prayer, the first senator said, "Here’s your $10 bucks -- I didn’t think you knew it.
Be careful of the bane of superficial knowledge, misinformation or clarity in one’s communication.
3. The Holy Spirit helps us gain greater cooperation through consistent communication. When people are able to sense that they are free to communicate back and forth with their leaders, many bigger problems are prevented. Paul wrote, "You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed." (I Thes. 2:10) Ask the Lord to help you be more consistent and transparent in your communications with people to facilitate trust and maturity in your organization.
4. The Holy Spirit allows communications to happen on many levels and in a wide variety of situations. Paul wrote, "Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you." (I Thes. 2:9) Ask the Lord to help your communications expand to multiple channels in many different settings to enhance its effectiveness, efficiency and accessibility.
5. The Holy Spirit gives people a greater sense that their communications will count for eternity. Paul wrote, "And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as the word of men, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is at work in you who believe." (I Thes. 2:13) Ask the Lord to enhance the lasting credibility of your communications when people realize you are ministering God’s word through the power of His Spirit.
6. The Holy Spirit allows for ways of seeking forgiveness, restoration and reconciliation with proper communications. John wrote, "If we confess OUR sins, He is faithful and just to forgive US OUR sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (I John 1:9) Ask the Lord to help you to make it easier to confess sins and to seek genuine restoration, forgiveness and reconciliation in your organization
7. The Holy Spirit gives us strength, courage and articulative abilities to communicate His truth in power. Paul wrote, "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power." (I Cor. 2:4) Ask the Lord to give you greater strength, courage and articulative abilities to communicate according to the Spirit’s empowerment.
8. The Holy Spirit convicts you whenever you try to speak to people in a condescending manner. Paul wrote, "I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." (I Cor. 2:1,2) Ask the Lord for the humility to speak in a way that does not exalt yourself, but only Christ Jesus and His purposes.
9. The Holy Spirit helps you not to lose self-control when you are communicating to one person or to a large group. Paul wrote, "The fruit of the Spirit is self-control." (Gal. 5:23) Ask the Lord to help you speak with clear objectivity so that you are not tempted to get angry, too emotional or distracted from your main purposes.
10. The Holy Spirit guides you to speak Biblically supported truth rather than simply your own opinions. Paul wrote, "So that you faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power." (I Cor. 2:5) Ask the Lord to help guide you to communicate the essentials of Biblically supported truth instead of philosophically based human insights.
11. The Holy Spirit helps you ask the most important questions that may help you uncover reasons why people think and act the way they do. Jesus said to Peter and his disciples, "Who do the crowds say I am?.. But what about you? Who do you say I am?" (Luke 9:18,20) Ask the Lord for wisdom in asking the kind of information that will help you to be more effective in your communications.
Conclusion: Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. --John 8:43
Communication--everybody’s discussing it, studying it, practicing it. Yet, despite our improved communication skills, we may feel like the author who wrote, "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Good communication involves more than good speaking; it also requires good listening.
Jesus, the master communicator, was often misunderstood, as we see in today’s Scripture. Although He spoke the truth clearly, His hearers jumbled up His message and then rejected it. "Why do you not understand My speech?" He quizzed them. Answering His own question, He replied, "Because you are not able to listen to My word" (Jn. 8:43). Why were they such poor listeners? Not because Jesus failed to communicate, but because they didn’t want to hear the truth. And why didn’t they? Because it made them face up to their need to change.
When we say, "God is getting through to me," it’s not because He’s communicating better but because we’re hearing and willing to change. Let’s always make listening to God one of our best communication skills. --JEY
Hearing God each time He calls
Means fellowship divine;
Listen for His message clear
And say, "God’s will be mine." --JDB
It’s hard to tune in on heaven’s message
if our lives are full of earthly static. (Our Daily Bread)
