Marriage is the one institution in America that is under the most satanic attack! For years, Hollywood has been the leading majority of divorces in the country. Celebrity marriages often happen at the drop of a hat and crash and burn just as quickly. Some celebrity couples stay together for years on end, but still end up in divorce. And we all are shocked to hear about famous couples who have been together for a lifetime, filing for divorce. "I thought for sure they were going to last and break the cycle of divorce in Hollywood!" How many times have we all said that? Divorce is spreading like a cancer and is destroying people's lives all over the world. I believe the main reason so many couples are getting divorced is because they have forgotten the origins of the Marriage Covenant itself. God the Father created the institution of marriage and its covenant in the Garden of Eden.
Genesis 2:18-24, "And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So, Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called, Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
God created the institution and covenant of marriage for one reason and one reason only. Because it is not good for man to be alone. When the Bible says, "Man", that does not just apply to men. It applies to the woman as well. Just because these words were spoken by God before He created the Woman from Man's rib, doesn't mean she or any woman, for that matter, is excluded from that statement! If it's not good for man to be alone, it's not good for women to be alone either!
God saw man's loneliness in the Garden and immediately saw that there was no good in that. Let me tell you something, there is nothing good about being lonely or being alone. People just love to say all the time, "I don't need a man to take care of me! I can take care of myself!" Or, "I don't need a woman to run up my credit cards and make my life miserable! I'm better off alone!" Guess what? You just fell hook, line and sinker into the devil's trap! If he can get you so frustrated and irritated with finding someone that you throw your hands up and throw in the towel on the whole thing, he got you!
Many people, both men and women, are suffering from past hurts and failed marriages that are apprehensive about getting back out there and finding that special someone. Why? Because they don't want to get hurt again. Their trust has been shattered by a past love. Their hope has turned to ashes after being burnt by someone they believed was the one! They have given up all hope and all chances of ever finding someone to share and spend their lives with. All because of the pain and heartache they endured the last time. And for some, that last time was decades ago! For others, it was pretty recent. And they haven't fully recovered from the damage that was done.
Past hurts leave the most terrible scars on a person. Those wounds seem to never heal. The pain never seems to fade. It's as if they are cursed to carry the pain and heartache for the rest of their life. And most people actually believe that! That is not God's Will for your life! God never wanted any of us to suffer in such a way. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to have that storybook marriage. He wants us to have love everlasting in our lives. Jesus said in John 10:10, "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." Guess what? YOU are they Whom the Lord speaks of! He has come to give YOU life and life more abundantly! That includes a happy marriage. That includes a beautiful family. That includes joy forever more!
So why are so many Christians ending up in divorce? Why are so many marriages all over the world failing?
Three factors rank as the most common reasons why married couples end up in divorce. Incompatibility is the top reason. Many people get married thinking that their spouse is the perfect person for them. However, after the marriage, certain things might arise that show the couple that they’re not as compatible as they once thought. Issues such as habits, politics and religion often come into play. Some couples are able to work through these differences, but many split up.
Infidelity is a common reason for marriages ending in divorce. After one spouse has cheated, the bonds of trust that once existed can be broken forever.
Money issues are a big factor in divorce as well. And I believe this is the weapon of choice for the enemy to use against the people of God. This can equate to one spouse accumulating debt and bringing the other’s good name into the problem. In some cases, one party might be too extravagant and overspend while the other is more frugal. Money issues can be difficult to overcome, so it’s not surprising that many couples end up divorcing over them.
For years, I have heard Pastors, preachers, evangelists, and people of all sorts talk about how important money is when it comes to marriage and they're right. Money is very important in a marriage. However, we must be careful about how important it becomes to us. It's one thing to have security and stability, but to want so much money that you can splurge on the luxuries of this world can lead to a very shallow path in life. We see people with fancy cars and nice homes and start to envy them for it. Next thing you know, we are resentful of them because they have what we want, and we can't seem to get it for ourselves. This leads to bitterness towards each other. Wives are badgering their husbands about why they can't have a nice home like the Jones'. Why can't they have a nice car like the neighbors have? Do you realize what this is? This is something that the Bible has strictly warned us about!
1 Timothy 6:10, "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."
I'm here to tell you, divorce is among those many sorrows! But listen to what else he says here, "which while some coveted after," Exodus 20:17, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
1 Timothy 6:10 says the ones who coveted after such things have erred from the faith. That means they have fallen away from the faith. They have backslidden from the Lord and have been enticed with the luxuries this world has to offer. People today are flat out obsessed with winning the lottery jackpot! The love of money has enticed them! They have been lured into the love of money with visions of multi-million-dollar homes and luxury cars. Fancy clothes and exotic vacations. Eating at the finest restaurants with the finest meals money can buy. Living the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Never having to work another day in their lives. And that's the main reason they are driven obsessively to win this jackpot! So they never have to work their jobs again, never have to worry about money again, never have to tighten up the purse strings in the event of another shut down due to a pandemic.
The fear of the Covid 19 pandemic has forever changed the hearts and minds of the people of this world!
They want so desperately to win a fortune in the lottery so they never have to be vulnerable to such a crisis ever again. And in reality, you can't really blame them. But, they have forgotten there is a God Who shall meet and supply all their needs according to His riches and Glory in Christ Jesus! They have lost faith in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They are turning to this Godless, sin-ridden world for their needs and support. Businesses are having trouble getting people to work and show up for work because the masses have decided in their hearts that they don't have to work, they can sit home, watch the "Real Housewives of Atlanta", eat and drink to their hearts delight and wait for a government check to come in the mail or be deposited into their bank accounts. Most people nowadays have come to the conclusion that they make just as much, if not more money sitting at home doing nothing than they did when they went out everyday and worked. The Bibles says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat."
Don't misunderstand me. There are people out there who can't work and desperately want to. Unfortunately, they can't due to medical problems. Many people have injured backs that won't allow them to sustain a normal work week. Some people have mental issues that keep them from working. Some have life threatening medical issues that keep them from working. These people are out there. And it's not that they don't want to work. Believe me, you'll never find anyone more willing to work than someone who can't because their bodies just won't handle the strain. But there are also those who are more than able to work. There is nothing keeping them from working. Not one thing! Yet, they draw disability payments over issues that put absolutely no restrictions on their ability to work whatsoever! They prefer to sit home and live on our tax dollars while they sit on the couch eating Bonbons and watching "The View"! Get serious! GET UP!!! AND GET A JOB!!!
The problem with most people today as far as finding someone who is right for them is most people look at their wallets rather than looking at their hearts. They look at a person's physical stature instead of their spiritual stature. They are more interested in how much someone brings to the table than they are with WHO they bring to the table! Let me tell you something, if that person doesn't bring Jesus to that table, RUN!!!! They aren't worth a fraction of a second of your time! If they don't bring Jesus to the table, it's not a table you want any part of. Should the man have a job? Absolutely! I think the woman should have one too! Why? Because this world and its lust for money has made it nearly impossible for just one person to earn the income needed to provide for the home.
I've heard people say over the years, "A woman's place is in the home!" Shut up! That is a sexist, discriminative, pig headed, fool hearty, load of hog's wallop and you know it! God said in His Word, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. And, listen, the TWO shall become ONE!" There is no superior! There is no dominant gender in the home! You are a team! ACT LIKE IT!!!
Stop listening to these gossip shows like "The View"! Stop watching these talk shows that show nothing but drama and turmoil in the home! That is not the biblical picture of the home in God's eyes! That is a travesty! That is an image born of the pits of hell itself! Ladies, get off your money kick! Stop looking at the size of a man's wallet and start looking for Jesus in his heart! Men, stop looking for a girl and start looking for a woman of God! Stop looking for the cover girl for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition! And start looking for a woman of prayer! Look for a woman of faith! Start looking for a daughter of the Most-High God!!!
Have we learned nothing from Samuel's experience when God sent him to anoint the new king of Israel when the Lord rejected Saul?
1 Samuel 16:1-13, "Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.” And Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.” But the Lord said, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’ Then invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do; you shall anoint for Me the one I name to you.”
So, Samuel did what the Lord said and went to Bethlehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, “Do you come peaceably?” And he said, “Peaceably; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Sanctify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.
So it was, when they came, that he looked at Eliab and said, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him!”
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
So, Jesse called Abinadab and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” Then Jesse made Shammah pass by. And he said, “Neither has the Lord chosen this one.” Thus, Jesse made seven of his sons pass before Samuel. And Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen these.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Are all the young men here?” Then he said, “There remains yet the youngest, and there he is, keeping the sheep.”
And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send and bring him. For we will not sit down till he comes here.” So, he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good-looking. And the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him; for this is the one!” Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward."
Ladies, if you're looking for the poster child for GQ Magazine that has an interview in Forbes Magazine and just makes all the other ladies scream and shout, you are in for a major disappointment! Just as Samuel thought that the Jesse's firstborn was the one to be king, we have been judging potential husbands and wives soley on their appearance! Ladies want that buff bod, men want that quote/unquote trophy wife. Ladies want a man that has more money than the Federal Reserve, while men want that wife that looks like a calendar girl come to life! How pathetic can we get?
Samuel was beside himself after having all 7 of Jesse's sons pass by him and the Lord said no to all of them. Samuel was so sure just because they all had the look, the qualifications, and the talent to be king, that one of them was. To his surprise, the one God chose was the one out keeping the flock! The one the Bible describes as "ruddy" and "bright eyed", and yes, "good-looking". Basically, David was a runt! The runt of the litter! And this is the one God has chosen to be king of His people?
All of us remember that child that went to school with us that no one liked, no one had anything to do with, nobody gave him the time of day unless they wanted to tease and bully them. Get that child's image in your mind, then think about the most popular guy or girl in school at that time. Now think about this, when Samuel went to anoint the new King of Israel, he was so sure that it would be the most popular jock in the school. The guy everyone wanted to be around. All the ladies loved him, all the guys wanted to be like him. But instead, God said, "No. It's not him. His heart's not in it. Anoint the one they pick on all the time. The one nobody likes. The one that's always being teased and bullied. Anoint him. Because his heart is 1,000 times bigger than "Mr. Popular" over there!"
All I hear these days is how ladies should find a man that has money. In other words, marry a rich man. Jesus said in Matthew 19:23-24, “Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. And again, I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Matthew 6:19-21, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Many people hear that and automatically think there is money in Heaven like we have here on Earth. Wrong! There's no banks in Heaven. There's no Trading Posts in Heaven. There's no shopping malls in Heaven. Money is worthless in Heaven! So, what is this treasure Jesus talks about then? Your crown. The crowns we're given when we get to Heaven. The crowns we receive for our obedience to His Word. That is our treasure! Not money. Not cash. Not even gold! You don't really think you're going to go to Heaven and dig up part of the streets paved in gold and sell it for money, do you? Where would you sell it? There's no pawn shops in Heaven either! Your crown is your treasure. And you earn that crown through obeying His Word and preaching His Gospel to the world.
Men and women both need to stop looking for the richest, most attractive people they can. Instead, they need to look at the person's heart. If Jesus is not in their heart, they are nothing! Paul said that himself.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3, "Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing."
Men, stop looking for that girl that's the "Perfect 10"! There's no such thing! Ladies, stop watching "Desperate Housewives" and "The Real Housewives of Hollywood"! Those women are nothing but money-grubbing banshees with a heart of stone and ice! And believe me, you don't want to be anywhere near like them! All they care about is money! All the think about is money! All they love is money! "The love of money is the root of all evil". Stop idolizing them and start looking towards God Who is the Author and Finisher of our faith. Jesus said in Matthew 6:33, "But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."
Men, do you want to find the wife God has for you? Seek ye first. Ladies, do you want to find the husband God has anointed for you? Seek ye first. Do you want a nice home and a beautiful family? Seek ye first. Do you want to have security and stability? Seek ye first. Do you want a husband or a wife after God's own heart? Seek ye first!
Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord."
Ephesians 5:25-33, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So, husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Romans 12:2, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Don't let this world or the people of this world dictate to you what to look for in a spouse. If you'll notice, they're either divorced, in a miserable marriage, single and never married, or have been married multiple times. You can't rely on the advice of someone who's been married and divorced 5 times each! That's not the qualifications for a marriage counselor! That's the resume of someone who has commitment issues! They have trust issues! They have past hurts that have never healed! They try to find someone to give them what only God can give them. And that's peace. You can't love someone full of holes in their life and expect everything to be happily ever after!
We've been getting it wrong this whole time! We have been looking at people and judging them on their appearance, their financial status and their social stature! No! No! No! You can find someone that has money, that has looks, that has everything going their way, that has it made in the shade, and end up with a snake in the grass for a roommate! Just because they have all the worldy qualifications, doesn't mean they have God's expectations! Remember what Paul said, "I can do this, I can do that, I can have this, I can have that, but if I don't have the love of God in my heart, I have nothing"!
Think of all the celebrities you've had a crush on. Do they have money? Yes. Are they attractive? Yes. Do they have talented abilities? Yes. Can they do this? Yes. Can they do that? Yes. Do they have the love of God in their heart? You don't know, do you? And friends, that is the key! That is what we all need to start looking for in a mate! Do they have the love of God in their heart? If they do, then there's potential for God to move and pour out a blessing that you cannot contain! If they don't, RUN!!!!!!
The stories told of a couple who married years ago. The husband was a humble man. All he ever wanted in life was to be married and have a family. He wanted it so bad because he felt deprived of a family as a child. His mother was a stay-at-home Mom. His Dad was a truck driver, on the road most of the time when he was a child. His siblings were always away from home day to day doing their own thing, living their own life. They hardly ever saw their younger brother. The wife was raised by her grandparents who gave her all her heart desired. You can imagine how that lifestyle had an effect on her.
The wife wanted fame and fortune. The husband just wanted to live peacefully. He had no aspirations to be famous, to be rich, he had seen what money does to people firsthand and the thought of having that kind of influence in his own life frightened him worse than death itself! The thought of being wealthy made him afraid! He was afraid to become wealthy! He feared such wealth would cause him to forget God and forget his family and make him a horrible, horrible person! He wanted no part of it. It was literally poisonous to him!
Unfortunately, it was all too glamorous to his wife. It was all she ever dreamed of. Wasn't too long after they were married, that they had a child. The wife wanted the husband to take care of the early morning feedings, changing the diapers, bathing the child. All the hard part of raising a child. The husband found himself struggling to find a job. He had been fired from a job he held for years by a new supervisor that had an ax to grind against him.
Things went from bad to worse, to worse, to worse for the husband. He tried and tried and tried and tried to find work. All he could find was temporary jobs. Not wanting to work weekends, he sought warehouse work. He finally found a job driving local for a home improvement company. He enjoyed the job and held it for over a year. The husband ended up losing that job over the jealousy of a coworker! The wife, at the end of her rope, told her husband she wanted him to move out. She filed for divorce not long after that. This devastated the husband to no end.
What happened here? Money came between not only the husband and wife, but the husband, wife and God also. The Bible says, "A threefold cold is not easily broken". That threefold cord is an outline of the marriage Covenant. The husband, the wife, and the Holy Spirit at the center of that Covenant. It may not be easily broken, as the Bible says, but it can be broken nonetheless! How? When you take your eyes off of God and put them on each other! That's what really happened to this husband and wife. They started looking to each other for what only God could give them. And when you do that, your marriage will sink like the Titanic! That's idolatry when you really think about it! And idolatry like that is the proverbial "iceberg" that just hit your "Titanic" and you're going down at the head!
The origin of the Marriage Covenant is that God designed it to fulfill both the man and the woman. God does that through them. Ladies, your husband is not your provider, God is. God provides for you through your husband, not from him. Men, God provides for you through your wife, not from her! God is your provider! God is your Sanctifier! God is your Redeemer! Apart from Him, you can do nothing!
Stop thinking that your husband or wife should be all that with a bag of chips with dip on the side! Stop looking to your spouse for what only God can give you! Stop thinking that they should be this way or that way! I've got news for you, your spouse is not your show pony! They are not your bragging rights! They're not there to impress your family or friends! They are there for you and only you! God gave them to you! Not your family! Not your friends! Not even your coworkers! They were given to you! Alone! Stop parading them in front of your friends and family like a poodle fresh out of obedient school! They're not a dog, they're a human being!
Who cares what your family thinks about your husband or your wife? They're not married to them or marrying them, you are! Who cares what your friends think? Do they have to live with them? No. Are they the ones who said, "I do"? No. It's none of their business who you marry! If God brought them to you, that's all that matters! If you want to find that someone, seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Then follow God's Word about what kind of person to look for. You'll find the first requirement for finding that special someone is that they must be a person of the opposite sex. Then find someone who has a job and has had it for sometime. And in this day and age, that goes for both a man and a woman! Next, find someone who loves the Lord and is baptized in the Holy Spirit. Make sure that Jesus is Lord of their life. Make sure the love of God is in their heart. And that they have opened themselves up to receive His love. If you follow the Bible and seek God first in everything you do, you will not fail!
