Envy – A Perverted Love
Scripture: Genesis 4:1-8; Proverbs 14:30; Mark 7:20-23; Luke 6:45
The title of my message this morning is “Envy – A Perverted Love.”
Let me tell you a story. There was a man who had a brother whom you would assume that he loved. One day both brothers brought an offering to their father, something that each of them had prepared with their own hands. The elder brother’s offering was presented but was rejected by his father. When his younger brother presented his offering, he watched as his father accepted his brother’s offering and praised him for his thoughtfulness. When he saw his younger brother being praised, he became angry. His father saw his anger and explained to the elder son that although he had made a mistake in his chosen offering, it was okay as long as he did it right the next time. This apparently did not make him feel any better or caused his anger to diminish. Every time he looked at his younger brother, the anger was still present. Finally his anger became so great that he killed his brother.
You probably recognize this story from the book of Genesis, the story of Cain and Abel. Cain’s anger grew out of his being envious of the praise that God gave to Abel, his younger brother. Encarta’s dictionary defines envy as “the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting somebody else's success, good fortune, qualities, or possessions.” Envy is a type of perverted love. Let me explain. The person who envies actually loves. But what does the person love? He loves what belongs to another person. And that emotion is so out of control that they build up resentment against the one who has what they desire. Envy resents the good others receive or might receive. Envy, at times, is almost indistinguishable from pride and jealousy. When you read the story think about how you would have felt if you were Cain. You’re standing there listening to God praise your younger brother after he had rebuked you. Do you think that you would probably be upset too? Cain’s anger had consumed him to the point he decided to kill Abel. Consider what would have happened if he too had received praise or if he had received the praise and his brother had received the rebuke? The outcome would have been totally different. Envy is a sin that ignites feelings of anger, jealousy, and rivalry, which can result in the person doing something in the heat of the moment that under normal circumstances they would not do. Envy is not something that we can think will not happen to us; this is a very real tool that Satan uses daily to hinder our growth as Christians.
As I said, envy is a sin of “perverted love”. Envy is perverted because it “loves” what another possesses, rather than appreciates what is good, beautiful and true. It is often portrayed as “eating away” the heart of the person like a consuming disease. Proverbs 14:30 says, “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” If you think about the function of the natural heart, a strong heart insures good blood circulation to the rest of the body, producing health and longevity. However, a weak heart is the opposite; it does not produce the necessary blood circulation to keep the body functioning like it should. When a part of the body lacks a good supply of blood it begins to die because it is not receiving the oxygen and nutrients that the blood provides. This is why it’s so important for a diabetic to maintain appropriate blood sugar levels. Wherever there is a lack of blood, the flesh begins to die and rot away. Solomon said that envy acts like a weaken heart that cannot maintain the appropriate blood supply leading to a rotting of the bones. This image is not a pretty sight.
Let me share a person story of envy. As you know, I have an older brother Delrick, who is right next to me in age, who draws really well. As a child he would spend hours writing and drawing realistic cartoon figures complete with a story line. My mother (as well as others) would praise him for his artistic abilities. Well, naturally I wanted some of that praise too. One day I had the opportunity to get it – or so I thought. My mother had taken us to work with her. She was a teacher in a Head Start program. She asked Delrick to first draw a mural of Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall on the wall outside of her classroom. She showed him the picture of what she wanted and the wall she wanted him to draw it on. Of course she asked Delrick because he had artistic abilities and I did not. As a matter of fact, I can now say that I was so bad at drawing that I could not make stick figures look right. Anyway, in my mind, I was as good as Delrick and I was going to get me some praise on that day. Delrick began drawing the mural and it was looking good. When he had finished most of it, I asked him if I could draw the feet. Now what happens next is completely Delrick’s fault. I can honestly attest to the fact that I was innocent in all of this. Why? Because Delrick knew that I could not draw; he also knew it was his responsibility because he was the one who was asked to do it; and finally, he was the older brother so he was supposed to know better. But, he did not uphold his responsibilities and he gave me the marker – maybe because he felt sorry for his little brother who couldn’t draw but thought he could.
Well, with marker in hand I began to draw the shoes. I thought I was doing something wonderful until my mother came out of her classroom, saw what I had drawn and blew a gasket. Now you must remember, I was about 10 years old at the time and in my mind the shoes looked pretty good. I do not know what my mother saw compared to what I saw but her assessment did not match mine. I saw shoes comparable to what my brother would draw. My mother, however, saw Humpty Dumpty with one shoe that looked like what Bozo the clown would wear and one shoe that looked like a high heel shoe that a woman would wear. I wanted to explain to her that she was looking at it all wrong; that she needed to use her “creative eye” and look at it from different angles, but I did not get the chance. She pulled me away from the wall and told me not to even think about touching it again. Now to make matters worse, instead of just leaving the shoes I had drawn on Humpty alone, she made Delrick remove what I had spent so much time drawing and re-draw it. To add more salt to my injury, in my mind, the shoes I had drawn looked better – more creative. The shoes Delrick finally drew looked identical, were comparable in size and looked totally normal – what you could see in any picture. In my mind, there was no creative value in drawing something that looked normal – but my mother was very pleased with my brother and praised him. I got nothing! I didn’t even receive any “participation praise” for trying!!! Once again, although I came so close to proving that I was just as good, that my talents were equal to my brother’s, I learned that not everyone understood creative art. After that my mother never asked me to draw anything for her again, even though she never asked me in the first place, and I never offered.
The point of this story is that I was very envious of my brother’s gift. Not envious enough to hurt him, but envious enough to imagine myself ripping apart something that he had created and was getting praise for. Envy wants what others have and will not be content until it receives it. Envy is more than just coveting something that belongs to someone else. With envy, you actually love what someone else has so much that you actually have ill will towards the person who possesses that which you love. You want to see something bad happen to them so you can get what they possess. Just as love originates in the heart, so does envy. Jesus made the following observation when He was questioned about things entering a man’s body and making him unclean (defiled).
“(20) And He was saying, ‘That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man. (21) For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, (22) deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. (23) All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.’” (Mark 7:20-23)
Jesus says envy is evil. Let that sink in New Light. And not only did He say it is evil, but He says envy originates within our hearts. Since this is the case, envy is not something that happens “to us” but it is something that is “created within us and comes from us”. This means we are in the best position to exercise control and discipline over it to keep from sinning against God and our fellowman. For example, do you recall when Pilate wanted to release Jesus so that he didn’t have to crucify Him and he gave the people a choice between releasing Jesus or Barabbas, a criminal? Matthew 27:18 says “For he knew that because of envy they had handed Him over.” Pilate knew that the chief priests were very envious of Jesus on several levels. First He claimed to be the Son of God and really had proof that He was if they were willing to accept it. Jesus also performed miracles that none of them had ever seen or been able to perform in their lifetime. He also did not put on a show for the people in order to make a name for Himself and He related to the common people, something they did not do. These things caused people to be drawn to Jesus in ways that they had never been drawn to the Jewish religious leaders. The religious leaders were so envious of Him that they made the decision early in His ministry to find a way to kill Him. Even though our envy may not lead us to kill, it is still sin, is very dangerous and does have that potential. Consider the following scripture:
Luke 6:45 says, “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” Because envy (being evil) is created and comes from our hearts, when it is manifested it is full of evil in that the words spoken are not words of encouragement, but words filled with negative intent based on the negative emotions that are attached to envy. We will discuss this more shortly.
Romans 1:28-29 says, “(28) And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, (29) being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips.”
Also First Timothy 6:3-5 says, “(3) If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, (4) he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, (5) and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.”
Titus 3:3: “For we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another.”
I want you to see the common link between these three Scripture references. In the references from Romans and First Timothy, Paul links a depraved mind with envy. A case could easily be made that the one who envies, whether they are a Christian or not, is not operating in their right mind. This idea is further borne out in Paul’s writing to Titus when he talks about them being deceived and enslaved. We can be deceived and enslaved in our mind as it relates to the things of God. Paul told Titus that a person who is deceived and enslaved in their minds would spend their lives envying and hating one another. These verses stress the importance that we understand that whatever is within our hearts help to define who we are – regardless of what the outside world sees. What is in our hearts define us to God. Even though you may never act on your thoughts and desires, from a spiritual standpoint, those thoughts and desires are a part of the real you. This is why Paul wrote in Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” When we are saved, our minds still function as they did when we were living in sin. It is only after we are saved that we are able through the Spirit of God to begin the process of renewing our minds and getting rid of the garbage and replacing it with God’s word and His love.
Because we are children of God and commanded to walk in love, envy works overtime to pervert the love that is within us. Through envy, we desire, long for and love something that belongs to someone else. It could be a love for their gifts or talents (like I had with my brother), possessions, spouse, kids, etc. Nothing is exempt. All of us have heard stories or know of situations where someone took something from someone else because they wanted it so badly. We have also heard stories of people destroying the lives of others if the person they desired chose not to be a part of their life. There have been times when people have killed someone because they could not have them and therefore did not want someone else to have them. There is an example of this in Scripture. Remember the situation that Solomon faced when he first became king? Two women came before him claiming that a newborn baby belonged to both of them (1 Kings 3:16-28). Both had recently given birth to sons and one of them had accidentally smothered her son while she slept. The one whose son was now dead took her dead son and switched him with the other woman. When she woke up and realized what had happened, she tried to get her son back. Since no one knew which mother the baby belonged to they went before Solomon for a resolution. After Solomon heard their stories, he told one of his servants to bring a sword to cut the living baby in two and give each woman a half. The baby’s real mother cried out and asked that the baby’s life be spared and that the baby should be given to the other woman. Now here is where it gets really interesting. The other woman, who you’d think would accept the baby and be happy that she’d won. Oh, no. She told the king to go ahead and divide the baby so that neither of them would have the child. This was the proof that Solomon needed to identify the baby’s true mother.
This woman’s action was motivated by envy. If you remember what she did – first she switched babies. Next, when standing before the king, she confessed that the child was hers. Finally she was very happy to have the baby split in two so that neither she nor the baby’s mother would have a son. Her envy took shape in the form of taking what her roommate had because she had lost what she had. She did not want her roommate to have something she no longer had. The other point is that she went farther than just experiencing jealousy; she had ill will towards her roommate and actually acted on her desires. Any love or affection that her roommate held for her was lost after this interaction. As it was in this story, envy perverts the love that is within us so we must learn how to deal with it. How do we keep ourselves in check when we have desires that may not be met? How do we maintain our focus and faith in God when it seems that those who love Him the less end up with the most? How can we consistently be in the presence of those who have much more than we do and not feel like there is something wrong with us because we have less? How do we stop the envy before it has a chance to spring to life within us?
The only way we can truly stop envy in its tracks is with the love of God. Remember, if envy is a form of perverted love, the only way to truly deal with it is through perfecting the love that is within us. Let me explain with this Scriptural reference about Cain and Abel found in the New Testament. First John 3:11-13 says, “(11) For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another; (12) not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil and his brother’s were righteous. (13) Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.” When John speaks of us loving each other, he makes the statement that we should not love each other as Cain did. Cain’s love for his brother was perverted because of envy and was demonstrated in his actions when he killed him. Cain wanted something that Abel had and it angered him that he did not have it. That anger turned to an action that caused him to kill his brother. His love for his brother turned cold as his love for what his brother had grew.
Let’s read what is recorded in First Corinthians 13:4-5 as it pertains to love. First Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “(4) Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, (5) does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into an account a wrong suffered…” Every time I read through this list of what perfected love looks like, I realize how much work I still have yet to do. If you examine the emotions/feelings related to envy, you can see that only perfected love can enable you to overcome it. Remember, envy, in and of itself, is love. It’s just perverted love. To conquer envy, you must establish your heart and set your focus on understanding and perfecting what God’s word says is love. In all situations and circumstances, when dealing with all sorts of people, “love is patient, kind and never jealous.” Jealousy is actually another form of envy. No matter how successful you are or the possessions that you may own, “love does not brag and is not arrogant – it never acts unbecomingly.” When you have the opportunity to show off your talents, just remember that “love does not seek its own.” I didn’t know all of this when I was seeking my own in that hallway. When you deal with people who you know do not have your best interest at heart, remember “love is not easily provoked and does not take into account a wrong suffered.” When envy swells up within us, believe me when I tell you that we are easily provoked and remember all of the wrongs we suffered! This is not who we are in the Love of God! In everything that we do, if our actions, thoughts and intentions are filtered through God’s definition of love, we will do well.
New Light, we are coming upon the season that is designed to make people envious of something someone else has. This month we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States and yet there are many people who struggle being thankful because of something they do not have that someone else possesses. Do you realize that we often don’t recognize our blessings because we are too busy desiring someone else’s blessings? And then there is next month’s celebration of Christmas. When people begin to open presents and not receiving what they wanted based on the Christmas list only to find out that their friend(s) got what they wanted plus more. This is the world in which we live but it is not the mentality that we must remain in as children of God. If you feel yourself shifting towards envying someone else, just remember “(24) Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. (25) If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. (26) Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:24-26) and “(1) Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, (2) like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, (3) if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.” (First Peter 2:1-3)
Until next time, “The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
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