THE VERY RELATABLE LIFE OF KING DAVID
SHAME
2 SAMUEL 11-12, PSALM 51:1-19
#kingdavid
Based off an older sermon of mine which has in the notes: “This sermon is based on a few ideas in Craig Groeshel’s book “The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living as if He Doesn’t Exist.” Zondervan, 2010. ISBN: 9780310332220”
INTRODUCTION
King David, if you ask people in general, is famous for two things. #1 David and Goliath. #2 David and Bathsheba. He is famous for killing a giant with a sling and a stone when he was a boy and famous for adultery with another man’s wife and then killing to cover it up. We have been looking into the life of King David for many weeks now. His life is relatable because of the ups and downs, but also because there are times when there is a Psalm he wrote that gives us a look into his mind and emotions and spirit that we do not get with other folks in the Bible.
The David and Bathsheba season of David’s life is contained in 2 Samuel 11-12 and then reflected on in Psalm 51. This morning, I would like to focus on Psalm 51 and the heart of David, but I can’t expect that we all just know what happens in 2 Samuel 11-12.
Here are the basics… it is a bit like a thriller crime movie. Here are the basics:
11:1 = David stays behind when he should have gone with the troops to battles.
11:2-5 = David spots a beautiful married woman, Bathsheba, bathing on a roof near his palace and fetches her, sleeps with her, and she becomes pregnant with his child.
11:6-13 = David freaks out, but has a plan. He calls in Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, from the battle field and acts like he appreciates his service and tells him to go home and enjoy life with his wife for a bit before going back to battle. Uriah’s conscience says that if his troops were on the field he should not be at home comfortable so… he doesn’t go home. If he had gone home, David could assume the pregnancy would be covered up.
11:14-27 = David sends Uriah back to the battle zone and instructs the general to leave him vulnerable and pull back when the fighting is fierce. He does so. Uriah dies. David marries Bathsheba.
12:1-15 = God sends Nathan the prophet to confront David about his sin and Nathan tells a sly story in which David pretty much confesses to what he’d done.
12:15-23 = The baby of David and Bathsheba dies after he is born as a direct result of David’s sin.
Those are the basics and those basics lead us to Psalm 51 because David wrote Psalm 51 during this time. The picture we get is that David writes Psalm 51 sometime during 2 Samuel 12:15-23.
INTRO/ILLUSTRATION… Smack in the face (p)
Many years ago, I had the opportunity to participate in a wedding ceremony. It was out of town and was a wonderful trip for our family. As part of the festivities, as it normally does for out-of-town guests, we stayed in a hotel. I do not mind hotels except for one thing… walking around in the dark. Let me explain what I mean. For most of us at home, we can get up in the night for lavatory engineering or wake up in the morning and get ready without turning on any lights. Why? We know where everything is… we can reach for the light switch or a door handle because we know where everything is located.
If I remember correctly, I woke up the night before the actual wedding ceremony and I was heading towards the restroom. I walked cautiously for a moment past the blissfully sleeping children and as I walked I began to reach for the bathroom door and ran smack into the wall. I do not mean I almost ran into the wall. I mean I smacked my whole self into the wall. I did it. I then felt along the wall in front of me, reached around the corner, and flipped on the light.
I immediately got worried. Did I wake people up with the smacking into the wall? Did I wake people up by turning on the light? Then the real issue came to my mind. Would there be bruises? I mean, as the officiant of the wedding, I am the most important person in the wedding and no one wants to see that person all battered and bruised… that would ruin the wedding! Would I have to share the sad tale of my bumps and bruises?
This morning I would like to take you on a similar journey. We are going to walk around in the dark a little while and talk about shame, definitely walk smack into a wall, and then flip on the light. To be honest, I don’t mind if we make a lot of noise and wake us up… in fact… I am hoping to wake up in terms of shame and our relationships with God.
WALKING IN THE DARK: SHAME
As we begin to walk around in the dark, we notice that what is making everything dark is something called ‘shame.’ What is shame? Where does it come from? Shame is an unpleasant emotion connected with doing wrong and a feeling of disgrace. Shame comes from our sin and is one of the oldest emotions. We see this in Genesis 3 in the Bible.
READ GENESIS 3:8-10 (ESV)
“And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”
We see in these verses a complete reversal of fortune for Adam and Eve and it has to do with shame. Genesis 2:25 says very plainly…
READ GENESIS 2:25 (ESV)
“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
In the beginning in the Garden, life was perfect and there was no sin or death or hiding or issues or shame. Now in the next chapter they are hiding from God and feeling full of shame. What was different? What painful event happened between Genesis 2:25 and Genesis 3:8 that would cause hiding and shame? Sin. Rebellion. Poor choices. Blame. Sin happened and Adam and Eve hid from God. Sin causes separation from God and as a result we feel shame. We walk around in the dark because of our sin and shame. This is an important thought and Truth. Adam and Eve illustrate what is said later in Philippians 3:19…
READ PHILIPPIANS 3:19 (ESV)
“Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.”
At the core of what happened, Adam and Eve stopped identifying themselves with God and started to identify themselves with sin and shame.
King David in 2 Samuel 11-12 is walking around in shame. 2 Samuel 11:1 begins with David being where he should not be and shame-filled actions are taken with another man’s wife. David lusts after another man’s wife. David and Bathsheba commit adultery. David murders Bathsheba’s husband and makes others in his army complicit in his death. David lies.
God sends Nathan the prophet to go to David in the midst of his shame and confront him and says in 2 Samuel 12:7 "You are the man!” (not “you da man”… that is completely different). Nathan tells David in many critically important words that he is walking around in the dark full of shame! Shame on you David for laziness, lustfulness, adultery, scheming, murder, and lying! David heaped shame upon himself because of his sin and because he did as he desired and did not follow God.
SMACK INTO A WALL: SHAME
We have been walking in the dark and now we come up to the wall and we run smack into it. We all deal with shame because we all have sinned.
READ Romans 3:23 (ESV)
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”
Romans 3:23 is a True statement. What is also true is that you and I sin and we also deal with the aftermath of sin… shame. We sin in ways that we are not proud of and therefore we consider ourselves unworthy of God’s love. We all have gone outside the boundaries of what God has defined for us and chose to disobey.
We succumb to addictions that wreck our finances, health, and family relationships. Smack!
We decide to end our marriage. Smack!
We make immoral decisions about our sex life. Smack!
We judge someone based on their skin color. Smack!
We lie to those closest to us and then get trapped by the lies. Smack!
We verbally abuse our spouse and our children. Smack!
We watch TV or movies that are beneath us or we long for pornography. Smack!
We lust after our co-worker and actively imagine the possibilities. Smack!
We lose our temper at work or on the road in the car. Smack!
We over eat over buy over sleep and don’t overly care. Smack!
We put God second, third, fourth, or maybe no place at all in our daily lives. Smack!
Shame is something all of us deal with because each of us has sinned in ways that we are not proud of and we keep secret to ourselves. We sin and ask others to keep the secret. Shame can be a direct contributor in us living as though God doesn’t matter in our lives. Shame rooted in our past thoughts, feelings, and actions can stunt our growth in our relationship with God. We get trapped in our sin and have no hope of escaping. It is like walking around in the dark and hitting a wall.
ILLUSTRATION… CRAIG GROESCHEL, CHRISTIAN ATHEIST, PAGE 50)
“Shame usually follows a pattern – a cycle of self-recrimination and lies that claims life after life. First, we experience an intensely painful event. Second, we believe the lie that our pain and failure” define who we are for all time. “And finally our feelings of shame trap us into thinking that we can never recover.”
So, what do we do?
How do we break through shame and turn the corner?
How do we walk out of self-recrimination and move to the forgiveness of God?
There is a way out of shame and condemnation and being stuck in the past. There is a way to live so that shame does not control our thoughts and feelings and drive our motivations in our relationship with God. I do think everyone is different and so the actual way out of the cycle of shame is different, but Psalm 51, reflecting on King David and his shame walkabout, can be helpful for us.
Let’s flip on the light of Psalm 51.
FLIP ON THE LIGHT: PSALM 51:1-19
READ PSALM 51:1-12 (ESV)
Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that You may be justified in Your words and blameless in Your judgment. 5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. 6 Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice. 9 Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. 13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will return to You. 14 Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of Your righteousness. 15 O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. 16 For You will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. 18 Do good to Zion in Your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; 19 then will You delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
As we flip on the light of Psalm 51, I believe we can find a suggested pathway out of shame. There are two steps that we can begin to take which will help lead us out of shame and into marvelous light with God. 1 Peter 2:9 tells us, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” These two steps can help us move from darkness into light… from living in shame to living in forgiveness.
STEP #1: CONFESS OUR SIN
David begins Psalm 51 by realizing the source of his shame is his own thoughts and actions. David had been trying to keep his sin hidden and then Nathan the prophet pointed out all of his sin. Numbers 32:23 rang true in King David’s ears that “your sin will find you out” and once David faces his thoughts and actions David calls what he did by its correct names… he confesses what he did. It was a series of transgressions. His actions had led to iniquity. He sinned. All three of those words: “transgression,” “iniquity,” and “sin” show us that David knows that what he did was perverse in God’s sight and that it has separated him from God (verses 1-4). The shame he feels is a result of his own actions.
One of the first steps in stopping guilt and overcoming sin in our lives is to call it what it is and own up to it. In order to break the cycle of shame from sin we have committed, we must accept that we did it and call it by its name and not let it hide in us.
We must also understand, and this is very critical, that even though we have done shameful things in the past, present, and will again in the future, our sin does not define us if we are in Christ Jesus. I will say that again because this is the key thought in breaking out of shame… even though we have done shameful things, it does not define us if we are in Christ Jesus because Jesus defines who we are.
Holding onto our past means that the past defines who we are and what we expect of ourselves. Giving excuses about the present means we allow sin to win.
Blaming others keeps shame riveted to our hearts.
What is it that you have done that plagues you?
What choice did you make that makes you doubt that God loves you?
What shame makes you believe you are barred from having a deep abiding relationship with God?
I want to encourage you this morning to get rid of private defeat and understand that when we are in Christ, we are not our sins. Sin should not define who we are.
TRANSITION
The first step in flipping on the light is confessing our sin. The second step is placing faith in God for the future.
STEP #2: ACCEPT THAT GOD WILL CHANGE US
I understand that we will most likely remember the bad choices we have made. Perhaps the consequences are still with us and some things we never forget. While we may always remember what happened and the sin we committed or the hurt we cause, we need to believe that we are not defined by what happened. God can and will change our hearts and our future… this is the reality of having an active abiding relationship with God… He changes us.
Psalm 51 shares with us the heart of King David as he is dealing with the shame of what he had done. In Psalm 51 we see David fighting in his heart that what he did will not define him, but rather, he is accepting that God will change him.
Psalm 51 reveals to us how God changes us and how we walk out of shame. It is what David did and it is what makes him so relatable. We deal with what he dealt with. What does Psalm 51 say?
First, in verses 7, 10, and 12 David prays honestly asking God for forgiveness. Look at the words he uses in those verses. Purge. Clean. Wash. Create. Renew. Restore. Uphold. He is honest and asks for God’s grace and mercy and cleansing.
READ PSALM 51:7 (ESV)
“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.”
READ PSALM 51:10 (ESV)
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
READ PSALM 51:12 (ESV)
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”
Once we are clean, we can move on. One of the key steps in letting go of shame is realizing in our brain and in our hearts that when God forgives us… He completely forgives us and our relationship with Him is restored. Sin is completely blotted out and forgotten (Psalm 51:9). When God forgives, He also restores. Shame is gone! When we truly repent, any guilt left over is temptation from Satan to keep us mired in ourselves and get off track. One of the greatest lies from the pit of Hell is feeling guilty and shameful for something God already forgave you for! God exists and He forgives completely and wipes away shame.
READ PSALM 103:11-12 (ESV)
“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.”
Stop giving excuses.
Stop whining.
Stop shifting blame.
Stop giving up.
Stop wallowing in self-pity.
Stop putting yourself in situations where you will fail.
Second, in verses 6, 8, 10, 12, and 14 David prays diligently that God would be active and present in His life and that he himself would follow after God. Look at what David asks God to do… Teach. Let. Create. Renew. Restore. Deliver.
READ PSALM 51:6 (ESV)
“Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, and You teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”
READ PSALM 51:8 (ESV)
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice.
READ PSALM 51:10 (ESV)
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
READ PSALM 51:12 (ESV)
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
READ PSALM 51:14 (ESV)
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of Your righteousness.
Breaking out of shame means we actively ask God to be present in our lives and then once He is present we must not ignore Him. If we ask God to forgive and be present in our lives, but ignore Him, we are right back where we started. That is not a relationship, but using God for His grace and mercy.
I want to encourage you this morning to accept the forgiveness of God… right now… and commit yourself to moving forward in a different manner. Act different. Believe different. Crave different. Desire different. Fight different. Give different. Heal different. Imagine different. Joke different. Parent different. Spend your money different. Talk different. Worship different. Xamine yourself different. Yell different.
What will be different? God will be what is different. Let us live daily as though we believe in God and that He is active in our lives. Let us live daily as though we believe in God and that He actively forgives each one of us and wipes away our shame.
CONCLUSION
I invite you to pray and cleanse your heart.
I invite you to come forward and confess if needed.
I invite you to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
I invite you to pray diligently for those sitting right around you.
PRAYER
INVITATION
