An Exposition of 1 Peter, part 16: Wives, be Subject to your own Husbands
1 Peter 3:1-7
Introduction
There are few passages in Scripture which are as controversial in today’s societies. These verses are contrary to what feminists preach. These women say things like: “I will not be in subjection to any man!” the wedding vows are often altered to take the word “obey” from the wife’s vows. The equality of men and women are held by both law and custom in America today. And if that isn’t enough, American law allows for same-sex marriage and admit to a bewildering cloud of gender choices. But what does God say? How are we to understand this passage that seems to be so out of sorts with the times?
Exposition of the Text
Likewise, you, who are wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands — When we look at this first verse, we should note two qualifications. First if all, it refers to wives and not females in general. The second is that subjection is to be to one’s own husband and not someone else’s husband or to men in general. We are talking about a specific relationship within the covenant of marriage. It does not address the status of women and men in society.
Something else to notice in the Greek of this sentence is that the word “subject” is actually a participle in Greek and not an imperative which would make the word “subject” to be much stronger. The participle implies a sense of voluntary submission or informed choice. Peter is about to describe the rationale why they are to subject themselves to their own husbands. In 1 Peter 2:13, the imperative “be subject” is used in relation to obey every manmade ordinance for the Lord’s sake. For wives this would mean obeying Roman law concerning the conduct of women in society. It is tempered by the words “for the Lord’s sake.” But just as citizens, non-citizens living in the Empire, Christians, and slaves were to be in subjection to Roman Law, women were to be in subjection. As we saw in our earlier studies, this subjection is not absolute. If the Law of God were in conflict with Roman Law, God’s word was to be obeyed. But the Christian is not to violently resist Roman Law. But there is a time for non-compliance. The Christian should be willing to suffer indignity in these conditions.
So that in case there are some (husbands) who are not convinced by the Word (of God), they might be won without the Word by the conduct of their wives. — Under Roman Law, the husband had the power of life and death over his slaves and his family as well. The husband could divorce his wife at will, sell her into slavery, or even kill her. this sounds incredibly cruel to our ears today. He also had control over the family religion as well. This put Christian wives who had Pagan husbands at great difficulty. she would expect to attend the altar of her husband. Under these conditions, what was she to do? Would open defiance to her husband win him to the Lord. It would seem more likely that she would get beaten or worse for such insubordination. As 1 Peter addresses how the Christian should bear witness to Christ by their willingness to suffer for Him, we can see that it is the Lord’s desire that the submission of the wife to her Pagan husband would serve as an effective witness to Jesus Christ. It was by such submissive suffering that the wife might win her husband over.
Observing your pure and reverential conduct — People watch how Christians conduct themselves. they are looking for any fault or inconsistency so that they might accuse us of hypocrisy, and therefore, dismiss the claims of the gospel. People often try to provoke the Christian to wrath. The suffering witness of the Christian is a main theme of 1 Peter. Just as Christians were to submit to the government and slaves to their own masters, the submission of wives to their own husbands was a means of witness. Marriage relations have enough difficulties as it is. just like some slaves had difficult masters, many wives also had difficult and pagan husbands. Such husbands deserve to be held to account for their conduct and openly rebuked by their wives. As tempting as that might have been, it might have acted as an incitement to violence against the wife by an angry husband who has had hos authority and respect challenged. The bible says a soft answer turns away wrath. (Proverbs 15:1) So, there is a practical application here just as with slaves not provoking their masters. However, the more important aspect is the Christian witness to the world, We are here to win people to Jesus, Peter, at the end of Chapter 2 used the example of Christ’s willing suffering as a model of how we should witness by unjust suffering.
The kind of witness that Peter enjoins the wives is what we would call today a “silent witness.” It would be better said that it is a witness without words. Pure and reverential conduct speaks volumes, especially in the face of opposition. The husband knew that something changed about his wife. He may or may not have known that his wife had started meeting with the Christians. But he could observe the difference. To a man, honor and respect is more important than love. There is nothing more desirable than a wife who honors him. Many husbands were won over in the Empire by the deferential conduct of their wives. It was one of the greatest means of spreading the gospel, especially in the upper echelons of society.
In general, this silent witness is the means of having someone ask why they react so unlike the world. What is the reason for your hope that is within us. This is where Peter is leading us in 1 Peter 3:15. Having a good testimony makes your well-reasoned response to that question all the more effective.
Not being of outward appearance, such as the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold ornaments, or being clothed in fine garments — The mention of braiding of hair and the wearing of gold ornaments and fine dress seems to indicate that some of the women in the church were wealthy, and, therefore, married to influential men. People were to dress according to their social rank in those days. The wearing of purple, for example, was to be worn only be royalty. But there has always been those who try to dress above their rank in society. This is a demonstration of covetousness which the Bible consistently frowns upon. Peter has just told the churches that they were special to God who is king over all. He calls them a “royal priesthood.” (1 Peter 2:9) This might make some feel entitled to wear costly dress to reflect their new status of belonging to a higher royalty than Caesar. However, this is balanced by the example of Jesus set forth at the end of the second chapter. He, being the Lord of all, wore no royal garments. In fact, on the cross, he wore no garments at all. He who was worthy of the highest privilege lived well below His privilege for the sake of His mission to reconcile us to God. As His followers, we are to follow His example.
We must also note here that many of the early Christians came from the lower ranks of society and slaves. Costly and showy apparel could lead to jealousy within the church. All care must be taken to retain the unity within the church. Paul had to deal with the troubles of distinctions of social rank with the Corinthian Church. They were seated at the Lord’s table according to the rules of social rank with the “betters” eating first. This was to not discern the body of Christ and led to sickness and death within the congregation. (1 Corinthians 11:27-30) Outside the church, social rank was to be respected, but not within the Church.
Having said this, we have to ask how women of rank were to comport themselves in the Roman world. Their pagan husbands would have expected them to dress appropriately according to their rank. This would have required them to fix their hair and dress according to expectations. Even lower ranks of society would have expected this. Men expected their wives to be their glory and wanted their wives to be physically attractive. They liked the idea of a “trophy wife.” This is still true today in many cases and is exploited by both men and women, Since, we have already established in this study that our witness to Christ trumps any privilege we might have, it seems that these cultured women would witness best in their public duties by living up to these expectations.
BUT rather the hidden woman of the heart. even the imperishable quality of a meek and quiet spirit which is priceless to God — The word “but” here is the strong Greek word for “but” which is to make a great contrast between worldly adornment as compared to a meek and gentle spirit. But God treasures a meek and gentle spirit. This isn’t just true of women, but Jesus says “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5) The Greek word for “meek” is in the masculine gender which is used to describe both males and females. In this context, we are speaking specifically about the conduct of wives before their own husbands. Where does the wife go to be truly valued? —by her husband or from the Lord? The first would be desirable. But this is not always the case. Some husbands can be quite mean. But a godly woman, just like a godly man, is always valued. So even when one feels neglected or poorly treated by a spouse or significant other, we can feel that we are truly loved and accepted in Jesus Christ. As we read in Psalm 27:10.
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Psalm 27:10 NKJV
When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the Lord will take care of me.
The history of the church shows the witness of godly wives. Women were not particularly honored in Roman society. Female babies were often abandoned at the steps of the Pagan temples. A few were allowed to live to become temple prostitutes. Most were left to die. The early church would go there and adopt these babies and raise them. These women were educated and cultured. As there was a shortage of women due to their exposure of female babies, it was hard for men to find wives. In particular, where could a Roman of the upper classes find a cultured wife. They found them in the church. Even though men are attracted to outward beauty, how much better to find a cultured and kind wife? A lot of men have married beauty queens only to find them ugly to the bone inside. One can always adorn their bride with costly jewels and raiment. But one cannot easily adorn the soul. These wives were instrumental in the winning of their husbands. during times of persecution in the church, these women of means interceded for their brethren. They had a big part in the Christianizing of the Roman Empire.
For this is how the holy women who hoped in the LORD adorned themselves, being subject to their own husbands — Peter now provides historical context, showing that godly women in Israel were honored by their inward character. One of these characteristics is their being subject to their own husbands. There is an implication that this was a voluntary submission.
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, “Lord.” — Sarah is perhaps the most prominent of the godly women of the Old Testament. When the LORD called Abraham to go to a then unknown Canaan, she went with her husband. It is important to note that Abraham subjected himself to the will of the LORD also. But Sara and Lot followed Abraham’s lead and went with him. One should notice that this call seems to have happened in two stages. First Abraham's father and his family had left Ur of the Chaldees to live as nomads in Haran. this would have involved a great loss in status for her as well as Abraham as Ur had an advanced culture. then after the death of Abraham’s father, the LORD directed him to take up stakes and follow him to an unknown land. Again, Sara went with him. No complaint here was registered. She obeyed in faith. Abraham twice told a half-truth which caused Sarah to end up in first Pharaoh’s harem and later in Abimelech’s. But Sara also could stand up for her rights as well when dealing with Hagar and Ishmael in which Abraham hearkened to Sarah’s voice, the LORD having told her to obey her wishes. And the LORD blessed both of them. Not only would Abraham be the father of numerous descendants including the promised Christ, but Sara would be the mother.
As Abraham and Sarah were believers, the situation is different from the context here which was the submission of Christian wives to their Pagan husbands in the hope of winning them. Sarah observed the outward expectations of society in public but was willing to express herself in private as Abraham’s partner. this makes for an example for Christian wives who are married to Christian husbands.
Whose daughters you are, when you do good and do not act from fear and terror — to be called a daughter in this context means to conform to the example of Sarah. A Christian wife should model the example of the holy women of old such as Sarah. Hebrew often uses this type of construction. For example, we are called “the sons (children) of God. Whereas this is to be understood that we have been adopted into God’s family, there is more than this. Children are to resemble their parents. their conduct is to bring honor to the family and not shame. So a child of God is demonstrated in godly living which glorifies the Father.
What is also important is seen in doing good, first to God, and then to her own husband and family. but Peter tells wives that these good works are not to be motivated from fear and terror. By including the word “terror”, it tells us that fear here is more than mere reverence. The fear of terror is quite a motivator. The slave, for example, might do things, not because they want to obey, but rather because they don’t want to be beaten. Some wives have terrible, threatening, and demanding husbands. No Christian man should ever treat his wife that way, but here we are talking about Christian women married to Pagan wives. God is asking the Christian wife to go the extra mile. when they are tasked and burdened, they should respond from love of God, looking at the unjust sufferings of Christ, rather than obeying out of cringing fear. The Pagan husband would expect her wife to obey out of terror and can often read the attitude of the wife carrying out the task. He can read the defiance in the eyes of his wife as she obeys. He expects that, and it reinforces his feeling of power. But on the other hand, if the wife responds softly, it is disarming to him. Acting out of worldly expectations is indeed a powerful witness.
Husbands, likewise, live with your wives as with a weaker vessel and treat them honorably — the first thing we should notice here is that Peter is now addressing the Christian husband and not a Pagan husband. Peter does not tell us if the wife was a Christian or not. If the wife was not a Christian, the Christian husband’s treatment of her is to be such as to win her to Christ. So what is meant by “weaker vessel?” One way this can be understood is that men as a whole are much stronger physically than women and could force their wives to comply out of fear and terror. Added to this is that in Roman society, as we have noticed, men had the power of Roman law and custom over women. We have seen that the man of the house determined the religion of his entire household and could force conversion. But this is not the way a Christian husband was to “win” his wife to Christ. He must not use force and authority, but instead do the unexpected, to instead respect his wife and love her.
As fellow heirs of the grace of life — This seems to refer to Christian husbands who are married to a Christian wife. there had been some misunderstanding among some of the Jews that the man had power over her wife’s final destiny. He had to decide at the resurrection whether he wanted his wife resurrected as well. It needs to be said that I said “some Jewish men” as well as saying that there is no biblical warrant for such a view. It had been clearly demonstrated that Sarah was equally a participant in the promise of God given to Abraham. In the New Testament, the status of women as being equal in the sight of God is clearly stated. In the Old Testament, the sign of the covenant was circumcision, which only males could receive. This made the covenant status of women ambiguous. But the sign of the covenant in the New Testament is baptism, which both men and women could receive. Everyone, male and female, married or unmarried, Jew or Gentile, rich or poor, free or slave, has equal access to the grace of God. He or she is also responsible to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.
In order that your prayers not be hindered — The Greek word for “hindered” here has the idea of being cut off. It is as if God shuts His ears to the prayers of the Christian husbands. The Christian husband who does not properly honor his wife as his partner should not expect his prayers to be answered. Prayer is not a frivolous matter. There are conditions to prayer. The Lord’s Prayer starts with “Our Father, which art in heaven.” One must have respect to and be in proper relationship with God. One must be a Christian, for only a Christian can properly address God as Father. Bu there is also a horizontal aspect of prayer as well. We also read the petition “Forgive us our trespasses, even as we forgive those who trespass against us” in the same prayer. Notice that Jesus makes only one comment Himself on this wonderful prayer. We read in Matthew 6:14-15
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Matthew 6:14–15 NKJV
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
It is in this manner that Christian husbands who do not properly honor and love their wives should expect their prayers to fall upon deaf ears.
Application
We have seen that the fulfillment of the Great Commission is our bounden duty as disciples of Jesus Christ. This means that this mission means that we live in subjection to God and His purpose for the Church. We fulfill this commission by bearing witness to Jesus Christ in a world that is hostile to Him. this means that we are going to suffer evil for His name’s sake, at least at times. God uses our patient suffering when it is for the sake of the Gospel as a means of winning others. Even though we have been granted great privilege to belong to His family and serve as a royal priesthood, we have to live below our privilege here for the sake of the Gospel. Our warfare is not an active warfare in which we violently overthrow the world’s systems, even though they are evil. We are to be subject to these world’s systems inasmuch as their expectations do not require us to disobey God. Even when we have to say no to these systems, we must accept their punishments patiently, even though they are unjust. This includes the subjection of wives to the expectations of culture, in particular when the husband is a Pagan.
Within the bounds of the Church, we must remember that Jesus came to end the curse which was placed on humanity in the Garden of Eden. One of the curses was the subjection of women to men. This is done away in Christ. within the assembly, all are equal. When the kingdom comes in full, this equality will be expressed throughout the universe. But within the world, we are subject to its arbitrary rules for the sake of bearing witness.
There have been many changes in culture and worldly rules and expectations in today’s west, in particular. Laws have been passed to try to enforce equality. However, these changes are not equally enforced. Those who seem to be rich and influential rule by dividing humanity into various victim classes. women are one of these classes. The result is a world full of hate and suspicion. In the name of equality, democracy, and freedom, we are all becoming slaves to a tyrannical government. As the Church holds to traditional and Bible-derived values, the Christian who would remain faithful to Christian principles becomes the target of persecution. How do we live out our witness under these circumstances?
Obviously, there are some things that Christians cannot obey. Should we submit and participate in ungodly practices? It seems that we can not. We must obey God rather than man in these circumstances. We must be willing to endure whatever evil which might fall on us as a result. We should endeavor to be good citizens as much as possible. We are not to act out of anger but rather out of compassion, remembering that God in Jesus Christ has pulled us out of the fire.
One of the ways we witness to the world is in our family structure. The world hates families and does what it can to destroy the family unit. they try to drive wedges between husband and wife and parents and children. they encourage divorce and encourage marriages which are not marriages at all. The world promotes co-habitation instead of marriage. They promote men to be totally irresponsible. Much has been destroyed. This is not the time for the Church to conform to these ideas which cannot but end in the destruction of the culture as a whole. culture is increasingly under the wrath of God. We as Christians must cling to marriage between a Christian man and a Christian woman. we should as much as possible witness to Christ by providing harmony, security, and stability within the christian family. Fathers and mothers each have their part to play.
