THE VERY RELATABLE LIFE OF KING DAVID
DIRGES, GRIEF, AND OTHER SAD THINGS
2 Samuel 1:1-27, Psalm 55:1-23
#kingdavid
INTRODUCTION
When I think about grief, three episodes in my life come to mind.
First, I think about a gentleman with whom I served for over 9 year in ministry. Up until recently, I had served with him almost 50% of my time being a minister. I served with John A. Meisenbach from 2006 to 2015 (9 years) at New Beginnings Christian Church in Tampa, Florida. John, upon his anticipated retirement from ministry in 2016, would have served at one church for 40 years as the senior minister. That is quite a thing to serve the Lord not only for 40 years, but all in one place. He suddenly died on September 11, 2015 just a few months before his anticipated retirement. September 11th that year was a Friday. I preached that Sunday just two days later after an important mentor of mine passed away. John was important to me in many ways. He was important to many people. In fact, he was so important we had to spread his funeral over two days. It is weird being the minister for folks who are grieving while you yourself are grieving. I had to put my grief on hold in order to help other people who for do very many, had lost the only pastor they had ever known.
Second, I also think about the death of Vera Loree Lynn of Longmont Colorado who died at the young age of 87 in August of 2018. She was my grandmother. It was her wish that her favorite minister preside over her funeral… that of course being… me. Her second favorite minister was also there, Rick Rusaw, who at the time was the senior minister of the very large church she had went to for over 50 years. I was fine to speak and preside over the funeral until I walked into the sanctuary a good amount of time before the visitation and I saw her casket. I placed my hand on the casket and a flood of emotion came over me. I have a strange attitude about death. If I know someone who dies and I know they are a believer, I have absolutely no sadness. I have no fear or sadness about my own death because I firmly believe that the moment I close my eyes in this life that Jesus has me in the next. I am not sad. I am not afraid. Many times, I feel heartless because of my view of death. I had not expected to have sadness for my grandmother, but the emotions were quite strong that day in that moment as I touched her casket. It is almost like I physically had run into a wall.
Third, I think about Lily Jeremiah Borst. We adopted our dog Lily from the Tampa Humane Society in 2013. The story of how we got Lily is a funny one and one where I learned a big lesson. We were thinking and discussing getting a dog and had seen one on a Humane Society video that would be great for our family. It all came down to my decision. I had decided no. In my sermon on a Sunday, I was preaching about a particular topic and mentioned that we were thinking about getting a dog and that I had decided ‘not’ to get a dog. Abby started to cry and sobbed the rest of the service. We had Lily two hours after church ended. She died from cancer just a few months ago after she had been our family pet for almost 10 years. She was definitely a city dog, but adapted well to southern Indiana. Our house is empty in many ways without her. Kelly and I have decided not to get another dog because we do not want to feel the same way again.
So, when I think about ‘grief,’ those three episodes in my life come to mind. There are others of course, but immediately when I hear the word ‘grief’ or ‘grieve,’ that is where my mind and heart settle.
GRIEF
The English word ‘grief’ comes from the old French word which means ‘a burden’ which in turn came from the Latin word which meant ‘heavy’ or ‘grave.’ Our English word for ‘grave’ also comes from the same word. I mention those little language factoids because the word ‘grief’ is a heavy word that means a lot and it touches all of us. All of us deal with grief. This is an emotion that is complicated so we have many words to describe it: sorrow, heartache, anguish, angst, misery, unhappiness, and woe.
2 SAMUEL 1
We are continuing a sermon series on the life of David in the Bible which we find in 1 and 2 Samuel. We are looking at David because we get to see his life with its ups and downs unlike anyone else in all of Scripture. His life is very relatable and teaches us much about life, spiritual truths, relationships, and so much more. Today, we are moving from 1 Samuel into 2 Samuel. 1 Samuel 31 ends with 13 verses describing the death of King Saul and his three sons in battle with the Philistines.
Joshua 1:1 begins “after the death of Moses” and Judges 1:1 begins “after the death of Joshua” and 2 Kings 1:1 begins “after the death of Ahab” and in that same tradition 2 Samuel 1 begins:
READ 2 SAMUEL 1:1 (ESV)
“After the death of Saul, when David had returned from striking down the Amalekites, David remained two days in Ziklag…”
2 Samuel is a new chapter in David’s life and it begins with grief and mourning. He hears about the death of Saul and Jonathan. A strange man stumbles into his camp and relates a story that is mostly false, but has elements of truth in it. Just about the only truths the man shares are that King Saul and Prince Jonathan along with his two brothers died in battle. David reacts.
READ 2 SAMUEL 1:11-12 (ESV)
“Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them, and so did all the men who were with him. 12 And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the LORD and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.”
After verse 13 in 2 Samuel 1, David figures out the man who stumbled into his camp is lying and levels out justice. The second half of 2 Samuel 1 is a dirge written for Saul and Jonathan. A dirge is a funeral song. David expresses his grief in this song. He expresses how brave Saul and Jonathan were. He repeats several times in this dirge, “How the mighty have fallen!” (verses 19, 25, 27). David’s song in the second half of 2 Samuel 1 got me thinking and reading some of his other songs in the Book of Psalms and that was were all my attention went as I thought about 2 Samuel 1. David is grieving for his mentor and for his friend and for so much of the terribleness that passed between them.
TRANSITION
I’d like to share Psalm 55 with you today and draw from that Psalm because it sounds like it could have been written around the same time as Saul’s death. We know David was expressing himself in song since we have one in 2 Samuel 1. Let’s read from Psalm 55 and hear from the Lord this morning about mourning.
READ PSALM 55:1-23 (ESV)
Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not Yourself from my plea for mercy! 2 Attend to me, and answer me; I am restless in my complaint and I moan, 3 because of the noise of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked. For they drop trouble upon me, and in anger they bear a grudge against me. 4 My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
5 Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. 6 And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; 7 yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; 8 I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest.” 9 Destroy, O Lord, divide their tongues; for I see violence and strife in the city. 10 Day and night they go around it on its walls, and iniquity and trouble are within it; 11ruin is in its midst; oppression and fraud do not depart from its marketplace.12 For it is not an enemy who taunts me— then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. 14 We used to take sweet counsel together; within God's house we walked in the throng. 15 Let death steal over them; let them go down to Sheol alive; for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart. 16 But I call to God, and the LORD will save me. 17 Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan, and He hears my voice. 18 He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. 19 God will give ear and humble them, He who is enthroned from of old, because they do not change and do not fear God. 20 My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. 21 His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords. 22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved. 23 But you, O God, will cast them down into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in You.
I. EXPRESS YOUR HEART TO GOD (VERSES 1-15, 20-21)
I could not help but notice that in the first fifteen verses and in a few towards the end, David is expressing his whole heart to God. He leaves nothing out.
Verse 1: David asks God to hear his prayer and asks for mercy
Verses 2-3: David confesses he is restless
Verses 4-5: David says he is in anguish and fears death and is overwhelmed
Verses 6-9: David wishes he could run away and hide
Verses 10-15: David wishes his good friend would not be dead even though they were at odds
Do you see the heart-wrenching emotions that David is feeling? In summary: He feels very unsettled and is in anguish because a very good friend of his with whom he was at odds is now dead and he is overwhelmed with anguish and all he wants to do is go away and hide.
ILLUSTRATION… Vitas.com/family-and-caregiver-support/grief-and-bereavement/coping-with-grief/feelings-and-reactions-to-a-significant-loss
One of the reasons grief is so powerful is because in many ways it is different for each person and we never know what to expect. Grief is a necessary process that helps an individual or group adjust to some kind of loss. The most common reaction to loss is sadness which is usually expressed by crying. There might also be anger which is very confusing and complicates us as we deal with death. Anger usually comes from two sources: either a sense of frustration that the death could have been prevented or a reaction to feeling being abandoned.
Guilt is another feeling that is unexpected as well as anxiety. Guilt is often associated with something that happened or something that was neglected around the time of death or with regrets. Guilt can also come because we are relieved that the person has died. Anxiety often comes from the fear of being unable to care for yourself and the awareness of death for ourselves.
We also can get tired. Fatigue because of grief is a real physical reaction. Shock can settle
in especially if death was sudden or unexpected. Add to all that loneliness and a general feeling of helplessness and even some shock and numbness. Disbelief, confusion, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, hallucinations, changes in appetite and sleeping patterns, and social withdrawal are also common.
I mention all those things because ‘grief’ is a heavy word and David is absolutely dealing with it in 2 Samuel 1 and in Psalm 55. We know from our last few weeks looking at David’s life that he was on the run for quite some time from Saul because Saul wanted to kill him. David says in Psalm 55 that this close companion of his stretched out his hand against him and is now dead.
I can imagine David felt…
… sadness at the loss of his mentor Saul and his close friend Jonathan
… anger that the relationships were strained and death made it impossible to reconcile
… guilty for feeling relieved that Saul could not hurt him
… anxiety at the next steps since he is the next King of Israel
… shock and numbness also feel pretty on target for David.
TRANSITION
In the midst of all of this, what is David’s reaction? He wants to run away and hide, but that isn’t going to happen. He wishes death had passed over his friends, but that is not reality. What does he say? What does he say to us?
II. CALL ON THE LORD FOR HELP (VERSES 16-19)
David expresses all his feelings to God. He pours out all his soul to God and God listens. God can take it. None of it is shocking to Him.
Verse 16 is abundantly clear. David’s reaction to the is to direct his thoughts and emotions and spirit to God in prayer.
Verse 17 is abundantly clear. David’s reaction to the sadness and anger and guilt and anxiety and the shock and the numbness is to direct his thoughts and emotions and spirit to God in prayer and he will do this over and over and constantly.
David understands that God is the redeemer of his soul and is safe. Calling on the Lord in his grief is what David did. He did it often. So should we. We must call on the Lord in prayer and pout out all our sadness and anger and guilt and anxiety and shock and God will hear and listen. God can take it. None of it is shocking to Him.
READ PSALM 50:15 (ESV)
“And call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.”
READ ISAIAH 65:24 (ESV)
“Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear.”
READ MATTHEW 7:7-8 (ESV)
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”
READ PHILIPPIANS 4:6 (ESV)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
In the Old Testament and in the New Testament we are commanded and encouraged to call out to God when we are in distress. He knows our hearts and our distress and wants to help and heal and give peace and grace.
David calls on God.
We should call on God.
TRANSITION
I noticed in Psalm 55 that not only is David asking for God to come and save and pick up the pieces of his heart, but David is also wanting to give his burdens to the Lord. What we see is not just passive prayer, but an active engagement of the human heart with God.
III. CAST YOUR BURDEN TO THE LORD (VERSES 22-23)
David commands us to do what he did. He cast his burden on the Lord. I laughed when I looked up the word ‘cast’ in this verse in the original language. The Hebrew word that means ‘cast’ or ‘to throw’ or ‘to shed off’ is the Hebrew word ‘shalak.’ When I think of the word ‘shalack’ I think about getting hit very hard or a sports team losing by many points. Getting ‘shalacked’ is not a good thing. ‘Shellac’ also has something to do with ladies’ nails, but that doesn’t seem to fit with that we are talking about.
I guess in the end we want to shallack/shalak our grief no matter the language. We want to cast our burdens to the Lord. We want to give them to Him and Him to come in and beat them up and smash them into submission. I am ok with either of those personally.
Giving our grief and anxiety and burdens we have about death to God is an act of prayer and the will and of the mind. It is a decision to allow God to work in the midst of our broken heart. It is allowing God to sustain us and for us not to sustain ourselves. Casting our burdens to Him is an act of faith. We willfully give up the burdens our hearts are carrying and we trust that God will be God.
The Apostle John tells us in the New Testament that the reason we cast our cares on God and invite God into our lives is because His love shallacks fear. Our God is perfect love and He will take care of our hearts by His Spirit.
READ 1 John 4:18 (ESV)
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
READ 1 Peter 5:6-7 (ESV)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.
The Apostle Peter also commands us to cast our troubles onto God because He cares for us. Over and over in the Psalms by the words of David and in the New Testament we are shown that when we are sad or angry or guilty or full of anxiety or shock and numbness has us and the wave of grief is more than we can bear, we are to cast our grief to God. It is what David did.
SUMMARY
In summary, in the midst of our sadness and anger and guilt and anxiety and shock which we can roll up into one word ‘grief,’ we must call on God and give our grief over to Him allowing Him to bind up our hearts with His strength and His peace.
TRANSITION
To end today, I would like to end with a time where perhaps we put this into practice. If you would stand. We are going to participate together in this time of prayer and responsive reading. I will read the regular print and you all together please read the bold print.
END WITH LITURGY… ‘Every Moment Holy’, pages 292-297 [adapted]
L: O Christ our only hope in life and death,
Be near us now, for in this gathering we would open again many sorrows
Remember many joys, and reawaken many hopes.
C: Work in us now, O Spirit of God, to accomplish your purposes.
L: Work in us, O Lord, that grief and hope and joy would all become tools in Your hands
Tools that would shape us to be better lovers of Your Word, Your People, Your Kingdom.
C: Amen.
L: God we gave gathered today in grateful witness to the blessings You gave us in the gift of the life of our loved ones. They knew us and loved us in so many ways. Their words and affections still shape us.
C: We praise You O God for the gift of family and friendship and fellowship and community. May we never take them for granted.
L: Today we gather with space in our lives where friends and family should be. We lament their absence!
C: We miss them so much Lord!
L: We have empty seats at gatherings and empty spaces in our hearts. We lament their absence!
C: They were a gift to us, O God.
L: In those spaces in our lives, we keep empty seats, but we fill those seats with hope. Hope about the expected day when they will be filled again. We grieve only for a season.
C: A day will come when this loss will be restored and there will be no more empty seats at any gathering and no more empty spaces in our hearts. Hallelujah!
L: Amen. Our friends and family in Christ are not forever gone. None who die in You are gone. They have not ceased to exist, but are alive in Your presence and when You command it, they will be resurrected to newness of life. The glories of the new creation are unimaginable.
C: We set all our hopes on you O Christ.
L: Indeed friends, as years roll on, more of us will certainly die. A day will come when the last of us who are gathered here will pass from this world. For a time we might be forgotten. But the hope we plant and nurture here will never be undone. There exists in the future a greater gathering and a greater feast.
C: Glory to You O Christ, for the wonders You prepare for Your people.
L: In full confidence that all our hurts will one day be forever healed, let us open ourselves to memory and tears and laughter and sorrow. Let us not shrink back from the depths of grief, but trust in the unimaginable redemptions worked by the grace of God. We are free to feel our griefs, dear friends, because we have no need to fear them. They are only for a time and then they are no more.
C: It is right to both grieve our loss and rejoice in future promised hope.
L: Lord bless our fellowship and our prayers on this day and we think and pray over ones we have lost. God of all grace give to us strength and mercy and stir in us faith in You.
C: Amen. Amen. Amen.
INVITATION
