Jagadish “Jaggi” Vasudev, better known by the honorific title “Sadhguru,” an Indian yoga guru and proponent of spirituality once remarked: “To forgive does not mean to forget. To forgive means not to carry any bitterness in you, because that destroys your life.” Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. It includes feelings of resentment within and may include acerbity.
Bitterness may be harmful to mental health, which may lead to physical health problems in the long term. It can produce acridity, envy, resentment, a lack of self-confidence or worth, prevailing negative thoughts, insomnia, feelings of revenge and low-esteem. Hebrews 12:15 confirms: “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”
Stories of bitterness feature in the Bible. To refer briefly to just two, the story of Joseph as told in Genesis 37-50 reveals the jealousy and bitterness of his brothers and the resulting actions that they take against him to satisfy their envy.
The story of Cain and Abel as told in the Book of Genesis chapter 4 creates such bitterness in the heart, that Cain murders his younger brother Abel and is exiled for his act.
If we are sincere and seek to remove any bitterness within us, then prayer to God will help. He will guide us in our endeavors to fight against and overcome them. God is always willing to help those in adversity, those without strength who cannot help themselves, those who have been forgotten and the outcasts in life. We need to live in the light of God and not hold bitterness within us. Ephesians 4:23-24 reminds us: “To be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Steve Maraboli, an American-born author once remarked: “Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people - but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.” Isaiah 38:17 confirms: “Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back.”
Thomas Chadwick was a successful businessman who loved to own and drive luxury cars. He had worked hard throughout his career to attain what he now possessed. He had recently acquired a brand-new Jaguar F-Pace which had become his pride and joy. He worked in Bath and late one night he was driving home to his detached house in Gloucester. The weather was atrocious, it was raining heavily and visibility was poor.
As he traveled along the A46 towards Stroud, he noticed a man in his late twenties standing by the side of the road trying to thumb a lift. It was not his usual practice to stop in these circumstances, having heard previous bad stories concerning hitchers. However, on this particular night, he took compassion on the poor soul who appeared to be soaked to the skin. He looked presentable and was clean shaven and so he pulled into the side of the road a few yards ahead of where the man was standing.
The man approached the car eagerly and said "Thank you so much for stopping Sir on this dreadful night, would you by chance be making your way towards Gloucester? Thomas replied: “Of course I would, hop in." The hitcher opened the rear door of the car and climbed into the back seat. Thomas felt that this was a strange action, but decided to ignore it.
They began to chat and Thomas told him that he was returning home to his wife and children after a long day at the office. He informed the hitcher that he was a company executive for an engineering firm based just outside Bath. The hitcher asked: "This looks a beautiful car, sir. Have you owned it long? Thomas responded: "No, actually I have just acquired it. I love Jaguars, they are my favorite car."
The hitcher responded: “You must have paid a pretty penny for this vehicle, the seats are of beautiful leather and I simply adore the walnut dash.” Thomas responded: “Yes, I am very pleased with it. I have wanted to own a car like this for some time.” The hitcher responded: “Life has not been good to me. I recently lost my job and have become destitute. There is no sunshine in my life at the moment but you are a very fortunate person. You have a good job and drive a beautiful luxury car. I am envious of your lifestyle.” Job 10:1 infers: “I loathe my life; I will give free utterance to my complaint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.”
As the conversation progressed, Thomas noted that the hitcher's comments started to become more direct and aggressive. Accusations emerged toward Thomas about his complacency in life, the hitcher felt that he did not fully appreciate his quality of life. He may have worked hard for his achievements and possessions, but that in itself is no guarantee of success. The hitcher had also previously worked hard but there was no comparison between the quality of his life to that of Thomas.
At that moment, the hitcher pulled out a pack of tobacco and papers from his pocket and started to roll a cigarette. The driver said: “I would appreciate it if you don’t light that cigarette in my car, I am a non-smoker and abhor the smell of smoke.”
Suddenly he felt the sharp point of the blade poking into his neck. He turned around and noticed that it was a gold-plated large letter opener. He exclaimed: "What are you doing?" The hitcher responded: "Keep quiet and give me your watch and wallet." Thomas handed the goods over. The hitcher then told him to stop the car in the next lay-by, which he duly did. The hitcher ordered him to get out of the car whereupon he moved into the driver's seat and drove off. An act of kindness and compassion, on a dreadful night had turned into his worst nightmare and bitterness rapidly entered his heart also. The long haul up the steep hill to forgiveness had begun. Proverbs 14:10 reminds us: “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.”
Amen.
