THE VERY RELATABLE LIFE OF KING DAVID
THE CURE FOR ITCHY RASHNESS
1 SAMUEL 25:1-44
#kingdavid
INTRODUCTION… Personal Story of Rashness (p)
Kelly and I were married in August of 1998 and we got married and I was out of school for one fall semester from August to December. During that time, I worked as Kelly was doing her unpaid internship in an elementary school and then graduated. I had worked catering in college for several years and I got a job at a restaurant and catering business while not in school. In the interview, they asked me if I had any experience cooking or preparing food. I did. I helped the 5-star chef where I worked prepare food and grill. We cooked for 500 people all the time. I, in hindsight, rashly said I had much experience when in fact I had very little. They hired me. The first day in the kitchen, the head cook had to show me step-by-step how to do everything because in reality I knew nothing.
I worked at this restaurant and caterer from 630am to about 8:00pm or 9:00pm at night Monday through Saturday. I was working roughly 70-80 hours a week and the amount of my paychecks was not enough to pay rent and provide for our expenses. Kelly was still in school and was doing her internship so she literally couldn’t work. Rashly and with much stress, I decided I needed another job. I got a job at a K-Mart across the street from the restaurant stocking at night from about 11:00pm to 5:00am. I have never been good at math and this experience proves it. My plan was to sleep from when I got home at 8 or 9 until I went to work at Kmart and then sleep 5-630am before going to the restaurant. I was 21. I was invincible. I had to provide for my wife. I had to pay the bills. It wasn’t going to be forever since I was going back to school in a few months. I did it for 1 week and quit because I became physically ill from only sleeping around 4 hours a day. I felt I did what was needed, but I was rash.
DEFINITION OF ‘RASH’
Rash. There are three definitions of the word ‘rash’ that come to mind when I say that word. The first is ‘a temporary outbreak of red, bumpy, or itchy patches of skin possibly with blisters or puss.’ Other words for this are impetigo; hand, foot, and mouth disease; or hives. The second is ‘a series of things of the same time, often that are unwelcome, happening in a short period of time.’ For example: ‘there was a rash of tractor thefts in the area.’ The third is ‘speaking or acting without thinking.’ Other words for this are reckless, foolhardy, or perhaps the interesting metaphor ‘foot in mouth disease.’ I find it interesting that a metaphor for one kind of rash is the name of a physical rash. We are not in the Book of Leviticus so we are not dealing with that kind of ‘rash’ today and we are not dealing with an unfortunate series of events, so, we are dealing with the last definition.
Rashness is one of those unwise ways of living that can either be a normal personality trait or can be something we do or say brought on by situations or stress or the unknown or fear or the people around us.
BIBLICAL EXAMPLE: Jephthah in Judges 11
When I think about stories of rashness in the Bible, I automatically think about Jephthah the Gileadite in the Book of Judges in chapter 11. The Spirit of the Lord comes upon Jephthah and he is called to lead Israel against the Ammonites in 11:29. He is jazzed up and makes an oath before the Lord. He says, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.” (verses 30-31, ESV). I can imagine he was thinking about war and victory and fighting and was pumped up and he made a vow to God. In verse 33, Jephthah devastates the Ammonites in battle with the help of the Lord. He arrives home in verse 34 and most likely expects some animal or chicken or something fuzzy to creep out of his house as he arrives home. Instead, his only child, his daughter, is so excited he is home and comes dancing out of the house to greet him. His rashness led to him vowing the life of his daughter away. It was rash to make a vow to God and it was rash to pray such things without thinking. Prayer to the Almighty God is serious business. Vows to the Lord are serious business. In fact, Proverbs 20:25 says:
READ PROVERBS 20:25 (ESV)
It is a snare to say rashly, “It is holy,” and to reflect only after making vows.
READ ECCLESIASTES 5:2 (ESV)
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few.
MOVIE EXAMPLE: Rashness
When I think about stories of rashness, I think about a scene from the movie ‘Erin Brokovich’ (2000) starring Julia Roberts. Her boss walks into her office giving her a bonus check towards the end of the movie. He almost hands it to her, but then says it is not the amount they discussed. He says that she needs to trust him and rely on him to make the best decision about the bonus money.
She crosses her arms and gets very defensive and says point blank: ‘Trust. You want me to trust you. Do me a favor Ed, don’t use big words you don’t understand. I did a job and you should reward me. All you lawyers do is complicate situations that are not complicated! Do you know what people think all lawyers are backstabbing bloodsucking scumbags? Because they are. I cannot believe you are doing this to me now. It is not about the number it is about how my work is valued.”
Ed, her boss leaves the check on her desk as she rants and raves at him.
“No matter what I do you…” Then she looks at the check.
It is for $2,000,000. She is stunned and her mouth hangs open.
Her boss says: “As I said, the number you suggested was inappropriate. So, I increased it.” He smiled in victory. He then asked, “Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize?”
BIBLICAL EXAMPLE: Uzzah in 2 Samuel 6
When I think about stories of rashness I also think of a man named Uzzah the son of Abinadab in 2 Samuel chapter 6. The Ark of the Covenant was being moved from one place to another in a grand celebration. God laid out specific instructions in the Bible (Leviticus) as to how the Ark should be moved and who should carry it and how it should be treated. The Ark of the Covenant was not just any ‘ol box, but a symbol of the Presence of the Almighty God among His people. The people put the Ark of the Covenant on a cart pulled by oxen which was not the way to move the Ark. The oxen stumbled and the Ark of the Covenant was falling off the cart. 2 Samuel 6:7 (ESV) says, ”And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah, and God struck him down there because of his error, and he died there beside the ark of God.” Uzzah rashly reached out to steady the Ark and he was struck dead on the spot. There is a whole lot wrong with this particular story, but in the background is this rash person who presumed to touch something holy. The holiness of God is serious business and Uzzah and others rashly treated something holy as common and paid the ultimate price.
PERSONAL EXAMPLE: Personal Story of Rashness (p)
When I think about stories of rashness I also think of the story Kelly reminded me of when the kids were growing up. We were all in JC Penny’s getting family pictures done. The kids were old enough to walk and talk. We were trying to get them to pose and all that and Ian starts coughing and his eyes were watering and itching. He was literally getting sick right before our eyes. I said that we needed to cancel the pictures and take Ian to a walk-in clinic. He was obviously having a severe reaction to something. I wanted to leave JC Penny’s and rush him to the clinic. Kelly’s mom happened to be with us and gave him an allergy pill and within 10 minutes he was fine. That story is about the dramatic nature of children and the rashness of me as a father.
DEFINITION OF ‘RASH’
Rashness is one of those unwise ways of living that can either be a normal personality trait or can be something we do or say brought on by situations or stress or the unknown or fear or the people around us.
Rashness is acting without thinking.
Rashness is speaking without thinking.
Rashness is acting in a way and speaking in a way that we immediately regret.
Rashness is acting in a way and speaking in a way that requires an apology.
Rashness hurts our reputation and at times can tear down the people around us.
Rashness destroys trust between people and creates hardships in relationships.
Rashness is the opposite of wisdom, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control.
Rashness can mean we are out of step with the Spirit and acting and speaking in the sinful nature.
LIFE OF DAVID: 1 Samuel 25
Today we are continuing to look at the very relatable life of King David. Everything we have talked about thus far this morning bears out in this chapter of his life. In 1 Samuel 25, we happen to see multiple people being rash including David. We could say we have multiple rashes in this chapter.
The chapter opens with the death of the prophet Samuel.
The chapter quickly moves on and introduces us to a man named Nabal who lives in Carmel so you know he is a fan of roundabouts and rich (that is a Carmel, Indiana joke). Nabal is married to a lady named Abigail. Verse 3 says
READ 1 Samuel 25:3 (ESV)
The woman was discerning and beautiful, but the man was harsh and badly behaved;
David and his followers happen to be hiding out from King Saul in the same area where Nabal lives. In fact, Nabal’s herdsmen have been hanging out near David’s men and David and his men have protected them and helped them. After a little while, David sends messengers to ask Nabal for some provisions.
David’s men did not receive the answer they were expecting. Nabal rashly answers (for he is the first rash) with condescension and insults. Nabal sends David’s men back to him empty-handed. David is a little upset and has a bit of a rash himself.
READ 1 Samuel 25:13 (ESV)
“And David said to his men, “Every man strap on his sword!” And every man of them strapped on his sword. David also strapped on his sword. And about four hundred men went up after David, while two hundred remained with the baggage.”
In an instant, David decides to teach Nabal and his whole household a deadly lesson. One rash action led to another rash action. Nabal spoke without thinking and David is acting without thinking. Both are foolish. Both are reckless. Neither is being wise. Neither are having self-control. That is a recipe for disaster.
The bright spot in the story is Nabal’s wife, Abigail. One of Nabal’s servants tells her the whole story and she immediately knows that she and her husband and her whole household are definitely in danger. She knows that her husband has insulted the wrong person. What does she do in the midst of all this rashness? How does David react?
READ 1 SAMUEL 25:18-20, 23-28, 32-35 (ESV)
“Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves and two skins of wine and five sheep already prepared and five seahs of parched grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on donkeys. 19 And she said to her young men, “Go on before me; behold, I come after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. 20 And as she rode on the donkey and came down under cover of the mountain, behold, David and his men came down toward her, and she met them.”
…[jump down to verse 23]
“When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. 25 Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent. 26 Now then, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as your soul lives, because the LORD has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. 27 And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the LORD, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live.”
… [jump down to verse 32]
32 And David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! 33 Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand! 34 For as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there had not been left to Nabal so much as one male.” 35 Then David received from her hand what she had brought him. And he said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and I have granted your petition.”
We will get to what Abigail did in a moment because it is extremely important.
I would like to draw your attention to verse 32 and how David reacts to Abigail. Make no mistake, David is on the march to kill and pillage and have his honor upheld. To be honest, I don’t note any praying or inquiring of the Lord in this chapter. He did a whole lot of inquiring of the Lord in chapter 23, but we don’t see any of that here. In chapter 25, David is just angry and acting on it without thinking and leading others down the same path.
When this woman falls before him in apology, something clicks in David’s mind and heart and spirit. I happen to think it was the Holy Spirit grabbing David’s attention and yelling… ‘wake up dummy!’ David listens to her. In verse 32, David praises God and thanks God for sending Abigail to him to stop his rashness and to bring him back under control. She prevented him from having needless blood on his hands. Wisdom and common sense settle on David’s heart. Peace comes between them. In verse 35, David sends her away in peace.
TRANSITION
You might be wondering how all the rashness was calmed down and a blow-up was avoided. Now, because you still might be thinking about the other kind of rash and you are wondering how a rash of that kind ‘should calm down,’ I offer you the following:
ILLUSTRATION…myhealth.alberta.ca/health/AfterCareInformation/pages/conditions.aspx?HwId=uh3252
#1 Wash the area with water only. Soap can make dryness and itching worse. Pat dry.
#2 Put cold cloths on the rash to reduce itching.
#3 Keep cool and stay out of the sun.
#4 Leave the rash open to the air as much of the time as possible.
#5 3-4 times a day use Vaseline or a moisturizing lotion or maybe calamine lotion.
#6 If your doctor prescribed a cream, use it as directed.
#7 If you are having trouble sleeping, perhaps take an antihistamine like Benadryl.
Now, again, that is not the kind of rashness we are talking about today, but I want to be helpful. What would be even more helpful and appropriate would be for us to understand how to deal with rashness in ourselves and how to deal with rash people in our lives. Here is where what Abigail does teaches us and leads us by her example.
APPLICATION: Cure for Itchy Rashness
#1 DEAL WITH IT ASAP
One of the first principles we see when dealing with rashness, and I would say this applies whether you are the rasher or the rashee, is make haste and do not wait (verse 18). Verse 18 is very clear that as soon as Abigail understood the rashness of her husband, she wasted no time in seeking to make the situation right. She even sends people ahead of her who are faster because she knows the situation is serious. It is a broad Christian principle that issues between people should not be left alone, but must be dealt with as soon as possible so that other issues do not fester.
This principle is taught in Matthew 5:25 where Jesus says:
READ MATTHEW 5:25 (ESV)
“Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.”
I also happen to think it is present in the Apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:
READ EPHESIANS 4:26-27 (ESV)
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”
#2 DEAL WITH IT FACE TO FACE
Another principle we see from Abigail (verses 20, 23), who is described in verse 3 as ‘discerning,’ is that rashness needs to be dealt with face-to-face. I again say this applies to those who were rash, but also to the receiver of the rashness. We live in a world of phone calls and texting and instant messages and video chats. Dealing with rashness needs to be good ‘ol face-to-face. Own up to it. Spend the emotional energy in a face-to-face encounter that will be uncomfortable so it trains you not to do it again. By doing this, we show respect and that we value the other person even if mistakes have been made.
This principle is taught by Jesus in Matthew 18:15:
READ MATTHEW 18:15 (ESV)
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
#3 HUMBLENESS
Number 3 on the list of things that discerning Abigail did in the midst of rash behavior and rash words was that she was humble and spoke with humility (verses 23, 24). She bows before David showing him her humility. She refers to herself as ‘your servant.’ Everything about her showed sorrow for what happened and communicated verbally and non-verbally that she wanted to make things right after the rash words of her husband.
Abigail stuffed her pride in order to meet David. I might even go so far as to say that she knew Nabal would not be humble and so she left him out. Humbleness is a key factor in fixing relationship issues and mending fences. We can sense humbleness in another person which shows sincerity.
King Solomon, in Proverbs, writes about the need for humility and getting rid of our pride before it gets us in trouble.
READ PROVERBS 16:18 (ESV)
Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.
READ PROVERBS 18:12 (ESV)
Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.
#4 ADMIT WRONG AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
Abigail meets David on the road as he is traveling to her house to exact revenge on her husband for his cutting insults and mistreatment of him and his men. In humbleness, Abigail asks for grace and forgiveness. In verse 25, she admits her husband spoke foolishly. In verse 28, she literally says, “Please forgive.”
When we have acted without thinking, admit we were wrong and ask for forgiveness.
When we have spoken without thinking, admit we were wrong and ask for forgiveness.
When we immediately regret something we’ve said or done, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
When our rashness tears down the people around us, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
When our rashness destroys trust between us and others, admit it and ask for forgiveness.
The Bible also talks about this principle elsewhere:
READ Luke 17:3 (ESV)
Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him,
READ JAMES 5:16 (ESV)
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
So far Abigail has shown us to deal with rashness as soon as possible, deal with it face-to-face, be humble, and admit wrong and ask forgiveness. These are four solid practical truths you and I can live out. There is one more.
#5 GIVE A GIFT
The fifth thing that Abigail does in the middle of this rashness is she offers a gift to David which is an attempt to make things right (verses 18, 27). Nabal and Abigail are wealthy and have the means to assist David and his men. She loads up donkeys and brings him provisions. Nabal objected saying he would not deprive his workers for David’s men, but he does not seem to notice the provisions she takes. Nothing was impacted. Abigail gave a gift in order to try and make right the situation.
Others in the Bible have done such things. Jacob offers gifts to Esau as part of his apology in Genesis 32. Elkanah, in 1 Samuel 1, gave his wife Hannah double gifts because she was in a difficult marriage and was barren. It is a little bit different, but for some reason, I also think of Judas Iscariot, who gave back the silver that was given to him to betray Jesus in Matthew 27 (verse 5) as he struggled to come to terms with what he had done.
Gift giving shows sincerity, and thoughtfulness, and is an action stepping forward away from hurt and towards healing. When we have been rash, offering a gift is appropriate as we try and make right that which we have carelessly and foolishly broken.
CONCLUSION
Being rash in word and deed is an issue that we must correct. David is saved from fully acting on his rashness in this passage and is completely thankful. Abigail blessed David. Soon after this event, Nabal dies. She must have made an impression because David married her.
Rashness can be helped by
#1 Dealing with it as soon as possible
#2 Deal with it face-to-face\
#3 Be humble
#4 Admit wrong and ask forgiveness
#5 Give a gift
PRAYER
INVITATION
ROMANS 5:17 (ESV)
“For if, because of one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the One Man Jesus Christ.”
