FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE
Gen. 45:1-8
INTRODUCTION
A. HUMOR: sometimes it’s better not to know so much
1. In France, in the 1790’s, a priest, a lawyer and an engineer were arrested & about to be guillotined. The priest put his head on the block, they pulled the rope and nothing happened. He declared that he'd been saved by divine intervention-- so he was let go.
2. The lawyer was put on the block, and again the rope didn't release the blade, and he claimed he couldn't be executed twice for the same crime, so he too was set free.
3. Lastly they grabbed the engineer and shoved his head into the guillotine. He looked up at the release mechanism and said, "Wait a minute, I see your problem...." Sometimes it’s best not to know so much!
B. TEXT
45 Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. 2 And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him....4 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! 5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 6 For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. 7 But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.
C. THESIS
1. Today we’re looking at the life of Joseph, observing his journey to forgiveness, to see how we might follow the same path to healing. The title of this message is, “Forgiveness is a Choice.”
2. You will remember that in the previous chapter of Genesis, Benjamin had been accused of stealing Joseph’s silver cup and Judah had pleaded for mercy. Judah and his brothers were anxiously awaiting a verdict from Joseph whether one or more of them would be imprisoned or made slaves.
I. THE DIFFICULTY OF FORGIVENESS
A. JOSEPH’S ANGER TOWARD HIS BROTHERS
1. Undoubtedly Joseph had obsessed about the injury he’d suffered from his brothers. Ps. 105:18 says, "They
bruised his feet with shackles, his neck was put in irons.”
2. For many long years Joseph must’ve relived their hatred, their casting him into the pit, their selling him to the Ishmaelites, the long, painful journey of weeping to Egypt, and his being sold at the slave market there.
3. How many nights had he cried himself to sleep -- homesick, missing his father and his deceased mother; remembering his brothers were at home feasting and celebrating cherished holidays, eating good food, and living free -- while he was eating slave’s food, working for a master, or else rotting for many years in prison.
4. Many times he must've thought how unfair it all was, & that the tables of justice needed to be turned on them!
B. JOSEPH SEEMED ‘OK’
1. On the surface Joseph seemed like he was doing OK, that the unresolved crisis with his brothers wasn’t affecting him.
2. But when he named his sons, we see that both his son’s names mention his trouble and suffering [Manasseh, "God has made me forget my trouble;" Ephraim, "God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering"].
3. He couldn't shake the sadness, despite his wonderful life – he was Prime Minister of the most powerful nation on Earth; he had a beautiful wife, two healthy, happy sons, and all the best life has to offer.
4. At some point, it must’ve occurred to Joseph that he must forgive them, and he pondered that decision. Is there someone you need to forgive?
C. FORGIVENESS IS NOT OPTIONAL. WHY?
1. WE HURT OURSELVES. 1st because when we don’t forgive, we hurt ourselves - not the people we're furious with. Allowing hatred toward someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
a. Dale Carnegie observed: “When we hate our enemies, we give them power over us - power over our sleep, our appetites, our happiness.”
b. In one study where the subjects took “forgiveness training,” mental distress dropped by about 40%, and they saw a 35% dip in headaches, back pain and insomnia. (Lisa Collier Cool - Reader’s Digest, May 2004)
2. IT HURTS US SPIRITUALLY. Eph. 5:26-27 says, “‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” When we allow ourselves to remain bitter and unforgiving, Satan gets a foothold in our lives. It’s the tool he needs to enslave us.
3. BECAUSE GOD WON’T FORGIVE YOU
a. Jesus said “…when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25
b. If we don’t forgive, we can no longer be forgiven. The person who won’t forgive destroys the bridge over which he himself must cross.
4. TO RESTORE THEM TO THE KINGDOM. In Mt. 18:15 Jesus says "If your brother sins against you, GO and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over;” that is, WON HIM BACK as your brother.
II. STEPS JOSEPH TOOK TO FORGIVE
There’s at least 3 reasons why Joseph forgave:
A. HE SAW THE SOVERIEGNTY OF GOD
1. Joseph could forgive because he knew that God had allowed it, in fact, God had ordained it for a greater purpose than he or his brothers. “5 And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here….7 God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 “So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God.
2. It’s hard to accept sometimes that God allowed the tragic circumstances and trials that have come to our lives, but He did. We may never know why He allowed them. That’s why people wrote the song, “I’ll ask the reason, and He’ll tell me why, when we talk it over, in the by and by.”
3. Joseph received a revelation that there was a reason for his 13 years of imprisonment and slavery. There’s a reason why God allowed all of our difficulties. We have to trust that the Great Shepherd of the sheep knows best and is working all things together for our good!
B. HE ALSO HAD BAD TENDENCIES
1. Undoubtedly Joseph began to understand that his boasting of his dreams and his father’s favoritism (which he encouraged) had been the causes of his brother’s hatred. The stumbling blocks in HIS character had caused THEM to stumble. Many times our own shortcomings aggravate the situation.
2. One reason we ought to forgive is because the same fallen nature that makes the other person mean, hateful, and guilty toward me, is in my heart as well. Like the Lord said, “Let he that is without sin cast the first stone!”
3. Like Paul said in Romans 2:1, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” Joseph knew he was partly responsible for what happened.
4. JOKE. In Calvin and Hobbes (by Bill Watterson), Calvin told his tiger friend, Hobbes, “I feel bad that I called Susie names & hurt her feelings. I’m sorry I did it.” “Maybe you should apologize to her,” Hobbes suggests. Calvin ponders this for a moment and replied, “I keep hoping there’s a less obvious solution.” [Norm Langston, Fresh Illus. for Preaching & Teach.] We all do!
C. HE PUT THE PAST BEHIND BY FOCUSING ON THEIR CHANGED CHARACTERS
1. Joseph knew HE had changed, but He wasn’t sure if his brothers were still evil and treacherous or if they’d changed. If they were still wicked, then they still needed correction/ punishment.
2. So Joseph set up a series of tests, including keeping Simeon until they brought Benjamin, and then pretending to keep Benjamin -- Joseph's only full brother -- as his slave, to see if they still despised his segment of the family.
3. Their tearful response, concerned about their father Jacob, and Judah’s willingness to become Joseph's slave-for-life in place of Benjamin (Judah was the ringleader in Joseph being sold, 37:26; 44:33), confirmed to Joseph that they’d repented and changed (as well as an earlier comment that they were being punished for selling Joseph, 42:21-23). They were men who’d made a terrible mistake and they knew it.
4. We must forgive even if our offenders don’t repent, because that’s what’s best FOR US. To not-move-on keeps us a victim of the offender. Let’s remove that power from them!
III. THE CHOICE TO FORGIVE
A. JOSEPH HAD TO CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
1. Joseph, after the tests, completely forgave his brothers and gave them a full restoration to his life and resources. He never brought up the subject again!
2. ILLUS.: FORGIVE AND FORGET
a. Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, was reminded one day of a vicious attack that someone had made on her years before. She acted as if she hadn’t even heard of it.
b. "Don't you remember it?" her friend asked. "No," came Barton's reply, "I distinctly remember forgetting it."
[Luis Palau, Experiencing God's Forgiveness, Multnomah Press, 1985.] She made the choice to forgive; so must we!
B. TAKE A CHANCE & FORGIVE
1. On display in St. Patrick’s cathedral in Dublin is an ancient door with a square opening chopped-out in the center. It’s the story behind the Irish expression of “chancing one’s arm.”
2. In 1492, two Irish nobles, were having a bitter feud. Sir James Butler and his followers took refuge in part of St. Patrick’s cathedral, bolting themselves in.
3. As the siege wore on, Sir Fitzgerald decided the feuding was foolish: they attended the same church and were part of the same country – yet were trying to kill each other.
4. So Fitzgerald called for a truce to Sir James and, proving that there would be no deception, cut a plank out of the door and offered his own arm as pledge of trust.
Fitzgerald’s noble gesture became the expression “chancing one’s arm.” [Diana Garland, Family Ministry (InterVarsity Press, 1999), p.358] Give peace a chance!
CONCLUSION
A. ILLUSTRATION: WHEN CHO CHOSE
1. Pastor Paul Yonggi Cho was pastor of the largest church in the world in Korea. He pledged to “go anywhere to preach the gospel—except Japan.” WHY? He hated the Japanese with a deep loathing because of what Japanese troops had done to the Korean people and to members of Cho’s own family during WWII.
2. Over time he was convicted of his statement & challenged from other leaders to preach in Japan. He agreed to do a pastor’s conference—1,000 Japanese pastors. When Cho stood up to speak, what came out of his mouth was this: “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.” And then he broke and wept. He was both brimming and desolate with hatred.
3. At first one, then two, then all 1,000 pastors stood up. One by one they walked up to Yonggi Cho, knelt at his feet and asked forgiveness for what they and their people had done to him and his people.
4. As this went on, God changed Yonggi Cho. The Lord put a single message in his heart and mouth: “I love you. I love you. I love you. [Mark Buchanan, Your God Is Too Safe, Multnomah] Cho became a changed man toward his former enemies.
B. THE CALL
1. Is there someone that you haven’t forgiven? Someone you don’t like to think about or see?
2. If Joseph could forgive, can you? It all starts with the decision to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. Let’s forgive this morning and be set free ourselves. When you forgive, you set a prisoner free, & discover that the prisoner is you! Forgive them for YOUR SAKE!
3. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Eph. 4:26-27. PRAYER.
