Games People Play
Pt. 2 - Twister
I. Introduction
Back in 1965, Reyn Guyer was running a sales promotion firm he had founded with his father and came up with a concept to sale shoes but then it occurred to him that what he had come up with might work better as a game.
He called on one of the company’s artists, who sketched out a giant board, then tested it out with a group of office workers divided into two teams.
Seeing the fun in eight people-as-playing pieces crammed on a 4x6 mat, a number of concepts emerged, eventually evolving into a game they called "Pretzel".
Pretzel was picked up by the Milton Bradley company, who, against Guyer’s wishes, changed the name to Twister.
But even with the name change, the game still had trouble once it got to market -- major retailers balked, not sure where it fit in or if customers would understand it. Company fears that they might have a huge flop on their hands vanished, however, on May 3, 1966, when Twister was featured on ’The Tonight Show’. Helping matters was the fact that one of Johnny Carson’s guests that night was Eva Gabor (the lady who plays “Lisa” from Green Acres). All it took was one shot of Eva on her hands and knees, with Johnny climbing over her, and no longer was there any doubt what this game was all about. Further proof: during that first year alone, more than three million copies were sold. Conservative estimates are that Twister has been played by 65 million people worldwide.
The premise of the game is simple. Spin the spinner and the place the proper hand or foot on the proper color. But if you’ve ever played the game, you know that what sounds so simple actually becomes extremely difficult.
Remember we said last week that relationship management is life management. Relationships are the single most influencing and impacting factor in our lives. You can't escape them. You must learn to navigate them. Jesus came to not only teach us spiritual lessons, but He also modeled for us relationship management and intelligence.
Twister is the perfect launching pad to talk about relationships. There are many lessons we could apply from the game. I want to just mention a couple and then dive a little deeper on one. This game certainly could be used to talk about the need to stretch in relationships. I have talked about that a good bit, so I won't camp here. It could be used to address the need for flexibility in relationships. If you don't know that relationships require flexibility, then you must live in total isolation and you certainly aren't married. Healthy relationships require compromise and flexibility. If we are always rigid, then we will leave a path of broken relationships behind us.
But as I began to think about it, I realized that although Twister does require stretching and flexibility you can be the most stretchy and flexible in the game and still lose. The number one trait needed in Twister and one that I think most of us are missing in relationship management is balance. In Twister and in relationships we often feel pulled in 100 different directions. The issue is that you can only be pulled in so many different directions before you fall. Therefore, you must learn balance.
For those of you who are car buffs you know that balance is achieved through alignment. That is true in Twister too. If you can keep everything aligned so that your center of gravity is maintained, then you will stay balanced. Jesus, on more than one occasions, modeled for us balance. I want to point you to one example and challenge you to dig into the Gospels and find other examples as well. We need to learn balance that is achieved through alignment from Jesus.
Text: Luke 6:12-13, 17-19 (NLT)
One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles.
When they came down from the mountain, the disciples stood with Jesus on a large, level area, surrounded by many of his followers and by the crowds. There were people from all over Judea and from Jerusalem and from as far north as the seacoasts of Tyre and Sidon. They had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases; and those troubled by evil spirits were healed. Everyone tried to touch him, because healing power went out from him, and he healed everyone.
I chose this passage out of the others simply because in the matter of a few verses Jesus models for us balance.
Notice the alignment of His life.
He spends time in solitude with God. He names 12 from all of the disciples present to be His closest circle. John later tells us, in John 15, that the 12 disciples' relationship would go from servant to friend. Then a few verses later we see Jesus surrounded by a massive group of people who need to be healed and set free.
Here it is . . . to win/navigate/manage relationships like Jesus you are going to have to manage your time and energy and keep you time balanced properly between isolation, friends and assignments.
I want you to know that many of us fail to live balanced and it shows. If you are out of alignment in any of these three areas, then you will probably struggle in every area.
1. Isolation
Most of us in this room don't like, nor do we practice, Jesus modeled isolation. In fact, most of us seem to avoid alone time because in the alone time we have to deal with us and we have to deal with God.
Jesus knew that time in isolation (which we know from Scripture was His practice) was not really time spent alone. It was time with God.
Some of us struggle to have healthy relationships with others because we won't take the time necessary to get alone with ourselves and with God and deal with our issues. We allow other people to drown out the voice of God that is found in silence or distract us so that we don't have to take any hard looks at us. The problem is if you don't remain balanced by spending time alone with God, then you just simply carry you and all of your issues into the other relationships!
Remember it was in isolation that Moses had his insecurities laid bare before God. Remember it was in isolation Jacob had his selfishness and trickiness revealed. Remember it was in isolation that Gideon was confronted with his less than self-image. Remember it was in isolation that Jonah was confronted with his rebellion and anger with God.
It was in isolation that Jesus set His face like flint for the cross!
In isolation we are forced to face us and we are forced to find strength that isn't from us.
We need those moments when we pull away and deal with us by having face to face encounters with God. We must silence the noise so we can hear Him.
Bonhoffer said, “Beware of the brother who cannot be alone.”
Richard Foster says, "There was a time, not so very long ago, when solitude and silence were available to people by the normal conditions of everyday life. Not any longer! In our day we have to choose solitude and silence and plan our lives accordingly."
Thomas Merton wrote, “It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love [others]… Solitude and silence teach me to love [others] for what they are, not for what they say.” In other words, through solitude there comes a new freedom to be with people.
You can't be healthy around others if you won't spend time alone with God! How much time do you spend alone with Him? Are you balanced? Do you always have to be around someone? Do you always have to have noise? Could it be that you are running from you?
Out of a balanced life of solitude, Jesus modeled community for us.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together: “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…Let him who is not in community beware of being alone…Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair.”
It requires balance. Immediately following solitude, Jesus, knowing that we are created for relationship calls 12 men to spend His life with.
We all need friends and we all have assignments!
Because social media has hijacked the word friend, I think many of us are unbalanced because we really don't have as many true friends as we think. Too many of us have a friend list but the truth those folks are really acquaintances at best and assignments at worst. And because we haven't learned to remain balanced, we confuse these two categories and we get ourselves in trouble.
Let me help you quickly. This idea of all you need is Jesus isn't even Biblical. Jesus had Jesus and He chose friends. We must have folks we can do life with. Lone Rangers die lonely. We need friends.
Jesus didn't call every disciple His friend. It was obvious He had more disciples than the 12. But 12 He calls friends.
Here is what you should look for in a friend. Friends earn the right to be friends by having . . .
Good character. 1 Corinthians 15:33 lets us know that bad character rubs off. So, the opposite is true too! So, we want friends who are of good character.
Loyal love. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that friends love at all times and a brother is born for adversity. In other words, a friend is someone who loves you even in the tough and less than ideal times. They will stand with you when you feel like falling. They will fight for you when you can't fight for yourself. Doesn't mean they won't have a bad day . . . ask Peter. It just means they don't have a bad heart . . . Judas. If they aren't there during tough times, then you may need to access friendship to determine heart.
They are willing to hurt you to help you. Proverbs 27:6 - Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiples kisses. Real friends won't set by and watch you destroy you. They will speak up!
They are reliable. Probers 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Now we know Solomon may have been prophetically talking about Jesus. But may I also suggest that he had learned that a good friend sticks closer than the brother. He says there is one. Who is your one?
The friends in our life help fix us!
So, to be balanced you must have friends! But I also want you to notice that Jesus doesn't just hang out with friends. In almost the very next breath Luke says that Jesus spends time with His friends and then He is surrounded by masses. He now interacts with His assignments.
Jesus spends time with folks who need to be fixed.
Our main issue is too often we confuse our assignments as our friends. I am not saying that folks can't progress from an assignment to becoming a friend. Remember we are talking about balance. To be aligned properly you must assign properly.
Often assignments love our gift but don't necessarily love us. Some of the people who needed Jesus to heal them didn't necessarily want to have a deeper relationship with Him. There is nothing wrong with the fact that some people want to be around you because of the fact that you help them. In fact, that is one of the ways we spot assignments in lives. They will want and need your help and they will listen to your voice. Jesus was assigned to the masses that gathered because they needed His help and were willing to listen to His voice! The only danger is if you mistake that desire as a true friend and we have all done this and paid the price.
We all have assignments. There is nothing wrong with that. You are living life on purpose. To help others. To love others. To disciple others. You just have to stay balanced here. You can't confuse the two or you will give your life to those you should only be giving your gift to. (SLIDES 22-23) The reason some of you are having relationship issues is simply because you have an assignment out of alignment and it is causing friction. An assignment most likely will not be able to handle all of your issues. They will love your wisdom, insight, anointing but can't handle your bad day or down moment and if you expect them to then you will be frustrated and they will be disappointed.
So, balance is key. You need time alone. You need the time and the safety of friends and you need to use the health produced in those two areas to help those you have been assigned to. So, I am challenging you to examine your balance. Are you spending enough time and energy in all 3 areas? Do you have relationships out of alignment because you have assigned incorrectly? If Twister is won by being balanced winning at relationships, managing them wisely, navigating them in health also requires balance. Spend time alone. Don't run from you. Make sure you have a circle of people in your life that are full of character, loyal in love, willing to speak up and consistently reliable in every season of life. Don't run from your assignments, but at same time don't mistake them as friends who can handle your entire life. Your life is for a few your ministry is for the masses. Jesus' balance can teach us how to win at relationships.
