The word “intact” is beautiful, it means “not damaged or impaired in any way.”
• Keep the marriage intact, so that the marriage union is not damaged or impaired in any way. Keep it intact and complete.
From chapter 7 onwards Paul was answering the questions raised by the Corinthians in a letter they had written to him. 7:1 “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote…”
This line appears 5 more times:
7:25 “Now concerning the betrothed…”
8:1 “Now concerning food offered to idols…”
12:1 “Now concerning spiritual gifts…”
16:1 “Now concerning the collection for the saints…”
16:12 “Now concerning our brother Apollos…”
Chapter 7 begins with Paul responding to the questions they raised about marriage.
• We have to understand that Paul is not writing a thesis on marriage or setting out a doctrine of marriage here. He is but answering some specific questions.
• He set out some principles regarding the practical aspects of marital life. They are short and brief, and some are local issues.
• To get a full understanding of marriage, we need to get it from the Scriptures, like the texts in Genesis, the words of Jesus, and the other writings of Paul (Ephesians, Colossians).
Let’s recap last week’s section – 1 Cor 7:1-7 – about abstinence
• 7:1 “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
• Yes, if you have the gift to remain unmarried; it is a gift of God for some (v.7).
• Otherwise, you should marry, “for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (7:9b)
• Do not sin by having sex outside of marriage, a problem with the Corinthians.
And if you are married, be committed to meeting each other’s sexual needs.
• Sex is God’s design for marriage, so take care not to “deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer…” (7:5)
• If you have to abstain from sex for a spiritual reason, do that for a short while “…but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (7:5)
• God wants sex within the marriage, Satan wants sex outside of marriage. Sex in marriage is a blessing of God. Sex outside marriage destroys the marriage.
Husband and wife are to care for each other’s needs, whether it’s sexual, physical, emotional, mental or social. God has made the two ONE.
• They are brought together for life - for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish each other until death parts them.
Paul moves on to the next question regarding marriage and divorce.
1 Cor 7:10-11 ESV
10To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Paul addresses marriages where both partners are Christians.
• His charge, also the charge of Jesus: Stay married. Do not entertain a divorce.
• This is also the charge of Jesus. Matt 19:6b “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
• Matt 19:7 [The Pharisees] said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
• Matt 19:8-9 8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning, it was not so. 9And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The Corinthians, like the Pharisees, were thinking about the permissibility of divorce.
• Under what circumstances can we get a divorce? That’s the wrong question to ask.
• God’s will is for marriage is permanent and for a lifetime, and therefore it cannot be broken except upon the death of a spouse.
• Think “prevention” and not the “permissibility” of divorce.
But because of the hardness of man’s heart. It is man’s stubborn and willful attitudes that caused this, resulting in broken relationships in marriage and hence the divorce.
• “But from the beginning, it was not so.” (19:8) This is a concession, not God’s original intent.
• And if one were to depart from their spouse, they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled (7:11). The principle is to stay as you are.
• To marry someone else, we would have committed adultery.
Paul states this only in a few lines because he is answering their specific question, not giving a full discourse about divorce.
• There are myriads of different scenarios and diverse situations that Paul did not address.
• We have many unanswered questions too: What if it is an abusive relationship or the spouse is under some addiction, children are being harmed, or the spouse is completely irresponsible… and the list of scenarios can go on.
• These are all very difficult situations because it takes two hands to clap.
• Dealing with one side won’t solve the problem. It takes two to make a good marriage.
We don’t have all the answers but at least this we know, God’s design for marriage.
• The two shall become one and never be separated. This is the high view of marriage that God has set for us. We seek to KEEP the marriage.
• If the partners are separated, remain unmarried. If marriage is broken, make every effort to mend it. Restoration and reconciliation remain to be our goals.
Our mindset must not be the PERMISSIBILITY of divorce but the PREVENTION of it.
• The question is not, “Can I do it?” – like the way the Corinthians asked, or the Pharisees would always like to question Jesus.
• The question is not, “Can I do it?” but “how can I NOT do it?” How can I prevent it and keep to God’s original plan?
• How can I not even get near to it? What can we do to make our marriages thrive? How can I make it fulfilling, enjoyable, loving and blessed?
• Strive to strengthen the marriage and protect it.
Next, Paul introduces another scenario – what if my spouse is not a Christian?
1 Cor 7:12-16 ESV
12To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
The subject is still about divorce but it is now between a Christian and an unbeliever.
• Again this seems to be another excuse raised by some Corinthians.
• Are we not to separate ourselves from those who do not know God?
• Now that I came to know Christ and belong to the church, can I divorce my spouse since she does not share the same faith?
Paul’s answer remains the same as in the previous counsel: Stay where you are.
• The Christian is not to initiate divorce. If the unbelieving partner chooses to leave, that is another matter, but for a believer, we do not initiate it.
• Why? Because God can be glorified when He works through us to bring our family to salvation in Christ.
• The Corinthians ask, “Will they affect us? Paul’s answer is, “No, we will affect them!” God can still work through us to bless our family.
• Our presence brings a godly influence. Our spouse and children stand a chance of knowing God with us being in the relationship, and not outside of it.
The words “made holy” or “sanctified” (in other versions) do not mean that the unbelieving spouse is saved just by being married to a Christian.
• In this context, it simply means that they are set apart for the working of God in their lives by virtue of their being close to someone who is a Christian.
• Paul challenged them, in fact, to look towards the day when their spouse and children can be “made holy” in Christ, because of them.
Paul’s answer would surprise them. Instead of the unbelieving spouse influencing them adversely, Paul challenges them to influence them instead, toward God.
• Stay in the marriage! Trust God to work through us and bless our family. We are God’s channel of grace for their lives.
• We are set apart for the Gospel and the testimony they will see. We have the responsibility to model the Christian life before them.
Paul is not saying that when we stay in the marriage, they will surely be saved. But leaving them would mean that even this remote possibility is gone.
• Gordon Fee: “But from Paul’s perspective, as long as the marriage is maintained, the potential for their realizing salvation remains.”
• Paul has a high view of the grace of God at work through the believer toward members of his family.
That’s why Paul ended with two questions:
• 16For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
• That’s the thing – we don’t know! God can surprise us!
Apostle Peter believed the same.
• 1 Pet 3:1-2 “ 1Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
• This is not easy but this is our faith in God as Christian in a marriage where our spouse is not a believer.
I came across this testimony by Nancy Kennedy. She came to know Christ but not her husband, and she wrote:
“The way I see it, God has a plan for each life. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot
transform someone else’s heart. I can’t coerce, sweet-talk, or plead my husband into
being a Christian. In fact, when I do try, it only drives him away—sometimes literally. If I start nagging him, he’ll get in his truck and drive for hours.
I decided long ago to accept that it’s God’s job to change hearts. That decision frees me to pursue my relationship with God without the added burden of having to bring my husband to faith. All I have to do is love and enjoy him. That’s God’s plan for me, and He gives me all the grace I need to accomplish it.
That doesn’t mean I’m not lonely at times or that I do everything right. The other day I
grabbed Barry by the shirt and yelled, “Don’t you see Christ in me?”
Struck by the irony of the question, he laughed—and to my surprise, said yes.
It helps to remember that Barry’s not my enemy; he’s my husband. I’m just as much a sinner as he is—maybe more so because I have the power to say no to sin and often don’t.
We keep our faith in God and let Him work IN us and THROUGH us to bless our marriage and family.
CONCLUSION
Our faith in Jesus Christ can only strengthen marriage, not become its threat.
• God’s will is always FOR marriage, not against it.
• The principles that Paul set help build a wall around marriage and magnify its importance.
God has a high view of marriage, and so must we.
• We need to give it a greater priority. Make an effort to build a strong marriage. Give it more thought and more time.
• For some, that’s our harvest field. We are conduits of God’s grace and blessing for our family.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, we thank you for all you have done and continue to do in our lives and marriage. Continue to watch over us in our marriage and for those who will be entering into one someday.
Bind us with your love and grace, so that we may remain faithful and true to each other and more importantly to You. Let nothing come between us, and help us work through anything that is not pleasing to you in our marriage.
Show us the areas where we can do better and give us the strength to obey you. Bless our marriage and our family, and glorify Your Name.
This we pray in Jesus’ Name, AMEN.
You can hear this audio sermon with slides at https://youtu.be/BDVD-G32O2U
Other earlier sermons are available at https://tinyurl.com/KTCC-EnglishService
