“HONOR YOUR FATHER & MOTHER” Ex. 20:12
FBCF – 7/3/22
Jon Daniels
INTRO – Lot of talk in our tumultuous society these days about parents & kids.
- The traditional nuclear family of a dad, mom, & kids is no longer seen as the only pattern for a family.
- The legalization of gay marriage has led to homosexual couples adopting children or doing artificial insemination in order to bring vulnerable, impressionable children into their unbiblical, immoral family situation.
o Drag queen’s Instagram post – Small boy walking provocatively in a Pride parade wearing a dress. Crowd cheering. Caption from drag queen: “For all of you LGBT out there who wish you had children (like I do)…These are our children…& they are watching us & learning from us. Be a good example.” w/ hash tag #generationstocome
- Fatherlessness is a huge epidemic across our nation, causing massive upheaval & uncertainty in children & adolescents, which leads to increased poverty, increased likelihood of runaways, increased substance abuse, increased emotional & physical health issues, increased suicide rates, increased dropout rates & educational struggles, increased crime rates, & increased illicit sexual activities & teen pregnancy rates. (https://fathers.com/wp39/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fatherlessInfographic.pdf)
Families need help – help that we, the Church, MUST offer to them.
- The urgency of our day demands that we do it.
- The love of Christ compels us to do it.
- The Gospel motivates us to do it.
- The Word of God instructs us to do it.
We have the answer, & that answer is found in Jesus Christ alone! We must know Him & make Him known. We must preach Him. We must show Him. We must stand on the truth of His Word & live it out in our personal lives every day, in our homes every day, & in our church every day.
It is no coincidence that, right in the middle of the 10
Commandments, #5 deals w/ a very important family relationship – that of sons & daughters to fathers & mothers. (By the way, God said “Honor your father & mother,” not your “father & father” or your “mother & mother”)
- First 4 – our relationship to God
- Last 6 – our relationship to other people
This Commandment matters to God b/c the way you respond to your parents is the way you are likely to respond to God.
- Angry, hostile, bitter toward parents? Most likely same w/ God.
- Honor parents even w/ their faults? Most likely to honor God w/ your life.
This Commandment makes obedience to the rest of the Commandments much easier. Learn to genuinely honor your parents & you’ll probably not have many problems w/ murder, adultery, & theft. Choose NOT to honor your parents – you’ll mess up so many other areas of your life through disobedience to God’s Commandments.
EXPLANATION – Exodus 20:12
Very simple, clear, & concise commandment: “Honor your father & your mother” – PERIOD. Does not say:
- Honor them if they are honorable
- Honor them if they provided for you
- Honor them if they never neglected you
- Honor them if they treated you right
- Honor them if they never got divorced
It simply & plainly commands us to honor them.
- It doesn’t say you have to like them if they’ve been abusive or neglectful.
- It doesn’t say you have to obey them if they’re leading you in a direction that is contrary to God’s commands.
- It doesn’t say to imitate them when they’re ungodly & immoral.
- But it does say to honor them.
“Honor” – Hebrew word means “to be heavy, to be weighty.” Basic meaning is to treat someone w/ respect b/c they carry a heavy weight of authority & responsibility.
- Sometimes we may say that certain dignitaries or leaders are “heavyweights” b/c of their place of authority & influence. That’s exactly what the Heb word means.
- It means to treat your parents as VIPs b/c of the heavy weight of authority they carry.
God is clearly commanding all of us to honor our parents – to prize them highly, show them high respect, exalt them, commend them & appreciate them.
D.L. Moody: “’Honor thy father & thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.’ I believe we must get back to the old truths. You may make light of it & laugh at it, but remember that God has given this commandment, & you cannot set it aside. If we get back to this law, we shall have power & blessing. I believe it to be literally true that our temporal condition [present, earthly condition] depends on the way we act upon this commandment.”
APPLICATION – Honoring our parents is a lifelong responsibility.
How can we honor our parents the way God wants us to honor them?
GIVE THEM THE PLACE THEY DESERVE – “Honor your father AND your mother” – Significant that God clearly included mothers in this commandment in a time & culture when women were not always held in high regard. God put father AND mothers in a special place in our lives. Their place is:
- A place of prominence – This place is due to their important position in our lives & in our society
- A place of respect – Many of our parents have lived wonderful lives of integrity & commitment to the Lord & dedication to their families. It’s easy to give them a place respect. But some of you have a hard time respecting your parents b/c of some very hurtful experiences you’ve had. Your job is to respect the position of parents & show the love, grace, & forgiveness of Christ to them.
- A place of value – You can’t put a price tag on the value of having Godly parents who sacrifice for you & are unselfishly dedicated to the awesome job of being a mom or dad.
The promise at the end of this commandment was not necessarily for individuals but as a promise to the community. The promise is that a society that honors its aged people are gives them the place they deserve will experience the blessings of God.
GIVE THEM THE OBEDIENCE THEY REQUIRE – Clearly, the Bible commands that children obey their parents.
- It’s the right thing to do. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).
- It pleases the Lord. “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” (Colossians 3:20).
- It simply makes for a better life for everyone in the family & in society. Deuteronomy 5:16 – “Honor your father & mother, as the Lord has commanded you, so that you may live long & that it may go well w/ you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
o Honoring & obeying = less conflict inwardly & outwardly
o Honoring & obeying = inner peace instead of inner turmoil
o Honoring & obeying = less damaging hang-ups from the past
o Honoring & obeying = families staying intact, which strengthens the community & society
And that obedience continues into our adult lives. We are always under the commandment to honor & – as far as possible – obey our parents.
GIVE THEM THE CARE THEY NEED – Matthew Henry – Honoring parents includes: “Endeavoring, in everything, to be the comfort of their parents, & to make their old age easy to them, maintaining them if they stand in need of support…”
Once upon a time a young couple with a son was forced to take in the husband’s aging father. The young wife, being a modern sort, didn’t like the idea, but agreed to do it for her husband’s sake. She told the old man, “We eat at such-and-such a time. If you want to eat, you’d better be at the table when the meal is served.” At first the old man came right on time. But eventually he came late, & to teach him a lesson, the young wife had the old man eat in a corner by himself. More time passed & the old man began having trouble with his food. He couldn’t seem to properly handle a knife and fork. After enduring the situation as long as she could, the young wife in exasperation had her husband buy a feeding trough, the kind you use to feed pigs. “Now then,” she said, “If you are going to eat like a pig, you’re going to have a trough like a pig.”
Everything seemed to go well for a few weeks until one day when the young couple couldn’t find their 4-year-old son. Bam, bam, bam came the noise from the shed behind the house. Walking to the door of the shed, they discovered the young boy busily nailing boards together. “What are you doing sweetheart? asked the young wife. “Oh,” said the boy, “I’m making a trough for when you grow old.”
Although it is hard & causes disruptions to our way of life sometimes, we must not miss the privilege & opportunity that is ours when our aging parents need the care that we can provide for them. What a privilege to honor them in this way! Which leads to the final point…
GIVE THEM THE LOVE THEY WANT – Instagram post: “Your parents are your parents. I don’t care if they call you 5 times a day w/ the same story. LISTEN! ‘Cause one day you’re gonna want to hear their voice.”
I want to have as few regrets as possible when my Mama leaves us. I want to do my best to continue to honor her, to respect her, to love her, & to care for her. I hope you feel the same way if you parents are still alive.
Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 13 will help us w/ this: “Love is patient & kind…does not envy or boast…not arrogant or rude…does not insist on its own way…not irritable or resentful…does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices w/ the truth…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. LOVE NEVER FAILS!”
CONCLUSION/TAKEAWAYS – Bottom line: We honor God when we obey this Commandment & honor our parents. So here are some takeaways:
No matter how old you are, if your parents are still alive, make sure that you are taking deliberate steps to honor them.
- For some of you, that’s easy – Parents are loving, concerned, compassionate, & committed to Christ & to you.
- Others more difficult – may need to grant forgiveness, try to reconcile
If you are a parent, make it easy for your kids to obey this Commandment. Make sure that you are living the kind of life that honors the Lord. If not, come to Christ today & be saved, or renew your commitment to Him.
If you’ve got some regrets about the ways that you’ve not honored your parents, then come to the Lord today & accept His forgiveness & restoration.
