iDADS
“Intentional Dads”
1 Thessalonians 2:8-12
http://www.sermonspice.com/product/17321/
im-watching-you-dad
Wow…
I’ve watched that video a bunch of times this week, and I gotta tell you, it moved me every single time.
It’s powerful, convicting, challenging…
Sooo convicting, and sooo true
I am watching how you treat people.
The way you are living is having a big impact on me
TODAY – is Father’s Day 2014… Happy Father’s Day to every DAD out there this morning…
NOW – let me say a couple of things up front this morning…
#1 – I love being a dad. I really do. AND – my adventure into fatherhood 3 decades ago on March 20, 1984… (I was 6 years old @ the time)…
Fathers Day 1984
TODAY - I have…
Three daughters - 30, 22, 10
Two sons 8, 27
Three grandchildren (Zeb, Maciah and Asher) and a 4th on the way.
#2 – I have always found that wearing the title of Father (one of the titles for our God) is an incredible honor, a huge responsibility… and slightly overwhelming and intimidating.
#3 – Dads (despite what modern culture and our secular media says) we matter… A LOT!
QUESTION… What do
• 90% of homeless and runaway children
• 63% of youth who commit suicide
• 80% of all rapist
• 85% of children with behavioral problems
• 71% of all high school dropouts
• 75% of all teens in chemical abuse centers
• 85% of all youth in prison
• 70% of all girls who become pregnant as teens
Have in common?
THEY ALL come from homes without a dad.
YEAH - I know there has been a lot of debate on the importance of fathers in the home in recent years. AND - let me say up front that though many single moms can and often, do a great job - it still does not diminish the importance of dad in the life of a child…
I MEAN – it’s how the Creator of the universe wired, and set the system up….
OKAY… #4 – I recognize that just like with Mother’s day… father’s day can be pretty tough.
• MAYBE - you had a great dad and he is no longer here and you really miss him
• OR MAYBE - your dad was not around… OR MAYBE he was and things were not that good and it still kind of hurts
• OR MAYBE - you are a dad, and you are afraid that you are not measuring up.
The truth is I recognize that holidays like Father’s Day always come with an emotional charge.
AND
#5 – my goal today is to first and foremost honor God our heavenly Father and second honor, encourage and challenge the DADS in this room… (and when I say dads I am talking about…
Dads and step dads, foster dads, adopted dads) to live out more fully this call to fatherhood…
The Truth About Being A Dad,
According To 14 Really Funny Famous Guys
On how kids' songs should really go: “There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’” – Jim Gaffigan
The truth truth...
“Having children is like living in a frat house -- nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” -- Ray Romano
On why it's really beneficial to have kids: "I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps." -- Jimmy Kimmel
On how simple dad-hood should be:??
"Be a dad. Don't be 'Mom’s assistant.' That's depressing, just waiting for her to write you a list, walk around a store staring at it, calling her from the cereal aisle to make sure you got the right thing. Be a man. Make your own list. Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a 4-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you. I did that. I spent more time with my kids. And I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don't know what I'm doing. But my kids love me. Go figure." -- Louis C.K.
The truth:
"When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they're crazy, because 'sacrifice' infers that there was something better to do than being with your children." -- Chris Rock
On the only thing you need to know:
"Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every day." -- Mike Myers
Yeah Dads are pretty awesome.
They are a breed of our own.
AND THOUGH - not easy, being a good one, is very powerful and has immeasurable potential.
HOWEVER – being a good dad is not simply going to happen by accident. If being a great dad came in a bottle we would all be one. INSTEAD – we will have to be very intentional about it.
‘intentional’ – designed, planned… done with intention and purpose.
UNDERSTAND – some things are just not going to happen unless we are very intentional about it, right?
I MEAN – no one…
• Looses weight
• Pays off debt
• Gets in shape
•
By accident.
It takes intentionality.
WHICH IS WHY - this morning I want to talk about being an iDAD, about being an intentional dad.
BECAUSE – intentional dads get it done.
AND – I see a lot of dads doing just that at The Grove…. Getting it done. Not perfectly, but striving all of the time to be better.
Yeah, I’ve noticed and so have your families…
BUT – before we go there… I want to say 4 quick things to every Dad out there…
#1 – Be Positive… Be positive about being a dad, and the difference that you can (and were actually designed) to make in the life of your kids
#2 – Be realistic – don’t be overwhelmed by what you ‘aren’t’ doing; rather focus on some small step that you ‘intentionally’ begin taking this week…
AND LISTEN – over time these small steps will add up to huge impact.
#3 - Be determined – really dedicate yourself to the privilege and responsibility of fathering… Make being ‘an Intentional DAD’ one of your top priorities in life…
#4 – Be Hopeful… – He hopeful that you really can become the DAD you want to be… because you can. LISTEN DADS – God is in your corner big time on this one.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. – Ephesians 3:20,21
Our text for today is found in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2.
Paul started this church during his 2nd missionary journey (Acts 17). Unfortunately he was only able to stay there about 3 weeks because his quick success was met by strong opposition that forced him to flee the city.
Paul wrote this letter while he was ministering in Corinth. He had sent Timothy back to Thessalonica to check things out because he was driving himself crazy wondering what happened to those new believers after he had left. When Timothy his partner in the Gospel returned, he brought back good news. In response Paul sat down and wrote this letter we now have in our bible - a letter he concludes by saying, “I command you in the name of the Lord to read this letter to all Christians....”
Now when Paul wrote the verses that we are going to dig into this morning – he wrote them to describe the kind of leader that he was when he was with them… Understand - he did not write them to give us a model for dads, but that is exactly what he did.
We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.
Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.
You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed.
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. – 1 Thessalonians 2:8-12
we dealt with each of you
as a father deals with his own children
Prayer
I. iDads are intentional about their…mWalk with God
Surely you remember, brothers and sisters, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.
You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. – 1 Thess 2:9,10
AND LISTEN -walking with God is most definitely not something that will just happen by accident. NO – the chances of simply waking up one morning and finding ourselves mature in our faith is as likely as the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.
NOW UNDERSTAND – it’s not that God doesn’t want us walking with Him… He does.
IN FACT – it’s one the things God did with Adam and Eve when He created them… Genesis 3 tells us that God would take walks with them in the cool of the morning.
Man, that had to be sweet…
BUT THEN CAME – the tree, the fruit, the serpent, the lies, the bite, the sin, the fall…
RESULTS – what was once so natural, so easy, what was once just a normal part of life… BECAME - difficult, unnatural and rare.
BOTTOM LINE – Dads in order to have a solid walk with God we are going to have to really want it, a lot.
AND – we will have to
Go after with all we got,
Pursue it with great passion…
AND DADS – I think we know what it is to pursue something.
I MEAN – have you ever pursued…
• A career
• A goal
• A person
• A hobby
I remember when I first begin pursuing my wife Laurie…
I still do.
iDads are intentional about their…
Walk with God
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
– Jeremiah 29:11-14
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. – Dt 6:5,6
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. – Matthew 6:33
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, (NLT)
SO…
What can a dad do to intentionally improve His Walk with God?
1. Read the Word on a regular basis
2. Pray on a regular basis
3. Hang out with other guys who want to pursue and walk with God.
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” - John 15:5
As we take our relationship with our Heavenly Father deeper, we will find that not only will we be more willing to be the dad we want to be, but we will literally be empowered to become that dad.
II. iDads are intentional about their…Expressions Of Love
NOTICE – in our text that Paul says to the church, to the men and women in Thessalonica…
We loved you so much…
NOW - in the Greek language in which Paul wrote, those words expressed an intensity of love that gives over & over again.
Paul is saying, “It’s hard even to find words to express how much - but we really do love you.”
YOU KNOW - I think that is an important character trait for fathers because ‘expressing love’ does not come naturally for most men. IN FACT - I’m convinced that is the reason the Bible tells husbands to “love” their wives, because we have to learn how to love.
NOW - the Bible almost never tells wives to “love” their husbands because that usually comes naturally for them. Instead, wives are told to “respect” and “submit” to their husbands, because sometimes that is hard to do.
Men, most of us have to learn how to express love.
AND - that is definitely true in the father & child relationship.
It doesn’t usually come easy for us.
BUT AFTER - we bring that little bundle of joy home… we eventually figure things out… we overcome our discomfort with expressing our love…
BUT THEN – do you know what happens - they grow up, & just about the time we get good at it, it all changes. And we get uncomfortable again.
A few years ago the cartoon strip, “For Better or for Worse,”
(you use to have them in these things called ‘newspapers)
It showed Dad coming into the room where his teenage daughter was sitting on the couch watching television & munching popcorn. So he decided to sit down next to her & help himself to the popcorn.
As he was sitting there, a little thought balloon appears over his head. He’s thinking…
“I remember when she was so young. I held her in my arms & loved her, & it was wonderful.
“Now look at her. She’s all grown up, & such a beautiful girl, too. I wonder what she would think if I held her like I used to & told her again that I love her?”
He finally concludes that she would be uncomfortable if he did that.
While he’s thinking that, his daughter is thinking, “I wonder why Dad never hugs me anymore?”
DADS – it is always good and right to express our love to our kids… no matter the age.
AND - fellow-dads I was just recently reminded of this in a pretty powerful way.
My son John is 27 soon to be 28… and we spent 2 days together just this past week.
I picked him up at Richmond and we drove down to Roanoke.
One of the things that was bugging him and caused him to think something was not right in our relationship was the fact that for the last couple of months, we ended our phone calls I had stopped saying, ‘I love you.’
NOW – unknown to John, I stopped saying it because I sensed ‘wrongly’ that it started to make him uncomfortable.
Crazy.
I should have had a conversation about it.
Dragon’s Tooth
The 5 Love Languages
1. Gifts
2. Quality time
3. Words of affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch
III. iDads are intentional about their… Pro-Active Involvement
We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too. – 1 Thess 2:8
DADS – to become the dads we want to be requires our involvement…
Requires us to share not only….
BUT – our lives as well
AND LISTEN – to make this a reality is a lot harder than we think… because…
• We’re busy
• We’re pulled in so many different directions by so many different things and people
• We’re tired at the end of the day
It will take ‘t.i.m.e.’ which we do not have much of.
• We are selfish and may have to give something up that we want to do in order to be their for our child.
I saw a sad example of this being played out on JinTao baseball team during the playoffs - in the championship game.
There was one kid who was catching – who would look around every time he caught the ball to see if his dad was there.
He wasn’t.
I found out later he was out playing golf.
Apparently he really loves to play golf.
DADS – our involvement really matters.
DADS – have you notice how every time you go to your child’s event at school or somewhere else… they are always scanning the room to find us.
AND – when they do, they always break out in a smile.
I remember hearing a guy named Gary Rosberg speaking at a Promise Keepers 10+ years ago… about a picture his young daughter drew at school of her family…
It had the house, trees, sun, her brothers and sisters and the family dog… he asked her ‘isn’t something missing from your picture?
Oh daddy you’re not there you are at the office…’
Though it hurt - He kept that picture, he actually put it up on the big screen.
DADS – to become the DAD we want to be requires that we become very intentional about our involvement.
WHICH – will mean that we may need t …
• Turn off the game
• Get off our laptop or phone
• Do something that interests them
I have noticed that in the last generation, the definition of successful parenting has changed from spending time personally with your kids (hanging out with your kids) to being an activities director for your kids.
– Rick Warren
AGAIN… dads the goal today is no to
beat ourselves up with regret…
BUT - just to ask ourselves this question,
“what small step can I take this week
to be more involved in my child’s life?”
IV. iDads are intentional about their… Use Of Affirming Words
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting…
UNDERSTAND – throughout the Scripture we find God the Father encouraging His children…
God Encouraged
• MOSES at the burning bush when he told him to deliver the nation of Israel.
• GIDEON by calling him a mighty warrior
• JOSHUA (with His presence and assistance) as He set out to conquer the promise land.
This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
God encouraged Jesus (His one and only Son) after His baptism in the Jordan River…
“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”
- Matthew 3:17
THAT – is the kind of Father I want to be…
A DAD – who encourages with His words, His presence and His assistance…
UNDERSTAND - there is power in our words. Words are important. Words can either lift up or tear down…
AND LISTEN – if anyone knows which is more our natural bent – it is our kids…
Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
AND PAUL WRITES – in Ephesians 4
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. – Eph 4:29
DADS – let’s commit today to begin speak ‘more’ encouraging words to our kids…
Words that heal.
Words that strengthen – rather than negative words which wound and discourage.
Christian author John Eldredge says it like this: “Your son or daughter, no matter how old, will always want and need to hear these words from you: You have what it takes; you are worth fighting for.”
Dads, let your daughter know that you think she’s beautiful, you think she’s smart, that she’s talented. That you believe in her.
Dads, let your sons know that you think they’re capable, that they can accomplish anything. That you believe in Him.
DADS – let’s try to catch them doing something right and commend them for it… in front of others if possible.
You are my son/daughter
Whom I love
With you I am well pleased
AGAIN DADS – what small step can we take this week to be intentional about speaking affirming words…
AND LISTEN – when we do that…
WHEN WE – affirm, encourage and comfort with our words…
DO YOU KNOW – what we will become dads…
A place of refuge for our kids…
At the lowest point in his life, having been pursued and persecuted by the king (the father of his best friend), a former shepherd boy named David lived in hiding.
• He had been a national hero; now he was in exile.
• He had been a member of the king’s court and now he sleeps in caves.
• He had been anointed as the next king of Israel; now his future looks dark.
• He had mercifully spared the king’s life; now that same king seeks his.
UNDERSTAND - David’s problems loomed so large that he felt like a man among lions. He trembled like a child among hungry beasts. Finally in distress, David turned to his father, his God and cried out.
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until disaster has passed..." Ps 57:1-1
Within a few years, however, David became king, defeated all his enemies, united a kingdom in turmoil and won the respect and regard of his people. How were such thing accomplished? David provides the answer in later Psalms.
I love you , O Lord, my strength. the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." - Ps 18:1-2
THAT’S… the kind of DAD I want to be.
YEAH I KNOW – that I know I can’t be almighty or as all knowing as God is…
AND OBVIOUSLY - I want my children to first and foremost turn to God as a refuge, NEVERTHELESS I still want to be a refuge.
I want my kids to know…. that there is always a safe place that they can run to.
I want them to know… that they can come to me for refuge from:
• the storms of life,
• attacks of peers,
• the pressures of adolescence,
• disappointment, pain, heartache, ridicule and fear.
AND YEAH I KNOW THAT: my being a refuge will require that I be alert and observant to my children’s words and moods…
IT WILL MEAN - that I’ll have to develop and refine the art of listening (being quick to listen and slow; to correct, reprimand, instruct and advise)
IT WILL MEAN – that I will have to become more and more approachable (stick out your hand and I slap you in the face - how many times will you continue to approach me...)
AND FINALLY - I know that being a refuse will require my coming along side of my kids when they are need...
Helping them, picking them up and carrying them if necessary…
V. iDads are intentional about their… Primary Purpose
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children…urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.
– 1 Thessalonians 2:11,12
QUESTION – what is our primary purpose as a dad?
TO (through) our affirming words, our proactive involvement, and our expressions of love
urge our kids
To live lives that our worthy of God
To lives that sold out and on fire for Jesus
Paul said it this way in…
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord… - Eph 6:4
DADS - we need to urge, to motivate our kids to live a life worthy of God. And understand the right kind of motivation, can get people to do some amazing things...
Just before giving a lavish party at his estate, a tycoon had his swimming pool filled with poisonous snakes. He called the guests together and announced, “To anyone brave enough to swim across this pool, I will give the choice of 1,000 acres of my oil fields, 10,000 head of cattle, or my beautiful daughters hand in marriage.
No sooner were his words spoken than a young man plunged into the pool, a swam across the pool in a frantic, frenzy, he climbed out - unscathed but breathless.
“Congratulations!” the tycoon said, “you have to be the bravest man I’ve ever seen. So what will it be, do you want my oil fields?” “No” gasped the guest. “Then do you want the 10,000 head of cattle?” “No!” The young man shouted. “Well, then you must want my daughter’s hand in marriage” “No!” Came back the reply. “You must want something,” said the puzzled host. “I just want to know the name of the guy who pushed me into the pool!”
We need to urge, we need to motivate our children do live lives worthy of God. But how do we do that?
Btw poisonous snakes are not an option.
LISTEN - A key to understanding this, is the meaning of the Greek word in our text that is translated urge, it is a form of the verb martureo, which means to bear witness.
The noun form of this word is where we get our English word martyr.
So how do we bare witness to our children to live a life worthy of God? The best way is by being an example of someone who is living a life that is worthy of God…
DADS - we, give them an up close and personal example, of what it means to live a life that is worthy of God…
Like the video we started with today…
I’m watching you dad
He personally carried our sins?in his body on the cross?so that we can be dead to sin?and live for what is right.?By his wounds? you are healed.
Once you were like sheep? who wandered away.?But now you have turned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
– 1 Peter 2:24,25
