A. Today, as we return to the story of Ruth, we will witness an unusual marriage proposal, so I thought it would be fun to start with a few funny marriage proposals I found on the internet.
1. This first picture shows the importance of getting things in the right position when making a successful marriage proposal.
a. Everything is backwards and one thing is side ways! It’s hard to find good help!
2. If you decide to have your proposal written in the sky, it helps to choose a cloudless day.
3. When asking someone to marry you on a marque, it helps to identify yourself.
4. The same is true if you write it on the inside of a pizza box.
5. Here’s a few other food related proposals…
a. Great idea, right? Put the ring in a bun – sure hope she noticed it before she ate it!
b. The way to a woman’s heart is definitely through Taco Bell sauce! Don’t you think?
c. This guy went all out at Outback Steakhouse, he even got an appetizer! Outback Steakhouse tweeted: “Congrats to Brandon who just asked his girlfriend to marry him with the best flower ever – a Bloomin’ Onion!”
6. Here’s one final one for you: I think you better be pretty sure of her answer if you are going to have the question tattooed on your back. Just sayin!
7. This week I attended a memorial service for the husband of one of my mother’s life-long best friends.
a. During the service one of the sons told the story of his parent’s courtship.
b. They had a single blind date before he left for the Navy for two years.
c. They wrote letters to each other throughout those two years and in one of the letters he popped the question.
d. She said, “Yes,” and they eloped when he came home from the Navy and their marriage lasted 57 years – how special is that!
8. With all marriage proposals, there is risk involved and the person has to step out on faith.
a. Sometimes it is truly a stab in the dark (no chance she will say “yes), but other times it may seem like a done deal.
b. But there is always a question involved, and it can be answered “yes” or “no.”
9. When I asked Diana to marry me, I was pretty sure she would say “yes,” but she didn’t know I had been buying the ring, and she didn’t know when I would pop the question.
a. Thankfully, she said, “yes,” and has continued to say “yes” for all these years!
B. We don’t know how Naomi’s son popped the question to Ruth when they were married before he died, but today we are going to witness a very unusual, but a very decent marriage proposal.
1. Let’s do a quick review of the story that we have covered up to this point.
2. Naomi and Ruth had experienced a lot of hardship and heartbreak – they had lost their husbands while living in Moab, but had returned to Bethlehem when the famine had lifted.
3. Naomi had returned to Bethlehem as a broken and hopeless woman, but God began to extend His favor and lift her spirits when Ruth went out to glean and ended up in the field of Boaz, a relative of Naomi’s deceased husband, and a potential kinsman redeemer.
4. Boaz noticed Ruth in his field and showed her extraordinary favor and generosity during the harvest.
5. Naomi was so thankful that her daughter-in-law had been able to bring home such a large amount of grain over the course of the harvest.
a. It was a real treasure and would sustain the two of them for some time.
6. Boaz’s positive treatment of Ruth throughout the harvest likely had both Naomi and Ruth wondering if Boaz also had a romantic interest in Ruth.
a. If Boaz treated all those who gleaned his fields the way he treated Ruth, he’d be gleaned out of house and home! Right?
b. However, if he was romantically inclined toward Ruth, he hadn’t made it publicly known.
c. Perhaps he thought he was too old for her and that she would want someone younger.
d. Perhaps Ruth was still wearing her widow’s clothes signaling that she was still grieving.
C. But now that the harvest drawing to a close, Naomi knew that the opportunity for Ruth to be proactive with Boaz was about to end.
1. Naomi was not just some meddling mother-in-law, rather she was looking out for Ruth’s very best interests by concocting the plan she was about to propose.
2. Without a plan like the one Naomi would suggest, Ruth would have had to glean every harvest for years to come just in order to get by.
3. Basically, Naomi encouraged Ruth to let Boaz know that Ruth was willing marry him.
D. The Bible says: 1 Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, shouldn’t I find rest for you, so that you will be taken care of? 2 Now isn’t Boaz our relative? Haven’t you been working with his female servants? This evening he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. 3 Wash, put on perfumed oil, and wear your best clothes. Go down to the threshing floor, but don’t let the man know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 When he lies down, notice the place where he’s lying, go in and uncover his feet, and lie down. Then he will explain to you what you should do.” (Ruth 3:1-4)
1. In Old Testament times, parents often arranged marriages for their children, but nowhere does the OT show such a role being given to a mother-in-law.
a. The arrangements of marriage were often done in a more formal and customary way than Naomi suggested.
2. Boaz was a suitable prospect to marry Ruth, not just because he was wealthy and a man of character, but because he was a close relative.
a. A levirate marriage is literally a “marriage with a brother-in-law.”
b. The word levirate, which has nothing to do with the tribe of Levi, comes from the Latin word levir, “a husband’s brother.”
c. In ancient times, if a man died without a child, it was common for the man’s unmarried brother to marry the widow in order to provide an heir for the deceased.
d. A widow would marry a brother-in-law, and the first son produced in that union was considered the legal descendant of her dead husband.
e. OT law says: 5 “When brothers live on the same property and one of them dies without a son, the wife of the dead man may not marry a stranger outside the family. Her brother-in-law is to take her as his wife, have sexual relations with her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law for her. 6 The first son she bears will carry on the name of the dead brother, so his name will not be blotted out from Israel. (Deut. 25:5-6)
3. One thing is clear in this story and one thing is not clear.
a. What is clear that this was Naomi’s way of trying to get Boaz to marry Ruth.
b. What is not clear is why she should go about it like this.
c. Why didn’t Naomi just have a conversation with Boaz instead of orchestrating this highly suggestive and risky midnight maneuver?
d. Was Naomi indifferent to the possibility that Boaz might drive Ruth away in moral indignation, or that he might give in to the temptation to have sexual relations with her?
e. Did Naomi want that to happen? Or was Naomi so sure of Boaz and Ruth that she knew they would treat each other with perfect purity - that Boaz would be deeply moved by this brash offer of Ruth in marriage and would avoid sexual relations until all was duly made official by the city elders?
f. The author doesn’t come right out and tell us why Naomi chose this sexually tempting strategy to win Boaz for Ruth.
g. There will be a clue later, but for now the writer seems to want us to feel suspense and ambiguity.
4. The long and short of the plan was that Ruth was to do herself up as pretty as she could, then go to Boaz when he was alone and essentially offer herself to him - trusting that he would accept her offer and move ahead with marriage.
a. The putting on of her best clothes was not only for attractiveness, but it was also for warmth - she was going to be out all night on this engagement – the word “clothes” means “cloak” or “mantle” it was the outer garment that also could act as a blanket for warmth.
b. And putting on perfume would enhance her image, as only higher class people would usually be able to afford such an item.
c. But the idea of “meeting on the threshing floor” was pretty loaded - it’s a lot like parking in Lover’s Lane or sneaking into the hayloft - a setting for a romantic encounter.
d. It would have raised a few eyebrows as people heard this story unfold.
e. It was common for prostitutes to work the threshing floors and get paid with grain.
f. Hosea 9:1 says: “You have loved harlot’s earnings on every threshing floor.”
5. “Uncovering a man’s feet”, in this type of setting, was often a sign that you were ready for sexual intimacy.
a. This doesn’t mean that Ruth was prepared to go that far on this encounter, but she was definitely making the statement that she was ready to marry him and be his partner.
b. It was also a gesture of trust - she was willing to make herself vulnerable to him – being open to acceptance or rejection.
c. Before we read on though, we must understand that the original readers would have seen the danger and risk involved in this approach, and how this tension adds suspense to the story.
d. So, we also should feel the tension of this situation and the risk involved in this plan.
E. The story continues and the Bible says: 5 So Ruth said to her, “I will do everything you say.” 6 She went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law had charged her to do. 7 After Boaz ate, drank, and was in good spirits, he went to lie down at the end of the pile of barley, and she came secretly, uncovered his feet, and lay down. (Ruth 3:5-7)
1. So Ruth proceeded with the plan and ended up waiting on the threshing floor for Boaz to finish his dinner.
2. The fact that he left the dinner “in good spirits” can mean that he’d enjoyed some good wine, but it can also mean he was feeling satisfied inside about how everything was going.
a. The harvest was in, the returns were good, and there was this new young woman in the field that he’d really taken a shining too.
b. We’ve all been there when things were going well, or when we had just enjoyed a good meal, or when there was the excitement of a budding romance.
3. So, Boaz ended up sleeping at the end of a pile of barley while Ruth waited in the place where she was hiding.
a. Why did Boaz go to sleep there on the threshing floor? Perhaps because it was late and he needed to be back to work early in the morning, or perhaps he slept there to guard the harvest from robbers.
b. But then as soon as everyone was gone and Boaz began to snore, Ruth quietly approached him, raised the blanket off his feet and laid down at his feet.
4. The Bible doesn’t say that Ruth pulled the blanket over herself, and she probably hadn’t, since in so many words, that’s what she asked Boaz to do once he woke up and noticed her.
a. So there they lay a man with a woman at his feet, and if anyone had happened by, they would have seen nothing but two figures sleeping on the floor.
b. As I mentioned, it wasn’t unusual to sleep by the harvest to guard against theft by bandits.
c. And as I mentioned earlier, Ruth was dressed for warmth, so she was bundled up in her cloak and was likely unrecognizable as a woman in the darkness and from a distance.
F. The story continues: 8 At midnight, Boaz was startled, turned over, and there lying at his feet was a woman! 9 So he asked, “Who are you?” (Ruth 3:8-9a)
1. Something startled Boaz out of his sleep.
2. It might have been the movement of Ruth at his feet, or it might have been the cool air on his uncovered feet, but whatever it was, Boaz woke up and noticed a woman lying at his feet.
3. So, Boaz asked, “Who are you?”
a. It is not surprising that Boaz didn’t recognize that it was Ruth, it was probably dark, and you know how startled and disoriented a person can be when awoken out of a deep sleep.
b. Can you imagine how fast Ruth’s pulse must have been racing when Boaz awoke and asked that question?
G. But Ruth was ready to respond, and interestingly enough, the text doesn’t say that Naomi rehearsed a speech with her.
1. The Bible says that Ruth said: “I am Ruth, your servant. Take me under your wing, for you are a family redeemer.” (Ruth 3:9b) Other translations say, “spread your garment over me.”
2. I like that the CSB chose to translate the phrase “take me under your wing” the way it did, because it picks up on the idea communicated back in chapter 2, when Boaz commended Ruth for putting herself under God’s wing.
3. In Hebrew the word for “skirt,” “wing,” or “corner of a garment” are the same word.
a. The RSV translated the phrase as: “spread your skirt over your maidservant.” (RSV)
b. The 1984 NIV says, “spread the corner of your garment over me.”
c. The Living Bible says, “make me your wife according to God’s law” – how’s that for a paraphrase?
4. The invitation to “take me under your wing” or “spread your garment over me” was a common invitation to marriage from brides-to-be to their suitors.
5. And Ruth was smart enough to add a reason for Boaz to accept her proposal - the fact that he was a kinsmen redeemer.
6. But I imagine that there had to have been an immense silence for a moment while Boaz allowed himself to come to grips with the fact that this amazing young woman was actually interested in becoming his wife.
H. The Bible records Boaz’s response to Ruth’s proposal: 10 Then he said, “May the Lord bless you, my daughter. You have shown more kindness now than before, because you have not pursued younger men, whether rich or poor. 11 Now don’t be afraid, my daughter. I will do for you whatever you say, since all the people in my town know that you are a woman of noble character. (3:10-11)
1. Boaz began by requesting that the Lord bless Ruth.
a. Rather than rejecting Ruth’s request, or ridiculing her for making such a bold proposal, or rebuking her for disturbing his sleep, he instead called on the Lord to do the best possible for Ruth. “Bless her, Lord, show her favor!”
b. By blessing her, Boaz affirmed her value both to the Lord and to himself.
2. Then Boaz commended her for showing kindness to him.
a. When he said that she has “shown more kindness now than before,” he was saying that the kindness she was now showing by choosing him rather than a younger man, was even greater kindness than she had shown her mother-in-law when she left her home and family to return to Bethlehem with Naomi.
b. This word “kindness” is an important Old Testament word that is representative of God’s actions toward the nation of Israel.
c. The word is “hesed” and it stands for a loyal and committed love, and grace and favor.
d. The fact that Boaz refers to her twice as his daughter, suggests the age gap between them.
3. The next thing Boaz did was reassure Ruth that he would most certainly and happily be her husband, because he and everyone else knew she was a woman of noble character.
a. He wanted her to know that she was indeed “a keeper” and that she had nothing to fear.
I. But there was one minor problem that had to be ironed out.
1. The Bible says that Boaz explained: 12 “Yes, it is true that I am a family redeemer, but there is a redeemer closer than I am. 13 Stay here tonight, and in the morning, if he wants to redeem you, that’s good. Let him redeem you. But if he doesn’t want to redeem you, as the Lord lives, I will. Now lie down until morning.” (Ruth 3:12-13)
2. Don’t you just love Boaz? He comes across as such a generous and faultless man who has such amazing self-control.
a. He very much wants to marry this amazing young woman, but there is another relative who is a closer relative than he is and should have the first option to marry her.
b. The fact that Boaz was aware of this reality says that he had been thinking about marrying Ruth.
c. He knew that he was in line as a kinsman redeemer, but he knew he was second in line.
d. Being aware of his status, he was waiting for a sign from Ruth that she was interested in him over and above others.
e. But you talk about integrity - if he was to push ahead and marry Ruth without consulting the other man, then he would be breaking the law.
f. If they married and the other man made a fuss, the marriage could be cancelled and worse.
g. Boaz would not jeopardize their future by getting off to a bad start, so he encouraged her to be patient.
3. Boaz was hoping and trusting that God would provide a way for him to approach the other kinsman redeemer peaceably and end up being able to marry Ruth.
a. If, however, the other relative claimed his right, then that man would marry Ruth and Boaz would lose her forever.
b. That was the chance they would have to take to make sure that things were done right.
4. Boaz and Ruth had confirmed their love for each other and their desire to marry, but the outcome was not assured by any means.
a. They stayed there together that night on the threshing floor, but there is nothing in the text to suggest that they did anything but sleep closely to each other.
b. To have been involved with each other would have been wrong in God’s sight and would have jeopardized both of their futures.
J. Today’s part of the story concludes like this: 14 So she lay down at his feet until morning but got up while it was still dark. Then Boaz said, “Don’t let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor.” 15 And he told Ruth, “Bring the shawl you’re wearing and hold it out.” When she held it out, he shoveled six measures of barley into her shawl, and she went into the town. 16 She went to her mother-in-law, Naomi, who asked her, “What happened, my daughter?” Then Ruth told her everything the man had done for her. 17 She said, “He gave me these six measures of barley, because he said, ‘Don’t go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.’” 18 Naomi said, “My daughter, wait until you find out how things go, for he won’t rest unless he resolves this today.” (Ruth 3:14-18)
1. And so, the two of them awoke at the earliest light and Boaz gave her a large amount of grain to take home.
2. The gift did two things:
a. First, it sent a signal to Naomi that Ruth’s venture had gone well and that Boaz would pursue redeeming her daughter-in-law through marriage.
b. Second, it was also a defense to guard Ruth in case she came across anyone on her walk home. Carrying a load of grain would lead people to think that she had been working late, fell asleep in the fields, and was just now coming home.
3. When Ruth got home, she gave the report to Naomi and it was easily the best news Naomi had heard in a long, long time.
a. God’s favor was returning to her again, and she was so thankful.
b. Naomi likely already knew about the other kinsman redeemer and that was likely the reason she had come up with the plan for the very unusual, yet decent proposal.
c. But now having seen God’s hand in all of this, Naomi was confident that all would go well.
d. Tune in next week, same time, same channel, and see how it all turns out.
K. So, what lessons can we learn from today’s part of the story that we can apply to our own lives?
1. Let me quickly suggest two lessons.
2. First, I want to suggest that God wants us to step out in faith even though it involves some risk.
a. The old saying is true “Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.”
b. We can’t expect to achieve anything if we never take any risks.
c. Naomi took a risk concocting a plan, and Ruth took a risk putting the plan into motion, but thankfully, Boaz was pleased with the decent proposal.
d. But none of it was guaranteed – it could all have crashed and burned.
e. And such is the case with anything we step out in faith and try – whether it’s deciding to go to college or try a new job, or start a new friendship, or get involved in ministry.
f. It all requires faith and involves risks.
g. But another old saying is true – “If you want to walk on the water, you have to get out of the boat.”
h. God is pleased when His people live by faith and don’t shrink back.
i. So, what new venture is God calling you to take a step of faith in?
3. Second, I want to suggest that we always try to do the right thing, in the right way.
a. What I mean by that is that God wants us to strive to live lives of righteousness and integrity.
b. Boaz found himself in a tempting and potentially compromising situation.
c. Here was a young woman that he was very attracted to, and she was sending the signal that she was very interested in him.
d. They were together in the middle of the night and no one else was around.
e. But Boaz was a man of integrity and was committed to purity, and so he exercised self-control and did nothing that would bring shame on himself or on Ruth, or on his God.
f. And then, on top of all that, even though he wanted to marry Ruth and she wanted to marry him, the law of God said that someone else should be given the first opportunity to marry Ruth.
g. How easy it would have been for him to try to skirt the law or find a loop hole, but he wouldn’t.
h. The proverbs tells us to take only the paths that are firm and straight.
i. The world tells us “If it feels good, do it” and “the ends justify the means.”
j. But taking crooked paths and cutting corners will cost us dearly someday.
k. But when we act with righteousness and integrity, and do the right thing in the right way, then we have nothing to fear, and know that God sees and is pleased and will reward.
L. So, let’s follow the examples of Naomi, and Ruth, and Boaz and step out in faith, with righteousness and integrity, and let’s see how God brings blessings and favor to us and to others.
Resources:
• Commentary on Ruth, Harold Shank, Truth for Today Commentary Series
• “Ruth: Strategic Righteousness” Sermon by John Piper
• “A Decent Proposal” Sermon by James Galbraith
