2 Samuel 12 How do you respond when a brother falls?
- Read 2 Samuel 12
This is the sad account of King David when he was confronted by the prophet Nathan after he sinned greatly.
We all know people, perhaps some of them close to us, who have led great lives, who have been great blessings to the people around them, and perhaps to us, who suddenly, for some unexplainable reason, fall from grace. They sin greatly. They do something none of us would have ever believed they were capable of.
Perhaps you have had a personal hero, that you looked up to and admired, who let you down. Perhaps you had a parent who left you, a boss who fired you, or a spiritual leader who discipled you who ended up sinning greatly and let you down.
How does one respond in such a situation? What do you do when a brother falls?
First I’d like to look at a couple of things you don’t do when a brother falls.
I. WHAT YOU DON’T DO WHEN A BROTHER FALLS
1. You don’t emphasize past mistakes.
Had David made mistakes before this? Yes he had.
a) He had pretended to be insane instead of trusting God. In 1 Samuel 17, we find David showing up at a battle, when all of the army of Israel is trembling in their boots, for fear of the giant Goliath. Seeing the giant, this shepherd, this boy, with no military experience or training says, “Who is this godless dog? The Lord has helped me defeat a lion and a bear, and this godless dog will be like one of them.
He didn’t fear the giant. He stood and boldly confronted the enemy of the nation, because of his faith in God. We remember that story.
What many of us don’t remember is when he was hiding in Gath, and he was brought before the king. Did he boldly stand up then? Did he boldly trust the Lord to protect him then? No, he acted like a mental patient. We read in 1 Samuel, “David took this to heart and became very afraid of King Achish of Gath, so he pretended to be insane in their presence. He acted like a madman around them, scribbling on the doors of the city gate and letting saliva run down his beard. “Look! You can see the man is crazy,” Achish said to his servants. “Why did you bring him to me? Do I have such a shortage of crazy people that you brought this one to act crazy around me? Is this one going to come into my house?”
David didn’t act boldly. He acted like a madman to get out of trouble.
b) He tried to move the ark of the covenant in a manner not approved by God, and it cost a man his life.
In 2 Samuel 6, we read about King David attempting to bring the ark of the covenant to Jerusalem. Now, God had earlier commanded that the ark was to be carried on the shoulders of the Levites, but David had it carried on a cart, and when the oxen pulling the cart stumbled, one of the men by the cart stretched out his hand are touched the ark and it cost him his life. Because David had the ark moved in an unapproved manner, a man lost his life.
David did not always get everything right.
Now, when the Lord had Nathan come and confront David about his sin, did the Lord say, “I should have known I couldn’t trust you. I should have known you wouldn’t amount to anything. Look how you’ve failed me in the past”? No He didn’t, and neither should we.
My friends, when you confront someone over a sin or an issue in his life, you address that sin or that issue. You don’t go an list all of the sins and issues in the past and say, “I should have known.” Only ex-girlfriends, or ex-spouses do that foolishness.
When a brother falls, you don’t emphasize past mistakes. Second, when a brother falls, you don’t dismiss the good he has done in the past.
2. You don’t dismiss the good done in the past.
Some of you know, or know of Ravi Zacharias. Ravi Zacharias was an Indian-born, Canadian-American evangelical minister and apologist who founded Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). He was involved in Christian apologetics for a period spanning more than forty years. Zacharias was the author of more than thirty books on Christianity, He also hosted the radio programs Let My People Think and Just Thinking. He belonged to the Christian and Missionary Alliance, the Keswickian Christian denomination in which he was ordained as a minister.
Ravi died on May 19, 2020. After he died, Multiple sources posthumously accused Zacharias of serious sexual misconduct. (a compilation from Wikipedia). An investigation was done, many of the allegations were shown to be true. As a result, the organization he founded changed its name. Then Alliance Church posthumously revoked his ordination. Zondervan and Thomas Nelson, the publishers of his books said they would no longer print his books, and I know of at least 1 library in a large Christian church that removed all of his books from their shelves.
Ok. You messed up big time, so nothing you’ve ever done in the past is worth anything. Nothing you have ever done in the past is worth keeping.
I just got finished reading a book called, “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” by Nabeel Qureshi. It is his account of how Nabeel grew up as a very devout muslim, but how, through research, prayer, and the work of friends and the Holy Spirit, he came to leave the muslim faith and to become a devout Christian.
After getting his MD, and several other degrees, Nabeel, ended up becoming a minister and preaching as part of Ravi Zacharias’ ministry. He shared with Muslims, how he found the truth to be in Jesus Christ, and he taught Christians how to minister to their Muslim friends. You want to tell me that has no merit or no worth, just because the ministry he was a part of was led by a man who ended up falling into a sinful lifestyle?
I sure am glad the Lord didn’t feel that way or we would have no 23rd Psalm. David, you’ve messed up big time, so none of the Psalms I’ve had you write are worth anything anymore.
Solomon, you ended up messing up big time, marrying a bunch of women and following their gods, so the Psalms I had you write, the Song of Solomon, and the book of Ecclesiastes I had you write are not worth anything anymore. I’ll just have to throw them out. No. The Lord had Nathen address the sins David had committed. He did not throw out all of the good David had done before that.
When a brother falls, you don’t emphasize past mistakes. When a brother falls you don’t dismiss the good done in the past. 3rd, when a brother falls, you don’t paint them as completely bad.
3. You don’t paint them as completely bad.
When David sinned, Nathan didn’t say, “David, you can’t do anything right. All you’ve done all your life has been sinful.” No. The Lord didn’t have Nathan do that and neither should we.
Almost a year ago, Drew was recruited by a company. He went to work for that new company. After a while he started seeing that the company didn’t not always do everything for their customers they said they were going to do. Drew had some issues with that because he said it was his word that the customers were taking and he wanted to be a man of his word and wanted the company to do for his customers what they said they would do.
Second, the company promised him a certain salary, with the potential to make significantly more. They never did pay him what they said they would.
At the belated company Christmas party, this past February, Drew’s partner’s wife cussed the owner of the company for the way he was treating Drew. It was about 6 weeks later they fired Drew.
Did the company do what they said they would do for their customers? No. Did they do what they said they would do for Drew? No. Is the company all bad? No, because during his time there Drew made a number of contacts in the industry, and he learned a great deal about the business which allowed him 6 weeks ago, to land a new job in the same industry in a company he likes, that supports the customers like they say they will, and that is paying him more than the company that fired him.
So, was the old company all bad? No. That company gave him the opportunity to learn a new skill, to grow, and to progress.
When a brother falls, when a sister falls, you don’t paint everything they did with a negative brush. You don’t paint them as completely bad.
When Nathan came to David, did he say, “David, you are rotten from the core out. There is no good to be found in you?” No. He limited his criticism to where it was appropriate. He limited his confrontation to where it was needed.
When a brother falls, don’t emphasize his past mistakes. When a brother falls, don’t dismiss the good done in the past. When a brother falls, don’t paint him as completely bad.
Those are a few things you don’t do when a brother falls. At the same time, there are some things which must be done when a brother falls.
II. WHAT MUST BE DONE WHEN A BROTHER FALLS
1. When a brother falls, confront him with the truth.
When David sinned, God sent Nathan to confront David.
Now, I’m not talking about every little nit-picking mess up. For crying out loud, we’d be judging each other all the time if we did that.
James says
> James 3:2 . . . we all stumble in many ways . . .
So we don’t nit-pick one another, but we do confront one another over the big stuff. I’m talking about the big stuff; the life-impacting, the people-damaging, testimony-destroying, church-tainting stuff.
Nathen came to David and said, “You are the man. You have messed up.” David, you have hurt people, and hurt God with what you have done. This must be addressed.
2. When a brother falls, give him the opportunity to come clean.
When Nathan confronted David, what did David say?
- Read 2 Samuel 12:13
David said, “I have sinned.” He didn’t deny it. He said, “I have sinned.”
When a brother falls, don’t go publishing it all over the place. Go to the brother and give him the opportunity to make it right with you and with the Lord.
3. When a brother falls, let there be consequences
- Read 2 Samuel 12:13-18
The Lord told David, because of what you have done, there will be consequences. Your and Bathsheba’s son will die.
David cried, and fasted, and prayed, but there were still consequences to his actions. The Lord allowed what he said to stand.
Did the Lord forgive him? Yes. Nathan said the Lord had, but his son still died. There were still consequences.
When I was young, there was a man in our church who was a deacon, and who taught our Royal Ambassador group in the church. He taught me.
One day it was discovered that he had left his wife and run off with a woman in the community. The deacons got together immediately and removed him as a deacon and as a teacher.
Within a short time he returned to his wife and he returned to the church. Did the Lord forgive him? Yes, but there were consequences. He lost those positions of ministry.
4. When a brother falls, don’t say the Lord can never use him again.
- Read 1 Chronicles 22:1-10
Did David mess up? You had better believe it. Did God judge him and did David suffer consequences because of his actions? Yes. But God did not write him off.
Even though David had messed up, and even though God had already said He would not allow David to build His temple because of all of the blood he had shed, the Lord did not write him off. He allowed him to gather a whole bunch of stuff to be used in the construction of His temple.
My word, in the New Testament, Jesus is called the Son of David.
God didn’t write him off. He confronted him. God allowed him to suffer the consequences of his actions, a dead son and a destroyed family, but God allowed David to gather things to be used in constructing His temple, and he allowed David and Bathsheba’s 2nd son to built the temple.
My friends, people mess up, and we must allow them to suffer the consequences of their actions. There may be things they are no longer allowed to do, but you don’t write them off.
> James 5:19-20 My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.
> Galatians 6:1 Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so that you also won’t be tempted.
When a brother falls confront him with the truth. When a brother falls, give him the opportunity to come clean. When a brother falls, let there be consequences and when a brother falls, don’t write him off, attempt to restore him.
A good lesson for all of us. A biblical lesson, but, I must admit, there is a reason I believe the Lord gave me this particular message at this particular time.
This past Sunday night, after we got back to Drew’s apartment in Denver after spending a couple of days at national parks in Utah, I went on line to read and unwind bit before bed. While I was reading, I came across an article about a report that was released that day, by the Southern Baptist Convention, about some sexual misconduct and cover ups by higher ups within the convention.
I saw the article this past Sunday. The Lord gave me this message last Monday, and this morning I have a few things I would like to share.
This church is a Southern Baptist Church, and as such, there are a few things I would like to address regarding our denomination, our calling, our church and this report this morning.
In the 1700’s and 1800s, as Baptist churches began to spread in America, they began to organize into missionary societies, realizing that they could support missionaries better if they worked together and pooled their resources.
By the 1830’s tension began to mount between northern Baptists and Southern Baptists over the idea of slavery. Among other things, at that time the united denomination disagreed over who could become missionaries. Those in the north said no one who had ever owned slaves, even if they released those slaves could become missionaries. Second, the Baptists in the south complained that all of the Baptist seminaries for training pastors were in the north, making it more difficult for ministers in the south to receive training. Third, the Baptists in the South complained that little to no money from the denomination was being spent to support missionaries in the south. As a result, the Baptist denomination split into what is today the American Baptist and the Southern Baptist denominations.
At the time, southern baptists continued to use Bible materials printed by the Baptists in the north. After the Civil War, the Southern Baptists began printing their own Christian literature and supported their own missionaries.
Over the years, our denomination has grown. We are known for a strong commitment to scripture, as Southern Baptists hold to the inerrancy of scripture. We are committed to evangelism, for as a denomination we believe that there are only 2 possible destinations for a person after death, heaven or hell, and that only those who have a relationship with Jesus Christ will be going to heaven. Third, we have a strong commitment to missions, being the largest Protestant missionary organization in the world, supporting nearly 10,000 missionaries in North America and around the world.
I love the way we do missions. If a person or a couple is appointed as a missionary through the SBC, they are held accountable by the denomination, and they are supported by the denomination. Unlike my brother-in-law, who is an independent with another mission organization, he doesn’t have to worry about his support drying up because those who supported him in the beginning of his ministry have died or gotten so financially strapped they are unable to continue the support they pledged.
In addition, our denomination supports 6 seminaries, and partners with another, the one I attended. We have Baptist colleges we support, including the Baptist College of Florida near Tallahassee. We help plant churches, including this one. Our denomination, sate convention, and local association helped fund this church when we started in 2000, and provided an interest-free loan to help cover part of the expense of purchasing this property. We have over over 2,000 SBC endorsed chaplains, serving in the military and through out the world. I am an SBC endorsed chaplain, serving as a volunteer chaplain with the Seminole County Sheriff’s Department, and I served as a volunteer, on-call chaplain with Fish Hospital for 17 years, which I was able to do only because the SBC said, “Yeah, he’s one of our’s.”
Southern Baptists support college ministries. We have Baptist Children’s Homes, we sent over $ 1,000,000 to help with world hunger last year, and we are very active in disaster relief. 90% of the food served by the Red Cross in this country, is prepared by Southern Baptist disaster relief volunteers, in kitchens bought and manned by Southern Baptists. During the Covid epidemic,
Along the way we have made some mistakes and we have had some issues to address. We are having to address one of those right now.
What does a church do when there is an allegation of sexual misconduct within a church? If there is illegality involved, for instance, claims of abuse of a minor, those are supposed to be reported to law enforcement for investigation.
What does one do when there is not enough evidence to convict, or if a victim refuses to testify, or if the misconduct is between an adult minister and another adult within the church?
Often, the church would fire the minister, or staff person, but there wasn’t much else that could be done.
In most denominations, there is a top down hierarchy. There is a governing board or president, or pope or something at the top, and misconduct could be reported to that person or board, and the guilty person could be removed from the ministry. Our denomination doesn’t work that way.
Southern Baptist churches are held together by what we call, ropes of sand. In other words, the only reason we are a Southern Baptist Church is because we choose to be. We say, “we believe like you do. We like the ministries Southern Baptists have, and we want to be one of you.” There is no one at the top of our denomination who can tell us what we can or cannot do at River of Life Church. They can tell us “You cannot be one of us if you do that” but they are not our bosses. Our denomination is like our government is supposed to be. They work for us and do what we tell them.
So, if a minister or a staff person messes up, there really hasn’t been a place to go so that person could not be a minister anymore.
Well, 2 years ago a Texas newspaper did some investigating and come across some cases where a person, or a minister, had molested some children, or had had an affair, or whatever, and had been allowed to resign by the church they were serving at, and since there was no central place they worked for to report them to, they moved down the road and went to work at another church.
When those reports came out, Southern Baptist delegates got angry. They said, “We will not have this in our denomination. We are not going to let this continue.” So your delegates told our executive committee to hire an outside organization to investigate our denomination. Find out if these accounts we have heard about are true, and if they are, we want them addressed,
The report that was released this past Sunday, the one reported on by most major news organizations around the world, is a report Southern Baptists released about an investigation we paid for on ourselves. It is not all of us trying to cover up for our sins. My word, there are over 47,000 Southern Baptist churches. No, this is a report showing a few in leadership positions in our denomination, trying to cover their own tracks and their own sins. It is a report showing, probably many churches, allowing a person to resign and leave, so that their church would not be embarrassed. But, primarily what it is, is a report showing the majority of Southern Baptists saying, we are going to practice what we preach. We extend grace, but there are consequences to sin and we will not allow this to be swept under the rug.
Changes are being made, and more accountability procedures are being put into place. Some in our denomination’s leadership have already resigned. There will be more changes in the days ahead.
Several things I ask.
1. Don’t judge all in our denomination by the actions of a few. There are over 16,000,000 Southern Baptists in over 47,000 churches. We are not all guilty of either the sin nor the cover up.
2. Don’t dismiss the good because of the bad. Has our denomination made mistakes in the way we have handled some things? Yes. But, there is still a great deal of good being done.
3. Give folks an opportunity to make it right. Leadership has repented. Folks are being replaced. Give us an opportunity to get our house in order.
4. Pray for restoration. There is no perfect church. Ask Paul about that. Most of his letters were seeking to address issues in churches. Churches are made up of fallen people, and denominations are made up of marred churches. Pray the Lord will restore us.
5. Hold our denomination accountable - Years ago, liberalism, largely from Germany, began to make its way into many of our seminaries. Our seminaries began to put out pastors who doubted the Bible, pastors who doubted the virgin birth, and the miracles we find recorded in the Bible. In 1979, folks like you and I, folks from the small churches, and rural communities of our country finally said “Enough. Enough compromising the Bible. Enough doubting the scriptures. Enough already. We want preachers who believe the Bible. We want preachers who still preach that heaven is sweet and hell is hot, and those who don’t know Jesus are going there.
So, that year, the delegates of our denomination elected a president who believed the Bible, and he began appointing boards at our seminaries and colleges and missions organizations that believed that.
Because of God’s grace, the work of the Holy Spirit, and the prayers of people like you, the Lord turned our denomination around.
My friends, I call on you this morning first, examine your own life and make sure you are where you need to be in your walk with the Lord. Second, hold the leaders of our denomination accountable. And third, pray that God will do it again.
- Read 2 Samuel 12:29-31
God said to David, “I’m not done with you. You can still defeat Rabbah and all the Ammonite towns. You can still collect materials for My temple, where I will place My name.”
If God can do that for David, He can do it for us.
