Introduction: Jacob had to deal with bad things as well as good things during his earthly journey. He thought he had received the paternal blessing as well as the birthright but he lost as much, if not more, than he gained because of this. Now Jacob is going to experience a number of “hits”.
1 He endured the loss of his mother’s nurse
Text, Genesis 35:8, KJV: 8 But Deborah, Rebekah's nurse, died, and she was buried beneath Bethel under an oak: and the name of it was called Allonbachuth.
Jacob had just led his household from Shechem or Shalem to Bethel but before they left, they—the entire household—got rid of the idols they worshiped and the earrings which, according to some commentators, could have been shaped to resemble these pagan deities. Once all that was done, Jacob led the way to Bethel and they followed (see Gen. 35:1-7 for the full story).
But here, in or at least near the place God had told Jacob to go, Jacob received a serious blow: his mother’s nurse, Deborah, died. This Deborah might well have been the same nurse who had gone with Rebekah when Rebekah agreed to marry Isaac (Genesis 24:59). If that’s true, then Deborah would have part of Rebekah’s family for many years. Isaac was 40 when he and Rebekah married and 60 when Esau and Jacob were born. Now, it’s many years later and Isaac is still alive but Rebekah may not be at this moment. Of note, it’s never specified why Deborah had left Isaac’s land and journeyed to find Jacob. The cause of her death, also, is not mentioned unless she died of natural causes.
Still another thing left unmentioned is what Jacob might have been thinking at this time. Had he known Deborah during his growing-up days? What kind of impact or influence might Deborah have had on the boys? And what kind of emotions did Jacob feel as he saw Deborah’s body placed beneath an oak tree? We can guess indirectly at some of what happened, as the compound word “allon bachuth” means “oak of weeping” in Hebrew per Strong’s concordance (https://biblehub.com/hebrew/439.htm)
How long they stayed near Bethel is not known, but they left not long after Deborah had died. This loss had to hurt Jacob, but sure enough, Jacob was about to encounter another loss of someone he loved very soon.
2 He endured the loss of his wife, Rachel
Text, Genesis 35:16-21, KJV: 16 And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour. 17 And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the midwife said unto her, Fear not; thou shalt have this son also. 18 And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name Benoni: but his father called him Benjamin. 19 And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem. 20 And Jacob set a pillar upon her grave: that is the pillar of Rachel's grave unto this day. 21 And Israel journeyed, and spread his tent beyond the tower of Edar.
Rachel was Jacob’s favorite wife. He seemed to fall in love with her at first sight and agreed to serve Rachel’s father, Laban, for seven years in exchange for Rachel. There’s more to the story of Jacob and Rachel, found in Genesis 29.
But Rachel, even though she was beautiful, was barren, meaning she did not have any children. In the cultures of the times, children were seen as a blessing; not having them meant the woman (and, by extension, the family) was not being blessed. Further, Rachel was jealous because Leah, her sister, had given birth to at least seven children! There’s a saying, “you always want what you don’t have” and that certainly was the case here.
Eventually, Rachel did bear a son, Joseph, who became Jacob’s favorite. Still, Rachel wasn’t satisfied: she wanted more children! In fact, the name “Joseph” comes from a word or phrase meaning “add to me” or “shall add”. An online interlinear Hebrew text shows there is a difference of just one letter between the name “Joseph” and the verb “shall add” as seen here: (https://biblehub.com/interlinear/genesis/30-24.htm)!
After Joseph was born, Rachel was once again able to conceive a child. Note that there is no mention of prayer, or Jacob, just simple narrative that Rachel was traveling along with Jacob and the others in a generally southern direction from Bethel. They’re heading to Ephrath, which may be another name for Bethlehem (opinions differ) and most likely a stop on the way to where Isaac was living.
Rachel was pregnant with her second child but this time she had “hard labour (sic)” when it came time for this baby to be born. Ironically, many years later, things seemed to be different: when Israel was in Egypt, the midwives reported to Pharaoh that Hebrew women gave birth to their babies before the midwives even arrived. Perhaps something changed over the years. But this was no help to Rachel. She wanted another child and now the child was about to be born.
Sadly, she never lived long enough to know this child. She died shortly after giving birth to this child, whom she named “Ben-oni” or Son of my sorrow. Surely Rachel would have known about sorrow: the barren period where she had no children of her own, and the unknown length of time between her first born, Joseph, and this one. There are various other translations giving glimpses of what might have been Rachel’s last look on her baby boy. His face was likely the last thing she saw before her life on this earth ended.
Jacob, though, seemed to be there too, surely rejoicing in the birth of another son, but grieved beyond measure at what was happening to Rachel. He knew about her difficulties in conceiving, the barren periods of her life, and now, with the hard labor, seeing her suffer and die was about all he could handle. Jacob did change the baby’s name, though, from “Ben-Oni” or son of my sorrow to “Benjamin” or “son of my right hand”. The change in the baby’s name seems to have meant more to Jacob than we understand these days. Regardless, Rachel wanted another child, at least, but died with nothing more than a look, maybe a touch, before it was all over. Jacob had now lost his favorite wife and, by the way, he had a motherless child to raise. Whoever stepped up to help Jacob raise Benjamin, nursing and feeding him until he was weaned, is another of the Bible’s unsung heroines.
Realizing Rachel was gone, Jacob took care to give her a decent memorial. Rachel’s body was placed in a grave (dimensions and decorations not specified) and Jacob put a pillar on her grave. This tomb of Rachel’s was a landmark even many years later: when Saul met Samuel, before Saul became king, Samuel told him he would meet three men carrying three different types of items at this location.
Something that could be ironic, or just a glimpse of God’s kindness, involves the tribe who later inherited this territory. This land was given to Benjamin, Rachel’s youngest son. One wonders how many, if any, of her descendants, ever came to remember or think of their distant mother during Israel’s days in the land.
No doubt there was a period of mourning for Rachel but we’re told nothing about this. We do know that after Rachel’s body was laid in the grave, Jacob and the others continued their journey. The next stop, as recorded, was beyond the “tower of Edar”; some think this was a short distance from Bethlehem.
It was definitely a short journey to Jacob’s next loss, though.
3 He endured what Reuben did with Bilhah, Rachel’s maid
Text, Genesis 35:22a, KJV: 22 And it came to pass, when Israel dwelt in that land, that Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father's concubine: and Israel heard it.
This might be the blackest mark against Reuben, or any man who steals or tries to steal the heart of a woman not his own. Bilhah was Rachel’s maid and she had borne two of Jacob’s sons (Reuben’s half-brothers!). Reuben had no business trying to steal Bilhah away from his father, but that didn’t stop him from trying and, later, succeeding. It’s not disclosed if this was a “spur of the moment” event, or if Reuben had tried to woo Bilhah behind Jacob’s back, or any other reason. The one thing that is certain is that this was wrong.
Sin never stays covered for long, and Jacob “heard” about it. He took no action at this time against Reuben or Bilhah, apparently, but Bilhah is never mentioned again except as the mother of Dan and Naphtali. Reuben is mentioned in a few other passages, but Jacob never seemed to trust Reuben again (compare the reaction of Jacob to Reuben’s and Judah’s offers to protect Benjamin when they had to buy food many years later Gen. 42:35-38 and 43:8-10).
And Jacob “lowered the boom”, so to speak, on Reuben when Jacob gave his blessing/prophecy for each of his sons (Gen. 49). John Phillips, in one of his books, noted how this sin had never been made right and Reuben had lived under this burden for many years.
Reuben may have achieved something, but he lost more, and as a result, Jacob lost all respect for his oldest son.
What a lesson for us: sometimes, only one sin can be enough to cause the Lord to discipline any child of His severely.
Jacob endured this loss silently, it seemed, but another severe loss was not too far away.
4 He endured the loss of his father, Isaac
Text, Genesis 35:27-29, KJV: 27 And Jacob came unto Isaac his father unto Mamre, unto the city of Arbah, which is Hebron, where Abraham and Isaac sojourned. 28 And the days of Isaac were an hundred and fourscore years. 29 And Isaac gave up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people, being old and full of days: and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.
Jacob had endured any number of problems and losses during his time on this earth. Some of these, he had nothing to do with, but he still received the blows or effects anyway. Even so, none of these would be as bad as seeing his father pass away.
Isaac was 60 years old when Esau and Jacob were born and this family spent quite a bit of time together, it seemed. But now, Isaac was very old and didn’t have too much time before he too completed his earthly journey.
We’re not told how long Jacob was able to renew his relationship with Isaac but surely Isaac would have enjoyed seeing his grandchildren and, possible, great-grandchildren. Another thing we’re not told is Jacob’s reaction to Isaac’s death, except he and Esau reunited to give Isaac a burial in the same site as Abraham and Sarah, the cave of Machpelah (Gen 49:30-31).
Admittedly, some of these losses would have affected Jacob more than others. But no matter what happened, Jacob endured and never gave up his faith in God. When you or I face trials, tests, or even loss, remember that God is with us, even as He was with Jacob.
Our Lord never failed Jacob, and He’ll never fail us, no matter what we might suffer as a loss.
Scripture quotations taken from the King James Version of the Bible (KJV).
