LIGHT DISPELS DARKNESS:
Ruth 3: 2 "Now is not Boaz our kinsman, with whose maids you were? Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight. 3 "Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor..”
We had to travel around two hours in the public bus to reach the meeting venue which was a remote village. We did not anticipate severe mosquito bites which was actually pricking my legs all through the journey, the crowd was jam-packed and I was unable to even shake my legs. When we finally reached the village it was pitch dark around 8 pm, no street lights, as we stood there tired, exhausted and depleted of all energy, we found 2 church members standing at the bus stop. One of them gave his bike to us and told us to follow them, it was eerie to ride in a new place with no lights. Faithfully my husband followed the bike and we reached the church venue.
The church was abuzz with activity with church members getting the church ready for the next day prayer meetings. We entered the house of the pastor which was very tiny with two rooms, after dinner we were made to sleep in one room while the pastor, his wife and his two small girls slept in the other room. There was another great challenge, if I wanted to use the toilet, I have to go outside the house and walk in the dark to the far end of the corner. Very early the next day, my husband and I woke up to pray and found the pastor and his family already at work, cooking food for the convention meeting. As sunrise was slowly dispelling the darkness of the night, the pastor invited us to come out for coffee. His two little girls woke up and wished us ‘praise the Lord’ cheerfully. When we stepped out of his small house, what we saw was sheer DELIGHT! His small house was built in the midst of a vast acre of land with mountains all around, enormous number of trees and garden. We saw rabbits running around, birds, chicks, turkeys , puppies and whole lot of other lovely things that made the place look like a little heaven.
Since we were very tired the previous night when we arrived and since it was already too late, the pastor took us inside to rest immediately after food. We were served coffee in the garden as we sat in the midst of huge trees, we could see the Hands of God giving us a great treat. Actually since my husband and I were working very hard in the ministry, this break was planned by God for us, the pastor’s family refused to send us on the same day, he took our clothes for washing and extended our stay and the meetings. Friend, through this experience of my mine, I would like to tell you that God is working for you in the dark. When Ruth travelled to the house of Boaz in the dark, imagine the pain and loneliness that she might have felt, little did she know that he was going to become her care taker and husband. It’s always darkest before dawn.
Never lose hope.
Walking in the dark!
Isaiah 50:10,11 " Who among you fears the LORD? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness And has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD And rely upon his God. Look, all you who kindle a fire, Who encircle yourselves with sparks: Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled --- This you shall have from My hand: You shall lie down in torment.”
God spoke the above scripture to me when I was going through a severe dark period in our ministry and my own personal life. An avalanche of problems and pain gushed on me and threatened to topple me. But I thank God, if not for my severe fasting and hard prayers, I would have gone crazy!
I write this particular portion, after walking almost ten years with Him. Just as I was blissfully dreaming of new openings for my ministry, God was closing almost all the present doors of ministry. The “My Delight” daily devotional magazine which was my passion was slowly dwindling. Freshly printed books, the sheen still on them, were stacked in bundles in the corner of the Printer’s office. We did not have funds to take delivery of them. Days were turning to weeks, yet we could see no light. The pain in my heart knew no bounds!
The financial crisis that we were facing was threatening to throttle us like never before. Our current bill, rent bill and maintenance bills were outstanding, it was the most embarrassing time in my ministry. I felt a total wreck. I wondered what would I answer my kids if the power was cut by the electricity board officials! How could I face them! This was truly a dark period in our life. I could truly relate to the miseries of Job when he
says, “….He has set darkness in my paths (Job 19:8) However, on the last date of
payment, God enabled us to make the payment. Praise God!
The ordeal was not over, though, there were other payments glaring daggers at us. There were severe riots in the city during that time and on a particular day, we had come to an absolute empty stage. Not a grain in the rice bag, no oil, no petrol, no milk and not a penny in the wallet. Nothing! My little son started crying and wanted some good food because we had been managing for along time with bare minimum. Now, even that was not there. The adults can certainly manage, but what about the kid? I panicked! My husband said that he would draw Rs.100/- from the minimum balance amount of the bank and get some food. He walked to the bank because there was no petrol in the bike, after an hour he called me over the phone to say that all the banks and shops were closed because of the problems. He said that he would try using his debit card and purchase something from the supermarket in our colony which was fortunately opened. When he had taken all the items and about to submit his card, five thugs bombarded into the shop and forced them to close the shutters immediately. My husband called me to say that with all doors of opportunity closed, he was returning home with an empty bag. I kept the receiver down, buried my face in my hands and sobbed bitterly. I had never felt so broken in my life. What would I tell my son, daughter and the maid! I gathered myself after some time and felt the need to do something. I humbled myself to call the opposite house hindu lady and explained about the ATMs being closed and asked if she could give us some money. She was at that time out on the roads hunting for an ATM and she said, “Bala, I actually wanted to ask you for some money because I have no money and now all the banks are closed, sorry.” I just sat in my chair staring at the walls. After half-hour, I received a call. When I picked up the phone, it was the same sweet, pleasant voice of that hindu lady, she said, “Bala, I just managed to spot an ATM, I have withdrawn some money, would Rs.2000/- be enough?” Ah, the voice was like fresh water gushing on a barren, broken land! I said, thousand rupees would do and I thanked her. God did not rush to wipe out all the problems in one go, He came in His own time to solve one problem at a time. I did have a giant faith of trusting God and none. I was flexing my faith muscles to live like George Muller. However, I guess I was getting swollen-headed and proud about my faith. God wanted to nip that out, hence, He allowed me to seek the help of my neighbor. I learnt huge lessons on humility while traversing a pitch dark path of ‘nothingness.’
Well, does it mean God had forsaken me? Never! During those dark moments, Holy Spirit brought scriptures and incidents from the Bible to my memory. One such incidence is Joseph being falsely accused and thrown into the prison. Joseph who feared God, loved God and obeyed Him was mercilessly charged with ’attempted rape’ and thrown into prison by the very man who showed great favor for Joseph. Genesis 39:20 says, ‘Then Joseph's master took him and put him into the prison, a place where the king's prisoners were confined. And he was there in the prison.” Joseph was humiliated, disgraced and put to shame in front of all who worked at Potiphar’s house. Now, how can we explain this? Well, we have the answer in the next scripture, verse 21says, “But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.”
I am speaking right now to a brother or sister reading this book, we need to go through every path in our life, rough and tough, holding on to the Hand of our Creator, rather than try to skip and do a long jump or high jump.It can happen even to a church or ministry, when the spirit that once united a people has been broken by selfishness or petty concerns or may be there is barrenness in the ministry. But listen, we cannot immediately turn around the situation, we need to wait on God to deliver us from this dark period. There are treasures hidden in the dark! God says, “I will give you the treasures of darkness And hidden riches of secret places, That you may know that I, the LORD, Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel. “(Isaiah 45:3)
I found profound meaning in the scripture, Isaiah 50:10,11,“Who walks in darkness And has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD…” There would come a time in our life when we would be engulfed in utter darkness with no ray of light and in that path, God wants us to trust Him. Because we fear the Lord, love Him and obey Him, does not mean we are exempted from sufferings, but watch this, when there is no light, we are asked to trust in His name. Awesome! Proverbs 18:10 “The name of the LORD is a strong tower; The righteous run to it and are safe.” Yes, though He did not dispel the darkness from our path at one go, yet He kept us from stumbling and falling. Though the path is eerie, yet we learn great lessons of faith in the dark. Warren Wiersbe has said, “We live by promises, not by explanations.”
After ten years in the ministry, we found ourselves with an empty bank balance, two grown up kids, a new city with a new environment, language problem and no ministry openings. To top it all, I was jeered and mocked at all sides! I cried on the inside, “GOD, HELP ME!” I loved Him much, I knew He is my only anchor, hence in the midst of the storm, I spent much time with Him. I would spend an average of five hours in prayer and would bury myself deep all day into His Word. I cried out to God like David in anguish “I am afflicted very much; Revive me, O LORD, according to Your word.” (Psalm 119:107)
God brings tough times into our lives not only to bring us back to him, but to bring us back to ourselves. To get us to see the world the way He sees it. To get us to be more considerate and compassionate towards people. So, if the light has been removed from the situations of your life, then God in his wisdom has allowed you to be in the darkness. If God is the One who has allowed darkness to come your way, then do not be foolish to light your own fire. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy will come in the morning” (Ps. 30:5).
As a kid I remember visiting my grandparents during my holidays, who lived in Kodaikanal, a lovely town situated on a hill, where my mother was born and brought up. The town is simply fascinating with mountains all around, thick foliage of trees and the aroma of the Eucalyptus trees captivates a person. The hill folks are hospitable and simple, for those with a yen for trekking, there are umpteen trekking opportunities there.
One has to travel a long distance in order to reach the town to purchase necessary commodities for the household, I remember tagging along with my grandpa to the town. At times, thick fog would cloud the way and we would not be able to see the path clearly, it’s quite an eerie journey with steep curves and bends. But my grandpa would walk swiftly and confidently because he was used to the path and he knew the way. As a kid I would hold his hand and walk along with him without fear. I don’t have to know the way or see the path, because grandpa knows it and all I have to do is to stay close and walk along with him. Now after several years, sometimes life gets eerie too, there are times that I don’t know where to turn and my vision is blurred. I am glad that I have the strong Hand of Jesus like my dear grandpa and I can just stay close with Him and tag along wherever He takes me. I don’t have to know the way, it is enough that He knows the way! He is the way!
I would like to quote a few lines from the book “Perfect Trust” authored by Charles Swindoll: “God says to us, “Don’t run! Don’t escape! Don’t give up! Let your faith run its course, that you might know how good I can be.”
