Why Should I Love Those Who Badmouth, Abuse, or Criticize Me?
Quote: Love overlooks a fault. (I Cor. 13:4-7)
We are living at time when the rhetoric of debate, criticism and verbal abuse is rising to a fever pitch. Many people think that criticisms are a normal part of American life with the proliferation of talk radio, Bill O’Reilly and Phil Donahue interview shows. There is a huge need for polite, discrete and loving speech to be brought back into our relationships. But how do we respond when we are criticized?
The following are some of the Biblical solutions for responding to people who hate, abuse and criticize you.
1. Our goal is to love others even as Jesus Christ loved men who had Him crucified. John wrote, "We love because He first loved us." (I Jn 5: 19) An agape love gives unconditionally without worrying about if the kindness with be reciprocated.
2. Be assured that the Lord will deliver you from whatever unjust criticisms you are facing. David wrote, "And the Lord will help them and deliver them: He will deliver them from the wicked, and save them because they trust in Him." (Psa. 37:40)
3. The Lord is far better at dealing with your accusers in His own way and in His own time. Job wrote, "They that hate you will be clothed with shame; and the dwelling place of the wicked will come to nothing." (Job 8:22) Moses wrote, "The Lord shall cause your enemies that rise up against you to be smitten before your face. They will come out against you one way and flee before you in seven ways." (Deut. 28 :7) Help people remember that it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
4. Be confident that God will fight the battles for the righteous, loving and pure in heart. Moses wrote, "For the Lord your God is He that goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies." (Deut. 20:4)
Quote: Know that circumstances do not have to be perfect before you can be joyful in the Lord.
Quote: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome, overpower and overshadow evil with good." (Rom. 12:21)
Quote: Do not overemphasize hardships but rejoice that you can identify with Christ in your sufferings.
Quote: "You should be exceedingly glad when you encounter various trials, though now for a little while you may be distressed by trials and suffere temptations. So that the genuineness of your faith may be tested, your faith, which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. This proving your faith is intended to redound to your praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." (2 Pet. 1:6,7)
5. Even when it appears that your opponents have gotten the better of you, be assured God’s deliverance is on the way. Job wrote, "In famine, he will redeem you from death: and in war from the power of the sword." (Job 5:20) David wrote, With God we will gain the victory, and He will defeat our enemies." (Psa 107)
6. Be calm in your reactions knowing that the Lord will not let anything harm you if you prove zealous for what is good." Isaiah wrote, "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; and every tongue that will rise against you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their righteousness is from me, says the Lord." (Isa. 54: 17) Do not over react to provocation.
Quote: Do not be overly critical of your accusers. Do not overstate the difficulties you are facing knowing that many others are facing more adverse situations around the world.
Quote: "No temptation that has taken you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful who will not let you be tempted beyond what you are able. But with the temptation will also provide a way of escape so that you will be able to bear it." (I Cor. 10:13)
Quote:"Bless those who persecute you (who are cruel in their attitude toward you); bless and do not curse." (Rom. 12:14) The best way to pray for others is to pray for God’s best blessings upon their life and to love them from a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith. (2 Tim. 1:5)
7. Consistently ask the Lord for the ability to be delivered so that you can serve Him without fear. Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied, "That He would grant to us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve Him without fear." (Luke 1 :74)
8. Move in the paths that demonstrate your confidence in God’s ability to preserve good conditions for His righteous servants. David wrote, "For rod of the wicked will not rest on the lot of the righteous; lest the righteous put forth their hands to do iniquity." (Psa. 125:3)
9. Be prepared for times of criticism and abuse, but know that God will give you an extra measure of His gracious peace and strength. David wrote, "For in the time of trouble He will hide me in the pavilion. And now will my head be lifted up above my enemies round about me: I will sing praises to the Lord.
Quote: Be like teflon and allow the greasy accusations of evil to just roll of of you and not stick.
Quote: Take up the shield of faith so that you can quench the fiery darts of the wicked one. (Eph. 6:10-18)
10. Believe that the Lord can even grant good relationships with opponents. Solomon wrote, "When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him." (Prov. 16:7)
Illustration:Love overlooks a fault. Isaac instructed his servants to dig new wells to benefit his enemies.
If your enemy is thirsty give him something to drink. If he is hungry feed him. For in doing so you will melt him into repentance and friendship. If you have not won a friend you will make his or her malice more inexcusable. It will bring notice to others that they lack any moral high ground or credibility for what they are saying.
Quote: Those who revenge are the conquered and those that forgive are the conquerors.
11. If you keep God’s commandments, the Lord will deal firmly with your opposers. David wrote, "His heart is established, he will not be afraid, until he sees his desire upon His enemies." (Psa. 112:8)
12. Teach others how God will avenge those who cry for His deliverance. Jesus said, "And shall not God avenge His own elect, which cry day and night to Him, though He patiently bear with them?" (Luke 18 :7)
13. Hate the sin of abuse while continuing to love the sinners who perpetrate it. David wrote, "You that love the Lord hate evil: He preserves the souls of His saints; He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked."
14. By trusting in the Lord through private and public prayers you will be assured of His deliverance. Jeremiah wrote, "But I will deliver you in the day, says the Lord: and you will not be given into the hand of the men of who you are afraid because you have put your trust in Me says the Lord. (Jer. 39: 17,18)
15. Fear God and you will not have any need to fear men. Samuel wrote, "But the Lord your God you will fear; and He will deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies." (2 Kings 17:39)
16. Do not panic when you encounter set backs since God is your confidence. Solomon wrote, "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked when it comes. For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being taken." (Proverbs 3:25,26)
17. Wait for the Lord to demonstrate His mighty power on your behalf. Isaiah promised, "Behold, all they that were incensed against you will be ashamed and confounded: they will be as nothing." (Isa. 41: 11,12)
18. Follow the courageous example of the apostle Paul who saw the Lord preserve Godly friends who ministered to him at crucial times. Paul wrote, "For I am with you and no man will see on you to hurt you: for I have many people in this city." (Acts 18:10) God always has plenty of Godly people in reserve!
19. Remember that even if intelligent, rich or influential people think they have won a skirmish, God always wins the greater struggles by His supernatural power. The writer of Hebrews wrote, "So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper and I will not fear what man will do to me." (Heb. 13:6)
Quote: The horse is prepared for the day of the battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord. (Prov. 21:31)
Conclusion:
How to turn a disagreement into a feud:
1. Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
2. If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
3. Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
4. With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
5. Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
6. Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
7. If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don’t get too many options on the table.
8. Pass the buck! If you are about to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.
