When God created the female, she was designed to be a completer, Gen. 2:18-25. Together with her husband, they became one flesh or a complete person. Eve was created to furnish that which was lacking in Adam. Adam filled out what was lacking in Eve. Men and women still fill those vital roles to some degree today. Proverbs 18:22 implies that He who finds a good wife obtains favor from the Lord. The woman described in Proverbs 31 is trustworthy, capable, intelligent, diligent, generous, and kind, bringing her husband goodness and blessings her whole life long.
A strong woman first seeks God with her whole heart and soul. She seeks His strength which is holy and righteous and seeks out wisdom and understanding. She immerses herself in Jesus and knows who she is through His eyes. When God said women are “weaker vessel”, It is by design we are to be protected by our husbands as delicate and valuable. In fact, it’s our very value that is considered when men are instructed how to live with their wives.
Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.1 Peter 3:7.
A noble woman’s value is compared with jewels. An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Proverbs 31:10.
The woman was not created to serve the man, but to serve WITH the man. Without the woman, the man was only half the story. God stated that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Adam by himself was incomplete. This is why God created Eve as a “help meet”: to complete Adam, to provide society for him, and to enable him to have a family. A godly wife spends less time in front of the mirror than in sharing her goods with the poor and needy because she is selfless and benevolent (proverbs 31:20,30).
Gods laws applies for both men and women (Galatians 3:28)
The Law was given to both men and women – Deut. 1:1.
· The Law protected both men and women – Ex. 21:28-32.
· Women had the right to inherit property – Num. 36:-12.
· Men and women were to participate in the religious feasts – Ex. 12:3; Deut. 16:9-15.
· The Nazarite vow was open to both men and women – Num. 6:2.
· Women were involved in spiritual service – Ex. 38:18; Neh. 7:67.
· God often dealt directly with women – Eve, Gen. 3:13; Hagar, Gen. 16:7-13; Samson’s mothers, Jud. 13:3.
Women are equal with men and both are as important in God’s kingdom:
We are all one in Christ Jesus in regarding to salvation
We are all members of one body with each member being equally essential(1 corin 12)
Parable of the talents – We all receive the same reward(Matt.25)
Genesis 1:27-28 – God created both male and female in his image, he blessed them, and told “them” to subdue the earth and rule over every living thing. He gave equal authority and responsibility to both male and female.
Jesus demonstrated only the highest regard for women, in both his life and teaching. Jesus valued their fellowship, prayers, service, financial support, testimony and witness. He honored women, taught women, and ministered to women in thoughtful ways.
Mary Magdalene, Joanna and Susanna were three of Jesus’s female disciples according to Luke 8:1-3:
“After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out; Joanna the wife of Chuza, the manager of Herod’s household; Susanna; and many others. These women were helping to support them out of their own means.”
We’re also told that there were 3 women who were the first eyewitnesses to the Resurrection of Christ in Mark 16:1-3:
“When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, bought spices, so that they might come and anoint Him.”
Later, it is the same Mary Magdalene who is commissioned by Jesus as the “Apostle to the Apostles” [because “Apostle” means “sent one” and she was sent by Jesus to testify to his resurrection].
• John 4:1-42 – The account of the woman at the well. The 12 disciples with Jesus were surprised (shocked) to find him talking with a woman. But Jesus gave her his time and respect, and his encounter with her changed her life. She was instrumental in saving her whole town.
• Luke 7:36-50 – Jesus was anointed by a sinful woman (Mary, sister of Martha and Lazarus, John 11:2). The Pharisee (male religious leader) hosting the meal failed to provide the customary kiss, foot washing and anointing with oil for a visiting dignitary. Mary understood the significance of Jesus life and ministry and he honored her in front of the men who treated her with disdain.
• Luke 8:1-3 – Many women also followed Jesus and contributed to his ministry. It was radical for Jesus, considered and called a Rabbi, to allow women to follow him. In that culture, only boys were educated and allowed to follow Rabbis into their manhood. In allowing women to follow him he was sending a strong message that women were, and are worthy and capable of learning and being used in ministry. No mention is made of them first needing to be subject to their husbands. • Luke 13:10-17 – Jesus healed the crippled woman on the Sabbath and accused the Pharisees of treating their animals better than this woman.
• John 11:1-44 – Jesus loved Mary and Martha and Lazarus; note his personal encounters with each woman, offering friendship, compassion and his tears.
• Mark 15:40-41 – Many women were at the cross when Jesus was crucified, while most of his male disciples had left him. It was a woman (Mary) who was the first to see Jesus after his resurrection (Mark 16:9).
Women were not only included, they were honored, revered, appreciated and named.
Lydia of Philippi, a wealthy dealer in purple cloth, hosted a gathering of the saints in her home ( Acts 16:11-15)
Phoebe, Chloe and the mother of Rufus are also named by Paul as being among those women who served as Deacons [Diakanous or “servants”] in the early Church.
For example:
“I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the church [Deacon] which is at Cenchrea” [Romans 16:1]
“For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe’s people, that there are quarrels among you.” [1 Cor. 1:11]And who can forget Junia?
“Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners, who are outstanding among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me.” [Romans 16:7]
We also have Priscilla and her husband Aquila, who are referred to by Paul as “my fellow workers in Christ Jesus” [Rom. 16:3], and always named together but according to custom the more prominent is always named first. Therefore, it’s likely that Priscilla was the stronger teacher among them and so she would have been known for her gifting within the early Church; especially as she was one who instructed Apollos [another early Apostle] about the Holy Spirit.
“and he [Apollos] began to speak out boldly in the synagogue. But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately.” [Acts 18:26]
Jesus then commissions Mary to proclaim his resurrection: "Go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God’" (John 20:11-18 ). Mary obeyed. She returned to Jerusalem to proclaim, "‘I have seen the Lord’; and she told them that he had said these things to her" (v. 18). She was the first preacher of the good news of the resurrection to the same men who had just been at the tomb before Jesus appeared to Mary. In fact in all four gospel accounts Jesus appeared to women and commissioned them to go proclaim his resurrection to his male disciples.
The role of women in the church
1. Teach the younger women (Titus 2;3-4)).
2. She may teach her children (2 Tim 1:5,3:5 – Timothy’s mother and
grandmother – Eunice and Lois).
3. She may teach privately ( Acts 18:26– Aquilla and Priscilla taught Apollos).
4. She may be involved in the great commission (Matt 28:19).
5. She may visit, etc.
6. She may be a keeper of the home, etc.
7. Both men and women to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” ( Ephesians 5:21)
How are they to be treated?
Luke 4:18 – Jesus quoted Isaiah 61 as he began his full time ministry. He came to proclaim freedom for prisoners and release for the oppressed. Victims often describe feeling captive and oppressed in their abusive relationships. Jesus offers freedom.
• Ephesians 5:21-33 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (verse 21). This comes first in this passage and applies to both men and women. The church (men and women) submits to Christ as it says in verse 24. The passage says the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church of which he is the Savior (verse 23), and husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (verse 25).
A husband who is self-sacrificing and motivated by unconditional love to care for and serve his wife is not abusive. Jesus demonstrated his leadership (headship) by washing his disciples’ feet and telling them they should be servants too (John 13). Living life as a servant is offered by Jesus to both men and women equally. Submission is required of both. Wives are told to respect their husbands in verse 33, and husbands are told to respect their wives as it says in I Peter 3:7. Both submission and respect are supposed to be mutual.
• Colossians 3:18-21 – In verse 18 wives are told to submit to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord.” This does not require her to submit to his sin. Verse 19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Fathers are also instructed to not embitter their children (verse 21). These verses describe the responsibility of the husband/father to treat his wife and children in loving ways, without any forms of abuse. With this in place, it is possible for his wife and children to respect and honor him as God designed because he is treating them with respect and honor.
• I Timothy 3:2-3 - A leader must be gentle, not violent; self-controlled, not quarrelsome. A leader in the church must not be abusive.
• I Peter 3:1-7 – How a wife treats her husband could possibly lead him to Christ if he is not a believer. The reference of Sarah calling Abraham her “master” comes from Genesis 18:12. The original Hebrew used there could also be translated “husband.” Wives are also instructed to “do what is right and do not give way to fear.” This indicates that wives do not have to submit to abuse because abuse is wrong, it is sin. Abuse causes fear, and wives do not have to give in to fear and tolerate abuse. Husbands are told to be considerate and respectful toward their wives “so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (verse 7), which is consistent with the Old Testament
The scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world.
Family Violence in the Scripture:
• Genesis 4:1-16 – Cain killed Abel: the first recorded instance of domestic violence. Cain had the mindset of many abusers, believing he could get away with disobedience, angry at the innocent person when it’s his own sin that was the problem, trying to lie his way out of trouble when caught, then portraying himself as a victim to minimize consequences (deny, minimize, blame – all forms of lying).
• I Samuel 25 – Abigail and her mean and wicked (abusive) husband Nabal; his sin endangered many, but she did not submit to him and instead did the righteous thing and saved many lives.
• Psalm 10 – Violent abusers described. God hears and defends the fatherless and oppressed. • Psalm 11:5 – God hates violence. • Psalm 55 – Psalm of abuse; “he violates his covenant” – the abuser is responsible for breaking the covenant by being violent.
• Psalm 72:12-14 – God will rescue victims from oppression and violence.
• Isaiah 1:15-17 – Written to the religious people of the day, it says God doesn’t listen to the prayers of the violent; he tells them to encourage the oppressed, and defend the fatherless and widows.
• Isaiah 58:4, 6-7 – Those who appear religious by fasting and praying, but are also violent, cannot expect their prayers to be heard
. • Isaiah 59 – Violence, lies, injustice, oppression – all sins that separate people (abusers) from God; He does not watch over them or hear their prayers. God himself will bring justice for the victims.
• Malachi 2:13-16 – This passage is written to the religious leaders of the day – all men. They were complaining that God was no longer accepting their offerings or listening to them. They were guilty of mistreating their wives, breaking the marriage covenant. God says to these men, “I hate divorce, and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence” (verse 16). “Himself” in this verse can also be translated “his wife”, which makes sense because God has made them one (verse 15). It is a man’s violence against his wife that breaks faith and breaks the marriage covenant causing divorce. That’s what God hates.
