Today's verses build directly off last weeks, so I'm going to go ahead and start reading from 5:3. Hopefully, as I read them, you'll find yourself thinking, "Hey, I understand these verses."
(Read vs. 3-end).
There are two ways you can live. You can live as children of the light, or you can live as children of the darkness. The question that faces you, every single day, is which of these you will choose.
On the one hand, you can choose to live as children of the darkness. You can do the types of sins that are shameful to even talk about: sexual immorality, moral uncleanness, greed, shameful behavior, foolish talk, and crude joking. If you choose this, there are two things you need to understand. First, these things aren't fitting-- they aren't proper-- for God's holy people. Second, these things will keep you from inheriting God's kingdom. If you are this type of person, you don't get eternal life. So if you choose the life of darkness, you need to understand that there is a very real cost.
Your other option is to walk as children of the light. Your starting point in life is thankfulness. You value what God did for you in Jesus. You know you were dead in your sin, without hope, without God, on the outside of God's family. And God forgave your sins in Jesus, and made peace with you. God brought you into his holy family, to live as holy people. And you understand that if God brought you into his family, to be part of his holy people, you need to live as holy.
So how will you live? Which will you choose?
This brings us to Ephesians 5:15, and the beginning of our passage today.
Therefore, watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of the time,
because the days are evil.
What does it mean to be wise? You can define wisdom this way: living skillfully, in light of what you know to be true.
We can live either as children of the light, or children of the darkness. And we understand that the choice we make has eternal consequences. What is the sensible choice? Which choice will show that you are wise?
Logically, you will walk as children of the light. You will walk carefully, not as unwise but as wise.
Paul then adds this: "making the most of the time."
Each of us has this small window of time on earth. This is it. We don't know how long we have. Usually, when we think about this--or maybe it's just me--we think about lying on our death bed, and hoping we aren't filled with regret. We don't want to look back on our lives, and realize how much of it we wasted. But here, I think Paul is saying something a little different than this.
All of us are walking on a road in life, and this road eventually ends. There are only two possible destinations. One road ends with God's wrath (Ephesians 5:6). The other ends with inheriting God's kingdom (Ephesians 5:5). We understand that we only have so much time on earth. Each of us has an expiration date on earth. Part of what it means to walk wisely, is to understand that you don't have forever. And at the end of that road, whichever you choose, you will be face to face with God.
There's one more little line in this sentence:
Therefore, watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of the time,
because the days are evil.
We are all surrounded by evil. How do we avoid sinning? We don't do it by withdrawing from the world. We don't form separate colonies. The answer is, watch carefully how you walk.
Verse 17:
Because of this do not become foolish,
but understand what the will of the Lord [is],
Paul appeals to the Ephesians as sensible, wise people. Don't become foolish. You know the truth about God, and what he wants, and what he's done for you in Christ. Live wisely, out of that knowledge. Understand what Jesus wants from you.
So often when Christians talk about finding God's will for their lives, they think in terms of who they will marry, or where they'll live, or what job they will do. Do you know what God's will-- or here, actually-- Jesus' will is? Jesus' will is that you live wisely.
And with this, we come to verse 18, which begins a single sentence that goes all the way through verse 24.
and do not be drunk with wine,
but be filled with the Spirit,
(1) speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
(2) singing and (3) praising in your hearts to the Lord,
(4) giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to the God and Father,
(5) being subject to one another in the fear of Christ,
wives to their own husbands as to the Lord,
because a man is head of the wife,
as also Christ [is] head of the church,
he [being] savior of the body,
but as the church is subject to Christ, thus also the wives to the husbands in everything.
The easiest way into understanding this is to go straight nerd, right off the bat. Paul starts this section with 2-- and only 2-- commands. (1) Don't be drunk with wine, but rather, (2) be filled with the Spirit. This is the main idea for the section. "Be filled with the Spirit."
Then, you'll notice there's a long string of indented phrases after that, that begin with "ing" verbs: speaking, singing, praising, giving thanks, being subject." These "ing" verbs are participles. And when participles follow the main verb, they work to help explain the main idea. So these 5 "ing" verbs all explain what it looks like to be filled with the Spirit. They aren't separate commands. They aren't the focus. The focus is on 2 things: (1) don't be drunk with wine, but (2) be filled with the Spirit.
So let's start there. "Don't be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit." One of the things that teachers or speakers do sometimes to help you hear them a certain way is offer you a contrast. Obama used to do this a lot. He'd say, "Some people say, we should do this or that. Some people want you to believe this or that." What Obama was doing was setting this idea out there, so that he could interact with it somehow. "Some people think that health care isn't a right for everyone. But I say, we all deserve to receive the health care we need." Obama starts it that way so that you have a framework for understanding what follows. Jesus used this as well. In Mark 2:17, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
By setting up the contrast, Jesus is forcing his hearers to think about why Jesus came, with a sharpness to the thought you might otherwise miss. Usually, in these contrasts, the less important point is put first, and it is supposed to shape the way you hear the more important second point.
The fancy term for this is point-counterpoint sets. So, returning to Ephesians, Paul here gives us a point-counterpoint set. "Don't be drunk with wine, but be filled with the Spirit." Paul's concern here isn't that the Ephesians are getting drunk. He's trying to give you a framework, a particular perspective, to help you understand what it means to be filled with the Spirit.
So let's start by talking about being drunk with wine. Let's understand the frame. When people are drunk-- when they are filled with wine-- it influences every single part of their lives. You can tell when someone is under the influence. They walk a certain way-- they can't walk in a straight line. They talk a certain way-- everything's slurred, and comes out slow. And they see the world in a certain way-- their field of vision narrows, everything gets blurry. When you are drunk with wine, it influences every single aspect of your life.
Don't be drunk with wine, but instead, be filled with the Spirit. Being filled with the Spirit is a lot like being drunk with wine. When you are filled with the Spirit, it influences every single part of your life. You see the world in a certain way. You see what God wants; you see right and wrong clearly. You walk in a certain way. You walk as children of the light. You walk worthily of your calling. And you talk a certain way-- you don't tell crude jokes, you don't gossip. Instead, you build each other up.
When it comes to be filled with the Spirit, we should have two questions: (1) What does it look like to be filled with the Spirit? (2) How can we be filled with the Spirit?
Let's take these in turn. (1) What does it look like to be filled with the Spirit?
Paul actually tells us here, in some detail, what this looks like. When participles follow the main verb, they explain it. Here, we have 5 participles that explain what the Spirit-filled life looks like.
"Be filled with the Spirit,
(1) speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
(2) singing and (3) praising in your hearts to the Lord,
(4) giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to the God and Father,
(5) being subject to one another in the fear of Christ,
wives to their own husbands as to the Lord,
because a man is head of the wife,
as also Christ [is] head of the church,
he [being] savior of the body,
but as the church is subject to Christ, thus also the wives to the husbands in everything.
It's obvious when people are filled with the Spirit. They speak to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. They find themselves singing and praising in their hearts to Jesus, for what he's done for them. Let's stop there for a minute. You can tell when someone is filled with the Spirit, because they LOVE worshipping God. If you are worshipping on a Sunday morning, and you find your attention wandering, or yourself getting bored, or you keep checking your watch, you're not filled with the Spirit. Something is wrong with you. Your perspective on life is off; you're not starting your life from a thankful heart. This is especially true in the Western church. I've been in churches where people will leave ugly little notes in the offering plates about how long worship is. (clear throat): "To whom it may concern: 20 minutes is far too long to worship God. You have to cut that down. 15 is plenty." Your attitude when you worship reveals whether or not you are filled with the Spirit.
Fourth on the list: Spirit-filled people give thanks, always, for all things, in the name of our Lord Jesus to their God and Father. You can tell when someone is filled with the Spirit, because their starting point in life is gratitude. No matter what happens in life, I thank God for what he's done for me. I was dead, and now I'm alive and part of God's family. I give thanks.
Fifth. Spirit-filled people are subject to one another in fear of Christ. They don't insist on getting their way. They walk with humility, and meekness. They put others first.
If we look at this list, it's easy to tell who is filled with the Spirit. Spirit-filled believers genuinely worship God. They live out of thankfulness for what God has done. They submit to one another, not insisting on getting their way. And wives submit to their husbands.
Okay. So. This brings us to husbands and wives. I think the secret to reading this section rightly, is obeying the words that are addressed to you. Wives, when you are addressed, you obey those words. Husbands, when you are addressed, you obey those words.
So, wives. Paul addresses you first, and this is what he says to you.
"Be filled with the Spirit,
(1) speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
(2) singing and (3) praising in your hearts to the Lord,
(4) giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to the God and Father,
(5) being subject to one another in the fear of Christ,
wives to their own husbands as to the Lord,
because a man is head of the wife,
as also Christ [is] head of the church,
he [being] savior of the body,
but as the church is subject to Christ, thus also the wives to the husbands in everything.
Within the church, all of us are supposed to be subject to each other. This is a sign that we are filled with the Spirit. We live in humility. We don't insist on getting our own way. And we live that way out of our fear--or reverence-- for Jesus.
Wives, your marriage is supposed to mirror the church life. You are supposed to be subject to your husbands, in the same way you are subject to Jesus. Your husband is your head, in the same way Jesus is head of the church. The church is subject to Jesus in everything. We, as a church, don't get to pick and choose which areas we will obey Jesus, and which we won't. Jesus is Lord. Jesus is King. In the same way, wives, you are supposed to be submit to your husbands in everything. You fear, or revere him, the way you do Jesus.
Husbands. These are not your words. Paul isn't talking to you yet. Paul isn't commanding you to rule over your wife. To make her submit to you. To be the head of the house. These words are for your wives. And if you have any brains, you will let her wrestle with these. Don't nudge her. Don't poke her. Don't smile at her. Paul is asking a great deal of your wives here. This is costly. So let her wrestle with it. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, Paul addresses you in Ephesians 5:25. These are your words. These are the ones you have to obey.
Husbands, love the wives,
just as also Christ loved the church,
and gave himself for her,
in order that he may make her holy,
cleansing her with the washing of the water in/by the word,
in order that he may present the glorious church to himself,
not having a spot or wrinkle or anything like this,
but in order that she might be holy and blameless.
Thus also husbands ought to love their own wives
as their own bodies.
The one loving his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but he nourishes and cherishes it,
just as also Christ [does] the church,
because members we are of his body.
Husbands, where in here do you see Paul telling you to be the man of the house? Where do you see Paul telling you to make sure your wife submits to you in everything? To make sure she serves you; make sure she does things your way, on your time? Paul doesn't say this.
You are head of your wife. If you are a simple Bible-believing Christian, there's no way around this. You are. But this doesn't mean what you think. This is not something to gloat about. This is not a position to use for your advantage. Your job is to love your wife, in the exact same way Christ loved the church. There is nothing Jesus didn't do for the church. He gave his entire life for the church, which is his body. Thus, also, in the exact same way, husbands, you ought to love your wives as your own bodies. If you do this, you are loving your own body, because the two of you have become one.
Husbands, your job is to love your wife. You care for her; you cherish her. You treat as if she's part of you-- because she is part of you.
Husbands and wives, if you have a problem with these verses, there are probably two reasons for this. First, you don't trust your spouses to obey their verses. Second, you don't want to obey your verses. We want to live selfishly. When I find myself frustrated with Heidi, you know what I want to do? I want to say, "Heidi. Submit to me in everything, as the church does to Jesus. Obey Paul." But those are not my verses. Those verses are for my wife. And she will either take them seriously, or she won't. But MY verses are to love Heidi, and nourish and cherish her. I'm supposed to give myself for her. My job is to obey my verses. If I don't do this, it means I'm not filled with the Spirit.
Wives, I know you don't want to submit. No one naturally wants to submit. And your husband maybe doesn't love and cherish and nourish you the way you want. He makes this hard for you. Nevertheless, YOUR verses tell you to submit, just as you submit to Jesus. If you don't submit, this shows you aren't filled with the Spirit.
So hear the verses Paul gives you. And hope your spouse does the same. But obey your verses.
And taking a step back. Paul's focus in this whole section is on being filled with the Spirit. This is his main command: "Be filled with the Spirit." If the participles Paul lists are a struggle for you-- if you find worship to be a burden, if you aren't thankful, if you don't submit to each other-- then you aren't filled with the Spirit.
As Baptists, we tend to view being filled with the Spirit with either confusion, or distrust. But we can't ignore this. Paul commands you to be filled with the Spirit, and he gives you a picture of what it looks like.
How can you be filled with the Spirit, if you aren't right now?
Paul assumes that we know the answer. Maybe some of us do. Maybe some of us don't. I didn't even know to ask that question until four years ago.
The answer is found in Luke 11:5-13 (NRSV no reason):
5 And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; 6 for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’ 7 And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ 8 I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.
9 “So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for[e] a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if the child asks for an egg, will give a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit[f] to those who ask him!”
If you want to be filled with the Spirit, you ask your Father in heaven. This is a prayer that God will say "yes" to, eventually. Just be persistent, keep asking (out loud). And you'll know when God answers.
For myself, I'd been reading two books about being filled with the Spirit. The first, by A.W. Tozer, is called, "How to be Filled with the Spirit" (best $4 ever on ebay). And the second, I won't give the name, because it'd be a stumbling block for some of you.
But both books basically said the same thing. Clean up your life. Truly commit to God. And ask. I asked, repeatedly, over a period of a few weeks. I went to bed asking; I woke up asking. I asked all day. Then, one day while I was at work, I felt the Spirit surge through me. Electric, tingling. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. I was filled, for the first time, at the age of 37 (38?). The filling isn't constant. I leak. I drift. I find myself needing to be refilled. But the filling is real. And the filling changes everything in life. I've found myself singing worship songs to God constantly, many of them original (and I'm no musical genius). I'm a far better husband. All the things that Paul says describe the Spirit-filled believer, became a million times easier after being filled.
You know whether or not you are filled. If you're unsure, you're not. There is a lifestyle of power, and partnership (2 Corinthians 13:14) out there for you. There is more. You just have to ask.
So don't be drunkards. Be filled with the Spirit. And learn to let the the Spirit influence every aspect of your life.
Translation:
Ephesians 5:15ff.
Now sexual immorality and all uncleanness or greediness must not be named among you,
just as it is fitting for the holy ones,
and shameful behavior and foolish talk or coarse/crude joking,
which aren't proper,
but rather thanksgiving.
For this you know,
knowing that every sexually immoral or unclean or greedy one, who is an idolater, does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
No one must deceive you with empty words,
for because of these things God's wrath is coming on the sons of disobedience.
Therefore, don't be/become fellow sharers with them,
for you were formerly darkness.
Now you [are] light in the Lord.
As children of light walk,
for the fruit of the light [is] in all goodness and righteousness and truth,
testing/examining what is pleasing to the Lord.
And don't be co-partners in the unfruitful deeds of darkness,
now rather even expose them.
For the things being done in secret by them are shameful even to speak.
Now all things being exposed by the light are made visible.
For everything being made visible is light.
Therefore it says,
"Rise, the sleeper,
and rise from the dead,
and the Messiah/Christ will shine on you.
Therefore, watch carefully how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
making the most of the time,
because the days are evil.
Because of this do not become foolish,
but understand what the will of the Lord [is],
and do not be drunk with wine,
but be filled with the Spirit,
speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and praising in your hearts to the Lord,
giving thanks always for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to the God and Father,
being subject to one another in the fear/reverence of Christ,
wives to their own husbands as to the Lord,
because a man is head of the wife,
as also Christ [is] head of the church,
he [being] savior of the body,
but as the church is subject to Christ,
thus also the wives to the husbands in everything.
Husbands , love the wives,
just as also Christ loved the church,
and gave himself for her,
in order that he may make her holy,
cleansing her with the washing of the water in/by the word,
in order that he may present the glorious church to himself,
not having a spot or wrinkle or anything like this,
but in order that she might be holy and blameless.
Thus also husbands ought to love their own wives
as their own bodies.
The one loving his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but he nourishes and cherishes it,
just as also Christ [does] the church,
because members we are of his body.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother,
and he will be joined to his wife,
and the two will become into one flesh.
This mystery is great.
Now I am speaking about Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, also you, each one of you [husbands], must love the [wife] as himself.
Now the wife, that she must fear/revere her husband.
