Let's start today by reading 1 Corinthians 7:1:
"Now concerning the things about which you wrote: "It is good for a man, a woman/wife not to touch."
Paul here is quoting a Corinthian slogan. And what he's been doing, throughout chapter 7, is interacting with this slogan from different perspectives. Up to this point, his focus has been on married people. But the slogan could also be read about singlehood.
Is it good for singles "not to touch"? Are singles better off staying single, or getting married? Paul has sort of talked about this, but he has done so up until now with an eye more toward married people. Here, if you are single, he directly, specifically, addresses you.
(25) Now, concerning the virgins, a command from the Lord I don't have.
Now, a considered judgment I give,
as one having been shown mercy by the Lord, for the purpose that I would be faithful.
What Paul is about to say, he says apart from a clear command from the Lord Jesus. The Lord Jesus said nothing that you can simply point to, and say, "Obey the red letters in the Bible on this issue."
But this doesn't mean that Paul is helpless here. Paul has thought about this issue. He's lived this issue, as one who is single. He has a carefully considered opinion on the matter.
And Paul, having described it that way, immediately makes it clear that his considered opinion has weight. Paul writes as someone who was personally shown mercy by the Lord Jesus because Jesus wanted him to be his faithful servant.
Let's turn to Acts 26:12-18. Here, Paul tells King Agrippa why Jesus appeared to him:
12 “In this connection I journeyed to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests. 13 At midday, O king, I saw on the way a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, that shone around me and those who journeyed with me. 14 And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in the Hebrew language,[a] ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’ 15 And I said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord said, ‘I am Jesus whom you are persecuting. 16 But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you, 17 delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles—to whom I am sending you 18 to open their eyes,
so that they may turn from darkness to light
and from the power of Satan to God,
that they may receive forgiveness of sins
and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.’
Jesus showed Paul mercy, revealing himself to Paul, for the purpose that Paul would become his faithful servant. Paul is Jesus' envoy ("apostle") (1:1), and he determined to be a faithful and trustworthy servant (1 Cor. 4:2). So when he speaks, you are supposed to listen.
Verse 26:
(26) Therefore , I consider this good to be because of the present distress:
that good for a man thus to be/remain.
What is this "present distress"? There's no evidence that the church in Corinth was suffering persecution. It's really, really likely that the problem Paul alludes to here is a famine. Corinth suffered three severe famines around the time Paul may have written his letter. Life was very difficult. Food was scarce, and expensive. When a city (or country) is in a severe famine, or recession, or war, that's not a good time to be getting married. These are times of distress. It's hard to think about marriage, or children, in these times. So, big picture, Paul says that this is not a great time to become married.
Verse 27-28:
(27) Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek release.
Are you released from a wife? Don't seek a wife.
(28) Now, if you marry, you haven't sinned,
and if the female virgin marries, she hasn't sinned.
Now, affliction in the flesh such ones will have.
Now, I would spare you.
Paul is very clear here. He is not commanding people to marry, or not to marry. The choice is entirely up to you. What he says, he says because he cares about them. He's trying to spare them "affliction in the flesh."
If you are engaged, you enter into marriage focused on the positive. You love your fiance. You can't wait to spend the rest of your life with them. And no amount of marital counseling-- no amount of wise counsel-- can fully prepare you for the affliction that is waiting for you. And I say that, not really trying to be amusing. Marriage is hard. And it's hard in ways that you don't anticipate. So Paul writes this, with your best interests in mind.
However, that said, if you marry, that's okay. It's not sinful to marry. And this choice-- to marry, or not-- is entirely up to you. However you hear Paul's words (imperatives) here, understand-- Paul is not commanding you stay single or to marry.
Let's turn to 1 Timothy 4 (ESV b/c lazy):
4 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith
by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits
and teachings of demons,
2 through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared,
3 who forbid marriage
and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who
believe
and know the truth.
4 For everything created by God is good,
and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
5 for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.
Anyone who tells you that you can't eat bacon or beef is pushing demonic teaching on you. Anyone who tells you that you should only eat Impossible Whoppers is listening to deceitful spirits. Eat your bacon cheeseburger, praising God for giving you such wonderful foods-- praising God for giving you today the food you needed.
And anyone who tells you that you can't marry, you can safely ignore. And the Holy Spirit expressly says that this type of teaching is a sign of the "later times." If your pastor, or denomination, pushes these things, it's time to run. Find a different church that follows the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Verse 29-31 (working up until the next "de"):
Now, this I say, brothers: The time is shortened.
From now on, even/also the ones having wives, as if not having wives should be,
and the ones weeping, as [if] not weeping,
and the ones rejoicing, as [if] not rejoicing,
and the ones buying, as [if] not possessing,
(31) and the ones making use of the world, as [if] not making full use of it.
For the present form of this world is passing away.
This world, in its present form, will not exist forever. There will be a new heaven, and a new earth, and we will live forever-- where? We will live forever on the new earth.
And if you understand this, you will walk through life differently. There are times when you find yourself weeping over something. A loved one died. Something truly terrible happened to you. It's good to weep. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't. But when you weep, weep as one who keeps this broader truth in mind.
If you're married, you live-- in some ways-- as if you don't have a spouse. This doesn't mean you don't have to fulfill your obligation to them-- you have to touch them. This doesn't mean you can divorce them-- you can't. So what does it mean? Your world cannot revolve around your spouse-- or your kids. There is a higher priority. There is an awareness that the time is shortened; Jesus is coming.
The ones rejoicing, rejoice as people who understand that the most amazing things on earth, pale in comparison to what's coming.
The ones buying, understand that nothing that you own is yours forever. You don't really possess it.
The ones making use of the world, as ones not making full use of it. Everything in this world is more like a rental, than a possession. The day is coming when you will have to give it back.
Live with an awareness that the time has been shortened. Jesus is coming. And this knowledge should change how you view everything else in life.
In verses 32-35, Paul reframes his discussion of singleness and marriage in terms of "care." When you are married, life gets a lot more complicated. Instead of focusing most of your time and attention upward, you have to split that with your spouse:
(32) Now, I wish you free from care to be.
The unmarried one cares for the things of the Lord-- how he may please the Lord.
(33) Now, the married one cares for the things of the world-- how he may please his wife-- ,
and he has been divided,
and the woman(/wife)-- the unmarried one or the virgin -- cares for the things of the Lord,
[in order] that she may be holy/dedicated both in body and in spirit.
Now, the married woman cares for the things of the world-- how she may please her husband.
(35) Now, this for your own benefit I am saying,
not that a restriction I may place on you,
but to promote respectable and devoted service to the Lord, without distraction.
What's most important in life? Right now, as a single person, you can wake up every day, and be completely dedicated in your service to the Lord, without distraction. But if you marry someone, all of that will change. You will be distracted. You will have to worry about how to please your spouse. You will find your attention divided.
Paul says all of this for your benefit. He wants what's best for you. You can ignore this, and choose to be married, and that's okay. It's not a sin to get married. He's not putting a restriction on you. But go into marriage, understanding that you are sacrificing your single-mindedness.
At this point, we maybe feel like Paul is pushing in wildly different directions. One of the very things he said, in 7:2, was that everyone, because of sexual immorality, should find a spouse. Everyone should get married. But these verses feel like a giant "stop" sign. Stop and think about what you're doing. Stop, and understand what you are giving up if you get married.
It's at this point that Paul begins to put these two things together again. Verse 36:
(36) Now, if anyone thinks he is behaving dishonorably concerning his (female) virgin, if she is past puberty, and thus it ought to be, that what he wishes, he must do.
He isn't sinning.
They must marry.
So let's say you've found someone that you love, and respect, and like. The two of you have become an item. Everyone who sees this special someone, knows that they are "yours," and you are "theirs." Look at how Paul describes the virgin. She is "his." And he would be "hers."
And as you've grown closer, you've found yourself "behaving dishonorably" toward her. This word is often used to describe sins on the slippery slope to "touching" (Bruce Winter, After Corinth, has a long explanation). Paul still calls her "his virgin"-- they haven't taken things the whole way. But the two of you are very aware that you are sinning. And you don't seem to be able to stop.
If this is you, and all you want at this point is to get married, go ahead. "It ought to be, that what you wish, you must do. You aren't sinning. You must marry." Sexual immorality is a terrible sin. And you will serve the Lord better married, in this situation, than you've been. You must marry.
Verse 37:
(37) Now, whoever stands firmly in his heart, not having necessity/compulsion...
Now, authority he has concerning his own will,
and this, he has decided in his heart, to keep his virgin, well he will do,
with the result that both the one marrying his virgin, well he does,
and the one not marrying, better he will do.
Under what circumstances, can you remain single? Paul lists four things that should be true. If both of you are standing firmly in your heart, and if you don't have compulsions toward touching, and if you have authority over your will, and if you've decided in your heart to stay single, you will do better to remain single. You can serve the Lord Jesus together, as friends and companions. But serving the Lord, with both eyes looking upward.
However, if you are burning with desire, or if you have this compulsion, or if you find yourself waffling, or if you aren't able to decide what you desire-- if you don't have authority over your will-- or if you just can't decide in your heart definitively, that you will stay single-- then you should marry. Find a spouse; get hitched.
Now, what about widows? Paul continues (without a "de"):
A wife has been bound for so long a time as her husband lives.
Now, if the husband falls asleep, free she is, to marry whomever she wishes-- only in the Lord.
(40) Now, happier/more blessed she is if thus she remains, according to my considered opinion.
God doesn't care who you marry. There isn't one person out there, that is "the one." You are free to marry whomever you want-- only, notice this, it needs to be someone in the Lord. This little addition is the clearest passage in the Bible, to say you must marry a Christian.
What's interesting here, is that Paul's advice for widows looks a little different than it does for singles. Paul's measured opinion on this, is that widows are happier if they don't remarry. Paul doesn't say why he thinks this. And I'm not a widow, so I don't feel as free to speculate about this. But the decision about whether or not to marry looks very different for a widow than a virgin. You have very different ideas about what marriage is and isn't. You go into that second marriage with a very different perspective.
So Paul, for whatever reason, thinks widows are happier not remarrying. But if you are a widow, and you want to marry, for whatever reason (lonely? burning with desire?), by all means, know that you are free to marry.
Now, I think that also I the Spirit of God have.
This is a slightly snarky way to end chapter 7. Paul thinks that he ALSO has the Spirit of God. He's quite sure about this, actually. So everything he has said in this chapter, he has said as someone who is filled with, and led by, the Holy Spirit.
How should we hear this "also"? Probably, Paul is countering some part of the church that has been teaching something different than what we've read in 1 Corinthians 7, and they've done so claiming that their teaching is Spirit-led. And Paul says that they aren't the only ones who have the Holy Spirit.
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Many of you maybe are used to thinking about ethics, and Christianity, as though there is a clear right and wrong decision in everything. There is a single path that God has for you, and you live in fear that you will somehow drift off of it. And this fear can be crippling-- you can go through life, paralyzed with doubts, worrying that you are making God angry. Or worrying that you are somehow disobeying God.
When it comes to marriage, know that this a choice that's entirely up to you. Singleness is not a sin. And neither is marriage.
If you have authority over your will-- if you can choose what you desire, and think about-- and you want to stay single, you are doing what's best. And as you serve the Lord Jesus with single-minded devotion, understand that God will richly repay you for your sacrifice. You will not out give God, in your sacrifice.
Matthew 19:29-30:
29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold[c] and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
But if you aren't able to do this-- if you are burning with desire, if God has given you the grace of marriage-- don't fight it. If you want to marry "your" virgin, you still do well. You will better serve God, within a marriage. And a divided heart, focused partly on your spouse, and partly on Jesus, is better than a heart that's caught up in sexual immorality.
If this is you, know that you can marry whoever you want. I say this, but it should be qualified (at least) two ways.
First, you need to marry a Christian. Paul is very clear about this. Marry whoever you want, but only in the Lord. And the more committed the Christian, the happier your marriage will probably be. Don't marry a nominal Christian-- marry someone who is truly dedicated to serving Jesus. Marry someone who gets it. Marry someone who won't fight you in your service to the Lord Jesus.
Second, marry well (this is more Proverbs). I've met a few people over the years, or heard a few people yelling at their spouse or their kids, and I think to myself, "Wow. Someone thought it was a good idea to marry you." Which is maybe not very nice. But when you meet that special someone, pay attention to how they treat the people that most bother them in life. It may be a sibling, or a parent, or a coworker. But the people they treat most poorly-- with anger, or frustration, or impatience, or complaining-- know that this is the kind of treatment that's coming to you, at least at times. Make sure you can handle that. Make sure you are okay being married to someone who lives this way.
So should you marry? The choice is entirely up to you. Just, make your choice after reflecting on Paul's carefully considered opinion, and after being honest about who you are, and how you live, and what grace God gave you.
Text:
(25) Now, concerning the virgins, a command from the Lord I don't have.
(26) Now, a considered judgment I give,
as one having been shown mercy by the Lord, faithful to be:
Therefore , I consider this good to be because of the present distress:
that good for a man thus to be/remain.
(27) Are you bound to a wife? Don't seek release.
Are you released from a wife? Don't seek a wife.
(28) Now, if you marry, you haven't sinned,
and if the female virgin marries, she hasn't sinned.
Now, affliction/distress in the flesh such ones will have.
Now, I would spare you.
Now, this I say, brothers: The time is shortened.
From now on, even/also the ones having wives, as if not having wives should be,
and the ones weeping, as [if] not weeping,
and the ones rejoicing, as [if] not rejoicing,
and the ones buying, as [if] not possessing,
(31) and the ones making use of the world, as [if] not making full use of it.
For the present form of this world is passing away.
(32) Now, I wish you free from care to be.
The unmarried one cares for the things of the Lord-- how he may please the Lord.
(33) Now, the married one cares for the things of the world-- how he may please his wife--,
and he has been divided,
and the woman(/wife)-- the unmarried one or the virgin -- cares for the things of the Lord,
[in order] that she may be holy/dedicated both in body and in spirit.
Now, the married woman cares for the things of the world-- how she may please her husband.
(35) Now, this for your own benefit I am saying,
not that a restriction I may place on you,
but to promote respectable and devoted service to the Lord, without distraction.
(36) Now, if anyone thinks he is behaving dishonorably concerning his (female) virgin, if she is past puberty, and thus it ought to be, that what he wishes, he must do.
He isn't sinning.
They must marry.
Now, whoever stands firmly in his heart, not having necessity/compulsion...
Now, authority he has concerning his own will,
and this, he has decided in his heart, to keep his virgin, well he will do,
with the result that both the one marrying his virgin, well he does,
and the one not marrying, better he will do.
A wife has been bound for so long a time as her husband lives.
Now, if the husband falls asleep, free she is, to marry whomever she wishes-- only in the Lord.
(40) Now, happier/more blessed she is if thus she remains, according to my considered opinion.
Now, I think that also I the Spirit of God have.
