“When Jesus had said these things, He became troubled in spirit, and testified and said, “Truly, truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” John 13:21.
We are called to love and forgive. But how do you forgive those who have hurt you in ways that are beyond understanding? How do you reconcile with them when their words and actions have broken your heart? How can you move past the hurt to forgiveness and love?
Our LORD has been there. Jesus Christ understands our pain more than we know.
Is there anything more painful than the wounds caused by betrayal? Even today, the name Judas is synonymous with “betrayer.” For over three years, Judas lived with Jesus. He and the other disciples witnessed the power, and character of Jesus daily. Yet he betrayed his LORD. Judah, the man of Kerioth, was part of the inner circle, one of the Twelve disciples of Jesus. Yet, he hurt the One who loves him unconditionally. Every miracle, parable, sermon, and every single act of compassion, was designed by Jesus to reveal His identity and purpose to His disciples. Eleven of them got the message; Judas never did! He was a friend and an associate pastor who broke bread at Jesus’ table. Yet, Judas lifted his hands in betrayal. After receiving the traitor's kiss, Jesus addressed Judas as “friend.” A kiss speaks of love, affection, tenderness, respect and intimacy. Strangers would never greet each other with a kiss, for it was a greeting reserved only for the most special of relationships. A kiss is a symbol of commitment, obligations, and covenant. Yet Judas betrayed his friend with a kiss.
Have you been hurt by someone you loved? Maybe there is a pastor who has taken a break from the pulpit because of this. Indeed, betrayal hurts deeply because it’s personal. It destroys the foundation of trust. But if you allow your hurt to fester and grow, it will only make you bitter and sick. Life is too short to go through it with bitterness. Loving like Jesus is the best way to live. God, who is love and who loved us, commands us to love one another.
“7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:7-11.
Love is meant to be protective. But what happens when your heart is hurt by the ones you love? Relationships should erase our tears, not our smiles. So what happens, when the one who should be making you smile is the author of your tears? In truth, love is costly!
“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18-19.
So often, people say they love each other, but, as soon as one gets angry, out comes the list of past wrongs! Accusations fly, painful memories are brought up, and bygones are no longer bygones. This ought not to be so! Love does not keep a record of wrongs. When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” Matthew 18:21-22. True love genuinely forgives, and it doesn’t repeat past sins.
“4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
True love is more than a feeling. Love is patience. It can tolerate pain or suffering without complaining. True love is kind. It has a gentle, caring and compassionate heart. True love feels your sorrow; it feels your joy. It doesn’t deliberately cause pain. True love is not envious. It is thankful for what it has and thankful for what’s to come. It doesn’t envy others or what they have. True love is humble. It is not boastful, arrogant or proud. It is humble enough to admit its own mistakes and strives daily to correct them. True love forgives. It is respectful. True love doesn’t put you into a place of shame or humiliation. Love is selfless. It is always thoughtful and concerned about the welfare of others. True love is not selfish, inconsiderate, and greedy. The love heart is deep and its mind is not narrow. It keeps forgiving. True love always does the right thing. It disciplines itself to avoid hurting others. True love is honest. It is truthful. It doesn’t lie and hide in darkness. It always protects you and wants you to be safe. True love trusts unconditionally. It recognizes your abilities, talents, skills and the good things in you. True love is hopeful of a better time. It is optimistic. True love sees a bright future together. True love is persistent. It doesn’t easily give up. True love is not fearful or insecure. It loves genuinely. True love does well even to those who hate it.
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.” – 1 John 4:7.
So, when someone hurts you deeply, how do you learn to love them again?
1. Believe in God for the best. 1 Corinthians 13:7.
2. Pray for yourself. Matthew 7:3-5. Ask God to give you the grace to forgive.
3. Pray for them. Matthew 5:44. Unforgiveness hinders prayer.
4. Be ready to forgive. Ephesians 4:32. Work on it. Forgiveness is for your well-being.
5. Renew your mind with the Word of God daily. Romans 12:2.
6. Extend grace to those who hurt you. Cover their sin. 1 Peter 4:8.
7. Don’t gossip about them or what they’ve done! Proverbs 11:13. Leave it to God.
8. Bless them with your words. Ephesians 4:29. Don’t curse those who hurt you.
9. Help them if they need help. Luke 6:27. Love is action. It’s more than feeling.
10. Don’t gloat when they have trouble. Proverbs 24:17.
11. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Matthew 7:12.
“He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3.
There are many in the church today with hidden wounds. These wounds could go back to your childhood or just yesterday. The world is filled with broken-hearted people. Many believers today suffer from bitterness and depression. And yes, physical wounds can be easily treated. But soul wounds are more complicated. A broken heart can break a relationship. Sometimes your heart is so broken that you can’t even express it in words and nothing seems to take the pain away. Do you feel as though no one cares about what you have been through? In our pain, despair, and brokenness, God longs to heal your broken heart and wounded soul.
Time does not heal wounds! Only Jesus can truly heal our hearts, and set us free. He sees every heartache and every tear. True healing is in God’s hands. He is the only One who can restore and turn broken vessels into brand new ones. The healing of a broken heart is a part of redemption and we need to receive it just like we receive salvation or physical healing. Today, are you discouraged? Have you been let down? Focus on God. Place your heart in His hands. Surrender it to God. Let Him do what He has promised. Allow Him to reconstruct the brokenness and infuse joy into your damaged souls. Praise and worship Him daily. Commit your needs to Him. He will give you hope, and bring light to any dark areas of your life.
“28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
How is your relationship with God today? If you want to give your life to Jesus Christ and start a new relationship with Him, you can pray this prayer right now: Heavenly Father, I come to You today. I know I am a sinner. I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me and He resurrected on the third day. I repent of my sins and forsake them. I confess Jesus as my Lord and Savior and surrender my life to Him today. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for saving me and making me a child of God. Amen.
If you prayed that prayer, you are now a child of God. So stand firm in the faith
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10.
PRAYERS:
1. Father, I surrender into Your hands all that is hurting in my life, in Jesus’ name.
2. O LORD, heal my broken heart. Fill me with Your peace and joy, in Jesus’ name.
3. Father, walk beside me during my journey to healing and recovery, in Jesus’ name.
4. O LORD, help me face this day without any fear and worry, in Jesus’ name.
5. Holy Spirit, fill me with hope. I hold fast to Your promise to make all things new.
6. Thank You, Father, for answering my prayers.
