Continuing Pastor Mike’s series on God’s Top Ten tonight we will be looking at the fifth commandment. Some people seem to think that honoring their parents is merely getting them gifts or a visit on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. God has a much deeper take on the subject.
Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Often we think of the Ten Commandments as brief statements, but like this one they are actually like chapter headings or the main points of an outline with sub-points to come later. Indeed, the entire Old Testament explains how God meant them to be worked out in the life of His people showing they could not keep them. It also concealed the ultimate answer to the sin problem; Jesus Christ. This was fully revealed in the New Testament.
We are to value or honor our parents and the Hebrew is more like weighty. They should carry great weight or influence in our lives because of their value. Not every person who dies young has dishonored or devalued their parents, but for those who do there is no promise of a long life. In fact, it could bring a judicial death. A person can honor their parents and still make some bad decisions that shorten their life. I found eighteen verses on this subject in the Old Testament, but the list is not exhaustive. It only covers the terms I searched. To have that many verses on one subject indicates that God is very serious about it and wanted to make sure we see some areas covered by the command we may not have considered.
Exodus 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.
We think of cursing as bad words directed at someone and that is a part of it, but it can also be vilifying them or despising them as well as showing contempt for them or their authority. The passage speaks to a male as it is often the male child that is attempting to assert his own independence and does it negatively if his parents disagree with his decisions or just want him to slow his roll and think something through more carefully. That is not to say that a female cannot do the same. In these days, females can be just as demeaning and rebellious.
Leviticus 20:9 For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.
Here we see that one responsible for the rebellious person’s death. They brought it on themselves.
Exodus 21:15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.
There is no age limit on this. Whether he beats his parents as a rebellious youth or when they are in their old age he is to be put to death. Indeed, his age is not taken into account. You do the deed and you will bleed is how that worked. I personally believe that if you are old enough to do an adult crime you should be tried as an adult and we see more of that these days. It used to be a given anyone underage would be tried as a juvenile and usually get out of jail at 21 in my day and 18 now.
The rate of parricide or parents killed by their children since the 1970s is two to three hundred a year. That is considered a small amount. One in five are committed by people under 18 and many are because of abuse or mental illness of the perpetrator according to an article by Fiona Guy for Crime Traveller.*
Deuteronomy 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
Again, God repeats the promise of long life as well as life will go well in the land, which is a specific issue to to Israel. Israel was conquered many times due to disobedience, especially idolatry, but God brought them back after they repented. He also used famine so life was not well in the land. Ultimately, they sinned against God the Father and if they were rebellious against Him you can imagine that rebellion against their parents was also prevalent. Much like we see in our time.
Deuteronomy 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.
Not only your actions towards you parents could get you a death penalty, but also actions that would show you did not honor or value your parents by bringing disgrace to them. Pastor told us about the Prodigal’s father shamed himself by running to his son, but his son may not have made it to his home as people in the town may have stoned because they knew his sin. A lot of us from my generation are very glad we are not living under the Old Testament in Israel. We would not have survived our teens and maybe not even that far. Many in the current generation would be no longer with us if we were still under the Law in Israel. Be thankful for the age of grace.
Solomon had much to say about honoring parents by obedience and remembering their instructions.
Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
Not chains of oppression as some children think, but rather bling! Valuing their instructions will bring you good attention and be as valuable as the gold bling on Mr. T. You may need to look him up to get the picture.
I lost my father when I was nearly seven. As far as I know, no churches really reached out to help us. I was bullied by teachers as well as peers so I had authority issues. Considering the lack of resources and few, if any, caring for my Mom’s and my soul she did the best she could and I honor and respect her more than I ever did. Too late for me to show her honor as she died in 1989 thirty years after my Dad.
Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Again keep or guard your father’s commands and do not walk away from your mother’s law or instructions. In most cases, they are the people who love you most and want nothing, but the best for you.
10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
Want to make your father glad? Honor him. What to make your mother sorrow? Be foolish.
15:20 A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
By being a fool, you show that you despise your mother and you do not care about your father’s happiness. It’s all about you! Your mother put a lot of care into you from conception to adulthood. You spit on that care when you do things that break her heart.
19:26 He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.
The word wasteth can mean being brutal, but can also mean to rob and many kids rob their parents, especially when they are elderly. When his mother tries to guide him or needs him he chases her away. He brings shame and disappointment to his parents and whether he senses it or not to himself as well. People who know what he is doing may reprove and despise him. Ten percent of elders will experience abuse. Nearly 58% of the abusers are family members.
20:20 Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.
Your lamp is your life and can refer to your reputation for a man’s reputation either allows him to shine in society or leads him into social obscurity or in the shadows. The Hebrew for obscure comes form the word for the eye. Jesus spoke of the eye being the light of the body. He said if the eye be evil how great is that darkness. The lamp or candle is also used of the life of a person meaning this person will die in darkness. In Revelation, taking away the seven churches lamp stand was taking away their witness, authority and impact. None of the churches in Revelation exist. A church may be there now, but it is not as it was then. Many people also lose their lamp stand and the root for some may well be in the fact they dishonored or devalued their parents.
Proverbs 28:24 Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.
Another reference to robbing his parents. In his mind it is not a transgression because he feels like it is rightfully his thinking he is merely getting an advance of his inheritance. Yet, he is the same as being a companion or associate of a destroyer or one who causes ruin or in reality, a thief.
Proverbs 30:11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
We have seen several generations of this. Children sue their parents and seek to divorce them. One person sued the parents because they made be born a Caucasian. There was even an episode of a TV program where an eight year old wanted to file for emancipation from his parents.
Isaiah spoke of a time in Israel when children were oppressors. We see that in what I have said and most gang members are recruited at a young age.
17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.
Again, not a good end for such a child. These are all Old Testament and you might think God views honoring parents a bit differently today. Not so.
Matthew 15:13 But he answered and said unto them, Why do ye also transgress the commandment of God by your tradition?
14 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.
15 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;
16 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.
Here Jesus repeats the death penalty passage. He also speaks to not honoring the parents and robbing them and chasing them away because the Pharisees had an out if someone did not want to provide for their parents. Just say whatever you would have given to them you gave to God and you ere done and they were abandoned.
I am afraid we have many traditions of men in the Body of Christ. We gloss over large portions of Scripture so we can do what we or the culture wants or to explain away something we do want not do.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Indeed, it is right for a child to obey their their parents. There are times because the parents are unrighteous when a child should disobey. Children have been made to do terrible things because their parents demanded it. Parents have trafficked their daughters, locked sons in closets or basements starving and abusing them. No one has the right to do these things just because they call themselves parents. Indeed, they are DNA mixers, not parents.
Honor here is to prize or value your parents. I realize that it may be hard for some to do that. They may have been abused or neglected so they do not have the same respect as someone who had ideal parents. Sadly, some kids have ideal parents yet they hate and abuse their parents. Like the prodigal son some want their inheritance before their parents die.
1 Timothy 5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.
4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
Notice that a widow is to be supported by nephews if she has no children of her own. We gave care of widows and orphans over to the government and then complain about its inefficiency. Care for family was always supposed to be by the family. Like the Walton’s on TV grandparents were meant to be in the home of the children or grandchildren not in a nursing home. Indeed, a nursing home should only be for those who have severe medical/mental health needs. Too often a nursing home is just a recycle bin for people are no longer useful to the family after many years of providing for the family. They got in the way and were put away.
1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
If you do not provide for your own you are worse than an unbeliever. That is harsh, but there are hardened criminals that will take care of their parents better than some who profess the name of Christ. I have ministered in nursing homes and met people who have relatives, but they never visit.
Indeed, Paul said that you have denied the faith. You are not lost, but you have given reasons for the enemies of Christ to blaspheme because you do not show even natural love let alone the agape love we are supposed to show to all people, especially parents and widows.
John 19:26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.
Caring for His mother was a primary concern even when Christ was on the Cross. As the eldest son, it was His responsibility to provide for His mother. Why He chose John over other siblings we do not know. Jesus did know that John loved Him so much that he would take very good care of His mother until her death.
How much do you honor your parents? Do they pine away in a nursing home or even in their own home because you rarely visit. A phone call is nice, but we are social people and seeing your face, hugging and kissing your neck is far better than a card or a call. A call is cheap. A visit is invaluable.
Do they have needs you can fulfill, but you expect the Government to handle everything? The Government is no way near as efficient as a person who loves their parents or others in the family. There is no massive paperwork or waiting when love is at work.
Is it too late to honor your parents because they are gone? Then look for a man or woman who has no one and adopt them. You will be surprised at what that kind of relationship will do for you and them. We need to love and be loved. We are to love and do good to all men, but especially those of the household of faith. How are you doing? Ask God to show you what you need to do. Maranatha!!!
* https://www.crimetraveller.org/2017/02/parricide-psychology-when-children-kill-parents/
