We’ve all done it! We've all mumbled or shouted complaints and accusations many times in our lives. Right? Whether it’s about someone who slighted us or more mundane complaints about the thickening traffic and such. Some persons caterwaul and bellyache day in and day out, almost every time they see you. Don't hold your breath about them changing into better moods or becoming more positive persons. We all know someone that is a “happy person” And even the happiest of people complain once in a while. But I've never known a chronic complainer that was a happy person. Have you?
Philippians 2:14-15, ERV, tells us, “Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you will be blameless and pure, children of God without any fault. But you are living with evil people all around you, who have lost their sense of what is right.”
Griping, even though it may come naturally, isn’t necessarily a good release. Stewing over negative feelings, and reinforcing them through constant discussions can contribute to paralyzing depressions.” This happens because the more you do something, or repeat negative thoughts, the more entrenched that atmosphere becomes in enveloping your brain. Thus you will continue to do it more and more. Certainly, all that is a downward spiral.
A person might believe that constantly complaining might be an expedient way to relive frustrations but that is seldom true. Yes, “popping your cork” once in a great while can also be a useful tool in soothing the savage inclinations that resided within us. In short, yes, it can be a relief to get things off your chest once in a while, but there’s a right way to do it.
Doing it right starts with understanding how the word “complaining” is frequently exploited to describe a mixed bag of ill behaviors, some more noxious than others. Separating these distinctions varies between so-called experts, but there are roughly three concepts; venting, problem solving, or over-lengthy contemplation. Knowing which behavior you’re engaging in, why, and with what purpose can help you put in place good habits that will not only make your complaining less frequent but modify your emotional health and build stronger relationships with the people you care for, as well as total strangers.
In general, we’re not very good at expressing our individual feelings, so it’s pretty common to complain in order to express negative feelings.” And since, “any time we are sharing emotional content with someone, that is either a vehicle for brooding or bonding. It seems, more today than yesterday's past that we’re especially fond of and more adroit at using complaining as a social tool. For those of you that Tweet or Twitter, have you noticed the ratio of negative texts to the more positive ones? Since I do not tweet or twitter, I can only hazard a guess that it is about 10 to 1 in favor of the negative expressions.
“Internet Friends” do feel closer to one another, as complaints that correspond to their communal ways of thinking blend. Still, this comes with a serious warning; complaining, as the primary focus in our relationships, can make us dwell on our problems for longer, triggering several stress-related responses. Friendships built over mutual dissatisfaction can also prove brittle when one of the participant's problems can not be resolved and the other party wants to interject their negative thoughts on different matters and you are unable to get in a word edgewise.
Throughout any era of history, believers have complained about this or that on a daily basis. What does the Bible offer as advice about complaining? As a matter of curiosity, if we complain, are we living by God’s commands. While we are motivated to live in His Word today, we also realize we are now in a complain-heavy culture. We constantly hear or see complaints from every corner of society, and that makes it vital to our mental and spiritual health to understand what God says on this topic. Moreover, we must understand it is essential to access His power to resist the press of the crowd and exit the ever-widening whiny road.
Powerful peer pressure to join the carping, moaning and groaning is insanely intense. Even within the church, or competing churches, complaining and grumbling often run rampant. Just click your remote to the news channel or scroll through your social media offerings. Remember when you used to go to work and at the lunch break sat down at a dining table? It didn't take long before someone began to complain about something or everything. How can we resist? God’s Word has the answer.
Does the Bible Talk about Complaining? Absolutely! God knows our flaws and is aware of our reoccurring shortfalls. Originally, God created Adam and Eve to be completely contented. To be satisfied with God and all that He provides. But then Satan entered in, and sin begins. Today, it seems, we are tempted to continual dissatisfaction, constantly re-chewing and regurgitating all that doesn't correspond to our particular perspective.
Of course, all situations and conflicts don't roll along as they should. Confronting strife is different from just complaining about them and, in reality, doing nothing. Identifying problems, advocating peace, working towards justice, and serving others commanded by Jesus and the Holy Scriptures. But grumbling and groaning are not a means to an end.
The New Testament offers various verses about the particularly irksome habit of complaining. For example, what could be plainer than 1 Peter 4:9? “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.” According to Peter, we are to welcome one another in and demonstrate hospitality without complaining. The same verse read from the Easy to Read version is even gracious and benevolent; “Open your homes to each other and share your food without complaining.” As an aside note, I can't speak for your thoughts, but to me, the ERV takes too much latitude with that translation.
James 5:9 instructs us, “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!” James is telling us not to grumble or gossip about one another to avoid condemnation because our Judge hears all things.
Paul weighs in specifically and clearly that we are to do all things without complaining or arguing! His writing in Philippians 2:14-16 reads very sternly, “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.” “All things” is wholly comprehensive.
That directive is a lofty mission, but reachable and doable! Of course, we need the power of the Holy Spirit to resist the erosion of this new favorite pastime, and as an alternative, “hold fast to the Word of Life.” When we do, we glimmer and shine as beacons of lights in this world. Our Christian-glowing, guide others towards a more peaceful, better way. The way of Christ.
God has plenty of suggestions about how we should spend our prayers, thanksgivings, building one another up by encouragements, and spreading His Word in our everyday activities. If complaining people have ever encircled you, surely you can testify to the excessive strain that places on any listener! But being surrounded by people with prayerful praise, biblical teachings, and loving encouragement is like finding cooling shade, and thirst-quenching waters in an oasis near the middle of an inhospitable desert.
The Bible acknowledges that we have needs and its guidance recognizes many situations that need to be addressed. Proverbs 1:7 puts forward this concept; “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. God commands us to pray, rejoice, give thanksgiving, and make our requests known to Him. (Philippians 4:6-7) All these say that when circumstances are not as they should be, we should trust that our God will bring us to better circumstances or has a purpose for the current situation which we cannot understand. According to Micah 6:8, we are to love justice and mercy and walk with humility with our God.
Satan and his demons sow the seeds of discontent, spiritually and worldly--complaining, grumbling, and murmuring are representations of weak characteristics. More often than not, instead of voicing dissatisfaction, we should be expressing gratitude for our blessings.
Often our objections project an arrogant tone, feeling we deserve better than what we’ve received. Have you ever complained about the Pastor's performance? Have you ever heard church leaders complain that the people in the pews are apathetic? These are signs of situations that need changing in a positive way. Those types of complaining have elements of disgruntled behavior but most often true corrective actions are not expressed or addressed.
Do you think the Bible says complaining is a Sin? One loose definition of sin is “to miss the mark.” That’s what complaining and grumblings do. People who follow Jesus, yet still complain miss the mark! God wants a relationship with us based on faith, trust, and positive communication through our earthly lives and our prayers. He wants us in relationships with one another characterized by love, good works, and humble kindness. He wants our words to spill forth full of life and light. Grumbling and complaining don’t mesh with that matrix because that misses the mark of spoken communications worthy of people who have been delivered from sin and are blessed to spend all eternity in heaven.
Do you recall a famous demonstration of the complaining ugliness that occurred in the wilderness after God had delivered the Israelite's from slavery in Egypt? Numbers 11:1 NKJV reports, “Now when the people complained, it displeased the Lord; for the Lord heard it, and His anger was aroused. So the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some in the outskirts of the camp.” Wow! Nearly killed for merely complaining. That sounds mighty severe, but we must always remember; God is just.
Even though the Israelite's had suffered for generations under the Pharaohs of Egypt and had been subject to hard labor, God, in His time, caused a miraculous intervention. He guided Moses, Aaron, and Miriam in leading the people out of bondage. After separating the waters so members of this rag-tag caravan were free to flee and travel to the Promised Land, full of milk and honey, God still shepherded their care and welfare. He provided water from a rock and food fell from the sky every morning during their journey. This wafer-like food, Manna, was gathered each morning with just enough falling to feed them each day. It was there every morning except Sabbath, and whatever they tried to keep overnight would rot right away. Only on the day before Sabbath were they allowed to gather a two-day supply, which, by the hand of God, somehow remained fresh.
These people were protected by God during the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the destruction of Pharaoh’s army. They witnessed water streaming out from a rock, food falling from the sky, plus a pillar of fire led them to the promised land, yet, they complained throughout their trek. They moaned about the food because they missed the fare on which they dined as slaves. The word “ungrateful” comes to my mind. Are we, today, just as ungrateful?
Though “ungrateful” is not specifically mentioned in the KJV or NKJV Bibles, not being grateful is sinful. However, within the opening verses of 2 Timothy 3, of the ERV we can read: “Remember this: There are some terrible times coming in the last days. People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud and boast about themselves. They will abuse others with insults. They will not obey their parents. They will be ungrateful and against all that is pleasing to God. They will have no love for others and will refuse to forgive anyone. They will talk about others to hurt them and will have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. People will turn against their friends. They will do foolish things without thinking and will be so proud of themselves. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure. They will go on pretending to be devoted to God, but they will refuse to let their devotion change the way they live. Stay away from these people!”
Refusing to be satisfied with our lives as presented by God and stirring others up with our dissatisfaction is offensive because our God is a loving God. He is the Father of all, He provides for our needs and hears our prayers. Negative conversations create a culture of discontent that seeps into the psyche of those within hearing range. It can depress other people and turn them away from Jesus and send them searching for false idols.
Complaining is a seriously detrimental act. It’s also unpleasant to be near. Have you ever spent time around people who habitually moan, teens and children who are constantly fretful, or an older adult who can never find anything satisfactory? If so, then you know how exhausting those times can be. We need to keep our positive energy and willpower flowing for all the good works God calls us to accomplish. Complaining diminishes our testimony, faith, and persona.
What should we Christians do instead of Complaining? Don't you believe it would be the mature thing to do to address situations head-on when something isn’t right? When people act wrong around us, shouldn't we verbalize our grievances rather than complain to everyone else? If we need strength to act properly ourselves, we should pray that God provides the strength of character we are lacking. We need to pray not only for our own needs, but for one another.
Rather than spew discord by complaining we should do as 2 Thessalonians 3:5 KJV tells us. “And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ.” I believe similar sentiments are cast by Romans 5:1-5 from the ERV, “We have been made right with God because of our faith. So we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through our faith, Christ has brought us into that blessing of God’s grace that we now enjoy. And we are very happy because of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory. And we are also happy with the troubles we have. Why are we happy with troubles? Because we know that these troubles make us more patient. And this patience is proof that we are strong. And this proof gives us hope. And this hope will never disappoint us. We know this because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts through the Holy Spirit he gave us.”
James 1:19-20 KJV also offers excellent advice. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” In fact, The book of James is a wonderful message about the reality of suffering, the dangers of the tongue, and all that we can do instead of complaining. When battling the complaining habit, it’s worthwhile to turn to James for instruction. Within his book, you will note that James 5, encourages patience, perseverance, and focus on the knowledge that God is coming soon.
Are we considered “counter-cultural” because as Christians we are called to act as Jesus lived? What could be more counter-cultural, in these times, than doing everything without complaining or arguing? That doesn’t mean we have to tolerate abuse without taking action or discussing change. It means we shouldn't sit around complaining or bemoaning our situation. Instead, we should pray and take Christian-corrective actions with all consideration to God’s Word. Get wise counsel from mature believers, if need be, then, invoke humble and patient solutions. Corrective actions out way complaints by incalculable benefits.
As we keep our eyes on Jesus and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit, we can resist this current, culture of complaints. Whenever we do, we certainly shine as His lights in our ever-expanding circles of influence. How better a way to conduct ourselves-- so that others may follow our examples and smooth their path on their way to finding salvation.
Do you ever feel like God Isn't Acting on your complaints? I've been told that someone complained, “How long am I supposed to pray if God continues to ignore my complaints and pleas for help?” You might think God is ignoring you when He doesn’t answer your prayers of complaint the way you’re hoping, and as soon as you wish. But Scripture tells us God may choose to be silent. One helpful verse relating to unanswered prayer – is Psalm 84:11, in which the Psalmist states “The Lord God is our protector and glorious king. He blesses us with kindness and honor. The Lord freely gives every good thing to those who do what is right. ” There are loads of encouragement within this verse for why God might or might not be answering your prayers. Of course, there is also a burden placed upon us. What is that burden?
Yes, we are expected to “do right.” Even if you are “doing right,” another reason your prayers are unanswered might be; God’s idea of how to resolve your complaint is, more than likely, very different than yours.
You might be grumbling about a neighbor's accusation that impugned your character, the Church service, or a friend you feel slighted you. Or maybe you are bewailing the fact that you can't win the lottery even though you promise to give most of the winnings away to charity. Why would God not solve all these complaints? After all, you are a very good Christian, aren't you? Even though you might think a certain way about a particular situation, God’s opinion will likely differ. Just because we want something to change to make us happier doesn’t mean it’s beneficial for us. Remember, God has our path to eternal salvation in mind.
In Matthew 7:11 Jesus said, “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father, who is in heaven, give good things to those who ask Him!”
We want our children to be happy, but not at the expense of their health, and therefore we don’t give them sweets and soda-pop with every meal. Sure, we want them to get good jobs. However, we cannot do the work for them because they need to learn self-responsibility. Suffering minor consequences of bad decisions are better for them in the long run. Experiences need to be lived through to learn from.
Trust that your Heavenly Father truly knows what is best for you. While you may be heartbroken with the state of affairs you find yourself in, God may be sparing you from worse sessions of brokenheartedness down the road.
Remember your burden to live a Christian life. God is wanting and waiting for you to be obedient. Scripture exhorts us, as in 1 Peter 1:13-15: Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” Psalm 84:11 instructs us, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
Do you? Walk uprightly? Is your surrendered life obedient to Him? If not, God may be withholding solutions to your complaints. He might be refusing to acknowledge your prayers--strictly to get you aligned to His will and purposes.
Yes, God has three answers. Yes, no, and wait. Because He knows what’s best for us, He also sees what lies in our futures. We can’t know what's waiting for us down the earthly path we are on. We must trust and honor His righteous judgments. Try not to second-guess Him. His timing is always far better than our own. If His answer is yes, then hooray for our side. If his answer is no, then we must accept it and continue on without complaining or revisiting our negative thoughts.
More often than not, we will have to wait. If we are walking uprightly and what we've asked for is truly good things, then, according to Psalm 84:11, God is not withholding anything after all. it just isn’t the right time to answer our prayers of request.
And how we pray is just as important as what we pray for. We must pray in positive faith. Mark 11:24 ESV states, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” James 1:6, ESV, reinforces the same thoughts by telling us, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”
James 1:5-8 NIV relates, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” James 1:6, ESV, reinforces the same thoughts by telling us, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.”
Hebrews 11:6 continues in the same expressively Holy style, “And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” So ask in faith and without hesitation or doubt. God may be waiting for you to truly believe He can do what you are asking for.
One of my favorite “faith” quotes comes from Matthew 21:21-22, So Jesus answered and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”
In conclusion, for reasons unknown to us, God might say “No!” God sometimes tells us “no” or closes doors forever because He has something better for us that we haven’t even thought about asking. God, and His Son Jesus, can do boundlessly more than all we can imagine. We must trust His timing, trust His “no,” and trust He knows what is eternally best for all of us. God is trustworthy.
The Bible tells us to trust God. In fact, the exact middle verse of the Bible is Psalm 118:9 which says “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes.” Amen!
The End
